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Chris Dorner: Difference between revisions
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{{Spoiler| | {{Spoiler|the LAPD is offering [[Jew Gold|$1 million]] for information leading to the capture of Chocolate Rambo and [[Charlie Sheen]] wants to get in touch with the nigger. [[I see what you did there|icwatudidthar]] Sheen}} | ||
{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> | {{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> | ||
<big><b><font color="#0000FF">WARNING!</font></b></big> | <big><b><font color="#0000FF">WARNING!</font></b></big> | ||
This article contains <b>a nigger</b> who is [[bike|probably going to steal your boat]] and use it to escape to Mexico, after killing your family because your dad | This article contains <b>a nigger</b> who is [[bike|probably going to steal your boat]] and use it to escape to Mexico, after killing your family because your dad [[Police|drinks coffee and eats donuts on a regular basis]]. </div>|2=Blacksrelax.jpg|3=150px|4=#FFCC00|5=300px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}} | ||
[[File:Christopher+Dorner.jpg|400px|thumb|right|[[Problem]] L.A.?]] | [[File:Christopher+Dorner.jpg|400px|thumb|right|[[Problem]] L.A.?]] | ||
At the dawn of 2013, a [[nigger]] got really fucking mad and declared [[Fuck Da Police]]. The results were lulzy. It began with | At the dawn of 2013, a [[nigger]] by the name of '''Chris Dorner''' got really fucking mad and declared [[Fuck Da Police]]. The results were lulzy. It began with a [[TL;DR]] [[Anders Behring Breivik|manifesto]] which included a hit list of cops and their families he wanted to kill. But Dorner wasn't any ordinary [[Tumblr|attention seeker]], because unlike [[OP]] he actually managed to deliver. | ||
== The Story == | == The Story == | ||
On the 31st of January, after getting fired from his | On the 31st of January, after getting fired from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to [[Facebook]]. Soon after reading it, the [[moralfags]] on Dorner's friends list got [[butthurt]] and sent it to [[Old Media|CNN]], and the hit list was [[baleeted]]. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD [[nobody cares|didn't care]] and no-one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no [[nigger]] can resist doing ([[irony|even though he used to be a fucking cop]]) - killing cops. | ||
This was no ordinary [[KFC]] robbery or [[bike|bike theft]] | This, however, was no ordinary [[KFC]] robbery or [[bike|bike theft]]. Instead, Dorner decided to [[Gun|pop a cap]] in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a [[nigger|black guy]], knew basketball well enough to know a woman coaching basketball wasn't [[doing it wrong|doing it right]]. The [[bitch]] [[pwnt|was a police captain's daughter]], increasing the [[butthurt]] level many times over. There are reports that after the murder, Dorner tried to escape to [[Mexico|spicland]]. | ||
But this wasn't enough for our [[sweet prince]]. At 1:30am [[ | But this wasn't enough for our [[sweet prince]]. At 1:30am [[Last Thursday]], he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his [[irony|LAPD training]]. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows [http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57568368/christopher-dorner-manhunt-two-innocent-women-shot-by-lapd-officers-had-no-warning/ while the cops sent after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children]. | ||
Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to [[Bel-Air|sit on his throne]] atop Big Bear mountain while the cops [[accidentally|accidentally the whole of L.A.]] When they [[slowpoke|finally]] traced him to the resort, he was long gone, and all that was left was his burning pickup truck. | Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to [[Bel-Air|sit on his throne]] atop Big Bear mountain while the cops [[accidentally|accidentally the whole of L.A.]] When they [[slowpoke|finally]] traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, he was long gone, and all that was left was his burning pickup truck. | ||
Meanwhile the police [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/10/la-1m-reward-christopher-dorner-manhunt have offered a one million dollar reward for the capture of our hero because they are too incompetent to track | Meanwhile, the police [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/10/la-1m-reward-christopher-dorner-manhunt have offered a one million dollar reward] for the capture of our [[hero]] because they are too incompetent to track him down themselves. | ||
== The [[Chan]]ifesto == | == The [[Chan]]ifesto == | ||
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== The Black King of /b/ == | == The Black King of /b/ == | ||
Shortly after Chocolate Rambo's [[ | Shortly after Chocolate Rambo's [[Call of Duty|killing spree]], [[b/|/b/]] decided to worship him as their new, and first [[nigger]] king. /b/ most likely did this because he was a better version of [[Anders Behring Breivik|Anders Breivik]] since Dorner was after cops instead of the future generation of [[Liberals|Cultural Marxist]] [[The Man|leaders]]. In addition, Dorner wanted to [[Anonymous|stick it to the man, much like all of those basement dwelling neckbeards]], but unlike those basement-dwelling neckbeards, [[Epic Win|he actually did]]. This resulted in a surge of unoriginal faggotry. | ||
== [[Copypasta]]s == | == [[Copypasta]]s == |
Revision as of 00:43, 11 February 2013
WARNING! This article contains a nigger who is probably going to steal your boat and use it to escape to Mexico, after killing your family because your dad drinks coffee and eats donuts on a regular basis. |
At the dawn of 2013, a nigger by the name of Chris Dorner got really fucking mad and declared Fuck Da Police. The results were lulzy. It began with a TL;DR manifesto which included a hit list of cops and their families he wanted to kill. But Dorner wasn't any ordinary attention seeker, because unlike OP he actually managed to deliver.
The Story
On the 31st of January, after getting fired from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to Facebook. Soon after reading it, the moralfags on Dorner's friends list got butthurt and sent it to CNN, and the hit list was baleeted. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD didn't care and no-one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no nigger can resist doing (even though he used to be a fucking cop) - killing cops.
This, however, was no ordinary KFC robbery or bike theft. Instead, Dorner decided to pop a cap in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a black guy, knew basketball well enough to know a woman coaching basketball wasn't doing it right. The bitch was a police captain's daughter, increasing the butthurt level many times over. There are reports that after the murder, Dorner tried to escape to spicland.
But this wasn't enough for our sweet prince. At 1:30am Last Thursday, he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his LAPD training. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows while the cops sent after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children.
Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to sit on his throne atop Big Bear mountain while the cops accidentally the whole of L.A. When they finally traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, he was long gone, and all that was left was his burning pickup truck.
Meanwhile, the police have offered a one million dollar reward for the capture of our hero because they are too incompetent to track him down themselves.
The Chanifesto
Previous Quote | Next Quote
The Black King of /b/
Shortly after Chocolate Rambo's killing spree, /b/ decided to worship him as their new, and first nigger king. /b/ most likely did this because he was a better version of Anders Breivik since Dorner was after cops instead of the future generation of Cultural Marxist leaders. In addition, Dorner wanted to stick it to the man, much like all of those basement dwelling neckbeards, but unlike those basement-dwelling neckbeards, he actually did. This resulted in a surge of unoriginal faggotry.
Copypastas
Now this is a story all about how the pigs got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute so fucking stay and hear my story of how I became the prince of LA
In South California born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days.
Chilling out maxin' relaxin' all fly, Beating some racist motherfucking guy.
When a couple of cops who were up to no good. Started making trouble in my adulthood.
I got in one little job and then I got fired. Said I'm gonna take you down from the inside.
I whistled for some fags and when they came near. Put a cap in their ass and got my face on the air.
If anything I could say this moment was rare. So I killed a few more cops and fled into Big Bear
I hid at the resort for a couple of days. But I got pretty cunning and left without delay
I looked at the mess I had finally made, and sat on my throne as the prince of L.A.
DUNN DUNN DUNN He wants to be the very best
Like no cop ever was
To kill them all is his real test
To expose them is his cause.
He will travel across L.A
Searching far and wide.
The families are gonna pay
For the conspiracies they hide
CHRIS DORNER
Is gonna kill 'em all.
Who comes next he'll make the call.
CHRIS DORNER
Ohh he'll kill again
for the truth he must defend
CHRIS DORNER
Is serious fucking shit
Say nigger and you'll get hit
He'll chew you up into bits
CHRIS DORNER
He's so fucking bad
He could kill your dad
CHRIS DORNER.
Gallery
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Terminigger 2: Judgement Day
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You thought it was all Hollywood.
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Our hero.
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Sadly his wife divorced him, instead of recording shark week and going back to the kitchen
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Do you believe that's air you are breathing now?
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And fuck bitches!
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Dorner should have followed the aspirations of any other typical nigger and gone down the path not taken, instead of becoming a cop.