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Soulja Boy

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Proof positive that even the most mentally retarded niggers can attain high levels of success. Soulja Boy is one of the 37 children Flavor Flav forgot he had. His real name is DeAndre Ramone Way: a seventeen year old rapper of sorts, and without a doubt the dumbest cunt in the hip-hop industry, evar. He is the genius behind that fucktarded song: Crank That that ends every line of every verse by stretching out what some think to be his shitty lyrics. His first, and hopefully last, album Souljaboytellem.com was released on October 2, 2007 and was purchased by millions of MTV addicted teenagers and fags with no taste in real music. Soulja Boy is notorious for having dry, crusty cum on his glasses and oddly enough that cum spells out his stage name.

Early Life

 
What Soulja Boy should be doing instead of writing "music".

Soulja Boy was shat out mentally retarded and deaf by a 12 year old mother named LaTrine. At the age of three, Soulja Boy recognized his ability to say things repeatedly and play the skin flute, earning him serious street cred. It wasn't until the age of five that he began to beat on random surfaces, such as women or desks, and to apply his repetitive and retarded lyrics to these "beats". In kindergarten, during recess, the children would crowd around the picnic table as he would make unnecessary noise and jerk his head to the side as if he had some sort of serious mental handicap.

 
Soulja Boy pre-music fame (rare footage; circa 2006)

Criticism

Unfortunately, an entire handful of losers admire Soulja Boy's "music" (if YOOUUU can call it that), causing him to grow a larger head and a nose that could cause onlookers to mistake him for Pinocchio (or a Nigger Jew). The larger, more intelligent, population of the world despises it. Soulja Boy is the target of much criticism, the majority of which he is described in simple terms, as having shitty music.

 
Typical Soulja Boy fan.

In interviews, Soulja Boy has attempted to dodge his criticism, stating that "Those who enjoy my music do not have a knowledge of what real music quality is" and "My brain can only remember a handful of words so I am only capable of repetitive wording in my lyrics," he also added "YOOUUU!"

LOLOLOLOLOL

In probably the greatest moment of this niggers career, he released yet another song that was pretty gay, but the lyrics caused so much butthurt, there are few videos on YOOOUUUTube with this song that haven't been reported.

Apparently fighting the Welfare Agencies is harder than shooting sandniggers. Nevertheless, this nigger claims he's backed in the number of 400 with guns, watermelon and chikins.

Advice: when YOOUUU encounter a Soulja Boy... FLAG IT, FAGGOT

 

The Lulz of It

As it so happens, Soulja Boy has achieved a degree of popularity amongst Jewtubers as a source of self-gratification and puerile humor. Because he is, on the whole, rather illiterate (and thus inherently funny, if not intentionally so), his hit single "Crank Dat" now has over 9000 parodies on Jewtube, including ones featuring shitty cartoons such as Spongebob and Mexican (moar like Dora the Deporter, amirite?). While they're all the video equivalent of tracing, they do have the redeeming feature of more competent dancing. A few samples...

 
As a child, Soulja Boy teaches Barney and Friends his renowned dance.

Hip-Hop Spokesman Shares His Views

Soulja Boy the Gamer

Unknown to many, Soulja Boy is a highly proficient gamer, having achieved a single lifetime kill in Gaylo after 9000 rounds of playing. This is slightly better than the average 0 as is common for most niggers. In the final round of a GNAA tournament, Soulja Boy triumphed over his fellow ape due to the inability of his opponent to handle pushing buttons. Soulja Boy is known to abuse the simplest attacks, a fact which scientists have attributed to his inferior primal instincts.

In addition, Soulja Boy has attempted to review the beautiful art game Braid, however this attempt came out as mindless drivel, much like Soulja Boy's music, which can be seen in his masterful video review:

Soulja Game console

In an attempt to work hard by doing as little as possible, Soulja Boy announced in December 2018 that he would be releasing his own game console. This came as a surprise, especially after it was revealed that said console was actually a shitty Chinese copy of an Xbox One. After the surprise wore off, later digging confirmed that it also included equally shitty knockoffs of PS2 controllers, probably ran on Linux, and was loaded with likely pirated ROMs of games from all kinds of older consoles. This glorified brick can be found on his website for $200, but you can already find it anywhere else for almost half that.

Soulja Portable

As if his home console wasn't enough to convince you to just buy a normal console from, let's say, Gamestop, Last Thursday he announced that he would be releasing an equally terrible handheld version of the same console, which does the same things, for exactly the same price.

Soulja Fuze

By the time Nintendo comes for him for selling stolen copies of their games, Soulja Boy will have "announced" yet another console. This one differs in that he doesn't even have his name anywhere near it, and that this is a real console sold in China, even going so far as to have its own games. It was designed to compete with the Xbox One and PS4, but fails miserably at both.

RetroBoy Mini

Clearly not understanding that no means no by this point, Soulja announced another handheld which is even worse than the last one. It's basically a shitty copy of a GameBoy, which will make you question why someone would pay $30 for what essentially amounts to a paperweight.

HIS CHATROOM

Since the start of his career Soulja Boy owns a Chat Room where his fans can discuss their opinions about his music. The chatroom has been a favourite place for raids. For moar information about this, see: Soulja Boy Tellem Chat

Trolling: Soulja Boy Himself

 
Notice his name written in the dried semen of the record executive he sucked off to get famous.

As with all typical retards, Soulja Boy has an online personality. Go to his YOOUUUTube account: it has EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. His YOOOUUUTube channel has:

  • his sites, inc. his MySpace, Blog, IM, Chat, etc.
  • his CELL PHONE NUMBER
  • HIS XBOX GAMERTAG (XBox fans, YOOOUUU know what to do, it's Souljaboytellem).

Soulja Boy's Parents

Mother: Carlisa Way
Father: Tracey Jenkins
Street: 226 Van Voris Street
City/state: Batesville, MS 38606
Country: YOOUUUSA
Telephone: (660)864-6128

Soulja Boy vs. Ice-T

HACKED LOL!

 
How YOOUUU can help!

Around the 24th of August 2008, some Azn dude called Ko phished Soulja Boy's MySpace, YOOOUUUTubes and emails, and posted scat porn for all of Soulja Boy's fans to see. Soon enough Soulja Boy regained control and then posted a video calling his personal army to take on the hacker. However this backfired and the internet hate machine sprung into action to defend our great hero Ko and DDoS'ed Soulja Boy's website in the process, putting the uppity fool in his place (27/08/08).

 




   
 
NIGGA DATS RACIST POSTIN "nigger nigger nigger" ALL UP IN MAH CHAT ROOM SOULJABOYTELLEM.COM
 

 
 

   
 
"Niggas sent me a message on MySpace saying I got YOOUUU-r shit, send me $2500 if YOOUUU want it back,"
 

 
 

   
 
Soulja Boy says in the video that he was going to offer a $US10,000 reward to anyone who revealed the hacker's identity but this was unnecessary as he had already caught them.
 

 
 

   
 
"On the next video y'all stay tuned to see what we did with this hacker - we gotta make an example out of this shit."
 

 
 

— Soulja Boy

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Gay Niggers? On MY Internets?

 
Anonymous formally apolagises to Soulja Boy.

On 09/03/2008, footage of Soulja Boy partaking in gay nigger sex was leaked onto the interbutts. Anonymous, being the internet heroes they are, felt it their duty to spread this shocking new to the world.

   
 
"Rumors around the Internet have shown that popular rapper soulja boy is the latest celebrity to spark a sex tape rumor however this sex tape is one of controversy, the sex tape is alleged to be a sex tape of a homosexual nature. DeAndre Cortez Way (born July 28, 1990), better known by his stage name Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, or simply Soulja Boy."
 

 
 

For great justice, YOOOUUU can digg the article here.

YOOOUUU can Google search the sex tape here.

Soulja Boy later admitted to his habits in a YOOOUUUTube video.

   
 
"I be doin' niggas. Real talk. I'm gonna do... uh... YOOUUU see all these niggas in this room right here? I'm gonna do all them niggas."
 

 
 

— Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes

He Don't Learn

Not long after the first, a second tape was discovered. Shock and disgust ensued.

   
 
"I be doin' niggas. Real talk. I'm gonna do... uh... YOOUUU see all these niggas in this room right here? I'm gonna do all them niggas."
 

 
 

— Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes

   
 
"This can't be true, Soulja Boy's the most 'straight up' G out there, know what I'm sayin?"
 

 
 

— tomporker

   
 
"Does the guy doing him yell "Ya bitch ya?""
 

 
 

— Reevefn

   
 
"My kids will never listen to this smut ever again. All he does is call out one sentence repetitively anyway."
 

 
 

— chrispoole1

   
 
"I knew this kid was a ***** with his fake hip hop maybe he took ice T's advice and did eat a dick lol

ive seen it dat ***** disgusting"
 


 
 

— realhiphopfan

   
 
"now watch me crank dat prostate."
 

 
 

— wrongpaul

Thinking About Quitting?



Shitfit on Twitter, mid-2009!

2010: Soulja Boy Rips from Death Note

 
Just as planned.

On May 27, 2010, Sankaku Complex reported that Soulja Boy sampled a theme from Death Note. The song he made is "Long Journey" and he ganked "Near Theme."

Of course, the weeaboos at Sankaku raged hardcore. They made up scenarios of characters from the anime series writing in Soulja Boy's name in a death note so he would get a heart attack. They also threatened to murder him in other ways, and saying things like "Black people stealing things? I never heard of that!" The weeaboos' smug racism and death threats grew. Some of them compared Vocaloid to Soulja Boy, saying how much better Miku was compared to him.

   
 
EVERYONE WITH A DEATH NOTE, WRITE THIS ****ERS NAME DOWN

DeAndre Cortez Way
 


 
 

—PouiuoP

   
 
A crummy rapper ripping off a crummy anime.

Big shock there.

Only this website would care about this
 


 
 

—Anonymous

Maybe Soulja Boy deserves an award for once for trolling the Wapanese into oblivion. Maybe? Definitely.

Weeaboo

Soulja Boy is an obvious weeaboo. In this song he raps about anime. And in this one he raps about Goku.

DeviantArt Account

Right Here - Deactivated

If his excessive love for anime could get any weirder, Soulja Boy blantly told the world that he has a secret deviantart account on his Twitter. As soon as every deviant heard the news, they came in rushing into his account flaming him with tl;dr paragraphs. He basically ignored all the "haters" at deviantart and continues living his fantasy life as a no longer colested weaboo. Although this can also be claimed as a case of epic trolling or a failling movement of gaining a new fanbase.

Lady Rouge - His E-girlfriend
MissESoXclusive - One of the many people who join deviantart to be e-friends with Soulja Boy, and her sister.

See Also

 
Snoop Dogg expresses his dislike for Soulja Boy's "music". Snoop Dogg is not amused. Snoop Dogg is disappoint.

Links


 

Soulja Boy is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

 

Soulja Boy is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

 

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Featured article August 28, 2008
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