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Fellatio
—J. Edgar Hoover - FBI's director |
The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.
It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).
Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.
Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think long and hard on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:
Technique
Explanations on how to get head—written by an expert!
- Get her really drunk
- ????
- Get her to suck your dick!
The Variation, popular with self injury folk:
- While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
- She will at this point bite your penis off.
- Awesome!.
Gay head
Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.
Autofellatio
Moar info: Auto-fellatio.
What you tried every day as a kid. Auto-fellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image[1] of it and info on its feasibility—further proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.
Slang
Fellatio is the medical term—what are kids using on the street?
- Lulzing balls
- Becoming rich and beautiful
- Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking fruit
- Chookling mah playmates (see Didaskalos)
- Drinking from the Garden Hose
- Sucking Sausage
- "Shit was SO cash"
Benefits for Women
Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.
Video
Galleries
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Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3
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Jack (played by Jimmy Kimmel) and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
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A very good bj.
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Dirty bitches love cock.
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This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.
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She tried to deep throat it and split her soft palette.
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Dorian Thorn has sucked ALL the cocks.
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Claudia Thorn maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
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Artist depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
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Lol, TOW.
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Cock sucks
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Dorian Thorn sucks cock daily.
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A handjob is fine too
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Animals do it harder, better, faster, stronger.
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Crack 'head'
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AND she doesn't have any teeth!!
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BLOWJORB
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Cock eyed redefined
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Jew blowjob.
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those lips aren't just for looks.
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Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
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It's like a reverse blowjob, but it kills you.
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That's one pair of horny underpants.
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Hey Ladies!
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Looks like Zangief can't swallow all of that.
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You go girl!
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Complete with squarish cum. See: Gloom
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Climbing the corporate ladder.
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This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
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Fellatio done wrong.
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Bitches love sucking dick
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Eating some dick cheese
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Proper technique
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What to do when the bitch fails it
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A future fellatrix training
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SUCK ME
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Going bananas.
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Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
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Delicious!
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Some are gooier than others.
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Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
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She succ u long time, 5 dorra.
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A more prickly version of the standard blowjob.
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Obvious gay is Obvious.
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Homo-parental family breastfeeding. Not be a caveman
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Ben Stiller's only successful movie
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The few. The proud.
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Stick cock where?
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Textbook example of The Volcano.
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DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
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National pastime of Japan
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Peace, quiet, and blowjobs on tap
See Also
- Woman: Giver of Blowjobs
- You: Someone who'll never receive a blowjob.
- Sex: Like a Blowjob with chance of babies!
- Do You Want To Play With My Balls
- Gay: If a guy is doing this to you
- No Homo: Save against the gay
- Here Comes The Airplane
External Links
- dontspitswallow.com - "Cock suckers united to help you swallow."
- German bathroom blowjob
- Brittany Sixx Blowjob
- try here.cumshot BONUS!
Fellatio is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |