James Foley

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"The pen is mightier than the sword..."

...Oh really now?

James Wright Foley was an American journalist formerly employed by the GlobalPost, Agence France-Presse, and Stars and Stripes, who is now posthumously being used as a horror movie prop and a bowling ball.

While stationed in Syria, he was abducted by the US-backed Free Syrian Army terrorist group and handed over to ISIS to become the star of a world famous anti-Obama propaganda video. US commandos tried to rescue Foley, but unfortunately he lost his head before anyone could even shoot him.

Career

Back when he still had a head, Foley worked as a propagandist for the US government, writing for such imperialist and jingoistic shitrags as Stars and Stripes, which openly opines that the spoiled welfare queens and war criminals in the US military aren't getting enough benefits for murdering a million people in Iraq.

Fun fact: He was a famous pro-wrestler in his heyday.

“	The Stars and Stripes used illustrations to communicate ideas, especially those aimed at justifying military goals and encouraging the troops' adherence to the war effort. . . . In many cases, the images selected by the editors would be considered propaganda by today's standards. . . . Besides expressing editorial opinion, cartoons entertained the troops, offering them humorous stories and images that satirized everyday life in the military.	„
— The origins of Stars and Stripes, The US Library of Congress

At the time of his death, he was working for GlobalPost, for whom he wrote many biased classics, such as this one covering US soldiers in Afghanistan:

“	It always amazes me how brave these guys are. But I’m a civilian with no previous military experience. Not only are these guys used to taking fire several times a week, they have leaders – soldiers who have had more than one deployment and performed under many horrific, mind-boggling conditions. One yell or decisive action from such a leader can make all the difference in how the younger soldiers act and ultimately ensure the safety of the entire patrol. (...) I find I often have trouble leaving a unit even if I spend only a week with them. These guys would easily risk their own lives to save mine. They are mostly young kids compared to me, and they share everything from sweets they got from their mom to swapping photos and videos.	„
— James Foley, wondering if he can suck their army dicks now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed

Capture

"Not the time to lose one's head. That's not the way to get ahead in life. It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong. He'll never be the head of a major corporation."

Remember the Free Syrian Army? The American puppet terrorist group trying to overthrow the democratically elected government of Bashar Al-Assad in Syria? The same terrorist group that Obama armed, trained, and sent half a billion dollars to? Guess who they kidnapped? Lol.

“	According to Syrian sources who have worked previously to locate and rescue kidnapped journalists in Syria, American journalist James Foley, who was beheaded by Islamic State in a video the militant group made public on Tuesday, was most likely used by another guerrilla group as a token of allegiance to ISIS. According to those sources, Foley was in the hands of the Dawood Bridgade, a group that was originally aligned with relatively moderate opposition groups such as the Free Syrian Army, but recently pledged allegiance to ISIS.	„
—Whoops!

Statement

Unaired footage leaked from the director's cut.

“	I call on my friends, family, and loved ones to rise up against my real killers, the US government. For what will happen to me is only a result of their complacency and criminality. My message to my beloved parents, save me some dignity, and don't accept some meagre compensation, for my death, from the same people who effectively hit the last nail in my coffin with their recent aerial campaign in Iraq. I call on my brother John, who is a member of the US air force. Think about what you are doing, think about the lives you destroy, including those of your own family. I call on you John, think about who made the decision to bomb Iraq recently and kill those people, whoever they may have been. Think John, who did they really kill? And did they think about me, you, our family when they made that decision? I died that day John, when your colleagues dropped that bomb on those people they signed my death certificate. I wish I had more time. I wish I could have the hope of freedom and seeing my family once again. But that ship has sailed. I guess all in all I wish I wasn't American.	„
— James Foley, admitting his brother deserves it too

Motive

Next time somebody says Foley was an objective journalist, show them this picture.

Like 9/11, 7/7, and just about any Islamic terrorist attack you can think of, this cinematic execution was retaliation for American foreign policy. As the killer himself explains:

“	This is James Wright Foley, an American citizen of your country. As a government you have been at the forefront of aggression towards the Islamic State. You have plotted against us and gone far out of your way to find reasons to interfere in our affairs. Your strikes have cause casualties among Muslims. You’re no longer fighting an insurgency. We are an Islamic army and a state that has been accepted by a large number of Muslims worldwide. So effectively, any aggression toward the Islamic State is an aggression toward Muslims of all walks of life who have accepted the Islamic caliphate as their leadership. So any attempt by you, Obama, to deny Muslims their right of living in safety under the Islamic caliphate will result in the bloodshed of your people.	„
— Captain Obvious, stating the obvious

Beheading

The British killer failed to observe his home country's proper table etiquette by holding the neck-sawing knife in his right hand. We can ascertain from this mistake that he will not be welcome at any high class dinner parties in the near future.

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The Sequel

Halp.

Steven Joel Sotloff, an American journalist kidnapped in Syria in August 2013 who has written for TIME and the Christian Science Monitor, makes a brief cameo appearance at the end of the video. The masked killer, who from this point forward we'll refer to as MC Nigel, implies that the man's life will be spared only if Obama stops bombing the Islamic State.

So in other words, we'll be having another beheading video next week . Stand by with popcorn and peanuts.

MC Nigel shining in an earlier starring role

Quotes

“	The family of beheaded journalist James Foley have revealed they have watched the gruesome video of his sickening execution. The footage of the brutal murder was posted on YouTube by IS fanatics after they killed Mr Foley in cold blood on Tuesday. His father John explained he and his wife had watched the video because “We just needed to know”. When asked if he could forgive those behind the barbaric act he added: “Not today... but as Christians we have to."	„
— Foley's parents, refusing to bury their heads in the sand

See Also

• Terrorist
• Islam
• Defense Industries Organization
• Iraq
• Afghanistan
• Hugh Jidette
• Israel
• ISIS
• United States

External Links

• Watch James Foley get his head chopped off on Liveleak Too hot for Liveleak
• Documenting Reality claims the government shut down their site for hosting the video
• Video currently hosted on Goregrish
• The alleged beheader (L. Jinny) drops some proverbs on the infidels in a 2013 rap collaboration
• Rapper for Anonymous named as possible beheader in Foley video

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Featured article August 26th & 27th, 2014
Preceded by MysteriousMrEnter	James Foley	Succeeded by Kotaku