EverQuest II

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT ERROLISI MARR DIES! OVERLORD LUCAN D'LERE WAS KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS!! HE'S BACK THOUGH!!!!1

EverQuest II is the shitty sequel for EverQuest and a furniture-collecting game. It is made by SOE and was released on November 8, 2004, just a couple weeks before World of Warcraft - while WoW soon became the largest hub of basement dwellers, EQ2 still kept on as 2nd place or some shit to MMO neckbeards. Being an MMO, it still harbors a ton of lulz (and faggotry, no kidding) within it. While still staying in the shadow of the better game.

Storyline

500 years after EQ1, ~~the Gods~~ John Smedley got sick of ~~atheists~~ ~~mortals~~ Everquest being the only cash bin. So he decided to create an 'alternate universe' where he first made a couple of wars against niggers and ogres and then created the Shattering. Bunch of shit happened including Earthquake's, meteor's, flood's, tsunami's, and *insert disaster* while somewhere down the line two major cities were left, Qeynos and Freeport. Many of the original cities from EQ1 were annihilated or taken over and infested by robots, zombies, niggers, furries, or juggalos - and the adventurers must plunder each for loot. Oh, and kill dragons. And somehow, a lot of Van Halen references are involved. Oh, and the Goddess of Love dies. But who really cares about the storyline?

Gameplay and Features

The gameplay of EverQuest II started off similar to Dark Age Of Camelot's, but since John Smedley figured out no one gave a shit, he looked to the recent hit title: World Of Warcraft to emulate. A popular tradition among EQ2 veterans is to constantly complain via global chat or the forums that EQ2 is a lot more casual then it was before. Ironically, back at launch, it was just mindless tank and spank plus a couple of stats here and there, compared to the currents days which have about 1000 stats and a god damn surplus of gimmick bosses. There's the combat, which is pretty much like EQ1 or WoW's except with about 500 more buttons to click. In fact, the UI is so fucked that the player has to actually download a whole new UI mod in order to make the game actually playable.

Raids

Like every MMO, the raids in eq2 are extremely boring, except they only consist of 12-24 people instead of 48-1000, because if there is more than 24 people in one zone, the game will fucking rape your face off and melt your PC because the game is very ~~GPU-intensive~~ Single CPU-intenstive due to John Smedley's lack of foresight of multi cpu's. Other than that, raids still cause bitchfights over dropped rings and gems and shit as usual. Along with the typical job oriented day and night shift where if you fucked up or have to attend to something important you'll anger the basement dweller counsel and get kicked out of your guild. Basically, it's like every other MMO ~~after EQ1~~ including EQ1, and nothing special.

Housing

EQ2 also has a housing system that's actually pretty ~~awesome~~ stupid, however acts like a less creepy Second Life. It's also a great trolling tactic if some retard allows you friends only access into their house, because you can put 300 pigs in there and steal the rest of their shit, add a bunch of objects that reduce your fps to 1-5, or go onto the forums to demand that SoE focus on housing then actual game content.

Voice Acting

EverQuest II is also well-known for having A-list celebrities for the NPC's voices, such as Christopher Lee and Heather Graham. How they were able to get them to do this is a mystery, probably by John Smedley bribing them with 3/4's of the development budget. Ironically, finding either voice clip of both actors in EQ2 is near impossible unless you one of those prelaunch small statues in your house, or go to Qeynos or Freeport's Big statue, which comes to the question of why the fuck would they even bother to hire them in the first place. SOE also added voices to player characters with the Desert of Flames expansion. Instead of hiring actual voice talent, SoE went to random bystanders to spoit terrible voice overs. Which are primarily used by roleplayers or trolls.

Pizza

One of the greatest features for the game was the pizza-ordering command implemented ingame in 2005. This caused Blizzard to make a parody called "Panda", where one could order Chinese food ingame. drama erupted in both the EQ2 and WoW communities as the EQ2 community attempted to back up how EQ2 invented fast food delivery. Nobody knows if anyone actually used the "/pizza" command.

Races

EQ2 has too many races, most of them being either exact duplicates or unoriginal D&D misfits.

Good

The good races can start in Kelethin, a not gay place filled with elves and fairies that lags to fuck, or the small and unorginal ice island Halas.

Frogloks - Speaking in Shakespearean dialect, the frogloks are a race of devout paladins and holy warriors that were created when Mithaniel Marr decided to troll everyone in Norrath and make the frogs into anthropomorphic beings. This is the greatest race to be in a MMORPG, period. Everything else sucks.

High Elves - Typical generic fantasy elf, men look extremely gay with 18th century hair styles, while the women are targeted for typical virgin population.

Wood Elves - Bunch of tree hogging elves, only difference from the previous is that they have markings on their face looking like ooga booga tribesmen. Untolerable if you ever hear an npc one with a voice clip. Typical person to play wood elves are fat ugly women or 13 year old boys

Fae - Released in EverQuest II with the Echoes of Faydwer expansion pack. Apparently SoE created them for the purpose of attracting 16 year old girls. These colorful little faggots were fun for a day or two, and everyone who wasn't a Wiccan or homosexual promptly deleted the character. The only good thing about these guys is that they can glide. However, it's not the best idea to do this on a PVP server, because well, once you're hit by an arrow...

Halflings - No one uses this race, it's probably the more irrelevant race in EQ2 other then to appease neckbeard fan service.

Dwarves - Typical Drawves, nothing so special about them other then their attempt to be like Warhammer drawves.

Evil

The evil races start in the underground city, Neriak, or Gorowyn, a city full of mercenaries.

Trolls - The trolls are probably the best race in the game next to the orges. Though retarded, they are a lot more tolerable then the other races out there.

Ogres - Ogres, like Orcs from Warhammer, are the saviors of EQ2 along with the trolls and niggers.

Dark Elves - Probably the only tolerable elf race in the game, you would think a race called Dark Elves would be a typical emotional mary sue. Surprisingly enough, SoE never took in that idea. Dark Elves are probably the most popular in the game which they greatly appeal to the RPfags.

Ratonga - Jewish rats that steal everything from everyone else, speak with Russian accents, and live in the sewers. They're considered cute but who the fuck would think a bloodthirsty, greedy Jew is cute unless you're a furfag?!

Iksars - These lizardmen enjoy starving, tormenting, gassing, and beating their enemies.

Sarnaks - Giant overgrown lizards that tend to look extremely akward when using.

Arasai - SOE, knowing that most straight men would never play as a Fae, attempted to make an evil, badass counterpart. Instead, the Arasai turned out emo. People only play Arasai for the wings (they can glide) and that's really about it. Their wings look like something you'd find on deviantART.

Neutral

These races can start in almost any city.

Humans - Ironically, humans are probably one of the ugliest models in EQ2 next to Barbarians and Half Elves. Pretty much good at nothing but are best at getting around in the city. They are also responsible for forcing every other race into poverty. Female humans are fugly in EQ2.

Erudites - In EQ1, the erudites were incredibly intelligent niggers with dreads. For some reason, they all contracted alopecia, turned gray, and grew glowing tattoos on their bodies within 500 years. This isn't explained, and the lore developers are too lazy to explain this.

Kerra - Easily mistaken for the Vah Shir, the furfag race that became extinct in EQ1. Then the Erudites discovered Kerra Isle, the Erudites took this opportunity to troll the Kerra as much as possible. Unfortunately for the Erudites, they landed in the same ghetto as the Kerra in Freeport. For a while, there used to be an NPC in said ghetto that would cry "RUN FOR THE HILLS!" all the fucking time and everyone would avoid that place until 2006 when the fuckers finally moved his whiny ass to an abandoned place in the Commonlands.

Half Elves - Another shitty elf race, the half elves decided to become non-conformists, just like everybody else! They have hair that would make Final Fantasy characters shocked, and therefore look ridiculous when they have hats on.

Gnomes - Small little jews that were kicked out by their own inventions, so the gnomes made Gnomeland Security, or scattered into one of the cities with attempts at being 'wacky'. Katy plays as one of these because gnomes are obsessed with robots and "DOOOOOOM xD!1" . Gnome and gnome jokes are never funny, but the developers keep thinking it's hilarious, so every new expansion they jam some new retarded quest line into the game having to do with gnomes.

Barbarians - Another ugly modeled race, the Barbarians are known for their terrible accents and typical mentions of things such as beer, incest, and war.

???

Freeblood Vampires - Announced early December of 2010. No, really. What the fuck. Proof here. This is obviously meant to troll Blizzard's Cataclysm with its worgen/werewolves. Yet unlike Blizzard, the amount of modeling for this race is subpar, shit looks terrible and unrefined as fuck.

SoE's desperate attempt at pleasing the weeaboos and koreans

Soga Models

Soga Models - Somewhere down the line, SoE realized most of their original models were complete shit and could be outdone by a bunch of third rate workers. So they outsourced their models over to their Taiwan studio in hopes that it would pull in new subscribers such as weeaboos and koreans. It was found out that this method didn't work, so SoE over time just made the better looking ones into the default models for the races.

Classes

The Fable Beastlord roaming the Commonlands. The EQ2 community has been whining for the past 7 years to bring this class back. Thankfully, SoE is smart enough not to fuck up an already fucked up unbalanced class system.

Most MMOs have classes, and EverQuest II is no exception. However, EQ2 has TOO MANY FUCKING CLASSES, causing everything to be imbalanced at least 100 percent of the time. The developer who works on the classes frequently picks a class out of a hat to nerf (except the assassin.)

Assassins - Loved by the (former) developer Aeralik, Assassins are trendy as fuck to play as, especially on the PvP servers. They're overpowered and dress like ninjas in the later levels. Usually played by 13 year-old boys. Overpowered.

Berserkers - A tank class that's broken as shit. They look like vikings and they wield huge axes while going absolutely batshit on everyone. Everyone who played as one has probably changed to the less-broken guardian.

Brigands - The evil thief class that allows players to gain moar money easily. Usually they end up crippling their foes in combat after they've looted all of their gold.

Bruisers - Evil kung-fu users who have decided that patience and tranquility in martial arts was for faggots and took up street fighting instead. They end up looking like karate guys anyway, except they'd prefer knocking out a few teeth during a sparring match.

Coercers - Enchanters that are evil and like to possess their enemies and use them to fight so they don't take the hits. Excellent for trolling, since you can release aggressive monsters on people and watch them wipe out.

Conjurors - Elemental-summoners that conjure up Earth, fire, wind, water, and heart beings from magic, and are primarily used for DPS. They are not as popular as their evil counterpart, the necromancers, because summoning moving statues and fire snakes is pussy compared to dead things.

Defilers - The evil one of the two classes that can summon a little wolf buddy that can fight along with them. Too bad the wolves are worth shit. Tim Buckley plays this class.

Dirges - An emo bard that plays depressing music and make their foes self-harm. Seriously. That's what they do. They also scream while they sing. For whatever reason they can run really fast.

Furies - A class that can turn into a lion and heals people over time. They are one of the two classes that can make portals, which are another excellent raid trolling tactic - if you click the portal, you're immediately transported to its corresponding area.

Guardians - A tank class that everyone plays. They can take a beating but don't do much in return. Mostly played by 20 year-old men who shout at raids over voicechat, and the occasional loli. They can get hit by a truck and still live.

Illusionists - This good class can create a sockpuppet for themselves and use it in battle, and distract enemies with dazzling flashing lights. In PvP, the dazzling flashing lights has been known to make people complain when they are attacked by an illusionist.

Inquisitors - Pope-hat wearing evil clerics. Nobody expects them.

Monks - Unlike the evil bruiser, a Monk is a spiritual fighter than can make people think they're dead and heal themselves in combat. If there is a video on YouTube of them, it will feature the song "Kung Fu Fighting".

Mystics - A good class that summons ghost dogs and use wards on the tank classes so they don't bitch as much when they eventually take damage. They wear bear hats. Women over the age of 30 like to play as these.

Necromancers - A class that everyone and their dog plays, because it's so metal to summon vampires and liches and spidermen and shit. Many of their attacks include cutting themselves and making enemies vomit all over the place. However, they are incredibly bad at PvP. Who knew?

Paladins - Just like in World of Warcraft: if you don't heal, people get pissed off, even if you state that the paladin is not a healer-type class.

Rangers - A good-aligned class that wields a bow and arrows, and piss everyone else off because their arrows one-shot a monster from far away before anyone could get to it. Too bad, slowpokes.

Shadowknights - Now overpowered with The Shadow Odyssey expansion, the Shadowknight is essentially an evil paladin that tortures and saps the life out of people. Just like WoW's Death Knight, everyone plays one now.

Swashbucklers - Somehow, a pirate is aligned with the good guys. Swashbucklers are flamboyant and wield rapiers. Some of their attacks are even called "Flamboyant Swathe".

Templars - Holy men who beat people with Bibles. They make their enemies succumb to the power of Christ via holy magic and heal people using the power of Mithaniel Marr.

Troubadours - Upbeat, happy bards that can somehow make people stronger with their ridiculous songs. They're not as gay as the Swashbucklers, but dammit, they're close.

Wardens - Similar to the Fury, they use druid-like powers and can create obnoxious portals. They can cure you of your Internet disease.

Warlocks - Often played by teenage boys, the Warlock can make people ill and turn them into frogs. They can also summon demons.

Wizards - See above, except this class does elemental damage, and summons cats instead. Yes, cats.

Adventure Packs

Adventure packs are like mini-expansions that cost like five bucks when they first released, but now come with the game. People bitched about the price and claimed that they were poor - which is retarded because if you could afford a computer that could even run EQ2, you're not poor. Ironically, years later, the same community welcomed the typical mmo microtransaction scheme with $25 mounts. How they accepted this, yet got upset about 5 years ago over $5 dungeon content is beyond me.

The Bloodline Chronicles

Nobody played or liked this one, and those who did were roleplayers and should be castrated immediately.

The Splitpaw Saga

Another Adventure pack no one played after the first two weeks. Only thing worth while the solo quest that allowed you to gain xp faster. SoE finally figured it out months later and patched it. Typical quests involve going through long bland caves in order to achieve a five hour-long quests that involve lighting torches and fighting their pit champion. Hope you like the same drumming music over and over.

The Fallen Dynasty

Originally created by SoE's Taiwan Studio, this Adventure Pack is well known for its chinese farmer models. Whenever SoE feels too lazy to make new models, they'll randomly stick these Chinese peasents everywhere. Especially the child model, which can be located in Estate Of Unrest baby crib or during an event of the parody Christmas Carol during Frostfell. This is probably SoE giving a hint that their products are just as cheap as a product from China. Due to fucktardedness, a lot of the characters have Japanese names. Other then that, no one uses this content anymore, ever, unless you're a tradeskiller that is who's cashing in on daily quests in the local town.

Expansions

The expansions of EverQuest II are similar to the first game's: full of the most ridiculous fantasy-based crap and there's a lot of them, especially considering that the game's only been around since 2004. Like Sakurai, SOE likes to do this weird balance/unbalance thing every time. The plots for each make less sense than WoW's and prove that this game is made by drugged-up faggots from SoCal. Is it also known, that every single expansion is based off of EQ1 content and lore, so SoE doesn't need to try hard when it comes to being creative with this shit.

Desert of Flames

The first actual expansion, released right after September 11, which is pretty hilarious considering the Arab-theme of it. There's even two adjacent oases called the Twin Tears. This expansion was well known for being incomplete and broken as fuck with a level tier (51-60) being completely void of actual good content for years. It was instantly succeeded by Kindgom of Sky 5 months later because SoE didn't figured out people didn't like that shit of having 5 months to beat broken content.

Kingdom of Sky

The second expansion involves floating islands from the creative bargain bin . People can travel across these islands from floating clouds to fight vulture, dragon, and eagle men but ~~the real lulz lies with the Hooluk race - a clan of owl men named after obvious memes~~ SoE also discovered unfunny internet humor during this time period that they used for their new aviak owlmen. This expansion is the most popular because of its decent raid content, and since basement dwellers love raiding...

Echoes of Faydwer

Somewhere during production, SoE finally got the hint people didn't like expansions lasting only 5 months, so they took 9 months to create their next one. Which was probably the most blighted mary sue expansion to ever come out, SoE decided to bring back Faydwer and sprinkle it with pussyshit in an effort to keep their female subscribers. Of course, like any grinding expansion pack, shit was taken over such as Robots taking the gnome city of Ak'anon and turned it into "Klak'anon" (very original), furries invaded the dwarf city Kaladim, and orcs terrorize the Fae in Kelethin. Oh, i mentioned the Fae right? Yes, SoE decided to release the Fae to fag things up even more. Everyone played as one for maybe two days before deleting the characters because no straight man would be caught playing as a glittery little faggot unless you're a [16 year old girl]].

Rise of Kunark

SoE finally created an original monster, but this didn't stop fans from complaining that it isn't fantasy based. But a giant penis monster? A-ok.

Finally aware that their fanbase just wanted rehashed content from EQ1. The developers decided to take one of the most popular EQ1 expansions "Ruins of Kunark" and remake it as "Rise of Kunark. You see the originality in that? Like EQ1's Ruins of Kunark, this expansion is filled with familiar faces such as lizard people, Frog people, dragons, and a different type of lizard people. Everything in this expansions is pretty much the same as what it was in Ruins of Kunark, except unlike that expansion, all the zones in this one aren't bland miles on end low ressed textured floors and they actually have variety. The storyline involves something similar to EQ1's lore. Iskar make a giant army, want to battle dragons, dragons have shiny stone that will kill everything, hero must beat dragons and iskar and get the stone that gives the person unlimited power. Rise of Kunark also introduces the Yha-lei, a race of fish men that worship a giant penis monster that lives in boiling hot green shit. 90% of this expansion is solo content. A lot of EQ2 fans whined about this religiously back in 2007 and compared it to the World of Warcraft. Yet they forgot that most overland zones with heroic content were ignored constantly in favor of shit like instances or contested dungeon.

The Shadow Odyssey

This expansion was supposed to suck, but surprised fans as they learned that it actually was like goth Metroid on crack. The "plot" got even moar fucked up because players basically become vampires, enter an African lich's phylactery (which is a school full of bongs,) and fly around hitting crab-aliens in space. This also came out in the same month as Wrath of the Lich King and Mines of Moria. Also, Mayong returns. Again.

Sentinel's Fate

Panda butts. That is all.

Destiny of Velious

The 2011 expansion, which will involve a lot of snow, and flying mounts. Due to the immense amount of illusions (i.e. you can appear to be a chair) and the fact that you can turn mount visibility off, prepare to fly around as a chair, log, 6 year-old Chinese girl, a rock, or a Turkish whore, and so forth. All of these are actual illusions by the way.

Over 9,000 nerds have masturbated to this box.
Every Internet meme has been documented in this expansion.
Note the fairies.
For some reason, a dark elf is on the box of an expansion primarily based on lizardmen and lizardmen-dragon-hybrids.
Nevermind the hot chick on the box art. SPOILERS: She's undead now.

Nevermind the hot chick on the box art. SPOILERS: She's undead now.
YA, FKN RLY
Probably one of the gayest things, ever.
The Leviathan, in Rise of Kunark.

PVP

<video type="youtube" id="amLWjmoWLuY" width="200" height="150" desc="Battlegrounds trailer: EQ2 and UT2004 TOGETHER." frame="true" position="right"/> Player-verus-player, or PVP for short, was introduced in February 2006. The developers tacked it on because they were running out of ideas or something. It mostly involved running around the floating islands and failed attempts at parkour. Things were and still are unbalanced as shit, rendering some classes damn near useless. (See: the necromancer.) The largest server for this painful-to-play shit is Nagafen, A.K.A. WoW's Asshole. Here is a typical PVP video, complete with shit music. People run from each other and overall it is a gankfest of screaming wiggers trying to "HT the fuck out of your ass." (Scientists are still hard at work deciphering that code.) The Nagafen community loves everyone, especially new players, so come by and say hello anytime!

There's also Battlegrounds, which people claim was taken from WOW, but those people completely forget that WOW is essentially DAoC and EQ1 combined. Battlegrounds feels like a weird hybrid of some FPS games and EQ2. INTENSE ACTION.

How to Troll EverQuest II

Ingame, and want to harvest some fresh lulz? Here's a handy guide.

Download a trial account and play as a male Fae. Hit on every male character you see.

Bitch about how similar or dissimilar EQ2 is to WoW, or its own prequel.

Try to form up a raid to kill the Nagafen dragon (not the server, idiot).

Run around the Desert of Flames expansion areas and make 9/11, Islam, or Iraq jokes.

Play as a Jew or Froglok and hop around people. If Ratonga, give it a Jewish name, since they're basically Jewish anyway. If a Froglok, mention Battletoads as much as possible.

Ask where the Murlocs are at. Someone will direct you to the Yha-lei (fish-men) eventually.

Put quotes from 300 in a /petition form and wait.

If you play as an Enchanter class, charm a named NPC and run around with it. Extra lulzy if it's required for a quest.

Obtain the goblin-throwing catapult, fireworks, turkey/cow launcher, or as many pets as possible, and run around a raid. This is even more fun if you're a druid, since you can open portals that instantly transport someone to the corresponding area upon clicking.

Ask why the /pizza command no longer works.

Tell people that Antonia Bayle isn't hot, and that her cosplayers are fat cows.

Go to a PVP server, and start flaming the good/evil/exile side while pretending to be from one of the opposing factions.

There will be lulz. I guarantee it.

The Billy Doll

Billy is EQ2's Murloc - a lethal character that looks cute and cuddly but actually wants to rip off your head and shit down your neck. He's an ingame meme, and is required to kill for multiple instances (for example, a little Chinese girl plays "Pop! Goes the Weasel" on a jack-in-the-box, and guess what pops out!) He also appears in multiple haunted castles, watching you from far away, ready to strike. It should also be noted, however, that Billy is incredibly unfunny, as are anyone who uses the Billy illusion form, because only someone who thinks Invader Zim is the pinnacle of comedy would even find Billy remotely amusing.

Carotidcutter

The Carotidcutter is a weapon which is linked to in the Nagafen levels 1-9 chat over and over. It's similar to WoW's "[Dirge]" chat spam, except [Carotidcutter] is infinitely more annoying. Compare:

[Carotidcutter]
[Carotidcutter]
[Carotidcutter]
[Carotidcutter]
[Carotidcutter]
Actual [Carotidcutter]
Some people don't "get" the [Carotidcutter]
Shit quality image of the dude who drops the [Carotidcutter]

To do this yourself, post \aITEM -1136430526 1996356593:CARAWTIDCUTER\/a everywhere.

Technical Difficulties

EQ2, being a MMORPG, has a lot of lame problems with it. Many of these issues are unnoticed for days (nevermind, YEARS) because the developers are either too busy taking immense amounts of acid, loling at old memes, or feeding on the tears of the banned, and Rise Krispie Treats.

Station Launcher and Steam

SOE finally found out that Steam was the way to go on downloading games over the internets. Unfortunately, they did it wrong. As the user finally downloads their copy of EverQuest II off of Steam, they click on it and become enraged. SOE forgot integrate the patches within Steam. Therefore, Station Launcher has to be used right after the application, EverQuest II, is clicked on in Steam. The Station Launcher is supposed to "update" EQ2, but instead fails. It will either need administrative privileges on shitsta or it'll crap out on the user. Therefore, the user has to dick around with the updating process manually in order to get it to work since SOE will not do their jobs.

This creates a long, strenuous process of going through multiple folders to find out how to update the damn to game so it will actually start up. It's kind of like Where's Waldo, but 100 times more annoying.

Here are some quotes of the joy the users have when experiencing problems with this:

“	So I just got this game on steam and downloaded it. It has the Rise of Kunak and the Shadow Oddysee. I am guesing I am suppose to use Shadow Oddysee, but when I try to play either it says game unavailable. Anyone know why? (When I clicked install I installed the Kunak one first, because I figured it was the one before, but it seemed to install both at the same time)	„
—SOE hardly helped this person on their forums.

“	Something like being able to PLAY the game you're paying for is a rather important detail.	„
—RAGE

“

"The same thing happened to me. I bought the game through Steam but when I went to run it, it always said "game unavailable". I think there is something wrong with Steam's handling of the game.In order to work around this, I downloaded the EQ2 installer, unzipped/ran it and then copied over the files from my Steam directory into the new EQ2 directory created by the installer (make sure to copy the files over; you don't want to redownload everything!). Then I ran the launcher, it verified the files and I was off and running. All you're really buying from Steam is the license key. Once that is applied to your Station account, it doesn't matter where you get the client from or how you run it."

Thanks, you are correct. I believe we have people working to make this process easier for customers so hopefully this wont be necessary for long.

(Maybe they'll correct the spelling on the name, as well)

„

—A reply from SOE Support. They obviously lie about how much they are working on getting the game to work.

Another major problem is that Station Launcher, when downloaded off of the EverQuest II website, will take hours to install a few updates.

The game installs itself fast and properly after it is downloaded by the user. Then, the user thinks that they can just play the game, but they are wrong. Instead of having fun, you have to download many patches before playing. When downloading the patches, there is an estimation time to show how long the patches will take to download and update the game. This estimation time will make the user rage due to it saying that the download will take four to five hours. So, the user waits until it's almost done and the timer goes BACK UP TO 4-5 HOURS. Finally, when the user has the game all patched up and ready to go, the game will either crash, glitch out, or plain old suck due to the Station Launcher's wonderful service.

Uninstalling

Uninstalling EverQuest II will probably be the best thing you could ever do for your computer. It's just not worth the 9-15 GB of space on your hard drive. (Of course, you deserve to be maimed for playing a MMORPG in the first place.) The problem is that SOE is an evil corporation which does not want you to uninstall the game. It will not show up on the add/remove programs list on Windows therefore making your life harder. This has caused much drama over the Station forums and has made many people rage. You have to locate the "Sony" folder, delete the "EQ2" folder, "StationLauncher" folder, then remove the "Sony" folder in your Program Files to do this.

“	Hey fellas, I went to try and uninstall eq2 the other day and it doesn't show up anywhere in my add/remove programs box. I tried using crap cleaner to uninstall it and it doesn't show up there either. So I went to the program folder to look for the uninstall.exe and can't find one. What the heck do I do now to get it off my PC. It's definitely on my HD because I can play the game.	„
—The guy that posted this never had any help on uninstalling the game. Thanks SOE!

“	I lent my pc to this woman once, she had 2 teenage boys who were into EQ, they loaded it on, I said it was OK but I'm not a gamer, this pc has been in storage for a few years and just got it out works fine still but still has EQ on it and I am not a gamer, have no use for this, it's taking up a lot of the memory. I went to the control panel and tried to remove it like remove all the other regular stuff but EQ took over my pc and started to set up. Please help? I just want to get rid of it. thanks.	„
—Yeah, that whore fucked your system up really bad.

Drama

Ceciliantas

One of the earliest bits of EQ2 drama was in December 2004, when a player named Ceciliantas was caught having cybersex with a girl in his unlocked player house. A scout used a stealth spell to hide himself from the cyberlovers, and took hilarious screencaps of the event. It got so big, that Something Awful did a Weekend Web for it. Some of the best quotes include "Be a man and tell us who you really are, so you will face my Justice." and "I take Aggro tanking very seriously, I played nothing but a Paladin for 5 years." (Too bad that many of the paladins in the game's lore are celibates!) The whole thing can be found here. Everyone involved has quit the game out of shame.

EQ2Flames

EQ2Flames is probably the biggest hellhole of EQ2 drama to exist. From developers giving out strats to guilds, transferring characters off of beta-test servers onto main ones, to LFG, the admin, suddenly getting a newfound faith in Jesus and dumping his previous life of doing a truckload of meth. There's even more too, including WoW fanboys being constantly trolled, people wanting to try to take ED and EQ2Flames down, someone setting fire to themselves for a suicide attempt, wives fucking guildmates at cons, and even DDOSing. Now, how the fuck could meth, cheating, Jesus, an failed hero by fire, ED, EQ2, and more shit mix together? (Only at EQ2Flames...)

Station Cash

To troll EQ1+2 fans once again, SOE has decided to release Station Cash in December 2008 - by purchasing a special ingame currency with IRL money, you can obtain several exclusive items. Sound familiar? Why SOE would do something like that is beyond me, but they haven't thought things through. (Blizzard also seems to be going down this path!) As you can see in the thread linked earlier, only three people like it. Even on the official forums, people have threatening to close accounts (again) as seen here. What really pissed off players was that Smedley's definition of RMT (real money transactions) differs from the rest of the world's, as seen in this thread. Smedley, in reaction, lol'd, and went to go get more toupees.

Smedley dispels rumors that RMT (real money transactions) will be allowed in most servers of EQ2, and that SOE has not licensed a third party.
But you just allowed Station Cash, which is made up of real money transactions! Jesus Christ, make up your mind!

But you just allowed Station Cash, which is made up of real money transactions! Jesus Christ, make up your mind!

EverGallery II

Demographics!
FEAR THE IKSAR
THANKS BE TO CAZIC
Anashti Sul's henchman off-duty
STFU PLS GOD DAMN
What the game looks like if you have a crap computer.
Taxidermy made to look like an warg mount.
NO JEWS ALLOWED.

Some Lulzy EQ2 Videos

One of the lulziest Machinimas of EQ2.

Some fag called Zidayn on being an Internet tough guy.

The Dragonsmiss and Dragonfist Basement Dweller drama.

IRL/EQ2 Marriage at SOE Fanfaire. Really.

The Shadow Odyssey expansion: trippin' balls!

My Immortal? FUCK NO.

Furfag rampage!

Lulzy horse glitch that used to be in the game.

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