The Game
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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it. |
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The Game is a piece of arrant fuckwittery which quickly spread as an internet phenomenon and shortly after also took root IRL. It stopped being funny sometime around 2009, but that sure doesn't stop annoying 14 year olds from screaming "HUH HUH THE GAME! XDDDDDD" like the obnoxious little shits they are. Though some argue it was never funny in the first place. The Game is (or was) well-known on forums and OL games alike, and has been praised and cursed for being annoying, useless and mind-bending in a way that has yet to be equaled by another textual meme, although a certain other meme came very close at least in terms of being annoying and useless for a short while. Though it may be forgotten on some places of the internet, it is still hiding somewhere being kept alive by those aforementioned 14 year olds who still think it's funny. They wait until the dawn of the next anime convention to scream it out at the top of their lungs since everyone else around them got sick of the joke a long time ago and probably screamed at them to shut up. This game goes by no other title, aside from simply "The Game." This may appear to give it a sense of importance, but in the same way that the Frisbee team sport is called Ultimate to its fans and players, it is in fact complete and utter shit with no real relevance or drama.
You cannot win The Game, but only lose. By playing, you are automatically a loser! In fact, just by looking at this page, you've already lost The Game. The ultimate goal of The Game is to get everyone else on Earth playing with you.
The Rules
- In order to play The Game, one must simply know about The Game, and have a basic grasp of the rules. Thus, if you do not wish to become a participant of this simple but unfathomably stupid internet concept ritual right now, simply click here to leave.
- There is no way to win The Game, but one can, at any given moment, be winning. However, awareness that one is in fact winning will immediately make the winning person a luser. The reasons for this will soon become clearer. It has been speculated, however, that The Game may be won by, after learning of The Game, never thinking of it again until your death. If you manage to attain this feat, then you can consider yourself as having won The Game. You deserve it, given that your lack of thinking about The Game must be a result of Alzheimer's, amnesia, or being a dumb shit.
- In order to lose The Game, one must simply think about it. You heard right. This means that in order to maintain a certain vague level of success one must know of The Game, but not be cogitating it at that moment. This means that by uttering the words "The Game" on the internets, or saying them aloud in a public place, you are condemning any present players of The Game to a similar loser fate.
- Optional rule. If a participant does, on their mental travels, briefly remember the fact that they are playing The Game, and thus lose, they are obliged to tell anyone nearby that they have just failed in their subconscious attempt to remain victorious. The most common phrases of use in these circumstances are simply "I lost The Game," "I just lost The Game," "I lost," or "FUCK I JUST LOST LOLOLOL."
- A rule that is both lesser and optional. Since the realization that you lost The Game can occur several times in rapid succession over the course of a few minutes, you may decide that you do not need to inform everyone else each time you lose The Game in the same hour, or whatever. People who follow this rule are known to The Game as losers. The usual amount of delay in between game losses is generally until the moment that it pisses you off the most, or a half hour. Whichever comes first.
- "A rule that is even more lesser and optional." There are actually 2 ways to END the game forever. You would either have to (a) Get the Queen of England to say I lost the game on live television, or (b) steal the Pope's hat. Either would be a completely epic win. Somebody get working on it.
P.S.: Essentially, by the fact that you have just looked at this page, you instantly lose The Game.
P.P.S.: A perplexing game. The only winning move is not to play.
P.P.P.S.: The Game is hard to play, you're gonna lose it anyways, the losing thought you'll someday play. So that is all I have to say.
P.P.P.S.: Fags can't play the game.
Final Thought: And when you're dying I'll be STILL ALIVE.
Final Thought P.S.: And when you're dead I'll be STILL ALIVE.
Still alive. Still alive.
The History of The Game
You are going to like this. True story. It was the end of 8th grade, and my best friend threw a little party because his parents were away for a couple days. What kind of party can a 8th grader throw, you know? So only about 7 people showed up. 6 dudes...1 girl.
Just as you would expect, some crazy shit happened. This girl was a freak, but hot as hell. She would always have that seductive look on her face... the kind that gets you aroused just by looking at her. We were all good friends in school, but never really chilled outside of it. We were all about 14, and really sexually inexperienced. This girl however, has fucked at least 20 different guys. From the moment she walked in the house, we could tell what she wanted.
Lost in her desire, she began to grind up on the host. They made out for about 10 mins, but this girl wanted more. She made us all go into the host's room, and play a modified version of spin the bottle. Basically, instead of just making out, she would decide what to do with the guy. At first we were shy, but pretty soon we all started to jack off while the girl did whatever she pleased.
The situation quickly escalated. She was getting fucked in turns, by 3 different guys, fighting over her pussy like the kids that they were. I would've joined them, but then she waved me to come over. My dick was probably the hardest its ever been. Sticking straight out, and pulsating; I felt like it was gonna explode. To my surprise, she grabbed it and just stuck it in her mouth without warning. I had never had my dick sucked before, but let me tell you, it was amazing.
Game as it was, I was ready to cum in seconds. I didn't know what to do, so I asked her where I should blow my load. And at that moment, she said something I will never forget. She turned to me and said, "read the first word of each paragraph."
How to REALLY win The Game
Stories
You will never believe what happened to me this morning! I was waking up and doing my morning routine, eat breakfast, take a shower, brush my teeth, that sort of thing. When I was about to get changed, I saw something in my window that looked a little strange. I went to look and there he was, a man was staring through my window on a ladder!
Just as soon as he knew I saw him he started climbing down the ladder and I ran for the door outside. On my way out I grabbed the bat I keep under my bed. When I got outside I saw him running down my block and I began chasing after him. We ran for nearly 10 minutes and reached some woods. Then from there we ran another 15 until I lost sight of him.
Lost, in the middle of the woods, chasing a peeping Tom. I knew something like this could only happen to me.
The search seemed over when a bit deeper in the woods I heard the man scream. I ran out there and saw him sitting on the ground a good distance away from me. As I got closer I could see he had gotten his foot stuck in a bear trap! Actually I'm not so sure it was a bear trap because it was a bit smaller but you get the point. I walked up to him with my bat and said the sweetest one liner I could think up on the spot.
"Game over fucker" and I hit him in the face with my bat. He began to sob a bit as he held his bleeding nose, but to my surprise he began to laugh. This startled me so I hit him again and said "what's funny faggot!" and he said, "read the first word of all the last paragraphs."
And another one.....
The words on the headstone in the graveyard, bathed in moonlight and cloaked in black velvet sky, were bareley visible. I eventually managed to translate the text from Latin into English and it read:
You could swear you'd heard it before. Just like rain on the window, persistent and tireless. Lost in dreams of other shores. The ocean of my mind is the deathbed of my thoughts. Game for hunters now, I am the hunted evermore. I was puzzled for several years by this verse, studying it, rolling it over in my mind and contemplating it's meaning. Seemed like pretty bad poetry, I thought but I couldn't get it out of my mind.
About four years after this I was walking down the Main Street when I was stopped by a man dressed like a tramp and smelling of urine. He kept blocking my way but I fought back till he fixed me with a million mile stare from his crazed eyes as he pushed me into the side-alleyway without breaking his gaze as I stumbled backwards.
He looked me in the eye with a glare like Satan himself and took my hand. He placed a small piece of paper in my hand and then beckoned me to come closer. The smell of alcohol and ammonia was almost unbearable as he whispered in my ear:
"Read the first word of each sentence on the stone and know your fate" he said before walking away laughing.
As his words sank in it occured to me that this was all going wrong, and as I opened up that sheet of paper to see a picture of the headstone, smashed to pieces, I knew that I was fucked.
A Potential Solution to The Game
If anyone accuses you of having just lost The Game all you have to do is calmly say "prove it" which is 100% impossible, both metaphysically and psychologically; eo ipso, it is impossible to ever lose The Game because it is impossible to ever prove what one is thinking about at any time, game or otherwise. This is a proven psychological and philosophical fact, One need merely reply "No I'm not" to any accusations of thinking about The Game. The trick is to not mention "The Game" in any way because if you do some retard will think they've proven you've thought of The Game. Elementary!
GAME OVER, MAN, GAME OVER
On March 3rd, 2008, the author of stick-figure webcomic XKCD attempted to put an end to The Game:
Since anyone with pretensions to geekhood worships XKCD and pretends to get all the obscure math jokes, this declaration may indeed put a stop to The Game among many. However, seeing as you cannot win The Game, the author fails as hard as his comic does. In doing this, he made all of his readers actually lose The Game.
On the other hand, the belief of many overrule sides, so this has started a drama flame war on this subject across many wars, so the current situation is undecided.
Frank Zappa
Pre-internet troll and /b/tard Frank Zappa might have invented The Game in 1979 with his song Yo Mama on the album Sheik Yerbouti. The lyrics has a line that goes "Cause if you play The Game, you will get beat". If you don't believe it, you can listen to it right here at 1:02 into the song.
Where is your god now?
Using The Game as a Trolling method
Most fags who play The Game get super butthurt when someone even mentions The Game, but to get truly epic lulz just say you won The Game. When you say you won The Game, every single fag who plays The Game will shit their pants in horror because they are niggers who can't take a joke and want every single person on earth to play The Game. Just saying you won The Game all by it's self is enough to get them mad but you can add on by saying things like I skullfucked The Game, I tea bagged it, or even say I made The Game my bitch.
The Game does not Exist?
—Some newfag | ||
Gallery
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Variation of the typical rules list. -
The worst way to lose. -
Once you lose The Game you must take orders from The Gameball. -
A typical round of The Game, as seen on 4chan.
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This is not The Game. -
Nor is this. (Moar like the lame, amirite?!) -
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Consolation prize. -
You lose. -
It's dangerous to go alone!
Take this. -
Even Unown are against you. -
Typical post-game party -
Rule 34 of it exists -
More Rule 34 exists. -
Sci-Fi and Bravo - trolling since 2009 -
Cleverbot plays The Game. -
Double-triple-quad combo ends The Game, 04/14/09. -
Four-pair ends The Game, 07/03/09. -
08/06/09, The Game ends ... again. -
You don't get a retry button, loser. -
September 9th, 2009, The Game has returned to our lives. -
Jesus wins The Game. -
BET made Discovery Health lose The Game. -
This Guy found a loophole. Also Over 9000 in depts. -
The Game is off until 2010. -
What you say -
Daedryon attempts to troll /b/tards. -
The Game Is Back On, 02/07/2010. Trips is beaten. -
But in the end, it comes down to this. -
Simply put. -
Now for smartphone users. -
Shit Just Got Serious! -
Amazing Science Fact! -
Monopoly Game. -
Losing is serious business. -
The RuleZ of the Game.
Extra Crap
— alchemi_1 | ||
—t0rero | ||
See Also
- GAME OVER YEAHHHH
- Dead-Pool Have fun. Bet on who's going to die.
External links
The day The Game ended.- Cool site about The Game
BIG PENISES The Game.swfSome faggot banned it.- losethegame.com general "game" site that sucks harder than milhouse.
- The Game: The Game
- TOW page
- A song that says: "GAME, The Game, The Game" 9001 times
- A song about The Game
- The Game for Windows - Some fag made a Windows version of The Game.
- YJLTG
- The Game on Amazon - You can now buy The Game at Amazon
- How to WIN The Game - Another dumb attempt to win the game.
b/1858: Nipple slip?
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The Game is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |