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Negress

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Negress DNA is only 49% human. DO NOT APPROACH

See Also: Shaneequa

Do NOT make eye contact.
lol she's really lying
"I now pronounce you man and wife." (The one on the right is the male)

The Negress (Nigerius obnoxious), also known also as Shaniqua, is an extremely dangerous and territorial female subspecies of the Simia africanus. Black chicks can be spotted roaming in feral packs, while repetitively producing loud ear-piercing screeches that can cause irreparable damage to the middle ear. The Negress can easily be differentiated from the male Nigger due to their enormous size. The Nigerius obnoxious is well known among anthropologists for their remarkable fertility and insatiable desire to mate. Due to these instincts, the Negress is constantly in pursuit of a mate to impregnate them to produce as many niglets as possible and proportionately increase their welfare benefits.

Diet

This black chick's ass feasts upon a helpless thong
She gots the biggest tits in town

Black chicks subsist entirely on food of the fried, fast, and snack variety. Due to their voracious hunger and select diet, most of them are significantly overweight. They are not ashamed of obesity and will often flaunt it by wearing tight, skimpy clothing. Seeing a fat black chick naked, or partially naked can cause the victim to vomit and pass out for as long as a week depending on how ugly said black chick is. They are known to possess large posterior regions, which have evolved to meet the evolutionary demand for increased drug storage capacity and the nigger breeding preference for "a bitch wit sum azz."

Anatomy and physiology

All negresses have repulsively smelly vaginas that look, resemble, and have the scent of spoiled roast beef that has been left in a refrigerator for too long. Note to Non-black males who fancy fucking these black females, remember to clean yourselves up afterward to decrease the risks of rabies or AIDS.

Habitats

Black bitches always roam in packs and are known to regularly visit movie theaters, restaurants, nightclubs, and other venues. In public places, especially movie theaters, they will perform their loud, gossiping mating calls, which will disturb others and often lead to violent encounters. One thing you should always avoid is trying to discuss or argue with a black bitch because chances are she'll go apeshit and cuss you out while getting her violent Nigga friends to beat you senseless; no wonder why they say that black women are labeled "Bipolar."

Because of their size, their packs can take up a whole hallway at a mall or any other public place. To avoid this, throw a fried chicken leg off to the side of the hall. Even the best of friends will fight over it. (WARNING: Do not let them see the fried chicken before you throw it, or you will be crushed)

Sexual Behavior

Like their male counterparts, black chicks rape white men by using their gorilla-sized paws to trap the blood in their penis and give them forced erections.
Niggers sure do love watermelon
Much like the TARDIS, black chicks are bigger on the inside ...
Cosplaying nigger in denial

Black chicks are blissfully unaware that everyone, including black men, find them physically repulsive. However, because black men will stick their cocks in anything warm and sticky, including black chicks, they have a tendency to be promiscuous and 98.3% of all black babies are born to unwed teenage mothers. The remaining percentage are born to unwed preteen mothers.

On the Internets

Many black chicks have learned how to operate computers, and some even figured out how to create Facebook pages for themselves. Do not, under any circumstances, view a black chick's Facebook, as they often post skimpy pictures of themselves which, along with the bad selection of music that autoplays, can cause permanent sensory damage to the eyes and ears. A big sign you have a black chick in your midst is she ends signs every comment with SMH or SMDH.

Some of them also run ED.

Combat

Black chicks are ferocious fighters. They will leap at their victims, pulling hair, and thrashing with their sharp talons. The sheer weight of their asses is enough to crush the bones of a grown man's leg. Do not attempt to fight them.

Socialization

A typical black girl, photographed in the wild in her natural habitat

Although in some rare cases it is possible to find a black chick who is nearly fluent in English, they by and large prefer to communicate in their native language. Black chicks are very social and often play games with each other such as:

  • "Oh No You Di'int" in which players attempt to speak louder than the competitors. The loudest voice wins the argument.
  • "Who My Baby Daddy" in which the pregnant black chick and her friends analyze factors such as income, stability, and gullibility to choose which of several men she slept with in the past 2 months will be paying her child support.
  • "Step Off Mah Man Ho" is a physical sport where two or more contestants attempt to strip each other of fake hair, nails clothing, and jewelry. The one who keeps most of her enhancements (and therefore reveals the least amount of natural ugliness) "wins" the man, although he continues to sleep with them all anyway.

The black chick is a pack animal and rarely travels anywhere without her "girls" and screaming, ill-behaved children. Common destinations include Church's Chicken, Beauty Supply Stores, Hair/Nail Salons, and, for the older generation of Nigra women born before the race split off from the human species, church.

Typical Black Chick Socializing


 
 
Hot.
 

 

Birth Process

Nigra women have captured their prey and are eating him alive

Since niggers have been proven to be one of the missing links to the human evolutionary chart and therefore are not humans they have a rather different yet similar birth process. Whenever a young negro finds a local nigra(usually with a name like Boqui'qui or Tyamonesia), he must act fast. As stated, nigras are very desperate animals and feed off of cum, so it comes to no surprise that they can be impregnated so soon and quickly. Once the male nigger implanted his purple flavored seeds, he must make a quick getaway to avoid paying for childcare. To normal human women, they usually do not give birth to a child until their twenties or even thirties. However, to normal black chicks they start giving birth as soon as they turn 12.

Once they are pregnant, they return to their comfort zone which is inside a rat-infested bathroom somewhere located in the ghetto. It is a well-known fact that all black women take about 9-months to take a shit. The reason for this is because all the food stored in their stomachs(which mainly consist of fried chicken and watermelons) has caused her bloat(which explains why most of them are fat) combined with sperm has caused them to form a gigantic piece of feces. Because negresses are born without a human vagina, the only way to release the niglet from the womb is through the nigger's asshole. The baby is then infused with the color and stench of feces, which remains present for their entire lives. Once the nine-month trial is over, they will then flush the toilet which will inevitably cause the toilet to flood. There, it will discover that the traces of poo she had left is now a living creature and must care for it.

Or they could always throw it in the trash can and let it die and rot so the vultures can feed off of it. In doing this, nigras will save themselves the trouble of needing to worry about a creature/pet that they won't take care of anyways. Additionally, black women will save the entire world the trouble of another nigger robbing the liquor store for some 40 oz malt liquor.

Relationships with other Nigras

Due to their extreme hostility, disturbing anatomy, and resemblance to god's mistake the hippo, black males are usually disgusted by their female counterparts and overwhelmingly prefer white wiminz, who are universally accepted as perfect in every way. Black men claim to have a love for their "sisters" (blacks like to pretend they are one big family since they tend not to have a real one), despite the fact that they will cheat on them and desert them at the drop of a hat, which is keeping with the niggers code of honor, which goes thusly:

   
 
Dis nigga swearz he aint gon cheat or leave his girl,

unless it's to rape a white bitch, or if I iz offured a wallamellon, or some sunkist, or rims. I would do anything for some muthafuckin ribs right now, ya'll...
 


 
 

—-Bill Cosby, 'The Niggers Code of Honor'


Relations with men of other races

White men and Azn men show little interest in the colored ape known as the black girl. This is likely due to the fact that both races of men prefer their women to be attractive, petite, literate, not addicted to drugs, and free of HIV, none of which the black girl can legitimately claim to be. White men, however, have for hundreds of years made a sporting hobby out of impregnating poor, ignorant (and often enslaved) black women, creating half breeds just for the lulz. This is evidenced by the occasional beautiful black woman, as well as the anomalous "intelligent" nigger who wears a suit, speaks English, and possesses basic cognitive skills- traits that normally would be impossible for a black to possess without white or AZN genes. (See Barack Obama)


Latino men, in their never-ending pursuit to be better at being a nigger than actual niggers, love black women. This is not so unusual, however, as Latin women have much in common with niggeresses that would explain the common gardener's attraction to them. Being overweight, unemployed, frequently pregnant, toothless, drunk, heavily scarred, loud, rude, uneducated, promiscuous, diseased, ugly, lazy, stinky, and having fat asses with which to take disgusting dumps are traits that both breeds of woman share.

Arabs, as they are with all women, are repulsed by black girls, because they are Hella gay bro.

Similarity to Hippos

The Venus Nigra Trap, digesting its last victim
This nightmarish apparition is officially the hottest "woman" in Ivory Coast
The only valid reason to let a negress enter your home

Black women are noted for being nearly identical to the hippo, which is also obese, black, toothless, angry and dumb. Together, the negress and the hippo comprise the two biggest dangers one faces in Africa: being eaten by a hippo or catching AIDS from a nigger girl.

Some of the noted similarities between the black chick and the hippo:

  • Rude
  • Work as receptionists
  • Stink even after being in water all day
  • Treated as game by white men
  • DO NOT WANT
  • Have problems with locomotion over land.
  • Tusks
  • God is ashamed to have created them
  • Black men will fuck it if there are no white wiminz to rape
  • Beat their children
  • Take ENORMOUS dumps all over the place
  • Tip over kayaks
  • Look hilarious when wearing human clothes and makeup
  • Appear in rap videos
  • Both are the two least feminine creatures on Earth
  • Bad genes
  • Breath stinks
  • ????
  • NO PROFIT!

Opposing Views

Hawt black women.

Because every group of people deserves a little blurb of positivity. So despite what was previously described here (and what many bitter disgruntled men of the black race will tell you (see lie) black females receive higher education than black males, who are more likely to end up in jail than college. Black women date inter-racially in fewer numbers than their male counterparts often either due to racial loyalty or the stigma of slavery rape. The times you do see a black woman accompanied by a white male they are often attractive, physically fit, and educated. On the other hand, overweight white women are more likely to be the kind of women you will see accompanied by black men, who often have a look on their face as if they hit the jackpot with a white wimmen (often referred to as 'pawgs' phat ass white girls) on their arms. However, there are double standard among Black women dating White men for Black males.

Noteworthy White Males Who Have Dated or Married Black Women

  • Prince Albert of Monaco
  • Gabriel Aubrey
  • Vic Damone
  • Roland Betts
  • David Bowie
  • Gerard Butler
  • Eric Clapton
  • George Clooney
  • Ted Danson
  • Bill De Blasio
  • Robert De Niro
  • Johnny Depp
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • Bob Dylan
  • Roger Ebert
  • Boris Becker
  • Robert Pattinson
  • Cary Elwes
  • Mick Jagger
  • George Lucas
  • Olivier Martinez
  • Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein
  • Peter Norton
  • Sean Penn
  • Brad Pitt
  • Iggy Pop
  • Wolfgang Puck
  • Matt Stone
  • Robin Thicke
  • Donnie Wahlberg
  • Prince Harry

Non-Noteworthy White Males Who Have Mingled With Black Women

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Missing links

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
Negress is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Places

AfricaAntigua and BarbudaAtlantaDead Nigger StorageDetroitE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelHoustonKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMontenegroMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonSierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTATransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

2Pac345rv5Aaron AlexisAbner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro-chanAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAl SharptonAlison FloydAlvin GreeneAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86AnimatedJamesAntoine DodsonAxel Muganwa RudakubanaBags of MoneyBANGSBarack Hussein ObamaBarry BondsBernie MacBeyoncé KnowlesBill ClintonBill CosbyBlack DiligentBLACK_MANBlack PantherBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlackwashingBlue-SixBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsBreonna TaylorBryce WilliamsBubbaC-NOTECanibusCandyJunkieCardi BCarltonCasey BrezikCaster SemenyaCharles RamseyCharlie Check'mCheyenne CherryChina GuyChris BrownChris DornerClay ClaymoreCobanermani456ComedyShortsGamerCondoleezza RiceCosmo SetepenraCRoadwarriorCulexorCynthia McKinneyCyntoia BrownDaBabyDangermanDarrell BrooksDave ChappelleDavid Wu-KapauwDcigsDead nigger babyDeborrah CooperDemcadDeWayne CraddockDJBPlaythroughsDr. Laura SchlessniggerDramasetterEDP445EtikaFat Larry's BandFCU777Frank JamesFresh PrinceFreddie GrayFuture the rapperG-ZayGary ColemanGazi KodzoGeneral Butt NakedGeorge FloydH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsaac HayesIShowSpeedIsmaaiyl BrinsleyJadaJaden SmithJames WatsonJay BundyJena SixJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJinuSenpaiJkidJordan NeelyJoseph KonyJussie SmollettKamala HarrisKamala Harris (prostitute)Kanye WestKerney ThomasKingMasterReviewKobe BryantKorryn GainesKSILatarian MiltonLee RigbyLiam MangoLil BLinda CartyLoud NigraLowti3rgodM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMarcellus WilliamsMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Martin SsempaMarvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMaxine WatersMC RideMeek MillMicah DawsonMicah JohnsonMichael AregaMichael JacksonMike TysonMikese MorseMintahMiss LandmineMonica FosterMr.A.T.AndreiThomasMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNelson MandelaNicki MinajNigger PigNocturnus LibertusNtokozo QwabeRick RossOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOliver HartOmarosaOprah WinfreyOrlando HarrisP DiddyProfessor KuhtoonsPurple AkiQueen KongR. KellyRachel DolezalRaven WilliamsReverend XRick JamesRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRosa ParksRoyce da 5'9"RucasRudy EugeneSandro L JeanSapphyDracasesSenator Barack Hussein ObamaShaun KingSheneequaSonicfoxSonicStrifeSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSteve StephensSubToDavidlandSweet BrownT-PainTacgnolTarisai VusheTariq NasheedTawana BrawleyTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThatKidDouglasThe Black SentinelThe Booty WarriorThe Central Park FiveThe CrackheadThe Online GamerThe TrashmanTheAdviseShowTherese Patricia OkoumouTheSuperRobotSoujaOGTiger WoodsTommy SotomayorTony EvereadyTony48219Tookie WilliamsTrayvon MartinTrevor NoahTwomadTyler LumarTyra BanksTyra PattersonUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDVerbal AseViperWaluigis-girlWill SmithWilliam UnekWrong Location NiggerXiao-Feng-FuryXXXTentacionYasukeZwarte Piet

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBrraa pap pap papBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWHOOYou'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUGrand Theft Auto: San AndreasHypebeastJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPolice AbolitionPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatStreet takeoverSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWill Smith slaps Chris RockWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)Vintage Black Americana

Present

ADOSAIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaISWAPKwanzaaNAACPP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznBuck BreakersCopsChimpmaniaDon ImusDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManGraykatIlluminatiJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKu Klux KlanKramerMoonmanPayton GendronPopobawaPermit PattyRacismRay TensingRyan PalmeterShitskin PlantationSpicsStormfrontThe BLM KillerTotal Nigger DeathWWhite people