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OJ Simpson: Difference between revisions
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[[ | :''This article is about some nigger. You may have been looking for [[orange juice]]. | ||
{{Rainbowpyramid|The Juice is Loose!}} | |||
{{spoiler|THE GLOVE DOESN'T FIT. OMG WTF}} | |||
{{spoiler|OJ Died April 10, 2024. Now we'll never know who killed Nicole Brown Simpson}} | |||
[[Image:Nicolesimpsonsmiling.jpg|frame|center|300px|<big><big>and making [[sammich]]es for OJ.</big></big>]] | |||
[[Image:OJ_smiling_his_fat_fucking_ass_off.png|left|thumb| [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG]].]] | |||
[[Image:Oj-simpson.jpg|thumb|Still looking for the "real killers".]] | |||
[[Image:Eugenics-negroid.jpg|thumb|It's plain to see. OJ is a [[Racial profiling|criminal]]]] | |||
[[Image:Rongoldmanpwned.jpg|thumb|First words in the afterlife, "Here's your fucking glasses."]] | |||
[[Image:911awesome.jpg|thumb|<BIG><BIG>'''JUICE DID WTC'''</BIG></BIG>]] | |||
<div style="text-decoration:blink"> | |||
<b>BREAKING NEWS - [[Nigga_stole_my_bike|NIGGER GUILTY OF STEALING BIKE]]</b> <BR> | |||
And [[Over 9000|12]] total charges | |||
</div> | |||
'''O.J. Simpson''' (July 9, 1947 - April 10, 2024) (also known as '''[[semen|The Juice]]''', moar like the JEWice, amirite?) <strike>is</strike> WAS a famous football player who [[dindu nuffin]]. He's best known for bringing the [[cutting|knife]] of [[murder|swift justice]] to his adulterous whore of a [[white]] wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her gay [[BFF]] tennis Jew. When confronted, OJ authored a [[suicide]] note which was apparently done for the [[lulz]] but was perceived [[unfunny|otherwise]] by [[teh]] [[police|fuzz]]. | |||
In court Johnny Cochran ([[Jesus|J.C.]]) saved his [[black]] [[ass]] from [[goatse]]action by [[Bubba]] unless of course he was going to become the new [[Bubba]]. He found that the glove did not fit, so they had to acquit him from the murder charges. | |||
[[BTW]], he's really innocent and is "looking for the real killers." [[Ya rly]]. Apparently, his house doesn't have any mirrors in it because the black person sold them all for crack. Actually, in a civil trial he was found guilty of the wrongful death of Goldman and battery against Goldman and Brown. This means that despite being found not guilty in the criminal case, we can still refer to him as a DIRTY GODDAMN MURDERER. | |||
As a [[typical]] nigger, he seems to be interested in nothing more than [[rape|hooking up]] with white [[women]]. After murdering his old white girlfriend, he hooked up with another one (Christie Prody) and when she cheated on him with the pool boy Janos Gonzalez, OJ went to the guy she cheated with and told him "I will fucking kill you!" and when OJ Simpson says he's going to kill you, you better believe he will kill you. [http://www.nypost.com/seven/09232007/news/nationalnews/o_j__love_fury_is_deja__juice.htm Read news story.] | |||
== Everyday Usage == | |||
* "Innocent as O.J." (translation: guilty as a motherfucker) | |||
* "I'm about to go O.J." (translation: look the fuck out) | |||
OJ Simpson is colored. | |||
[[Image:Pimpson.jpg|thumb|When the search for the real killers consumed OJ's financial resources, he was forced to [[Nigger stole my bike|steal your bike]] for transportation.]] | |||
==Initial Drama== | |||
Mark Fuhrman of the [[The Man|LAPD]] was ultimately [[pwned]], as a result of having referred to blacks as black persons. The jury then played the [[Race Card]], called him a [[n00b]], and acquitted [[teh]] Juice. | |||
{|style="margin: auto;" | |||
|<center> | |||
'''A short video [[Shit nobody cares about | made by YouTube user 'Evaporation's.]]''' | |||
<youtube>gS-q4J4xObs</youtube></center> | |||
|} | |||
[[Black]]s believe he is innocent, because every brotha on the stand is a victim of a hate crime and quite stupid to begin with, [[duh]]. [[purelily|White]]s, on the other hand, believe he is [[Internet_guilty|guilty]], because all minorities have a propensity for committing crime, being [[socialism|Moon-worshiping Satanists]], and all. | |||
=== Murder For Dummies === | |||
[[Image:Oj-simpson.png|thumb]] | |||
OJ Simpson recently [[Troll|announced]] that he did, in fact, kill his wife Nicole and her lover. However his "[[IRL Troll|Murder For Dummies: I Did It, Here's How!"]] was [[trolls remorse|ixnayed]] by [[pimp|publisher]] [[Rupert Murdoch]] after getting himself a new [[goatse|asshole ripped]] by an [[butthurt|angry]] mob. | |||
[http://archive.fo/qDpfF] | |||
However, publisher [[FanFiction.Net|Lifetime Books inc.]] received [https://www.amazon.com/If-I-Did-Confessions-Killer/dp/0825305934 distribution rights] after [[Jews|Goldman's lawyers]] told the judge that they Jew. This decision comes a little late for the sparking of lulz because the book has been available on [[Bittorrent]] since [[last Thursday]]. | |||
To support his addiction to snorting powdered blondes, OJ was then forced to resort to [[IRL trolling]] and tried selling the OJmobile on TV. You can actually still buy OJ's [[ugly|infamous]] black person Bronco, dawg. | |||
{|style="margin: auto;" | |||
|<center>'''OJ Admits He Did It'''</center> | |||
<center><youtube>IKfEtYYqSl4</youtube></center> | |||
|} | |||
==Other Possible Theories== | |||
(''Disclaimer'' In early 2014, it wouldn't come as a surprise to many to find that the OJ case started grabbing national headlines again as the 20th anniversary of the most lulziest soap opera drama evar in American history was nearing. [[No_shit|Shockingly,]] the media was armed and ready at the time to provide all of the juicy details to the public about the trial of America's most beloved sports hero. News articles and television reports were popping up everywhere claiming to have "new evidence" or "exclusive details" to reveal about OJ's guilt or innocence. Unbeknownst to the media, however, their tactics failed miserably as only a small percentage of the population [[nobody|actually gives a shit anymore]]). | |||
* No alternative theory. [[No_shit|OJ did it alone.]] | |||
* Mark Furhman of the LAPD did it and framed OJ. | |||
* OJ DID do it, but with an unknown accomplice named "Charlie" (whom surprisingly OJ NEVER revealed before). | |||
* Ron did it; he attacked Nicole first and then turned the knife on himself once OJ arrived. (WTF?) | |||
* [[I did it for the lulz|He did it for the lulz.]] | |||
* Kato did it and OJ took the fall for him. | |||
* The Goldman family did it and set OJ up for the lulz and the Jewgold. | |||
* A psycho white hillbilly redneck serial killer did it. | |||
* The KKK did it and framed OJ. | |||
* Denise Brown did it. | |||
* OJ's kids did it. | |||
* [[JEWS_DID_WTC|JEWS DID OJ!!!]] | |||
* LAPD did it. | |||
* Nicole's dog did it. | |||
* [[You]] did it, you fuckin' murdering scum! | |||
== Armed Robbery == | |||
[[Image:OJ-simpson gloves.png|thumb|"Bicycle gloves!!! Dammit!!!"]] | |||
[[Image:Oj-simpson-got-awesome.jpg|thumb|Dead Bitches don't know about my acquittal]] | |||
On September 14th, [[2007]], OJ, being the uppity black person he is, decided to play police officer in a "Sting Operation" to steal <s>some [[ebay|sports memorabilia]]</s> a [[nigger stole my bike|bicycle]] from an upstanding white citizen. He claims that he wasn't robbing anyone because it was his <s>stuff</s> bicycle, he was just 'reclaiming' it and, besides, if one of [[losers|his posse]] had a gun [[bullshit|he didn't know about it.]] He apparently didn't realize his sports memorabilia wasn't worth shit after he became a murderer. After realizing he was going to lose the case he decided to plead that it was only for the [[lulz]] and cried like a little bitch. This strategem however, proved to be futile. | |||
Unfortunately for OJ, US law says that even if you were driving the getaway car in an armed (bicycle) robbery, you get the same treatment as the guy with the gun -even if you [[lie|didn't know about it]]. | |||
OJ is expected to sign a book deal covering the bicycle jacking and describing in detail how he did it, that is...if he actually did it. Theoretically, it involves a locked bicycle, a Kryptonite lock and an accomplice with a Bic pen (that OJ didn't know about). | |||
Capt. James Dillon said Friday at a news conference that, because Simpson was involved, police were being extra careful to conduct [[lie|"a thorough, unbiased and competent investigation."]] | |||
Amazingly, the [[not racist|all-white jury]] found OJ guilty of these crimes on 4 October 2008. The verdict was immediately appealed but -nonetheless- OJ was sent back to the can to await sentencing on Dec 4th -a sentence that could be up to <s>15 years</s>life in [[prison]]. | |||
Bonus points were scored by the all-white jury when they delivered the guilty verdict on the 13th anniversary of OJ's acquittal for murdering his wife and her gay friend. | |||
In July of 2017, [https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2017/07/20/o-j-simpson-parole-decision-delayed-until-january/493080001/ OJ was paroled from prison after serving nine years of his sentence]. The Juice is loose once more. | |||
<center><b>IN OTHER NOOZ...</b></center> | |||
Fwed Goldman, the sperm donor daddy of Rawn Goldman, [[All Your Base Are Belong To Us|(and rapist of OJ's bank accounts,)]] met news cameras outside the courthouse immediately after the December 5th sentencing. He gave a press release...that is he tried to but got severely trolled by a gang of [[☻|niggers.]] At times the news mics could barely filter his voice through the jeers of the hecklers, calling him things like [[Jew Gold|"Gold Digger"]] and the ever-so-insulting Jew @ 0:19 No, srsly, who da fock would ever stand for being called a Hebe? If I were Goldman, I'd sucker punch that ape after throwing a [[Chikins|watermelon]] at him...oh yeah, he is a Jew. | |||
{|style="margin: auto;" | |||
|<center><youtube>vNQQHsV5_Ik</youtube></center><BR> | |||
<center><big><big><big>'''...and nothing of value was lost...'''</big></big></big></center> | |||
|} | |||
==Gallery== | |||
<gallery> | |||
Image:Canned-OJ.png|OJ...in a can...[[derp|geddit]]? | |||
Image:OJFGS.jpg | |||
Image:Ojlostit.jpg | |||
Image:Ojpalm.jpg|[[facepalm|godfuckingdammit]] | |||
Image:Ojblood.jpg | |||
Image:Ojoj.gif | |||
Image:Nig image10.jpg|[[Wyatt Mann|A. Wyatt Mann]]'s insight into OJ Simpson | |||
File:Psycho kid.gif|OJ Simpson as a child. | |||
File:OJ Simpson.gif | |||
File:OJ Ham.jpg | |||
</gallery> | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[brb, jail]] | |||
*[[Cuckoldry]] | |||
*[[Domestic Violence]] | |||
*[[Exhibitionism]] | |||
*[[H2O]] | |||
*[[I did it for the lulz]] | |||
*[[IRL Troll]] | |||
*[[Murder]] | |||
*[[The Race Card]] | |||
==External Link == | |||
*{{lj|user=ojsimpson}} O.J. Simpson's Journal | |||
*[https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4430119/The_OJ_Simpson_Book-_If_I_Did_It_.pdf Get your own copy of <strike>O.J.'s</strike> Fred Goldman's new book '''''Confessions of a Double Murderer'''''.] | |||
*[http://archive.fo/sbCoI You can donate money to OJ's defense fund here!] Really, you can. [[Retards|All people of good conscience]] can contribute; in return, OJ will [[rape|pray for]] you and [[murder|warmly think of]] you. | |||
{{Nigger}} | |||
[[Category: People|Simpson, OJ]] | |||
[[Category:IRL Shit]] | |||
[[Category:Crime]] | |||
[[Category:2006]] | |||
[[Category:2008]] | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article June 30 & July 1, [[2013]]|[[Buttsecks]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Russia]]}} | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article February 1 & 2, [[2019]]|[[Birdie]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Linda Carty]]}} | |||
{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] April 12, 13 &14, [[2024]]|[[Incel]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[War]]}} |
Revision as of 13:17, 20 August 2024
- This article is about some nigger. You may have been looking for orange juice.
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
The Juice is Loose!
BREAKING NEWS - NIGGER GUILTY OF STEALING BIKE
And 12 total charges
O.J. Simpson (July 9, 1947 - April 10, 2024) (also known as The Juice, moar like the JEWice, amirite?) is WAS a famous football player who dindu nuffin. He's best known for bringing the knife of swift justice to his adulterous whore of a white wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her gay BFF tennis Jew. When confronted, OJ authored a suicide note which was apparently done for the lulz but was perceived otherwise by teh fuzz.
In court Johnny Cochran (J.C.) saved his black ass from goatseaction by Bubba unless of course he was going to become the new Bubba. He found that the glove did not fit, so they had to acquit him from the murder charges.
BTW, he's really innocent and is "looking for the real killers." Ya rly. Apparently, his house doesn't have any mirrors in it because the black person sold them all for crack. Actually, in a civil trial he was found guilty of the wrongful death of Goldman and battery against Goldman and Brown. This means that despite being found not guilty in the criminal case, we can still refer to him as a DIRTY GODDAMN MURDERER.
As a typical nigger, he seems to be interested in nothing more than hooking up with white women. After murdering his old white girlfriend, he hooked up with another one (Christie Prody) and when she cheated on him with the pool boy Janos Gonzalez, OJ went to the guy she cheated with and told him "I will fucking kill you!" and when OJ Simpson says he's going to kill you, you better believe he will kill you. Read news story.
Everyday Usage
- "Innocent as O.J." (translation: guilty as a motherfucker)
- "I'm about to go O.J." (translation: look the fuck out)
OJ Simpson is colored.
Initial Drama
Mark Fuhrman of the LAPD was ultimately pwned, as a result of having referred to blacks as black persons. The jury then played the Race Card, called him a n00b, and acquitted teh Juice.
A short video made by YouTube user 'Evaporation's. |
Blacks believe he is innocent, because every brotha on the stand is a victim of a hate crime and quite stupid to begin with, duh. Whites, on the other hand, believe he is guilty, because all minorities have a propensity for committing crime, being Moon-worshiping Satanists, and all.
Murder For Dummies
OJ Simpson recently announced that he did, in fact, kill his wife Nicole and her lover. However his "Murder For Dummies: I Did It, Here's How!" was ixnayed by publisher Rupert Murdoch after getting himself a new asshole ripped by an angry mob. [1]
However, publisher Lifetime Books inc. received distribution rights after Goldman's lawyers told the judge that they Jew. This decision comes a little late for the sparking of lulz because the book has been available on Bittorrent since last Thursday.
To support his addiction to snorting powdered blondes, OJ was then forced to resort to IRL trolling and tried selling the OJmobile on TV. You can actually still buy OJ's infamous black person Bronco, dawg.
Other Possible Theories
(Disclaimer In early 2014, it wouldn't come as a surprise to many to find that the OJ case started grabbing national headlines again as the 20th anniversary of the most lulziest soap opera drama evar in American history was nearing. Shockingly, the media was armed and ready at the time to provide all of the juicy details to the public about the trial of America's most beloved sports hero. News articles and television reports were popping up everywhere claiming to have "new evidence" or "exclusive details" to reveal about OJ's guilt or innocence. Unbeknownst to the media, however, their tactics failed miserably as only a small percentage of the population actually gives a shit anymore).
- No alternative theory. OJ did it alone.
- Mark Furhman of the LAPD did it and framed OJ.
- OJ DID do it, but with an unknown accomplice named "Charlie" (whom surprisingly OJ NEVER revealed before).
- Ron did it; he attacked Nicole first and then turned the knife on himself once OJ arrived. (WTF?)
- He did it for the lulz.
- Kato did it and OJ took the fall for him.
- The Goldman family did it and set OJ up for the lulz and the Jewgold.
- A psycho white hillbilly redneck serial killer did it.
- The KKK did it and framed OJ.
- Denise Brown did it.
- OJ's kids did it.
- JEWS DID OJ!!!
- LAPD did it.
- Nicole's dog did it.
- You did it, you fuckin' murdering scum!
Armed Robbery
On September 14th, 2007, OJ, being the uppity black person he is, decided to play police officer in a "Sting Operation" to steal some sports memorabilia a bicycle from an upstanding white citizen. He claims that he wasn't robbing anyone because it was his stuff bicycle, he was just 'reclaiming' it and, besides, if one of his posse had a gun he didn't know about it. He apparently didn't realize his sports memorabilia wasn't worth shit after he became a murderer. After realizing he was going to lose the case he decided to plead that it was only for the lulz and cried like a little bitch. This strategem however, proved to be futile.
Unfortunately for OJ, US law says that even if you were driving the getaway car in an armed (bicycle) robbery, you get the same treatment as the guy with the gun -even if you didn't know about it.
OJ is expected to sign a book deal covering the bicycle jacking and describing in detail how he did it, that is...if he actually did it. Theoretically, it involves a locked bicycle, a Kryptonite lock and an accomplice with a Bic pen (that OJ didn't know about).
Capt. James Dillon said Friday at a news conference that, because Simpson was involved, police were being extra careful to conduct "a thorough, unbiased and competent investigation."
Amazingly, the all-white jury found OJ guilty of these crimes on 4 October 2008. The verdict was immediately appealed but -nonetheless- OJ was sent back to the can to await sentencing on Dec 4th -a sentence that could be up to 15 yearslife in prison.
Bonus points were scored by the all-white jury when they delivered the guilty verdict on the 13th anniversary of OJ's acquittal for murdering his wife and her gay friend.
In July of 2017, OJ was paroled from prison after serving nine years of his sentence. The Juice is loose once more.
Fwed Goldman, the sperm donor daddy of Rawn Goldman, (and rapist of OJ's bank accounts,) met news cameras outside the courthouse immediately after the December 5th sentencing. He gave a press release...that is he tried to but got severely trolled by a gang of niggers. At times the news mics could barely filter his voice through the jeers of the hecklers, calling him things like "Gold Digger" and the ever-so-insulting Jew @ 0:19 No, srsly, who da fock would ever stand for being called a Hebe? If I were Goldman, I'd sucker punch that ape after throwing a watermelon at him...oh yeah, he is a Jew.
Gallery
-
OJ...in a can...geddit?
-
A. Wyatt Mann's insight into OJ Simpson
-
OJ Simpson as a child.
See Also
- brb, jail
- Cuckoldry
- Domestic Violence
- Exhibitionism
- H2O
- I did it for the lulz
- IRL Troll
- Murder
- The Race Card
External Link
- ojsimpson O.J. Simpson's Journal
- Get your own copy of
O.J.'sFred Goldman's new book Confessions of a Double Murderer. - You can donate money to OJ's defense fund here! Really, you can. All people of good conscience can contribute; in return, OJ will pray for you and warmly think of you.
Featured article June 30 & July 1, 2013 | ||
Preceded by Buttsecks |
OJ Simpson | Succeeded by Russia |
Featured article February 1 & 2, 2019 | ||
Preceded by Birdie |
OJ Simpson | Succeeded by Linda Carty |
Featured Article April 12, 13 &14, 2024 | ||
Preceded by Incel |
OJ Simpson | Succeeded by War |