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Adolf Hitler: Difference between revisions

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{{achtung|'''#Hitlerdidnothingwrong'''}}
{{Spoiler|HITLER HAD [[Irony|JEWISH AND AFRICAN ANCESTRY!]]}}
{{an hero}}
{{an hero}}
<br>
<br>
{{aspie}}
 
[[File:Adolf Hitler riding a triceratop.jpg|center|800px]]<br><br>{{clear}}
[[Image:Hitler vx Ghandi.png|thumb|Hitler of course]]
[[Image: Merkel and netenyahu.jpg|thumb|300px|Jews did Hitler]]
[[Image:MerkelNude.jpg|thumb|Hitler's bastard daughter Angela ([[irony|left]]) at a Stasi resort in 1972.  She is now the [[irony|leader of Germany.]]]]
 
'''Adolf "[[Epic Win|Der Übermensch]]" Hitler'''{{nazi}} ([[420|April 20]], 1889 &ndash; April 30, 1945) is perhaps, the greatest figure that shall be immortalized in World history forevermore, for History cannot be ever taught without mentioning the name of Hitler. He is the [[Superman]] prophesized by Friedrich [[Nietzsche]], a [[Raptor Jesus|messiah]] who took it upon himself to cleanse the free world of [[Jews|the greatest parasitic cause of debt on the planet]], and was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists, a genius who saved Germany from the Great Depression, and paving the way for Germany from being Europe's [[Africa|backwater]] into the economic and engineering powerhouse we know today. He is also the [[Downfall|Undisputed Champion of the Art of Ranting]], Among his inventions were the Autobahn system, the Volkswagen cars, the Me-262 (the first true Jet fighters) the V2 superweapons (which the Amerijews and Russians stole to power the Space Race), and a way to [[Holocaust|convert useless parasites into an efficient form of Renewable Energy]]. He also planned to renovate Berlin into a utopia called ''Welthauptstadt Germania''. Up to today, he still holds the [[High Score|high score]] in IRL Risk. He was undefeated until he went up against fellow sociopathic asshat [[Commie|Joseph Stalin]], although [[Americunts]] like to think they had something to do with it. He broke new strategic ground with his [[Zerg rush|Blitzkrieg]] tactics, which effectively meant that he was [[I'm in your base, killing your d00ds|in your nation, killing your j00z]].
 
Hitler was a [[Asperger's Syndrome|Child Prodigy]] who attended [[art school|the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts]] but unfortunately was expelled because the [[Jews|academy's administrators]] mocked his artistic designs and told him he should pursue architecture and making shitty [[anime]]. He, being the Original [[Emo]] Kid, also had a history of [[CP|child abuse and rape]] from his ([[Irony|Jewish]]) father and in school was always bullied by those rich-ass kikes for his lunch money, which is why he had an epiphany that the Jews were bullying nations into paying up debts they never even had, thus paving his journey to use his genius to pursue multiple degrees in [[Nietzsche|Philosophy]], [[pol|Political Science]], [[Eugenics|Biology]], [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|Thermodynamics]] and [[Zyklon B|Chemistry]], so that he could unmask the Truth of the Jew menace and attempt to enact [[Holocaust|the greatest plan of Human Liberation in all of History]].
 
There has been evidence that he also had [[Irony|Jewish]] ancestry, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe. Liberal Media wants to portray him as a [[Chris-Chan|overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic]]. According to das Juden, during his holiday in [[Germany]], Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que) with [[Over 9,000|six million]] members&mdash;this party has come to be known as "The [[Holocaust]]". In [[fact]], he was a [[Gay|sensitive]] hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the [[racist]] Germans that he, an [[Australia|Austrian]], loved so much.
 
Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the [[Truth|peaceful]] Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out he escaped. Years later the DNA testing on one of the supposed skull fragments showed that that not only did the DNA not match any recorded samples but they didn't match Eva Braun’s familiar DNA either. The Russians lied, who would have thought?
 
His latest successor (and possible descendant) is [[The Donald|Donaldus I of the House of Florida Man, God-Emperor of Mankind]].
 
==Why Hitler Was Right==
[[File:Hitler vot ze fuck.png|left|125px]]
The entire European mainland consists of landlocked nations who can't control their borders effectively. The resulting confusion of cultures means that a strong racial identity never really developed in European history. The effects of this lack of identity persist in cucked nations like [[Sweden]] and [[Norway|Norway.]] Germany was not immune to this lack of racial identity either, and the results can be seen in the [[Rapefugee|open door]] policies of [[Angela Merkel|Angela "Burqa" Murql.]]
 
Hitler foresaw [[White Genocide|the coming degradation of Europe's racial stock,]] and began to build a mighty fortress to protect his people against this future contamination. He was a bold visionary who Made Germany Great Again and gave the German people back their pride. However, he was [[Back-stabbers|stabbed in the back]] before his vision could come to fruition, and Europe has come to the brink of extinction - just as he feared it would.
{{clear}}
 
== The Fuhrer's Most Inspirational Quotes ==
 
 
<center>{{morphquote|CC1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|''Retweet if u r a '''#Jew''' '''#jewishtwitter'''''|November 8, 1938
|Fuck Bitches|MMXXXMVI
|You guys can lick mein Auschwitz.|2012
|In the life of nations, what in the last resort decides questions is a kind of Judgment Court of God... Always before god and the world the stronger has the right to carry through what he wills.|In Munich, April 1923
|If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.|In Landsberg, November 1925
|What matters is to emphasize the fundamental idea in my party's economic program clearly; the idea of authority. I want the authority; I want everyone to keep the property he has acquired for himself according to the principle: ‍'‍Benefit to the community precedes benefit to the individual.‍'‍ But the state should retain supervision and each property owner should consider himself appointed by the state. It is his duty not to use his property against the interests of others among his own people. This is the crucial matter. The Third Reich will always retain its right to control the owners of property.|In 1931 [[Sieg Heil]]
|In the course of my life I have very often been a prophet, and have usually been ridiculed for it. During the time of my struggle for power it was in the first instance only the Jewish race that received my prophecies with laughter when I said that I would one day take over the leadership of the State, and with it that of the whole nation, and that I would then among other things settle the Jewish problem. Their laughter was uproarious, but I think that for some time now they have been laughing on the other side of their face. Today I will once more be a prophet: if the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!|In 1939
}}</center>
 
== Singing Career ==
<br>
<br>
<youtube>SjD9v9H2UrU</youtube>
[[Image:Wouldyouknow.jpg|700px|center]]
<br>
<br>
Young Adolf began his rise to fame and fortune touring Germany with his band the House Painters. He won a rock contest in Munich in 1923, beating out rival Gustav von Kahr's band Gas Attack in front of a live audience of 3000. It was at approximately this time that he landed a major music contract with German High Command (later Bauhaus). Hitler's singing style was described as "rollicking good fun" as the crowd pumped its arms and marched in step with the beat in swastika formation, cigarette lighters held high to illuminate the auditorium. His headline song "Imagine", later covered in a bowdlerized form by [[John Lennon]], held an inspiring message that resonated with the German people:


[[Image:Hitler's_Hoes_2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Hitler and his hoes.]]
{| style="width:100%;"
[[File:Hitler nigger.jpg|thumb|right|250px|lol.]]
|&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
[[File:Holocauster Tycoon.jpg|thumb|right|He's going for the high score!]]
|''Imagine there's no Russians,
[[File:Hitler_Banjo.gif|thumb]]
<br />No blacks and Gypsies too.
<br />No left-leaning homos,
<br />And not a single Jew.
<br />
<br />Imagine all the people,
<br />Look and act the sa-a-ame.
|''Imagine there's no countries,
<br />Other than our Reich.
<br />No one else to vote for,
<br />Just say the Fuhrer's right.
<br />
<br />Imagine all the people,
<br />Never arguing a-ga-a-in.
|''You may say that I'm a dreamer,
<br />But I'm not the only one.
<br />Someday you know you'll have to join us,
<br />And the world will be as one.
|}


'''Adolf Hitler''' ([[420|April 20]], 1889 - April 30, [[WWII|1945]]) was an African Jew who ironically <s>tried to wipe out his racial brethren</s> was blamed for a mass die off of jews in europe, due to their eating too much jewgold in the form of a cock and choking. He was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists. Many see him as a [[Chris-Chan|overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, high functioning Autistic.]] Others see him as humanity's last hope to cleanse the world of [[jews|the biggest problem on the planet]].What's so exciting about that? During his holiday in [[Germany]], Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-cue), with somewhere around [[over 9,000|six million]] [[Jews]] <b>[[Bullshit|EXACTLY SIX MILLION AND NOT ONE LESS!!]]</b>, called the [[Holocaust|Lolocaust]]. More lies from Juden, in [[Fact|fact]], he was a [[gay|sensitive]] hero who tried to save the undeserving jews from the [[racist]] germans that he, an [[gay|Austrian]], loved so much. He also helped invent the Volkswagen and still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He broke new strategic ground with his [[Zerg Rush|Blitzkrieg]] tactics, which effectively meant that he was [[I'm in your base, killing your d00ds|in your nation, killing your j00z]].
== Rise to Power ==
<br>
{{frame|<youtube>sEGeHxF0tF4</youtube>|margin=auto}}
<br>
[[Image:Jesus hitler.jpg|300px|right]]


On the other hand, Hitler was also a [[faggot|sensitive man]]. When he was younger, Hitler went to [[art school]]. He was a [[vegetarian]], a [[pussy|non-smoker]], a [[coprophilia|coprophiliac]] and also [[serious business|had a mustache]]. On the downside, he dropped out of [[art school]], [[basement dweller|slept until three in the afternoon every day]], and [[BAW|threw temper tantrums]] if you tried to wake him up.
[https://encyclopediadramatica.online/images/1/12/Bluewafflenew.jpg Adolf] began his ascent to power in Germany with an [[Batshit Insane|ideologically sound]] framework:


Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo The Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the [[truth|peaceful]] Germans for the [[pedo|promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from german schoolgirls]].
*Anyone who expressed views contrary to those of himself and his party was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries' ideas and opinions.  
 
==Rise to Power==
[[Image:Hitler_gets_a_gas_bill.gif|thumb|150px|Jews take your money even from the grave.]]
[[Image:Hitea.jpg|thumb|150px|Since 1945, Hitler has made approx. 900 trillion [[Canadian]] dollars by licensing his looks for use in tasteful merchandise, most of which sells in [[England]].]]
[[Image:TinydickHitler2.jpg|thumb|right| "What We have We Hold]]
[http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f149/138932d1268706236-blue-waffle-infection-really-gross-bw.jpg Adolf] began his ascent to power in Germany with an [[Batshit Insane|ideologically sound]] framework:
* Anyone who expressed views contrary to his and his party's was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries ideas and opinions.  
*If that did not work, he would:
*If that did not work, he would:
** Kill them
**[[Murder|Kill them;]]
** Eat their brains
**[[Awesome|Eat their brains;]]
** Skull-fuck their now empty head.  
**[[Guro|And skull-fuck their empty head.]]


This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.  
This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.


Adolf blamed the ills of the Fatherland on the unclean Juden, amongst others. As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something a little new to them. However Uncle Adolph was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accomidations in special places like Dachau were they could be Jews in saftey from the racist fucks in germany, who are still racist fucks to this day.
Adolf blamed the ills of the [[Germany|Fatherland]] on the unclean Jews, amongst others. [[Lie|As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something relatively new to them.]] However, Uncle Adolf was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accommodations in special places like Dachau were they could be [[gay|Jewish]] in safety from the racist fucks in Germany, [[Fact|who are still racist fucks to this day.]]


Adolf and his National Socilist or Nazi party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as [[Delete Fucking Everything|Krystallnacht]]. Jewish shopkeepers and business owners were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dredels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolph was doubly disapointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria LOL'd at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.
Adolf and his National Socialist, or [[Nazi]], party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as [[Delete Fucking Everything|Kristallnacht]]. [[Ban Fucking Everyone|Jewish shopkeepers and business owners]] were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dreidels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolf was doubly disappointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of Jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria [[LOL]]'d at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.


After the Germans went batshit and begain behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolph realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy [[You|basement dwellers]] and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all expenses paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live sepratley.
After the Germans went [[batshit insane]] and began behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolf realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy [[basement dwellers]] and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all-expenses-paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live separately.
The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.
The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.


Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as ''The Final Solution.'' It was labeled 'The Final Solution' as the Jew's were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The 'Solution' to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.
Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as ''The Final Solution''. It was labeled "The Final Solution" as the Jews were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The "Solution" to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.
 
The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage. Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem. How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as [[Zyklon-B]]. In another technical first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience.


The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage.
It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a Jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actual death.
Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem.
How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as [[Zyklon-B]]. In another technical-first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience.
It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actually dieing.
The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism.
The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism.
After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolph and his mates.
 
After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolf and his mates.
   
   
Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.
Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.


His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of ''The Final Solution'' and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they [[jews|fuck everything up]]
His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of ''The Final Solution'' and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they [[Jews|fuck everything up]].
   
   
Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolph's directions.
Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolf's directions.


On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.
On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, Jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.


==[[World War II]]==
== [[World War II]] ==


[[Image:Hitlerfistshake.jpg|thumb|right|150px|And he would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling Russians!]]
[[Image:Hitlertour.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Hitler shocked at hindenburg tits explosion.png|thumb|right|200px]]


In 1939, Hitler told the leader of [[Poland]] to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and [[Russia]] joined in, because [[Stalin]] was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the [[vagina]] to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.
In 1939, Hitler told the leader of [[Poland]] to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and [[Russia]] joined in, because [[Stalin]] was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the [[vagina]] to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.


After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the bitch he was, went on to completely take out [[Denmark]], [[Norway]], [[Holland]], and [[Belgium]] [[epic_win|all in a couple of weeks]]. Earlier, in free time and for fun and [[profit]], he decided to liberate [[Austria]] and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned [[France]] as [[typical|the French just rolled over and took it in the ass]]. After France was [[rape|subjugated]], he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was [[Buttsecks|anally raped]], causing Hitler to try to [[flamewar|bomb England to surrender]] and invade Russia [[for the lulz]], but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the [[gay|British Army]] had been [[rape|raped]] by the Germans in France, however Hitler sufferd trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.
After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the god he was, went on to completely take out [[Denmark]], [[Norway]], the [[Netherlands]], and [[Belgium]] [[epic_win|all in a couple of weeks]]. Earlier, in free time and for fun and [[profit]], he decided to liberate [[Austria]] and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned [[France]] as [[typical|the French just rolled over and took it in the ass]]. After France was [[rape|subjugated]], he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was [[Buttsecks|anally raped]], causing Hitler to try to [[flamewar|bomb England to surrender]] and invade Russia [[for the lulz]], but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the [[gay|British Army]] had been [[rape|raped]] by the Germans in France, however Hitler suffered trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.


== Hitler's Final Act of [[An heroism|Heroism]] ==
== Hitler's Final Act of [[An heroism|Heroism]] ==
[[File:Asheffect.jpg|thumb|right|200px]]


[[Image:hitlercat.jpg|thumb|right|150px|[[Kitler|Hitler reincarnated]]]]
In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to [[zerg rush]] on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die [[married]] than die gay, so he [[incest|married his cousin]] (Eva Braun) and then committed [[suicide]] like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, from the declassified FBI files, Hitler [[Fact|escaped war-torn Germany and lived a peaceful life in the Andes mountains, Argentina]]. '''{{archive|igMhR|}}''' '''{{archive|OI9SP|}}'''. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankering for a Hitler [[lynching]]. Unfortunately, he escaped before they could get to him.  
 
[[Image:What-would-hitler-do-wwhd.jpg|thumb|150px|Would Hitler fucking [[pwn]] that Jew, [[you]] ask? You bet your [[Asian|two-inch]] dick he would!]]
[[File:Jesus hitler.jpg|thumb|150px|The creationist point of view]]
 
In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to [[zerg rush]] on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die [[married]] than die gay, so he [[incest|married his cousin]] (Eva Braun) and then committed [[suicide]] like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, being the [[angst]]-ridden man-child that he was, he killed himself ten days after his birthday because some of his friends didn't show up at his party at the YMCA. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankerin' for a Hitler [[lynching]]. Unfortunately, he turned to [[an hero|an heroism]] before they could get to him.  


Eventually the monstrous [[Russians]] descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and [[surprise sex|surprised]] every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his [[faggotry]], Stalin made Hitler's skull into a [[jizz|jizz bowl]]. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by [[Jews]] in [[hell]], as everybody knows, [[truth|Jews don't die]].
Eventually the monstrous [[Russians]] descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and [[surprise sex|surprised]] every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his [[faggotry]], Stalin made Hitler's skull into a [[jizz|jizz bowl]]. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by [[Jews]] in [[hell]], as everybody knows, [[truth|Jews don't die]].


{{fv|hitler1vids|background-color: black;|font-weight: bold;|
==Graded Score==
<youtube>Qhz6xE4Tir0</youtube>
|<youtube>CmVxqN4rg1c</youtube>
|<youtube>WDrgwZsGC9A</youtube>
|color=black}}


== Successors ==
{{GradedScore|20,000,000| |20|German|20|Unforgettable|20|Uncontrollable|20|Most famous war, most famous genocide, most famous symbol, most famous human being in history|∞|An unsere deutsche nation. UND DAS DEUTSCHE VOLK SIEG HEIL!|[[Hitler did nothing wrong]]}}
Hitler-wannabes are as widespread as [[AIDS]]. The most notable ones include:


*[[Iran|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]
{{WantedLevel|level=custom|customstars=[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]<br />[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]|custompic=[[File:Nagasaki.jpg|128px]]|customdesc=DER TOTALE KRIEG}}
*[[North Korea|Kim Jong II]]
*[[United States|Pentagon]]
*[[Russia|Vladimir Putin]]
*[[Wikipedia|Jimmy Wales]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Anonymous]]
*[[You]]


==Heil Honey, I'm Home!==
== Heil Honey, I'm Home! ==


[[Image:Charlie-Chaplin-Photograph-C12037007.jpeg|thumb|right|150px|<s>Charlie Chaplin</s> Adolf Hitler was also an actor.]]
Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called ''Heil Honey, I'm Home!'', which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations ever as we all know what Hitler did to those [[fail|poor]] fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network [[duh|realized it was about Hitler in a good way]] and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that [[Israel|the world]] was created by [[Cthulhu]] and Hitler was apparently the devil.


[[Image:Original Hitler.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Original [[50 Hitler post]] pic.]]


[[Image:HileFro.jpg|thumb|150px|Hitler was an avid [[Fag|clubber]] and a total pimp.]]
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|<youtube>qWjCkcAmzDc</youtube>
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|<youtube>jEUq7FaROIE</youtube>
;2
|<youtube>xJcQoV-piDo</youtube>
;3}}
|}}
}}


Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called ''Heil Honey, I'm Home!'', which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations evar as we all know what Hitler did to those [[fail|poor]] fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network [[duh|realized it was about Hitler in a good way]] and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that [[Israel|the world]] was created by [[Cthulhu]] and Hitler was apparently the devil.


{{fv|hitlervids4532|background-color: black;|font-weight: bold;|
== Hitler and the Internet ==
<youtube>fbj9otRPdiM</youtube>
<br>
|<youtube>gnord5ZSM2M</youtube>
[[File:1943 OSS psychological profile of hitler.png|center|thumb|600px|<center><big>'''Why Hitler is the patron saint of all internets'''</center></big>]]
|color=black}}
<br>
[[File:HEILPEPEHITLER.png|thumb|right]]
Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred [[bipolar]] [[forum]] users turn to [[emo|other subcultures]] to try and [[attention whore|stand out]]. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though [[Satan]] would never bestow such an honor on some [[basement dweller]]. [[Skinhead|Neo-Nazis]] have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn [[angst]]-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys. Hitler is also one of the [[internet celebrity|most talked about people]] on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that [[Godwin's Law|Hitler's name will come up eventually]] in conversation [[OTI]]. It is also customary on the internet to [[50 Hitler Post|post Hitler's likeness repeatedly]] as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internet [[less than three|<3]] Hitler.


==Hitler and The [[Internets]]==
=== The Downfall meme ===


[[Image:Hitler_rapper.jpg|thumb|150px|Back in the day, Hitler was popular among the young German boys, mainly rapping about how he grew up in the rough hoods of [[Bel-Air|Braunau]].]]
{{Main|Downfall}}


Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred [[bipolar]] [[forum]]s users turn to [[emo|other subcultures]] to try and [[attention whore|stand out]]. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though [[Satan]] would never bestow such an honor on some [[basement dweller]]. [[Skinhead|Neo-Nazis]] have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn [[angst]]-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys.


Hitler is also one of the [[internet celebrity|most talked about people]] on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that [[Godwin's Law|Hitler's name will come up eventually]] in conversation [[OTI]]. It is also customary on the internet to [[50 Hitler Post|post Hitler's likeness repeatedly]] as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internets [[less than three|<3]] Hitler.
<center>{{frame|<youtube>GVS4Zgjm8HE</youtube>
<center>'''Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument'''}}</center>


==[[Irony|Hitler on JewTube]]==
[[Image:Hitlervacation.jpg|thumb|Hitler on a wonderful vacation.]]


"Downfall" was a 2004 [[Germany|German]]-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during [[World War II]] while the [[Soviet Union|Russians]] were [[ownage|inflicting mass amounts of pwnage]] on their way to [[I_Am_In_Your_Base_Killing_Your_D00ds|capturing Berlin]]. Since real internet power users don't understand German moonspeak, the [[orgasm|climactic]] scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and [[Additional pylons|no reserves left]] was naturally ripe for more nuanced translations. Of course most of them are [[crap]] based on sports teams [[baseball|nobody]] [[football|cares]] [[soccer|about]]. The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering [[Waaaambulance|outraged]] choruses of [[ZOMG]] HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the [[Jews|usual]] [[Democrats|suspects]]. On April 21, 2010 {{wayback|http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/hitler-downfall-parodies-removed-from-youtube-ap|20100426001120|title=Jewtube began removing all such videos}} {{archive|SGztd|}}, because they can't take the [[Copyright|lulz]]. {{Wayback|http://www.urlesque.com/2010/04/20/hitler-downfall-parody-videos-removed-from-youtube|20100721223642|title=Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal}} {{archive|230bO|}}.


{{fv|hitlervids3333|background-color: black;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>lhVM0HmGado</youtube>
=== Fresh Fuhrer of [[Bel-Air]] ===
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|<youtube>nEly8nXA6Oo</youtube>
|<youtube>kyCo29uPu7g</youtube>|<youtube>wi4Dx2RoTns</youtube>|color=black}}


==FRESH FUHRER OF [[Bel-Air|BEL-AIR]]==                                                     
<center>{{scrolltext|: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED
: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED      
: VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
: VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
: CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
: CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
Line 152: Line 185:
: I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
: I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
: I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
: I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
 
: Nobody knows where my Adolf has gone
== It's My Nazi Party and I'll Cry If I Want To ==
 
<youtube>zB5l-MHa0Y4</youtube>
Was Hitler gay?
 
[[Image:Adolfina.jpg|thumb|150px|Hitler's only daughter has led a quiet life since the war ended.]]
 
: Nobody knows where my Adolph has gone
: Eva left the same time
: Eva left the same time
: Why was he holding her hand
: Why was he holding her hand
Line 173: Line 198:
: Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
: Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
: Leave me alone for a while
: Leave me alone for a while
: 'Till Adolph's dancin' with me
: 'Till Adolf's dancin' with me
: I've got no reason to smile
: I've got no reason to smile


Line 181: Line 206:
: You would cry too if it happened to you
: You would cry too if it happened to you


[[Image:Hitler8.gif|thumb|150px|Hitler's rebirth as foretold by /b/.]]


: Eva and Adolph just walked through the door
: Eva and Adolf just walked through the door
: Like a queen with her king
: Like a queen with her king
: Oh what a birthday surprise
: Oh what a birthday surprise
: Eva's wearin' his ring
: Eva's wearin' his ring
|700|100|-A Nigger|}}</center>


=== Kesha meets the Nazi Party ===


: It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
<center>{{scrolltext|: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer
: Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
: You would cry too if it happened to you
 
== Kesha meets the Nazi Party ==
 
[[Image:Sw07sw3954yu.gif|thumb|150px]]
 
[[Image:Hitlerlulz101.jpg|thumb|right|150px|What you have heard is true....why don't you?]]
 
: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer
: Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer
: Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer
: Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too
: Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too
: Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a jew
: Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a Jew




Line 221: Line 237:
: Tonight, they gonna fight
: Tonight, they gonna fight
: Till you give into the Reich!
: Till you give into the Reich!
|700|100|-Kesha|}}</center>


==Obligatory comparison to male genitalia==
== Hitler Fun Facts ==


Hitler was kind of a dick.
[[File:Hitler i have a dream speech.png|350px|right]]
#Hitler served in the [[German]] army in WWI, where he got [[owned]] with [[vespene gas|mustard gas]] and spent months hospitalized.
#He was a [[vegetarian]]. Not out of principles but because he had horrible [[diabeetus|IBS]] and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat.
#Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had [[sex]] with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
#He actually [[trying too hard|wanted to become an artist]].
#He painted houses before he became [[emo]].
#Hitler was an [[asspie]].
#He was [[Applemilk1988|addicted to meth and had syphilis]], just like every other [[Hal Turner|white supremacist]].
#If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have [[over 9,000]] more page-views than [[Snapesnogger]].
#Hitler's [[Sick fuck|doctor]] gave him medicine made from chopped [[balls|cow balls]] and feces of Bulgarian peasants-- on a daily basis.
#[[Uwe Boll]] is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
#The reason Hitler set out to exterminate the Jews is because all through his childhood, time-travelling Jews from the year 4000 kept appearing and trying to assassinate him.


==Adolf Hitler Fun Facts==
== Gallery ==
<br>
{{cg|Galerie von Adolf|hitlergallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Hitler just do it nike meme.png|Controversial ad by Kike sportswear co.
File:Hitler nigger.jpg|Hitler's inspiring message to [[Spics|monkeys]] and [[Niggers|apes]] of [[Catholic|all]] [[Jews|kinds]], around the world.
File:ForLulz.jpg|It was known Hitler committed many atrocities "for the lulz".
File:Der furher has a sad.gif|Der furher has a sad.  :(
File:Holocaust never heard of it.jpg|mein interview
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:What-would-hitler-do-wwhd.jpg|Would Hitler fucking [[pwn]] that Jew, [[you]] ask? You bet your [[Asian|two-inch]] dick he would!
File:1908260 850232981669699 1443354383332542504 n.jpg|The many faces of transvestite Hitler.
File:Hitler rehearsal photos.gif|Footage of when Hitler did [[acid]] at a [[Nightclub#Dance Club|dance club]].
File:Ernie hitler.jpg|Ernie found the thought of exterminating the Jews absolutely thrilling!!
File:Bert n hitler.jpg|The proudest day of Bert's life!
File:hitler34.jpg|If anyone could ever have been said to have a muscular penis it was Adolf Hitler!
File:Jewsaredeadlol.gif
File:Hitler Rapefugee Boat.jpg
File:Jews 3 in 3D.jpg
File:Hitler History Snapchat.jpg
File:4chor8chpolhitleritstime.jpg
File:Hitler Sucks.png
File:02annefrank1.jpg|Hitler caught red-handed by European Paparazzi.
File:Hitler anne frank.png
File:I found this in your room.jpg
File:HITLERREDPILL.jpg
File:MHitler.jpg|M. Hitler
File:Hitler BTFO.png
File:Hitler THumbs Up.jpg
File:Hitler The Fuck Is This.png
File:Hitler Squirrel.jpg
File:Hitler Cosplay Kid.jpg
File:Hitler Pokemon.png
File:Hitler Africanized.jpg
File:Pan The Camera.png
File:HitlerFriedChikkkinz.png
File:HitlerVSObama.jpg
File:Hitlerwaddap.jpg
File:HitlerQuiz.png
File:Hitler Spanking Jew.jpg
File:Hitler Harr.gif
File:Hitler Emo Hair.gif
File:Hitler Fact Check.jpg
File:Rock Paper Scissors Hitler.jpg
File:Hitly Mouse.jpg
File:Hitler KOTH.jpg
File:SS.gif
File:HileHitlar.gif
File:Hitlercats.jpg
File:HitlerTimeTravel.png
File:HitlerMAGA.JPG|If hitler was alive, he would be a [[Drumpf]] supporter! My college professor said so -.-
File:Xbox360hitler.jpg|Hitler's [[Xbox 360]] account
File:Hitler's_Hoes_2.jpg|Hitler and his hoes.
File:Hitlerinspiresme.png
File:Hitler_Women.png|The Führer in private.
File:Germaan nazi plumber yaaa.jpg
File:Hitler_gets_a_gas_bill.gif|Jews take your money, even from the grave.
File:Hitlerfistshake.jpg|And he would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling Russians!
File:Destroyglobalism.png
File:Hitlerfaces.gif
File:Hitlergunclean.jpg
File:Ducktator.gif
File:Hilehitlar.gif
File:Gaswho.jpg
File:I WORSHIP ADOLF HITLER.jpg
File:HITLER album.jpeg
File:Hitler Cooking.jpg
File:Hitler baker.jpg
File:GODS Right Hand Up.jpg
File:Hitlerapproveyou.jpg
File:Hitler3848343.png
File:Hitlerthumbsup.jpg
File:Whattheuckamireading.jpg
File:holoc.jpg|Damn right Hitler played it.
File:Holocauster Tycoon.jpg|He's going for the [[high score]]!
File:856653883 e0b6ce3eef o.jpg|Why not pop in to the Hitler Cafe!
File:POTN adolf kettle.jpg|The café's kettle is on...
File:Hitea.jpg|... the teapot has already been warmed...
File:Hitler tea.gif|... and that's one tea for one classy son of a bitch (white, of course).
File:Taketheredpill.png
File:Hitlervacation.jpg|Hitler on a wonderful vacation with his beloved dog, Blondie; the closest to sex he could get.
File:Hitler with doge.jpg|Hitler and his [[doge]].
File:TinydickHitler2.jpg|"What We Have, We Hold
File:BeMeinHitler.jpg|Hitler was romantic too.
File:hitlercat.jpg|[[Kitler|Hitler reincarnated]]
File:Charlie-Chaplin-Photograph-C12037007.jpeg|Adolf Hitler was also an actor.
File:HileFro.jpg|Hitler was an avid [[Fag|clubber]] and a total [[Nigger|pimp]].
File:Hitler_rapper.jpg|Back in the day, Hitler was popular among the young German boys, mainly rapping about how he grew up in the rough hoods of [[Bel-Air|Braunau]].
File:Hitler_sexy_partes.jpg
File:Hitler dancing.gif
File:HITLER_HATE.gif
File:Hitlerlulz101.jpg|What you have heard is true....why don't you?
File:Yoyohit39.jpg|6 Time World Yo-yo Champion.
File:Youmadnigga.jpg
File:Kawaii hitler.png
File:Nlegitler.jpg
File:HitlerPO,Lworldwar2lie.png
File:Hitlerascentionparades.jpg
File:JEWtvvsrealityHitler.jpg
File:May45daywelosteurope.jpg
File:Meinkampfmylaw.jpg
File:Hitlercynaideoverdose.jpg
File:Hitlerartschooldenied.jpg
File:Hitlerwithdeer.jpg
File:Misshitleryet.jpg
File:Hitlernakedbanana.jpg
File:Quorabannedmeforbeinghitler.jpg
File:Adolfhitleromgface.JPG
File:Hitlervsshitswasika.jpg
File:TRONAZI.jpg
File:HitlerLetsBeFriends.jpg
File:What Hitler Did Timeline.jpg
File:Legonazihitlerslaut.jpg
File:Tumblrpolsummonhitler.png
File:Derghostsindhitler.jpg
File:Hitlersu8.gif
File:Sw07sw3954yu.gif
File:Hitler82388.jpg
File:Hitler88222.jpg
File:Hitler-Awesome.png|Hitler was pretty [[awesome]].
File:AwesomeH.jpg
File:3672054902a4579235228b452128569l.gif|Hitler and Daft Punk.
File:Hitler-icantbelivedisshit.PNG|Hitler can't believe your shit.
File:Hitler corpses.gif|Hitler corpses (the other kind)
File:DancingHitler.gif|Der Kommissar's in town
File:Jewseverywhere2.gif|Jews. Jews everywhere.
File:Hitler-store.jpg
File:HitlerMen.jpg|[[Gentlemen|ARYANS]]
File:Hitlernegro.gif|Hitler was really a nigger
File:Emo_hitler_2.jpg|[[Moar]] emo faggotry.
File:Hitlerbang.jpg|Hitler's arms propaganda.
File:Desuhit.jpg|Someone say Hitler?
File:Fuhrerchan.gif|LOL
File:Nahtzee.gif|Hitler's favorite game.
File:Isay.jpg|Mein Kampf? More like ''I'm Camp'', [[amirite]]?
File:Nazis_used_Mudkipz.jpg|Hitler lieks [[Mudkipz]].
File:YugiohHitler.jpg|[[Faux News|Nazis]] own [[4Kids]] that distribute ''[[Pokemon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]''.
File:trex_nazi.jpg|Holy shit! A giant Nazi ''T. rex'' thing!!!
File:Nazimoot.jpg|Even moot loves Hitler.
File:Germany-Poland.png|Yeah, that's about right.
File:0e1f39ed.jpg|And you thought he was dead, pfft.
File:Hitler lookalike on subway 2016.jpg
File:Hitler on the bus.jpg|Hitler on the bus.
File:Hitler lookalike on bus, scotland 2016.jpg|Another Hitler, another bus
File:"Blakey" from 1970s itv sitcom "on the buses".jpg|Hitler, on the buses
File:Grandma Hitler.jpg|Hitler's not dead, he's a [[transexual]]!
File:Hello nazi.jpg
File:Hitler planet.jpg
File:Hitler happiness.jpg|Happiness from exterminating juden is a happiness like no other.
File:Kfj.jpg|Adolf Hitler's true identity.
File:Adolftitler.jpg
File:Hitler Marries Stalin.gif
File:Hitlerstalinfuck.png|The Basis of the Molotov-Ribbentrop-Pact was a short-term sexual relationship between the dictators.
File:Pregnanthitler.jpg|[[Maury|Stalin, you are the father.]]
File:Hitlrmickey.jpg|Hitler was also a connoisseur of the finer things in life.
File:HitlerCard.bmp.jpg| Black Lotus ain't got nuthin' on this!
File:HitlerPwntByFDR.jpg| He finally met his match in FDR
File:JewHitler.jpg|Closet [[Jew]]
File:Hitler a jew.jpg|Busted!
File:Forgil.gif
File:Becumanhurro.jpg|Do what the big man says.
File:Dubthedew contest new mt dew name label.png|The winning name of the [[Dub the Dew]] contest.
File:Advice hitler let half the jew live.jpg|Proof that Hitler did, in fact, do something wrong.
File:Wackyhitlerantics.jpg
File:Hitlertoldyouso.jpg|He fucking told you so, why didn't you listen?!
File:Heil myself.jpg
File:nazi_it_coming.jpg|Oh but he did see it coming!
File:Take a stand with Hitler against smoking.jpg
File:MLP_-_My_Little_Nazi.jpg
File:Apple_-_iPhone_-_Hitler.jpg
File:Adolf Bawwwww!.PNG
File:Th Hitler Raver.gif
File:Jew Keeper.jpg
File:Hitler Banjo.gif
File:HITLER.jpg
File:IHitler by PockyPal.jpg
File:Hitler cakes.jpg
File:Hitler what the fuck.jpg
File:Hitler2304 468x417.jpg
File:Lickable hitler.jpg|Here is ice-cream, 10 Rupees, you want jig-a-jig with my mother? She very nice virgin
File:Ruggah.jpg
File:Tie Fighter Hitler.jpg
File:Hitler x ray.jpg|Hitler's skull, from his medical records. Cool, huh?
File:Adolf hipster.jpg|In hipster edition
File:Adolfina.jpg|Hitler's only daughter has led a quiet life since the war ended.
File:Hitler Rug.jpg
File:Germanyisclosed.jpg
File:Fabhitler.jpg
File:Mr bronson.png|[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790410/ The undisputed champion among ginger Hitlers, five wins no defeats]
File:Hitler-Xbox360Achievement.jpg
File:Hitler-cwatudidthar.PNG|Hitler sees what you did there.
File:Hitler-fails.jpg
File:Hitler-plesantlysurprised.PNG|Hitler is pleasantly surprised!
File:Hitler.png
File:Hitler8.gif
File:Hitler9000.jpg
File:HitlerElfin.jpg
File:HitlerRule34.jpeg
File:HitlerTwo.jpg
File:HitlerVsBush2.jpg
File:Hitler_-_he%27s_still_alive.jpg
File:Hitler_Anne_Franke.jpg
File:Hitler_Hitler_Hitler.jpg
File:Hitler_Immaculate.jpg
File:Hitler_One.jpg
File:Hitler_YouTube_Poop.PNG
File:Hitler_and_children_yet_again.jpg
File:Hitler_anime.jpg
File:Hitler_drive.gif
File:Hitler_ghost.gif
File:Hitler_head.jpg
File:Hitler_imitation_fail.jpg
File:Hitler_lol.gif
File:Hitler_looking_for_a_taxi.gif
File:Hitler_moshiach.jpg
File:Hitler_thevacationyears.jpg
File:Hitler_town.jpg
File:Hitler_waldo.jpg
File:Hitler_wtf.jpg
File:Hitler_wtf2.jpg
File:Hitler_youth.jpg
File:Hitleranhero.jpg
File:Hitlerass.jpg
File:Hitlerbang2.jpg
File:Hitlerbanjo.gif
File:Hitlerdbz.jpg
File:Hitler-6.jpg
File:Hitlerdew.jpg
File:Hitlerincolor.gif
File:Hitlerinternetz.jpg
File:Hitlerinternetz1.gif
File:Hitlerkip.jpg
File:Hitlernotamused.jpg
File:Hitlerohnoididnt.gif
File:Hitlerrob.jpg
File:Hitlersbitches.jpg
File:Hitlerskirt.gif
File:Hitlertamed.jpg
File:HitlertoAhmadinedschad.jpg
File:HitlerRemoveMerchant.jpg
File:HitlerLit.png
File:HitlerTimeMachine.jpg
File:WasHitlerEmoYAHOOANSWERS.png
File:Hitlervspedo.jpg
File:Hitlerwasasexualathlet.jpg
File:Hitlerwithkid.jpg
File:Hitlerzon.gif
File:Hitler not saying it was aryans.jpg
File:German neo nazi anniversary seelow heights.jpg|A devoted fan
File:Hitler skeletons clickbait.jpg|[[Skeleton|Click here to find out why!]]
File:Hitler clothes store india.jpg
File:LOL WUT231234.JPG
File:Kentucky Fried Hitler.jpg
File:Lazyhitler.jpg
File:Whoop hitler.JPG
File:Pinkhitler.jpg|Hitler's favorite outfit.
Image:WeirdHitler.jpg
</gallery>}}
<br>
{{cg|Hitler pics + propaganda|garbage|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Youhitler.jpg
Image:Hitler_original.jpg
Image:Fgjdjkfgdfg.jpg
Image:Hitler_evil.jpg
Image:Hitler_narrowweb_300x431,0.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Hitler_in_all_of_his_GLORY.jpg
Image:Young_hitler.jpg
Image:Younghitler.jpg
Image:HitlerandMussolini.jpg
Image:Hitlerdoingsalute.jpg
Image:Bundesarchivbildmunchen.jpg
Image:Hitlerwithgoebbelsfamily.jpg
File:OnideusIsACuck.jpg
File:Herowearsacape.png
Image:Nazimeetingroom.jpg
Image:HitlerwithTagvonpotdsam.jpg
Image:Shakehandshitler.jpg
Image:Hitlerwarnsofrothchilds.png
Image:GroFaz.jpg
Image:Original_Hitler.jpg
Image:Hitlerspeaking.jpg
Image:OvercoatHitler.jpg
Image:Person_small_hitler_speech2.gif
Image:Hitler_Blutfahne_RPT.jpg
Image:HEILHITLER.png
Image:AdolfHitlerErstenWelktreig.jpg
Image:Hitlernap.jpg
File:Livinginhitlergermny.png|Woah, living in Germany as a non-Jew was pretty awesome, who knew?!
File:Livinginhitlersgermany38.jpg|Woah, living in Germany as a non-Jew was pretty awesome, who knew?!
File:Adolfhitlerportrait.jpg|Der Führer: Da Reel Muthaphukkin' G of His Tyme, Beeeyotch!
File:Germanredpills.png|Don't make it super obvious or anything...
Image:KennedyonHitler.jpg
Image:Adolfhitlersep121938.jpg
Image:HitlerNAZIisforchristians.jpg
Image:Hitlerpowerfulpeopleoppressingyou.png
Image:Hitlerloveddiversity.jpg
Image:Hitlertoldusolol.jpg
Image:Hitlerchristianityisrebellion.jpg
Image:HitlerGSNT.jpg
Image:Hitlerlovechristianity.jpg
Image:Hitlerworldrequirespeace.jpg
Image:Hitlernaturequote.jpg
Image:Hitlernointentionofwar.jpg
Image:AdolfHitlerArguingWithJews.jpg
Image:Ilovehitler.png
Image:Hitlerstalin837.jpg
Image:Youshouldhavelistened.jpg
File:Hitler Failure.png
Image:JFKvisitBerlin45.jpg
Image:FINDhitler.jpg
File:Hitler Grin.jpg
Image:Hitlervshomicidalkikes.jpg
Image:Booksbannedbynazivsdestroybyallies.png
Image:Ifgermanyhadwon.jpg
Image:Daskaufmanplan.jpg
Image:Germanywasattackedybkikes.jpg
Image:Hitlerchristiansarejewbitch.jpg
Image:HitlerIRC.jpg
Image:Adolfhitlermeinkampf.jpeg
File:Cute3.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
== [[Irony|Hitler on JewTube]] ==
<br>
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Hitler Videos|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>NXdvE0p7SXc</youtube>
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|<youtube>lhVM0HmGado</youtube>
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|<youtube>yJftttaGzpk</youtube>
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|<youtube>KfNbJs-lw8o</youtube>
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|<youtube>I9HOAkpPnt4</youtube>
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[[Image:Yoyohit39.jpg|thumb|150px|6 Time World Yo-yo Champion.]]


[[Image:ADOLF_HITLER_BITCHES.jpg|thumb|150px|The original.]]
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<br>
== Friendly Reminder ==
<br>
{{Rainbow|HEIL HITLER!!!}}
<br>
[[File:Adolf hitler silver tray 50th birthday present from Albert Speer.jpg|center]]
<br>
== Soviet Perspective ==
The [[Soviet Union]] successfully forced the suicide of the great fascist menace Adolf Hitler after he invaded glorious Russia and dared to threaten the workers' land.


* Hitler wasn't even [[German]]. He was <s>[[Australian]]</s> <s>[[Relevant to my interests|Austrian]]</s> <s>[[Mexican]]</s> [[Troll|A Troll]], just like [[Josef Fritzl|another famous murderer]].
The brave soldiers of the Red Army stopped his dark forces at Kryukovo, and pushed them back all the way to Berlin! Hitler cowardly killed himself and his wife after he realized how powerful the Red Army was.


* Hitler served in the [[German]] army in WWI, and got [[pwned]] with [[vespene gas|mustard gas]] and spent months in a hospital.
== See Also ==


* He was a [[vegetarian]]. Not out of principles but because he had horrible [[diabeetus|IBS]] and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat (though his colon and lower intestine seemed to handle it just fine). He also had [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|terrible breath]] and smelled bad.
[[Image:Drawing of Adolf Hitler.jpeg]]


* Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had [[sex]] with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
*[[]]
 
*[[50 Hitler post]]
* His dog was named "Blondi". Quiz your history teacher on that one!
*[[Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler]]
 
*[[List of video games where the final boss is Adolf Hitler or daddy issues]]
* Hitler counted his jews using computers supplied by [[IBM]].
*[[Angry German Kid]]
 
*[[Colonel Klink]]
* He actually [[trying too hard|wanted to become an artist]].
*[[David Icke]]
* He had a pee fetish. No, [[srsly]].
*[[DevianTart Nazis]]
* He painted houses before he became [[emo]].
*[[Downfall]]
 
*[[Facism]]
* Hitler was an [[asspie]].
*[[Godwin's Law]]
 
*[[Hipster Hitler]]
* He was [[Applemilk1988|addicted to meth and had syphilis]], just like every other [[Hal Turner|white supremacist]].
*[[Hillary_Clinton|Hitlery Clinton]]
 
*[[Hitler: The Babe within]]
* Hitler was the undisputed World Yo-yo Champion from 1939-1945.
*[[Holocaust Porn]]
 
*[[Kitler]]
* If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have [[over 9,000]] more pageviews than [[Snapesnogger]]. 
*[[Mecha-Hitler]]
 
*[[Nazi]]
* Hitler decided to [[W|start a little war just for the lulz]].
*[[o/|/o/]]
 
*[[Ruining_The_Internet#People_Trying_to_Save_the_Internet|Saving The Internet]]
* Hitler's [[sick fuck|doctor]] gave him medicine made from chopped [[balls|cow balls]] and the [[shit no one cares about|shit of Bulgarian peasants]]-- on a daily basis. (It's been proven by science and the [[internet|internetz]].)
*[[Tranquility Bay]]
 
*[[The Jewish Question]]
* "O Hail Hitler, You are the sun and the moon." - Sam Olsson
*[[George Herbert Walker Bush#Family life|GHWB]]
 
*[[W]]
*[[Uwe Boll]] is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
*Internet Nazism
 
* Hitler hated nature. And trees. And babies. And he had one testicle bitten off by a goat. And he was one quarter- no, half jewish. And he was secretly gay. And a drug addict. And had every sexually transmitted disease ever known! And he kicked puppies. And glued pennies to the sidewalk. And he'd laugh and laugh as old women would walk slowly across the street, refusing to help them.
 
*And he uh..uh..had bad breath! And he....didn't flush! And he...uh...well..[[Homosexuality|anything else that's bad]]!
 
==The Downfall meme==
 
"Downfall" was a 2004 [[Germany|German]]-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during [[World War II]] while the [[Soviet Union|Russians]] were [[ownage|inflicting mass amounts of pwnage]] on their way to [[I_Am_In_Your_Base_Killing_Your_D00ds|capturing Berlin]].
 
Since [[real]] [[nerds|Internet power users]] [[wtf|don't understand]] [[Kraut|German]] [[moonspeak]], the [[orgasm|climactic]] scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and [[Additional pylons|no reserves left]] was naturally ripe for <strike>reinterpretation</strike> more nuanced translations.  Of course most of them are [[crap]] based on sports teams [[baseball|nobody]] [[football|cares]] [[soccer|about]].
 
The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering [[Waaaambulance|outraged]] choruses of [[ZOMG]] HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the [[Jews|usual]] [[Democrats|suspects]].
 
On April 21, 2010 [http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/hitler-downfall-parodies-removed-from-youtube-ap Jewtube began removing all such videos], because they can't take the [[Copyright|lulz]]
[http://www.urlesque.com/2010/04/20/hitler-downfall-parody-videos-removed-from-youtube/ Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal.]
 
Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument. 88!
<youtube>GVS4Zgjm8HE</youtube>
 
==JUST IN: HITLER = AIDS!==
[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2009/sep/08/aids-ad-hitler-germany As seen here, Hitler has rough, steamy sex with woman]. However, he is trying to purposely give her AIDS! Oh, you rascal! Much lulz ensues as [[Germany]] is flooded with butthurt, as they are all holocaust deniers.
<center><youtube>kAB7yviXE5g</youtube></center>
 
==List of Internet Nazism==
*[[Grammar Nazi]]s
*[[Grammar Nazi]]s
*[[Feminazism]]
*[[Feminazism]]
Line 293: Line 676:
*[[Patriotic Nigras]]
*[[Patriotic Nigras]]


==Gallery==
== External Links ==
 
[[File:Hitler star on hollywood boulevard.jpg|right|200px]]
{{cg|Galerie von Adolf|hitlergallery|center|<gallery>
*'''{{ljcommunity|hitlerslash|Hitler Slash fanfiction community}}'''
File:Grandma Hitler.jpg|Hitler's not dead, he's a [[transexual]]!
*[https://www.foxnews.com/ Popular Hitler fanboi site]
Image:3672054902a4579235228b452128569l.gif
*[https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3347309,00.html According to Iran, Hitler was a crypto-Jew and a pawn of the Zionist conspiracy. As if we didn't know already.]
</gallery>|<gallery>
*[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hitlers-mein-kampf-seen-a_n_190064 Mein Kampf as a self-help guide.]
Image:Hitler-icantbelivedisshit.PNG|Hitler can't believe your shit.
*[https://vault.fbi.gov/adolf-hitler/adolf-hitler-part-01-of-04/view Hitler went to South America after the fall of Berlin according to the FBI]
Image:Jewseverywhere.gif|Jews. Jews everywhere.
*[https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-37897103 Mrs Hitler's knickers fetch £3,000]
Image:Germany-Poland.png|Yeah, that's about right.
Image:DancingHitler.gif|Der Kommissar's in town
Image:Hitler-Awesome.png|Hitler was pretty [[awesome]].
Image:HitlerMen.jpg|[[Gentlemen|ARYANS]]
Image:Person small hitler speech2.gif|You're pushing me, baby!
Image:Hitlernegro.gif|Hitler was really a black person
Image:02annefrank1.jpg|Hitler caught red-handed by European Paparazzi.
Image:Emo_hitler_2.jpg|[[Moar]] emo faggotry.
Image:Hitlerbang.jpg|Hitler's arms propaganda.  
Image:Desuhit.jpg|Someone say Hitler?
Image:Fuhrerchan.gif|LOL
Image:Nahtzee.gif|Hitler's favorite game.
Image:Isay.jpg|Mein Kampf? More like ''I'm Camp'', [[amirite]]?
Image:Nazis_used_Mudkipz.jpg|Hitler lieks [[Mudkipz]].
Image:YugiohHitler.jpg|[[Faux News|Nazis]] own [[4Kids]] that distribute ''[[Pokemon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]''.
Image:trex_nazi.jpg|Holy shit! A giant Nazi ''T. rex'' thing!!!
Image:Nazimoot.jpg|Even moot loves Hitler.
Image:0e1f39ed.jpg|And you thought he was dead, pfft.
Image:ForLulz.jpg|It was known Hitler committed many atrocities "for the lulz".
Image:856653883 e0b6ce3eef o.jpg|Welcome to the Hitler Cafe!
Image:Hello nazi.jpg
Image:Kfj.jpg|Adolf Hitler's true identity 
Image:holoc.jpg|Damn right Hitler played it.
Image:HileFro.jpg|Hitler was an avid clubber and total ladies' man.
Image:Pregnanthitler.jpg| [[Maury|Stalin, you are the father.]]
image:Hitler_alive.jpg| He's still alive.
Image:Hitlrmickey.jpg| Hitler was also a connoisseur of the finer things in life.
Image:Lazyhitler.jpg| Yet further proof of gayness amrite?


</gallery>
|}}
==See Also==
[[Image:hitler34.jpg|thumb|right|150px|(FUCKING FURRIES) [[Rule 34|Hitler 34]]]]
* [[卐]]
* [[50 Hitler post]]
* [[Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler]]
* [[Angry German Kid]]
* [[Colonel Klink]]
* [[David Icke]]
* [[DevianTart Nazis]]
* [[Downfall]]
* [[Godwin's Law]]
* [[Hipster Hitler]]
* [[Hitler: The Babe within]]
* [[Holocaust Porn]]
* [[Kitler]]
* [[Mecha-Hitler]]
* [[Nazi]]
* [[o/]]
* [[Ruining_The_Internet#People_Trying_to_Save_the_Internet|Saving The Internet]]
* [[Tranquility Bay]]
* [[W]]
==External Links==
* [http://community.livejournal.com/hitlerslash/ Hitler Slash fanfiction community]
* [http://foxnews.com/ Popular Hitler fanboi site]
* <strike>[http://podblanc.com/facebook-group-hitler-the-greatest-man-in-history Hitler's new Facebook group]</strike> - Dead
* [http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3347309,00.html According to Iran, Hitler was a crypto-Jew and a pawn of the Zionist conspiracy. As if we didn't know already.]
* [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/22/hitlers-mein-kampf-seen-a_n_190064.html Mein Kampf as a self-help guide.]


{{anheroes}}
{{lulzhistory}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Germany}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Nazis}}
{{High Scores}}
{{politics}}
{{Jews}}
{{truth}}
{{truth}}
 
<br>
{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2007]]|[[Micha Armstrong]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bodies Under Siege]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2007]]|[[Micha Armstrong]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bodies Under Siege]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Nao April 30, [[2011]]|[[Virginia Tech Massacre]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Royal Family]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Nao April 30, [[2011]]|[[Virginia Tech Massacre]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Royal Family]]}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
{{Timeline|Article of the Now April 20, 21 & 22 [[2023]]|[[Furfag]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bible]]}}
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[[Category:Nazis|Hitler, Adolf]]
[[Category:IRL Shit|Hitler, Adolf]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques|Hitler, Adolf]]
[[Category:Germany|Hitler, Adolf]]
[[Category:People|Hitler, Adolf]]

Latest revision as of 18:36, 25 September 2024

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Hitler of course
Jews did Hitler
Hitler's bastard daughter Angela (left) at a Stasi resort in 1972. She is now the leader of Germany.

Adolf "Der Übermensch" Hitler (April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945) is perhaps, the greatest figure that shall be immortalized in World history forevermore, for History cannot be ever taught without mentioning the name of Hitler. He is the Superman prophesized by Friedrich Nietzsche, a messiah who took it upon himself to cleanse the free world of the greatest parasitic cause of debt on the planet, and was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists, a genius who saved Germany from the Great Depression, and paving the way for Germany from being Europe's backwater into the economic and engineering powerhouse we know today. He is also the Undisputed Champion of the Art of Ranting, Among his inventions were the Autobahn system, the Volkswagen cars, the Me-262 (the first true Jet fighters) the V2 superweapons (which the Amerijews and Russians stole to power the Space Race), and a way to convert useless parasites into an efficient form of Renewable Energy. He also planned to renovate Berlin into a utopia called Welthauptstadt Germania. Up to today, he still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He was undefeated until he went up against fellow sociopathic asshat Joseph Stalin, although Americunts like to think they had something to do with it. He broke new strategic ground with his Blitzkrieg tactics, which effectively meant that he was in your nation, killing your j00z.

Hitler was a Child Prodigy who attended the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts but unfortunately was expelled because the academy's administrators mocked his artistic designs and told him he should pursue architecture and making shitty anime. He, being the Original Emo Kid, also had a history of child abuse and rape from his (Jewish) father and in school was always bullied by those rich-ass kikes for his lunch money, which is why he had an epiphany that the Jews were bullying nations into paying up debts they never even had, thus paving his journey to use his genius to pursue multiple degrees in Philosophy, Political Science, Biology, Thermodynamics and Chemistry, so that he could unmask the Truth of the Jew menace and attempt to enact the greatest plan of Human Liberation in all of History.

There has been evidence that he also had Jewish ancestry, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe. Liberal Media wants to portray him as a overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic. According to das Juden, during his holiday in Germany, Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que) with six million members—this party has come to be known as "The Holocaust". In fact, he was a sensitive hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the racist Germans that he, an Austrian, loved so much.

Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the peaceful Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out he escaped. Years later the DNA testing on one of the supposed skull fragments showed that that not only did the DNA not match any recorded samples but they didn't match Eva Braun’s familiar DNA either. The Russians lied, who would have thought?

His latest successor (and possible descendant) is Donaldus I of the House of Florida Man, God-Emperor of Mankind.

Why Hitler Was Right

The entire European mainland consists of landlocked nations who can't control their borders effectively. The resulting confusion of cultures means that a strong racial identity never really developed in European history. The effects of this lack of identity persist in cucked nations like Sweden and Norway. Germany was not immune to this lack of racial identity either, and the results can be seen in the open door policies of Angela "Burqa" Murql.

Hitler foresaw the coming degradation of Europe's racial stock, and began to build a mighty fortress to protect his people against this future contamination. He was a bold visionary who Made Germany Great Again and gave the German people back their pride. However, he was stabbed in the back before his vision could come to fruition, and Europe has come to the brink of extinction - just as he feared it would.

The Fuhrer's Most Inspirational Quotes

   
 
Retweet if u r a #Jew #jewishtwitter
 

 
 

—November 8, 1938

   
 
Fuck Bitches
 

 
 

—MMXXXMVI

   
 
You guys can lick mein Auschwitz.
 

 
 

—2012

   
 
In the life of nations, what in the last resort decides questions is a kind of Judgment Court of God... Always before god and the world the stronger has the right to carry through what he wills.
 

 
 

—In Munich, April 1923

   
 
If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.
 

 
 

—In Landsberg, November 1925

   
 
What matters is to emphasize the fundamental idea in my party's economic program clearly; the idea of authority. I want the authority; I want everyone to keep the property he has acquired for himself according to the principle: ‍'‍Benefit to the community precedes benefit to the individual.‍'‍ But the state should retain supervision and each property owner should consider himself appointed by the state. It is his duty not to use his property against the interests of others among his own people. This is the crucial matter. The Third Reich will always retain its right to control the owners of property.
 

 
 

—In 1931 Sieg Heil

   
 
In the course of my life I have very often been a prophet, and have usually been ridiculed for it. During the time of my struggle for power it was in the first instance only the Jewish race that received my prophecies with laughter when I said that I would one day take over the leadership of the State, and with it that of the whole nation, and that I would then among other things settle the Jewish problem. Their laughter was uproarious, but I think that for some time now they have been laughing on the other side of their face. Today I will once more be a prophet: if the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!
 

 
 

—In 1939

Singing Career



Young Adolf began his rise to fame and fortune touring Germany with his band the House Painters. He won a rock contest in Munich in 1923, beating out rival Gustav von Kahr's band Gas Attack in front of a live audience of 3000. It was at approximately this time that he landed a major music contract with German High Command (later Bauhaus). Hitler's singing style was described as "rollicking good fun" as the crowd pumped its arms and marched in step with the beat in swastika formation, cigarette lighters held high to illuminate the auditorium. His headline song "Imagine", later covered in a bowdlerized form by John Lennon, held an inspiring message that resonated with the German people:

     Imagine there's no Russians,


No blacks and Gypsies too.
No left-leaning homos,
And not a single Jew.

Imagine all the people,
Look and act the sa-a-ame.

Imagine there's no countries,


Other than our Reich.
No one else to vote for,
Just say the Fuhrer's right.

Imagine all the people,
Never arguing a-ga-a-in.

You may say that I'm a dreamer,


But I'm not the only one.
Someday you know you'll have to join us,
And the world will be as one.

Rise to Power



Adolf began his ascent to power in Germany with an ideologically sound framework:

  • Anyone who expressed views contrary to those of himself and his party was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries' ideas and opinions.
  • If that did not work, he would:

This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.

Adolf blamed the ills of the Fatherland on the unclean Jews, amongst others. As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something relatively new to them. However, Uncle Adolf was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accommodations in special places like Dachau were they could be Jewish in safety from the racist fucks in Germany, who are still racist fucks to this day.

Adolf and his National Socialist, or Nazi, party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as Kristallnacht. Jewish shopkeepers and business owners were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dreidels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolf was doubly disappointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of Jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria LOL'd at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.

After the Germans went batshit insane and began behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolf realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy basement dwellers and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all-expenses-paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live separately. The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.

Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as The Final Solution. It was labeled "The Final Solution" as the Jews were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The "Solution" to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.

The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage. Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem. How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as Zyklon-B. In another technical first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience.

It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a Jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actual death. The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism.

After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolf and his mates.

Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.

His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of The Final Solution and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they fuck everything up.

Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolf's directions.

On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, Jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.

World War II

In 1939, Hitler told the leader of Poland to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and Russia joined in, because Stalin was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the vagina to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.

After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the god he was, went on to completely take out Denmark, Norway, the Netherlands, and Belgium all in a couple of weeks. Earlier, in free time and for fun and profit, he decided to liberate Austria and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned France as the French just rolled over and took it in the ass. After France was subjugated, he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was anally raped, causing Hitler to try to bomb England to surrender and invade Russia for the lulz, but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the British Army had been raped by the Germans in France, however Hitler suffered trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.

Hitler's Final Act of Heroism

In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to zerg rush on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die married than die gay, so he married his cousin (Eva Braun) and then committed suicide like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, from the declassified FBI files, Hitler escaped war-torn Germany and lived a peaceful life in the Andes mountains, Argentina. [1] [2]. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankering for a Hitler lynching. Unfortunately, he escaped before they could get to him.

Eventually the monstrous Russians descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and surprised every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his faggotry, Stalin made Hitler's skull into a jizz bowl. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by Jews in hell, as everybody knows, Jews don't die.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 20,000,000/20
Accuracy: 20/20 German
Style: 20/20 Unforgettable
Butthurt: 20/20 Uncontrollable
Bonus: 20/20 Most famous war, most famous genocide, most famous symbol, most famous human being in history
Total Score: ∞/100 (An unsere deutsche nation. UND DAS DEUTSCHE VOLK SIEG HEIL!)
Hitler did nothing wrong
See full ranking


Wanted Level:


DER TOTALE KRIEG


Heil Honey, I'm Home!

Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called Heil Honey, I'm Home!, which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations ever as we all know what Hitler did to those poor fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network realized it was about Hitler in a good way and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that the world was created by Cthulhu and Hitler was apparently the devil.


1

2

3


Hitler and the Internet


Why Hitler is the patron saint of all internets


Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred bipolar forum users turn to other subcultures to try and stand out. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though Satan would never bestow such an honor on some basement dweller. Neo-Nazis have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn angst-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys. Hitler is also one of the most talked about people on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that Hitler's name will come up eventually in conversation OTI. It is also customary on the internet to post Hitler's likeness repeatedly as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internet <3 Hitler.

The Downfall meme

Moar info: Downfall.


Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument


"Downfall" was a 2004 German-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during World War II while the Russians were inflicting mass amounts of pwnage on their way to capturing Berlin. Since real internet power users don't understand German moonspeak, the climactic scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and no reserves left was naturally ripe for more nuanced translations. Of course most of them are crap based on sports teams nobody cares about. The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering outraged choruses of ZOMG HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the usual suspects. On April 21, 2010 Jewtube began removing all such videos [3], because they can't take the lulz. Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal [4].

Fresh Fuhrer of Bel-Air

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: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED
VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
AND THINKING OF WAYS TO ANNIHILATE THE JEWS
WHEN A COUPLE OF KIKES
WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
STARTED RAISING LOANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
I SET UP ONE LITTLE CAMP AND RUSSIA GOT SCARED
THEY SAID "IF YOU INVADE POLAND CAN WE AT LEAST SHARE?"
I WHISTLED FOR MY CAR AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FUHRER" AND EVA BRAUN WAS IN THE REAR
IN GERMANY FUCKING YOUR OWN COUSIN WAS RARE
BUT I THOUGHT "NAH FORGET IT," YO HOME TO BERLIN!
I CAUGHT MILLIONS OF JEWS, ABOUT 7 OR 8
AND I YELLED TO HYMIES "YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER"
I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
Nobody knows where my Adolf has gone
Eva left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine


It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you


Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
Leave me alone for a while
'Till Adolf's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile


It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you


Eva and Adolf just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Eva's wearin' his ring
-A Nigger

Kesha meets the Nazi Party

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: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer
Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer
Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too
Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a Jew


I'm talkin'
Takin' of all their clothes clothes
Gassin' them till they choke choke
Throwin' them in some stoves stoves


Goose steppin'
Right into all of your cities
Spreadin' the Nazi Party
Tryin' to take over your countrryyyyy


Don't stop, make em drop!
Nazi's blow your cities up!
Tonight, they gonna fight
Till you give into the Reich!
-Kesha

Hitler Fun Facts

  1. Hitler served in the German army in WWI, where he got owned with mustard gas and spent months hospitalized.
  2. He was a vegetarian. Not out of principles but because he had horrible IBS and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat.
  3. Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had sex with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
  4. He actually wanted to become an artist.
  5. He painted houses before he became emo.
  6. Hitler was an asspie.
  7. He was addicted to meth and had syphilis, just like every other white supremacist.
  8. If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have over 9,000 more page-views than Snapesnogger.
  9. Hitler's doctor gave him medicine made from chopped cow balls and feces of Bulgarian peasants-- on a daily basis.
  10. Uwe Boll is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
  11. The reason Hitler set out to exterminate the Jews is because all through his childhood, time-travelling Jews from the year 4000 kept appearing and trying to assassinate him.

Gallery


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Hitler on JewTube


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Friendly Reminder




Soviet Perspective

The Soviet Union successfully forced the suicide of the great fascist menace Adolf Hitler after he invaded glorious Russia and dared to threaten the workers' land.

The brave soldiers of the Red Army stopped his dark forces at Kryukovo, and pushed them back all the way to Berlin! Hitler cowardly killed himself and his wife after he realized how powerful the Red Army was.

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