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Revision as of 18:08, 23 April 2011

Offended?

If you have been offended by "Holocaust",
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.
Anorexia was rampant in Nazi penal institutions. Top row: Schlomo "The Homo" Kohn, Anne Frank and Natalie Portman's grandparents.
Anorexia was rampant in Nazi penal institutions. Top row: Schlomo "The Homo" Kohn, Anne Frank and Natalie Portman's grandparents.

Holocaust is part of a series on final solutions.


[crackersGas the...]

The Lolocaust, also known as "the fine ol' solution" or "Holohoax", is the lulziest event the world has ever known. It is also the means by which kikes contrives to cow and milk the rest of the us in the guise of victims who are persecuted and due eternal restitution. In contrast with common belief, the Holocaust™ was a mere misunderstanding- Hitler always maintained the Holocaust™ was a practical joke that got out of control. Irrefutable studies also show that this false belief can be attributed to a group of anorexic fucktards recruited by Hitler to take part in his homemade Goatse collage.

In the neutral eyes of karma the Jews had it coming for a long time for propagating a religion based on rape and pillaging. For more information regarding the Jew menace see the main article on Jews.

The Holocaust a.k.a. Lollercaust or The Greatest Jewish Conspiracy

Typical Auschwitz prisoner
Good times...
File:Easybakeoven.png
Easy bakin'
What REALLY was going on in death camps ...
Rare archive phtography of Auschwitz camwhores. Surprisingly, they didn't do it for money, but for the lulz.
Even in death camps Jews can't resist making more fucking cash.
Hanging with my homies.
King of the hill. Fucking yeah!

Fritz Haber, Jewish scientist and inventor of chemical warfare back in WW1, invented Zyklon B, a cyanide releasing compound used to kill the Jews, proving once and for all that the Jews did the holocaust. To thank him Hitler stripped him of his job and kicked him out the country. Haber's son became an hero when the death camps were discovered with his father's dirty fingerprints all over them.

Most people know this (THE JEWS), but The Holocaust never really happened, and if it did than it would be quite fair to say Hitler can no longer be called an hero because there were still enough Jews alive to round up and create a country out of. The majority of Jews themselves are aware of this. However, after growing a liking of the special privileges accompanied by such a misbelief -taking over a shithole sandpit that no one cares about- they fell for their own lie.

Hitler's plan was to simply expel them out of Europe via packing them onto trains and shipping them out of the continent. Over 9000 Jews suddenly appeared out of thin air in 1945 in what was back then known as Palestine and with the help of the UN they basically took over the land they'd settled in an had it changed to Israel.

Back to the Lollercaust... The main reason for death in the camps was a disease called Tidus from FFX (look it up on the Jew Wikipedia). It is well known that Tidus victims had to be cremated after their death to prevent the spread of the AIDS, since we were all out of Phoenix Down. The pool was closed by the way, hence the showers. What came out of those shower-heads was an insecticide called Zyklon B. One can assume that it was used in very small amounts and probably diluted with some other liquid.

So let me summarize what the Jews went through; Loaded onto trains, traveled to camps, deloused, went back onto the trains, and continued to be shipped off out of Europe. What with the war happening, Hitler had no other choice but to keep the remaining single Jew at Auschwitz (Jerry Seinfeld), due to his railways being blocked off due to being Arch Enemy for a few. He made use of Seinfeld by making him work as Slave Labor to produce lolicon manga and Tootsie Rolls, but not mistreated, in fact he even was given free Red Bull and cigarettes, which he was kind enough to share with Cosmo Kramer since he didn't like niggers either. The epic legend of Seinfeld is sad, yes, but keep in mind that they were just children, and that they could have misinterpreted something they over heard the adults talking about, like when kids lie about being molested by Pedobear. Keep in mind that some adults, especially those from those who are of Eastern European culture like to joke around with children, even if the jokes are a bit mean.

Some of these "survivors" are nothing more than Jews seeking revenge on the fact that the Nazi party openly criticized their beliefs and the fact that they owned (and still own) all of the banks in Europe and all of the intewebs in the 30's through the 40's. Jews invented the internets at least 100 years ago. In fact, if one does their research well, they'll see that plenty of Lollercaust Survivor stories have a very inconsistent continuity because of the presence of Sweeteva on the internets. Here's your proof, you be the judge:only retards close their mind to this. Also, despite being the most documented event in modern history, all of the so-called documents were produced by Jews in their Jew-factories bankrolled by Jew-gold.

Purelily agrees.

Anus Mundi

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Auschwitz was like Disneyland for Nazis, except the rides were better. However, unlike Disneyland, the screaming wasn't from tourists on rollercoasters, but rather from dying Jews, who were burned and slaughtered like our edible creatures from the great farm. Disneyland of Death.

At least 100 years ago, there was a man called Oskar Schindler who tried to save the Jews from the rollercoasters and carousels, but had to send some to Auschwitz to throw off the Nazis. In this way, Auschwitz was kind of like the first ratings community, except with more pro-ana members.

God ordained the Holocaust

Did you know that God ordained the Holocaust? A tremendous amount of Satanic propaganda has fooled almost everyone into thinking the Nazi Holocaust against the Jews was an evil atrocity committed by sadistic lunatics. The Holy Bible, however, makes it clear that the Holocaust was a divine punishment of rebellious sinners!

God made the terms of His relationship with the Jews perfectly clear in the sacred scriptures He inspired their holy men to write. According to Deuteronomy 28:1-3: "And if you obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments... Blessed shall you be in the city and blessed you shall be in the field. Disregard that, I suck chickens."

On the other hand, Deuteronomy 28:58-59 warns: "If you are not careful to do all the words of this law... the Lord your God will bring on you and your offspring extraordinary afflictions, afflictions severe and lasting. Disregard that, I suck cocks."

These scripture are so clear a child could understand. God promises the Jews blessings for obedience, but SEVERE PUNISHMENT if they disobey!

Now the gassings, burnings, starvation and disease of the Nazi death camps were not blessings on the Jews. They were not getting the blessings God promised for obedience, so it is obvious that they must have been DISOBEDIENT! And as disobedient sinners, they fully deserved the SEVERE PUNISHMENT God promised to bring upon them and their offspring!

One thing seems obvious: the Jews were clearly DISOBEDIENT to our Lord. But just what exactly did they do to deserve this Divine Punishment?

Well, that's pretty easy. Here's a short list of ways in which the Jews defied God:

From these facts it becomes obvious that the Jews defied God in ways that are unforgivable. We must stop calling the Holocaust an "atrocity" (as to do so is to blaspheme against Jesus) and start calling it what it is: great justice.

Holocaust Retrospectives

Generally, and Holiday

The ancient Jewish holiday Hanukkah has gone on a great new twist: HANUKAUST. lulz holocaust. It's also great pasta material. For extra lulz, use during the first days of December each year:

Your uncle is a bar of soap, your cousin is a shoe,

your best friend is a candle, and you're a fucking Jew,

Your neighbors are a landfill, too bad you got away,

to open up a shitty deli and live another day

50 years later, you've still got an agenda, for world domination, but you'd better remember,

To when we had the upper hand, Der Fuhrer ruled the land,

You kikes had fun for a century or two

until the famous Auschwitz barbecue

Think of all the friends and family you lost...

Happy Hanukaust!

You claim six million, i wish it were true,

But you're a pack of lying fucking Jews,

A holocaust memorial is built on the land where most of your relatives are buried in the sand,

In bulldozed graves to cover the pollution,

too bad you weren't part of the final solution,

Wearing long sleeves to cover your tattoo,

will never hide the fact that you're a dirty Jew,

Think of all the friends and family you lost...

Happy Hanukaust!

Light the menorah and think of the time when you sold out your neighbors for a handful of dimes,

All those filthy Jews...they must have been pissed,

They couldn't buy their way onto Schindler's list,

Think of all the friends and family you lost...

Happy Hanukaust!

Laughter, the best medicine

  • Q: Why are black Jews sad?
  • A: They have to sit in the back of the oven.


  • Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
  • A: A pizza doesn't scream when it is put in an oven.


  • Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
  • A: About $5.95.


  • Q: How many Jews can you get in a Volkswagen Beetle?
  • A: 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 74 in the ashtray.


  • Q: What's the difference between a ton of coal and a thousand Jews?
  • A: Jews burn longer.


  • Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave?
  • A: It's got 20 seats inside.


  • Q: Why does the Holocaust get a B?
  • A: Incomplete!



  • Q: Why do Jewish people smell so terrible?
  • A: They're still afraid of the showers!


  • Q: Why did so many Jews die in Auschwitz?
  • A: The fare was free.


  • Q: How do you know when Jews have moved in next door?
  • A: There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline.


  • Q: What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts?
  • A: Boy scouts come back from their camps.


  • Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
  • A: Free pork.


  • Q: What's faster than a speeding bullet?
  • A: A Jew with a coupon.


  • Q: How was copper wiring invented?
  • A: 2 Jews fighting over a penny.


  • Q: Why doesn't Germany have the death penalty?
  • A: They already used up their quota.

The Holocaust, Remembered

In an intriguing twist of irony, for some Jews the Holocaust proved a considerable source of pr0fit.

Take the Pulitzer winning Maus, for instance. Using storybook cartoon art styles and portraying people as animals, it is considered by many to be an epic achievement in the sequential narrative. The Maus graphic novels describe in vivid detail the trials and tribulations of a Holocaust survivor -- and his son's present-day struggle with his sense of identity.

Eli Wiesel, the great Nazi hunter and death camp survivor, often teaches about how important it is to remember the Holocaust, making books and speaking about the horrors of the Holocaust for the standart fee of 25,000$ US, plus chauffeured limousine.

Of course, they're also largely responsible for kicking off the furry craze.

See also:

A tale of anti-semitism, or fursecution?

Elie Wiesel has made lots of jew gold by telling his story to any stupid white people who will listen to him. His jew gold was eventually stolen by Bernie Madoff.


The Holocaust, Drama or Opportunity? you decide

Besides all the whinning BS on one side and denial BS on the other, what concerns rational humans the most is why did the state took so much trouble to exterminate the Übermenschen when so many resources were needed in the east. Simple answer: under a Corporativist government people can be turned into shields, pretty much like when you create and disband lots of workers to zerg rush a more powerful unit in Civ 3 (because the other versions suck). Therefore, after a slave worker died, the corpse was utilized with German efficiency and Native American tradition, to the last meschling foreskin. Bones made bottons, hair provided an excellent U-boat insulating material, skulls could be shrinked into art, and who can forget those classy human skin lamps? But what really troubles us the most, is the case against Cannibalism: Why were crematoria built to destroy perfectly good cartilage and bones, when hungry slave laborers could have produced a lot more munition with a daily dose of Birkenau BBQ and Jüdenblootwurst? Maybe if the fags at the SS had spent a little more time thinking creatively and less time fucking younger recruits, Germany could have stopped the evil Communists from taking half of Europe and Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopathy would have been discovered earlier saving millions of lives in New Guinea.

Armenian Holocaust

The Armenians had something similar to the Jewocaust before World War I, only instead of Jews there were Armenians, and instead of Nazis there were Turks and instead of not happening it did happen and nobody gave a fuck. Some people think the Armenians had it coming for having so much hair. The Armenian Holocaust is often overlooked because the Jewish Holocaust was much huger and Jews have a far greater bitching capacity which assures nobody will ever be able to go on a ten minute kike-rant without being reminded that we're supposed to be pretending like the Holocaust happened or else Iran is right and we can't have that.

Future Holocaust Plans

Instead of focusing on solely the Jews, The USA wants to control the minority population from overwhelming the white Aryan majority. The niggers will be first and this time, it will be fo' realz niggas.

Joe "Eternal Jew" Lieberman's health care trolling will cause the Great American Holocaust of 2010.

How to make juise

Given the comforts of modern life such as ovens that take longer to break down and dumber jews, it is a pressing concern how so many people don't know how to make a proper batch of juise. This guide is an attempt to fix it.

  1. find a jew.
  2. Cremate him for shits and giggles.
  3. Mix the ashes with water and sugar, or just water if you're on a diet.
  4. ???
  5. No profit except sharing the delectable taste of juise with your family.

Gallery

Video

<iframe src="http://vkontakte.ru/video_ext.php?oid=-807540&id=144610279&hash=c5fdee20ba8149e6" width="607" height="360" frameborder="0"></iframe>

See Also

Although some nations and corporations responsible for the Holocaust have paid reparations to survivors and their descendants, most of these reparations were in the form of free t-shirts.

External links

Holocaust is part of a series on

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Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Holocaust
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Holocaust

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