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Will Smith
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BANHAMMERED FROM THE OSCARS FOR 10 YEARS FOR SLAPPING CHRIS ROCK |
In West Philadelphia, born and raised, Will Smif is an "African American" singer, actor, and former Prince of Bel-Air. He began his career as one of the most hardcore and explicit rappers of all time, until he landed a gig on a hit TV show, and quickly cashed in his street cred for white wiminz and blow. As more and more reruns of Fresh Prince were reposted on American family television networks, he became increasingly marketed towards white audiences, to the point where Al Jolson Eminem could be considered more black. He now spends his time pretending to be a serious actor, despite the fact that you can't even look at him without thinking of the fresh prince.
The Karate Kid Remake
One day, while sitting atop a huge fucking pile of jew gold, Will and his bastard offspring decided that it wasn't enough to be responsible for some of the world's worst films, no, they wanted something more devious to prove to everyone that they are better than you. After initially experimenting with time travel, something they soon realised would cause horrible side effects, they settled for a remake of the Karate Kid. Using his acting background, Will was able to pull some strings and just like that, an abomination was spawned. After replacing the karate kid with a nigger, and karate with kung-fu, Smith was able to rest happy in the knowledge that he had kidnapped, fist-fucked and shat all over the childhoods of the people that made him what he is today.
Scientology
Smith is also a closet $cientologist too afraid to admit to the world his 'religious' views. By saying he admires $cientology but is not a part of the cult he has attempted to make it seem logical and even brilliant.
In 2004 Will donated $20,000 to The Hollywood Education and Literacy Program, a.k.a. Scientology's home-schooling program. Much like the Hitler Youth, this program is designed to bring young blood into the ranks of this cult. He also donated $1 million of his money to start a Scientology private school for the scilons to brainwash his children.
Like a true Christian, he gave crew members of the movie Hancock gift cards for a Scientology personality test at any Church of Scientology center as a wrap present when filming was done (which really wasn't a gift so much as an advertisement, as Scifags already do this kind of shit for free). He could have given them rosary beads, crucifixes or Bibles, but no, it was $cientologist propaganda. Way to be a "Student of all religions," Will!
Commemorative Bel-Air
Now this is a story all about when
My soul got infested by space aliens
And I'd like to take a minute, just lean back and sit
I'll tell you how I came to believe in some really stupid shit.
In a studio in Hollywood, young and brash
On a sitcom is where I made most of my cash
Chillin' out, acting and raking in the green
Making movies and a TV show that everyone's seen
Till a couple stars, they were up to some shit
Got me to read Dianetics and I was diggin' it
I got in one little chat with my man Tom Cruise
He said, "If you get with Scientology you just can't lose!"
I paid for an audit, and when I was read
It said I had all kinds of thetans and engrams in my head
If anything, I could say these guys had no cred
But I thought, "Naw, forget it. I wanna get ahead!"
I pulled up to the Centre about 7 or 8
And I yelled to my friends, "Yo SPs, smell ya later!"
I looked at my e-meter, and it started to beep
To guide me on my path as a new Scifag creep.
2022 Oscars Awards incident
Moar info: Will Smith slaps Chris Rock.
Will Smith decided to further add to the black on black crime epidemic, and subtract from what little credibility he had left, during the 2020 Oscars. Chris Rock decided to clown on Smith's half-wife's alopecia areata by calling her "G.I. Jane" to point out that she basically looks like the T-X without its skin. Smith, caught somewhere between being too stupid to understand the reference and laughing because he didn't want to look butthurt on camera, feigned laughter until Jinzo explained the joke to him. What followed was Smith stumbling on stage to deliver Rock the simultaneously most underwhelming and most over-the-top slap to the face since Titanic and then fleeing back to the audience before Rock could react. It obviously didn't hurt but Chris Rock, being Chris Rock, looked ready to cry anyways and tried to just sort of shamble his way through the rest of the scene wishing he could get some of them sweet civil law bucks without getting sued by Smith's wife. This public attack went viral and, despite Smith winning an Oscar later that night, this is all that will be remembered since the whole planet stopped caring about the Oscars, Will Smith, and Chris Rock at least a decade ago. Following that, the Academy put out a half-assed apology claiming not to condone these actions but without doing anything about it, even though most of the movies nominated have better violence, clearly waiting to see which way the peanut gallery was going to react so they could tailor their response accordingly. Yes, the police were called, but they couldn't figure out how to turn off their body cams so they could beat the shit out of the both of them, and niggers only care about violence against blacks when whitey takes a swing, therefore Smith walked off scot-free. What we did get out of it were a bunch of "original" memes and redraws, and the general public largely turned against Smith on this one, which prompted the Academy to ultimately slap Will Smith themselves... with a 10 year ban from the Oscars. If you ever needed proof that Jada is the only one in that relationship doing any swinging, the only thing Will Smith could accomplish with a swing of his own is getting mocked by the entire planet and a swift conk on the bean with the Banhammer. However, now that a black "man" has been punished for a crime and because these people will explode if they don't minge on about how racist it is for any black to suffer consequences for their actions, people are now naturally screeching that it's somehow racist that he's been banned for this. Because we all know a man receiving an award and absolutely no civil or legal repercussions for assault, battery, issuing threats in front of millions of witnesses, and disrupting an award show that cost $42 million dollars to run is somehow "being treated unfairly because of his race."
Artist Impressions
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An artist's depiction of Smith. -
Another great depiction. -
Will Smith if he were black.
Will on YouTube
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
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likes bacon -
Will Smith acted like a crazy nigra at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday. -
LOL WUT
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Will Smith <3 Hitler -
srsly -
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Could he be yours too? -
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Shit those bricks? -
The same but different -
Will Smith inspired a themed faggot-convention called School's Closed -
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See Also
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
- Woll Smoth
- I Am Legend
- Placentafag
- List of Unconfirmed Celebrity Scientologists
- HOW_CAN_SHE_SLAP?!?
External Links
| Featured article March 26-29, 2022 | ||
| Preceded by The Honkening |
Will Smith | Succeeded by Foodie Beauty |