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Edarem: Difference between revisions
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{{Timeline|Featured article September 24 & September 25, [[2011]]|[[Kevin Provance]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Alenonimo]]}} | {{Timeline|Featured article September 24 & September 25, [[2011]]|[[Kevin Provance]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Alenonimo]]}} | ||
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Revision as of 15:25, 31 October 2011
Edarem (born September 27th, 1932), also known as "The Creepy Old Man", "The Schnozz" or "The Singing Sex Offender", is a 78 year old man (currently LOL JAILED!) making the rounds on YouTube. His real name is Edward Muscare (sometimes Edward J. Vianney) and he's a registered sex offender in the state of Florida. In his younger years, Edward used to present a children's show on KNXV-TV called Friday Night At The Frights and went under the guise of "Edmus Scarey". Previous to this, Edward hosted shows for KSHB-TV in Kansas City. Muscare abruptly left his life in television under cloudy circumstances.
Edward enjoys such things as letting dogs bite his body, grinding axes with a grinder, singing old Roy Orbison songs and is a fan of the TV series Scrubs. He is currently making YouTube videos at a very fast rate, several a day sometimes, making people like Chris-chan look even more like lazy fat bastards by way of comparison.
Due to his handiness with tools, his criminal record and the fact that he is living (and will die) alone, he is quickly becoming adopted as /g/'s official mascot.
His Videos Say It All
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Pedo Style
Edward has two convictions in the state of Florida and one in South Carolina. His first conviction occured in 1986 for sexual battery on a 14 year old boy. His second conviction was in 1987 again for sexual battery on a victim 12 years or older without using enough physical force to cause serious personal injury. His last conviction was for failing to register as a sexual predator.
So apparently Edward likes 'em shota, doesn't like the rough stuff, and does not feel there is necessarily anything wrong with performing sex acts on minors.
Disappearance and Phil Stevens
Sometime in early May 2009, Edarem uploaded one last video before disappearing from YouTube for a month and a half. Due to his numerical age falling somewhere over 95, many speculated that he had finally keeled over and his dogs had consumed the corpse.
On June 24th, however, a new video was suddenly uploaded to his account by a man claiming to be an old friend of his named Phil Stevens. He mentioned that Edarem no longer had a computer, but neglected to explain why. He then stated that Edarem would supply him with DVDs of his videos to upload to the account. Why Edarem kept DVDs of his own videos remains a mystery. However, it can be argued that Edarem was, perhaps, wise to the likelihood of abruptly losing said computer, given that his television career-as mentioned-ended just as sporadically and under similarly cloudy circumstances.
To this day, Phil Stevens (as he continues to refer to himself as, rather than just Phil) has been supplying the loyal Edarem fan base with the bootleg Edarem videos ripped from the DVDs. He also keeps a blog that he promises to use as host for Edarem's transcribed autobiography, though he hasn't updated it since late June.
What remains ambiguous is a) is Phil Stevens real or some product of Edarem's delusion and b) is Edarem still alive? Because Edarem's autobiography claims that his computer was confiscated by the Fuzz because, presumably, he'd only use it to supply himself with gratuitous amounts of kiddy porn, there can be no concrete evidence that Edarem is still alive because the videos being uploaded could be months old.
All the Edarem fans and trolls have to rely on is the word of Phil Stevens, who may or may not be a real person. Regardless, we all knew that Edarem had a well-earned spot on the ED list of those who would die alone, and more than likely has already fulfilled said prophecy.
Edarem gets V& again
Sooner or later, all good things come to an end. On the 21st of September, the Party Van paid a visit, and Edarem was sent back to the pokey for another vacation. It turns out that South Carolina had a law aganst secks offenders having computers. Edarem didn't know that. In May, 2009 after he'd become an internet celebrity, the popo found out and pwnt his 'pooter. The lulz stopped as Edarem was warned not to play around on JewTube any more. Ed recruited his buddy, Phil Stevens to upload his vids.
Previous Video | Next Video
Sadly, the South Carolina police didn't like that and, as his probation was originally imposed in Florida, they sent him back there, where a Judge busted his ass back to jail. Later on, he'd be denied bond and would be held over for another month.
Right now, the Florida Department of Corrections site places him in 551 W MAIN ST, LAKE COUNTY JAIL, TAVARES, FL 32778-3125, LAKE COUNTY.
On January 9th, 2010, this video was uploaded to Edarem's account revealing that he had been sentenced to five years in jail for violating his probation. Bets are now being taken on whether our hero will live through the sentenced time period to make another YouTube video. Let's face it folks, at 106 years old, the odds are against him.
Tribute Video
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Gallery
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Edarem looking perfectly normal. -
1.21 GIGAWATTS?! -
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See also
External Links
- Template:Ytlink2
- Florida sex offender registry
- South Carolina sex offender registry
- Some fansite with images
- His article on TOW (LOL - deleted!)
- An archive page, mostly password protected.
- Edarem on Failbook.
- Edarem on Twatter.
- edarem.com - fansite
- YouTube videos land S.C. man back in jail - KSFM
- Video interview from inside Orlando Jail
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| Featured article September 24 & September 25, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Kevin Provance |
Edarem | Succeeded by Alenonimo |