User:Andrés/Chris-chan/es

Este artículo esta pagado por contribuyentes como tú

Esta persona tiene Sindrome de Assburger,
así que no puedes decir nada malo! :-(

Recuerda eso, idiota insensible.

Chris-chan Subpage Navigation

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The Internets	Sonichu Comics • Videos • Wikipasta • Galleries • Returns • Vidya Drama
Chris IRL	People • Places • ED Timeline
Virgin with Rage	The Crazy Pacer • Male Lesbian • JUUULLLAAY!!1! • Caught Fappin'
E-Mail Hax	Email Hax
Sagas	Megan Saga • Troll Archives • The Real Chris-chan • Asperchu • Tomgirl

Este artículo ha sido limpiado, y era una vuelta al infierno de ida y de vuelta. Por favor, no lo jodas de nuevo.

Dato Divertido: El realmente se viste así en público.

Dato Divertido: El también lleva ese medallón en público.

Damas y caballeros, gays y pajeros, y gente adolescente...

Contemplen el error de Dios: Christian Weston Chandler.

Nació el 24 de Febrero de 1982, Christian es un ignorante, pervertido, obseso, racista, pedófilo, homofóbico, autoproclamado autista virgen y creador de su propia serie de cómics creativamente dibujados, protagonizando Sonichu - su supremamente investigado cruza de razas entre Pikachu y Sonic. Además de "sufrir" autismo, Chris también sufre un caso terminal de auto-importancia inexsistente, la única cura para esa enfermedad es remover su cabeza de su ano severamentepenetrado. En el momento de la escritura de esta página, Chris no ha demostrado tener el tiempo y la convicción para hacer esto.

Otros nombres para Chris-Chan son: CWC, クリスちゃん, el Weston Chandler Mexicano, Ricardo, Ian Brandon Anderson, Ian Brannon ALGO, El Impostor, Sammy, u otros nombres graciosos (lulz) que trolls pueden hacer para él, que harán que él llore.

La característica física mas notable de Chris, además de su obvia corpulencia, es que el lleva un medallón hecho de crayones, SUPER MODELO MÁGICO y pintura acrílica en todos los momentos en homenaje a su re-diseño de Sonic a el amarillo. En Público. Como si eso no fuera suficientemente lamentable, Chris-chan realmente tiene toneladas de mierda de medallones: El blachu (negrochu), y el medallón "Rosechu" (rosachu) (el que planeaba dárselo a su amor), suponiendo que el tiene demasiado tiempo de Ocio en sus manos. Que además, el hace, por que quien mierda se sentaría en su gordo trasero todo el dia para colorear páginas de comics como si no hubiera nada mejor que hacer en sus vidas?

Los hobbies de Christian incluyen crear figuras de My Little Pony, incluyéndose a el mismo como un pony llevando un medallón de Sonichu, seguir mujeres en los centros comerciales, encontrando una mujer libre de novio, para "para hacer corazones que saldrán desde el suelo", dibujar (y subir) fotos de el teniendo teniendo sexo con muchas mujeres de diversas procedenias, dibujar porno de sus erizos, tomar fotos de él mismo desnudo, y hacer el amor con una muñeca inflable llamada [1] (que originalmente se vendió como "Kimmi"). Ahora todo lo que hace es jugar PS3 todo el dia y poner comida rápida en su garganta.

El también se metió en un gran problema cuando su padre lo descubrió masturbándose. Chris realmente necesita crecer y vender sus juguetes en eBay. Pero como sea, nadie compraría su mierda, asi que siempre será un maricón sin novia.

Y se va a poner peor aún, mis amigos...

Dox

Aparte, el gordo idiota decidió doxearse a si mismo. Por si acaso, su dirección es:

14 Branchland Court
Ruckersville, VA 22968
Estados Unidos

Chris se ha doxeado a si mismo en varios videos, usualmente cuando el trata de probar su identidad, o para tener trolls que vayan donde él y combatan contra el en la vida real.

Además mira este video tour por su casa, y las consecuencias de los meses posteriores. Cuando el llora por que hay personas copiando los videos de su casa. Con la aparición de Bob, que estaba paranoico y enojado con Chris, preocupado de que si el Departamento de Salud vería los videos, y cerrar su casa.

http://blip.tv/notyalproductions/chris-chan-house-tour-follow-up-in-its-entirety-5247131

IRL Creepiness

"NAVEGNADO EN MI PIEL, ESTAS HERIDAS- NO CURA-RAAAAAAAN"

En MySpace, Chris posteó su busqueda por una "mujer libre de novio" y his tendencias a perseguir gente. Desafortunadamente para él, cada mujer en el planeta parece tener un novio. Esto a llevado a lo que Chris llama "noviofobia". Chris tiene un miedo paralizante a los novios. Chris dice que odia a cada macho sin contarse a si mismo y a su padre, por que "ellos tomaron todas las chicas lindas dejándolo a él sin capacidad de elegir".

	“	Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, Sarah Hammer, a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician Jerk, Wes Iseli. At first, I was naive about their relationship. Later on, in spring of 2003, I tried to pick up a girl in a class I was taking at Piedmont Virginia Community College, but she told me right-off, that SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia(mentioned above).	„
	—Chris-chan spills the beans

	“	I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion.	„
	— Chris begins his search for a boyfriend-free girl.

	“	As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!	„
	—CWC is foiled in his perennial search for companionship

	“	Chris Chan is destroyer of slanderous LULZ; take that, Encyclopedia Dramatica.	„
	—The long-baleeted MySpace.com/sonichucwc

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Megan shows us how pleasant an experience it truly is being in the presence of Mr. Weston Chandler. Note the fear in her eyes.

He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places: the Fashion Square Shopping Center and Piedmont Virginia Community College. The dean, Mary Lee Walsh, reasonably assumed that Chris was publicly soliciting for sex, had the sign destroyed and banned him from the school for a year. Since then, he became obsessed with her and depicts her within his comic as a bald witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter to contain her evil anti-love powers, and occasionally a broomstick.

Chris has also shown his hatred towards Mary on several other occasions. He made a hilarious video asking for fictional character Harvey Dirdban's (not Birdman) assistance to fight "THAT EVIL BITCH MARY LEE WALSH FOREVAR!!1" in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a video of him fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur III. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous porn of her. You know you want to see it.

Chris's Love Quest was also foiled by Security Guards of Fashion Square Shopping Center. He was handcuffed and kicked out by Jerkops (half jerk, half cops) "for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl".

Christian claims to have started his ill-begotten love quest because he wants a daughter whom he will "dubly" call Crystal Weston Chandler (apparently after the illustrious metal). He made her in the form of one of his My Little Pony figures (from his own pubic hair, mind you), and made a separate file in the game Animal Crossing, and played as her.

The person we know the most about is Megan Schroeder who had a huge influence on the comic and Chris himself. She remarked that the antagonist of one of the Sailor Moon movies came off as "kind of queer", possibly influencing Chris's homophobia.

One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where a girl describes her encounter with Chris as he was wandering stores in search of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed here.

Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; it is speculated that he has fallen in "true love" like 50 times.

Trolled IRL

Trolling of Chris-chan has crossed the OL border into IRL. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker he really is or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain.

The Game Place, a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when anon took several photos of him. See here for Chris QQing.

An old classmate of Chris, Joshua Martinez, did some trolling. Chris knew him from his old school (Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together), recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became extremely jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Note that Chris only values Joshua's friendship because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him he might end up laid. Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will fuck with him. The chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of Vanessa Hudgens. CLICK HERE for Chris-chan unwittingly fapping to Joshua.

Autistic flirting techniques: The CWC Nipple Cripple.

A girl IRL pranked Chris on a fake date. CLICK HERE to see Chris-chan get taken down to 15%.

Though trolling in this next case started online, it quickly moved into IRL. Chris had started a relationship with an e-girlfriend called Blanca. On September 11, 2008, another troll going by the same name was really a black man in a pickle costume and managed to score horrific nudes. WARNING: DON'T LOOK AT IT.

Watch Chris masturbate. No, srsly don't do it. On October 7, 2008, Blanca managed to get the medallions and destroy them.

Chris and health

As you've probably seen from the pictures above Chris is a fat sack of shit but shockingly he didn't always have man tits; only after turning eighteen did he start gaining weight.

Chris's exercise

For years he had not had any real exercise (aside from screaming). As a result, he has pencil thin legs and scrawny arms. Fun fact: A video he made trying the show he can do pull ups shows him struggling to do one. Chris also makes things seem much heavier than they actually are, saying that a box of twelve cans is 50 pounds and he also said his dog house had to of weighed 5-10 tons. Either Chris is terrible at math or that dog house was filled with lead bricks.

Chris in denial

Chris generally believes he is "fit as a fiddle". When confronted by Matt in the infamous "Father Call" about his obesity Chris simply said "I could be healthier". In the same call he gets mad at Matt for saying he was lazy. Matt then pointed out that Chris is ALMOST 30 YEARS OLD, DOES NOT HAVE A JOB, AND LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. Chris responded saying he does work around his house, which is complete bullshit as seen in his house tour.

CWC vs. ED

Upon discovering this article on the 10th of November, Chris suffered a severe case of butthurt and declared war on every site mocking his Truth and Honesty. As with everything in his life, Chris fucked up.

...and it shows!

At first, Chris tried tampering with this article while logged in as Reldnahc which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) spelled backwards. Before erasing the entire article, Chris actually contributed by adding information that he hadn’t submitted anywhere else. Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how Megan “shattered his heart”, and printouts of the Sonichu News Dash: a shitty newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at PVCC that landed him in another apparent conflict with Mary Lee Walsh.

To make matters worse, he also uploaded Rule 34 of his own characters.

Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he snapped. He created another account and tried blanking the page several times.

CWC blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for breaking up the relationship between him and Megan despite the fact that she was never his girlfriend. Just another lying attempt to make ED feel troll's remorse.

In this video, Chris congratulated all his non-existent Sonichu fans whom he mistakenly believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.

Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED flopped because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal on August 14, 2008.

CWC vs. ED Parte Deux

Last Thursday, Chrissy posted a video onto the tubes declaring yet another war against his ED page, demanding that the page and discussion page be deleted, or else he wouldn't be making any more of his sweet, sweet comics for his fans to enjoy. He then stated that much like the old adage: "Too many cooks spoil the broth", ED had too many CROOKS. And that "every single word on his ED page was a crook".

After standing in an anime pose with his fist in the air, Chris then hulked the fuck out and proceeded to beat the shit out of a Raggedy Ann doll with a picture of Clyde Cash taped to its face, and that more RAAAAAAAGE would follow if his ED page wasn't taken down posthaste.

The beast can be unleashed here.

CWCville

CWCville (Pronounced: Quick-ville) is Chris-chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

CWCville is actually two things: a fictional setting for the Sonichu comic, and Chris's long-ongoing pet project - many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. The two things overlap very much. It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and fuck for his amusement exactly like Silent Hill. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what becomes of them, but knowing Chris it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.

In the Sonichu comic book world, the town is allegedly located in the state of Virginia, but being a figment of Chris Chan's imagination, it will never be found on an actual map. Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States. In this city, Chris Chan is a despotic mayor, where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.

Inside the comic, CWCville is at a fierce rivalry with neighboring city of "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens." It is under constant attack from the evil forces of Dean Mary Lee Walsh and her army of Jerkops.

Chris-chan and Morals

After seeing a hilarious episode of Family Guy, where Chris-chan didn't get that he was being parodied for his moralfaggotry, he decided to share his hatred of the gays with the Holy Bible. To do this, he quoted the book of Leviticus, which is the biblical equivalent of goatse, which reinforces how men should not engage in buttsecks lest they be smited to the pits of hell to be raped by the Devil and his minions for eternity (and also that men cannot shave, wear underwear with elastic straps, or crossbreed animals). Chris obviously didn't get the joke from the funny episode. He didn't realize that the character Stewie is just like him in one sense; they are both closet cases.

	“	I'm not saying I'm dumb...or naive.	„
	—Chris, in the process of being both.

Unbeknownst to Chris, prolific hater of all things not Christian, 89% percent of the users trolling Chris-chan are Muslims. In another blow to Chris's moral credibility, he also decided to pick up a book on how to talk to the opposite sex...written by a 9-year-old boy. As the kid wrote it on how to talk to girls of his age, party vans descending on Ruckersville are imminent.

So, in other words: ChrisChan, the most obvious closetcase in all of Virginia, still thinks he is a glorious crusader against the filthy, filthy homos and their filthy, filthy ways, while accidentally being a dang pedofork.

Purge All the ~~Xenos~~ Homos.

Chris and His Ego

there are many examples of Chris having a huge ego probably due to the size of his pickle. these are seen through out his comics, his actions IRL,and in his videos, these are just a few.

Chris thought his birthday should be celebrated nation wide.
Before Chris got banned from The GAMe PLACe he would lug his ps3 there plug it into the flat screen t.v and use it for hours (probably watching gay porn) he also would sing to Britney Spears songs too all before the owner had it, he banned Chris for screaming at a black kid, Chris left and came back later with his parents. Chris tried numerous attempts to get unbanned but all failed.

Chris thinks he is famous but his videos only got a few thousand views and he does not know that most of the people that follow him are dirty damn trolls.
Chris thinks he has over 9000 fans of his videos and comics when in actuality he probably has 3 at the most; the rest are trolls.

Sex Life

Chris Hansen wants you to have a seat over there, Chris.

His "sex life" - if you could even call it that - includes, among other strange phenomena, fucking an anime blow-up doll and screaming "JULAAAY!" at the top of his lungs.

	“	But anyway as I was saying you know, just as you know, when you masturbate, you don't have to use your fingers, you could like, uh, find something that's like, you could use like a banana, or a pickle, I mean, it would be a waste of a fruit, but if you used a banana, you could still eat the insides.	„
	—Chris-chan, on sticking things up his butthole.

Chris wrote to in April of 2005 to discuss the DS game Sprung: A horrible dating simulator, and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. According to him, it was a "free personal", and he expects that it being published will somehow increase his chance of finding a woman.

In both his videos and comics, he has shown contempt towards gays, constantly rambling on about how homosexuality is bad, and repeatedly stating that he is not gay, being that he owns a dildo and anal beads and rambles on about sticking things in his ass while he masturbates. In his list of people he would not date, he lists autistics, high functioning or otherwise. Thus, Chris is also a self-loathing flaming faggot trying desperately to stay in the closet. And we all know homophobes are closeted gays themselves.

Chris appears to be stuck in a strange, child-like mentality where he feels guilty when discussing sex. Because of this, he is forced to use different words, like "pickle" and "duck" for dick, "hanky-panky" for sex, "boyfriend-free" for single, among other things. He started buying sex toys and porno videos back in 2006, and when discussing sex with other people (specifically Megan and a recent troll), he goes into intimate, almost scientific or educational detail. When Megan claimed to be uncomfortable with Chris discussing sex, Chris goes into full detail of how a handjob works and that he has learned everything he knows from pornography.

In recent audio recordings, we have discovered a lot about Chris's sexuality. Namely, he thinks that gender stereotypes, dirty talk, and cheesy lines like, "This might hurt a bit at first" are part of actual sex. One of the audio recordings has him describing his ideal "first time", which is intricate, overly dramatic and mildly retarded. This and many other disturbing things can be read here.

Science Proves that Chris will Never Lose His Virginity

Gallery of Horrors

Chris-chan Subpage Navigation

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The Internets	Sonichu Comics • Videos • Wikipasta • Galleries • Returns • Vidya Drama
Chris IRL	People • Places • ED Timeline
Virgin with Rage	The Crazy Pacer • Male Lesbian • JUUULLLAAY!!1! • Caught Fappin'
E-Mail Hax	Email Hax
Sagas	Megan Saga • Troll Archives • The Real Chris-chan • Asperchu • Tomgirl

Rule 34

Rosechu

Rosechu Nudes About missing Pics

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This retard
has no
sense of
originality whatsoever!
Period!

Chris-Drawn rule 34

Chris-drawn rule 34 About missing Pics

"She has come for me". ~~Poor Crystal~~ Poor Megan.
Looks like he beat us to it.
Bubbles and ~~Blackchu~~ Blake fucking on a spade, further proof that Chris is Not Racist.
Apparently Chris-chan imagines that women's vaginas would cry at the sight of him. For once he is 100% accurate.

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He ruined Mary Lee Walsh!
Contrary to popular belief these ARE NOT PHOTOS, BUT WERE HAND DRAWN BY CHRIS HIMSELF!
Rosechu comic hidden page.
Rosechu pegging Sonichu?
Now with less pickles!
Silvana Rosechu is a dickgirl.
Note how the head of his penis is as large as his head.
Chris drew this to prove he's not a homo

Chris-Chan

SOME OF THESE PICTURES ARE FUCKING DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

N00dz

Chris-chan Noodz About missing Pics

	“	"After absorbing the power of the 7 Chaos Emeralds, Sonichu transforms into his Super-Form where he is invincible beyond compare. He can fly sky-high and has the most powerful Lightining Attacks."	„
	—Chris-chan

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It all started with this E-mail to fake Blanca. fake Blanca asked for noodz, fake Blanca got noodz, Chris threw a shitfit because he didn't want his peepee exposed all over the internet (I didn't save that conversation, sorry) and lulz were had by all.
He wouldn't take Sonichu's head off his shlong at first, seriously. I think he wants Sonichu to give him fellatio.
Only a straight man like Chris believes that a woman wants to see his anus.
He shaves his cock because he asked Megan once how she likes it and she said she preferes shaven men. Also note the telltale redmarks under his moobs. This is evidence that Chris has worn/still wears a bra.
Baby got back!
If you look closely, you can see Sonichu... and your last shred of humanity slip away.
It does also help if you don't jerk off before taking said photos. Noone wants to see your pickle dripping mank in a photo.
Crystal (plus your thousands of brothers and sisters), meet Sonichu!
It is delicious Chris-chan cock, I must put my logo on it. Sad news for you, Chris, that broke-ass fucking thing won't fit in a vagina, unless it's similar in size to a toilet bowl.
Loch ness monster or the queen from Alien? Either way its looking at the camera like its ready to attack.
I spy a tumor IT'S NOT A TOOMAH
Chris-chan fucking what appears to a pool float but is actually his anime sex doll, while calling out "Julie" the name of yet another genuinely interested sonichu girl.
It's CWCspin!
Autistic Dick!
Jerkop? Moar like JERKop, amirite?

Preop pics

Tranny About missing Pics

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Gynecomastia
Fuck you internet.Srsly.
It's a trap!
Chris doing his weird ass cosplay for MLP at a weeaboo convention on August 2015.
We're gonna need a bigger everything to kill it.

Shoops

Shoops About missing Pics

I'm not quite sure but this looks shopped.
Not gay

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Chris-chan's alternate title to his DVD.
Chris-Chan posing as one of his famous relatives.
Why So Serious?
His poor dead dog
Chris Chan celebrating the holiday season
Chris giving his best advice to his fans.
What was going through his mind.
I am disappoint
Chris was so cash
If only Chris-chan was emo.
Even Google attempts to help Chris in his quest to find love.
It's pretty much a given.
A typical day in CWCville.
Chris is a High Functioning Autistic.
Method-acting is Methodical.
Bane

Non-sex photos, very few of these

Non-Sex Photos About missing Pics

A photo of a round, unintelligent object.... and a basketball.
OH GOD I CAN'T UNSEE IT
His younger, thinner, more Street Wise days. NOTE: Leaning against a graffiti covered wall instantly makes you more hip and sexually attractive!
Another image that Chris uploaded to this article. How he ended up in this poor woman's house is a mystery.

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Chris’ greatest achievement is him getting close to a voice actor at an anime convention. Note the fear in her eyes, and the uneasy, forced smile.
Why do I get the feeling that he's into bestiality?

Art

Fanart

Fanart Gallery About missing Pics

Not true, but might as well happen one day.
Chris want woman
Trolls, huh?

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He knew I was the nigga in the picklesuit impersonating Blanca again,yet he still sent me the pictures. It's like he wants the world to laugh at him or something.
Chris-chan has anal sex with Clyde Cash.
The only reasonable and inexpensive idea he could ever fucking think of.
Oh god...
The evil Mary Lee Walsh
He will show you online.
ENHANCED REMAKE
Epic win
E-mail sender's art of Rosechu with pickles.
A man for the women.
Chris-chan in five years.
Sonichu, I . . .
Fatass loser, I . . .
What Chris thinks he looks like
Win!
...I HAD TO CLEAN UP SOME CAT CRAP...
The final battle.
A metaphorical representation of Chris-chan's relationship with Mary Lee Walsh.
Chris Chan in The Dark Knight
Chris-chan: The Animated Series
Rosechu with GOAR pickles.
Found on 4chan's /b/. Depicting the true origin of Sonichu.
Maybe Chris-chan just doesn't like spoofy, fucked-up parodies.
Chris-chan, like many of us, has aspirations.
SONICHU MAH BOI
Christian Can't Enjoy His Badgewich.
"Yo-ho-ho, he took a bite of Autism!"
IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN' PICKLE...
A warning to all anons
Sronikjew Hredgehawg
Rosechu with MOAR Pickles!
Latest Comic!
"OMG ORIGINAL CHARACKTERZ DO NOT STEEL!
Zappin' to the Extreme.
How to change fail into ~~win~~ slightly less fail.
Faggot version.
OC Battle!
He took this advice.
Chris' Imaginary Twin Sister doesn't have a problem with the evil Mary Lee Walsh.
fapfapfap
Chris's mantra. (Dadaism)
Posted on his site's shitty guestbook.
The reason CWC hates black people.
Even Furries don't like Sonichu.
When Sega and Nintendo's dicks collide in the fertile mind of an Ass-pie.
CWC gets his card crushed.
CWC doesn't support gays but he DOES support pedos.
CWC was finally deflowered at the hand of his own creation, ironically.
∗∗∗NEW∗∗∗ Full 3D Rendered FPS. Remember to Reload.
If only Chris-Chan could trip balls, maybe his life wouldn't suck so much.
Sonichu agrees, the wooden badge IS delishus.
Meet him at HIGH NOON.
LET'S GO GHOSTBUSTERS LET'S GO. LET'S GO LET'S GO
Why else would you give someone an outfit?
How the fuck does this work?
It's-a-me! Mariochu!© (Original character)
Chris-Chan loves it when you tell him that Sonichu is a registered trademark of anon.
The best thing about being trolled by ED isn't taking disgusting nudes, it's showing everyone online I did.
Sonockchew
A wild Sonichu has appeared.
Be on the look out for Fruition brand pickles and sugar cookies. YUM!
Hero? Or villain?
We all know how furry CWC is.
Her ovaries are inside of her like you asked...
Patti Chandler, one lucky dog.
Mediocre pic that Chris was impressed by, failing to realise it was troll art
This sums up the recent shenanigans of Chris.
Better times for Chris-Chan.
I love you, Chris-chan.
This is why Chris-Chan can't get a fucking job.
Real Sonichu fanart?
This is how you react to Chris Chan nudes.
She was a true patriot.
Jason Kendrick Howell no longer needs his woman slave!
Sonichu meets Jissouseki!
The perfect gift for your sweetheart this holiday season!
He's obviously a lady's man, in his own mind of course.
This is easier on the eyes
New and approved!
Some Anon made Wiki realise that Jimmy Hill is the One True Sonichu Creator!!!1oneoneone1one1!!!!!
Gather your pickles, it's the last round up partner
Time to swap sexes.
Suck Satan's cock, and perhaps Sonichu will become a reality.
Gentlemen
Artists that suicide become legends Chris :)!
What happened to Megan?
Someone requested a fetish picture of Rosechu. Srs.
Another date stolen!
It will happen eventually.
Chris-chan's "butt garments"
By LittleCloud.
Totally not gay
Bob Chandler
Why So Autistic?
Chief Shits-in-Pants is angry that you have messed with the Cherokees.
Chris Chan collectors card.
Cloudy With a Chance of Pickles.
CWCmas Delivery.
Chris-chan got trolled by Arthur.
Jewgrounds artist's take on Sonichu.
Another jew joins in.
See Asperchu
CTRL ALT Delete made a comic on Chris-chan. Notice the axe.
They're everywhere.
A shoop showing what Chris was really thinking.
I'd hit it,with my pickle.
An artist's rendering of Chris and his true love, Julie.
If Chris had a game, it would be a PS3 exclusive. "NEVAR on HEX BAWX, as Chris would say.
An artists rendition of the Target incident when his pants were pulled down by the jerkops.

Sonichu Remade

Sonichu Remade About missing Pics

Why?
WHY???
God!
Oh, GOD!!!
If only Chris knew...

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Original Art

Original Art Gallery About missing Pics

Wishful thinking will get you nowhere.
"About average... Athletic and toned... Slender..."
"Did you bathe?" "No." Not showering + Axe = LADIES
'May I orbit your belt Orion?'
Racism? In MY Sonichu? Yeah, actually.

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Why do I get the feeling that he wants to suck a dick?
Why do I get the feeling that he wants to fondle balls?
Why do I get the feeling that he's a bondage freak?
Why do I get the feeling that he wants to mongle some cocks?
PLEASE KILL ME
One of the many My Little Pony dolls Chris has made. Burn it with fire!
He "creams" of getting married to his future sweetheart. Author-inserted fantasy much?
There is seriously something wrong with this guy
OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK
"Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?"
Chris on Yahoo! Answers, tryin' to get lucky (and failing.)
Chris makes the front page of his local alt weekly... just not as an hero
Incest fantasy
"Ah, yes, the 'bonus round' of honest, true love and romance..."
This is so stupid it made me rage. (WTF, Lead guitar hero?)
"My furby, Michelle, relieves me until I get laid."
CHRIS = GOD
OH WOW, "Adult Chronicles" wasn't a joke after all!
FFFFFFFFF Fgsfds
"In the end, hell say, 'One girlfriend, please.' Because he'll probably fail again..."
Sonichu + grape soda = Nigrachu.
CWC's latest sweetheart?

CWC's latest sweetheart?
Yawning Squirtle after smoking a joint.
An all-too-serious model of the ad Chris would like to see in a legitimate publication.

Various

Medallions

Medallion Get About missing Pics

Isn't that Crayola Model Magic?
SEEEKRIT SYMBOLS
A letter Chris sent with the medallions.
An average /b/tard with his new Sonichu medallion.

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An overlapping comparison of the two medallions.
Absolute proof that the medallion isn't actually a pussy deflector after all!
Looks like Chris didn't get that medallion back, huh?

Email trolling

Email Trolling About missing Pics

MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN' has gone down in infamy. The same Anon shortly after drew the image he requested and send it off.
Oh lawd...
Oh lawd again...
Do you think he'll like all these?

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Oh. I guess not. OH SHITS HE KNOWS!!11
IF I SEE THAT PICKLE ONE MORE TIME
This won't end well.

Ebaumsworlds

EbaumsWorld About missing Pics

Chris-chan bought butt beads. No, srsly.
He's a proud owner of Space Nuts:Collectors Edition.
And he bought a love doll...
As if that wasn't enough, he then purchased another love doll.

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Ah, yes, the Velvet Touch Masturbator, for the fine gentleman. May I recommend the Superstud Power Ring to go with that?

Ah, yes, the Velvet Touch Masturbator, for the fine gentleman. May I recommend the Superstud Power Ring to go with that?
Chris likes redlight girls!

Chris likes redlight girls!
What a combo. Tommy Lee and Pam Uncensored and a Waterproof Pocket Rocket. Wait, Wat? Man, his ass needs lots of stimulation.

What a combo. Tommy Lee and Pam Uncensored and a Waterproof Pocket Rocket. Wait, Wat? Man, his ass needs lots of stimulation.
And, to top it all off... A Booty Licious Love Doll.

And, to top it all off... A Booty Licious Love Doll.
Chris sends his naked pictures to unsuspecting minors :(

Chris sends his naked pictures to unsuspecting minors :(
Ever wonder what Chris said to Megan to piss her off so much? (She's totally lying. If Chris was actually hot instead of ugly, Megan would bang him in an instant. Life is full of women banging and getting pregnant by dumb guys.)
And wonder what she said to him? Ouch, burned!

And wonder what she said to him? Ouch, burned!
OMG HAX :-(

OMG HAX :-(
Suddenly, pickles. HUNDREDS OF THEM.

Suddenly, pickles. HUNDREDS OF THEM.

Advice Chris

A spin-off of the original Advice Dog meme, Advice Chris employs the same premise of putting foolish advice or other dumb phrases on a colorful picture of a character's face. Where Advice Dog's background is a fairly simple rainbow pattern, subsequent Advice memes have adopted other patterns and color schemes. In the case of Advice Chris, the rainbow pattern is used, with Chris's head pasted in the center. While the text for Advice (X) memes can say virtually anything, the Advice Chris images are naturally expected to be somehow related to things Chris has said or done.

The meme has also been applied to fan-favorite character Yawning Squirtle, with the text typically referencing the dazed and confused look on his face.

You know what that means...
Chris wearing his mother's undergarments.
Oh exploitable.

Oh exploitable.
File:Advicechris2.jpg

PROTIP: If you want to add a picture, go HERE, and make sure to put it under the right section.

The End of Sonichu?

In the middle of 2010, Chris announced he was done with Sonichu forevers because the "trolls drained him of creativity." This is odd, because Chris had no creativity to begin with. In reality, he just didn't care about drawing comics anymore. Many retards pine for the days of old-school Chris trolling, where he'd get his bloated ass kicked out of malls, but the thing is is that Chris is so lazy and drawing comics don't reward him with PSN trophies. His mother also told him to quit drawing the comics of him battling McDonald's managers.

August 30th 2010: PS3 Destruction

Three leaked videos (MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward, 100_2209.MOV) have appeared on the internets regarding his "Life Upgrade" (aka his PS3). He accidentally DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING on his PS3 Harddrive, and so to make a clean break of things, he ran over his PS3 with his car.
(WHAT?! They actually let him drive a car?!) Sadly, this new direction in his life didn't last. He immediately went into withdrawal and spent his welfare money on a NEW PS3.

September 6th 2010

Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, which can be viewed here. In it he informs us he is very much not dead, and in fact alive, healthy and well. He also notifies us that he hasn't dug up Patti. Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up from under his porch sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow smoke, NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!. But hey, guess what? He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls, so they can't play with him any more. His final message? Haters gonna hate, plus an awesome string twirl.

Really, Really Gross Videos

Chris drinks his jizz for Ivy!
Spank dat ass!
Chrissy in the shower! (Filmed on location at Jigsaws place.)
Chris goes insane nude
Chris makes love to his video game console!
Chris reveals his feminine side!

2010 Endeavors

As of August 27, 2010, Chris is butthurt that his class of 2000 has yet to have a reunion, because at prom a movie said "See you in 10 years". Chris believes the school by law has to host a reunion. Most likely his class has seen his videos and has had the reunion and not invited his fat ass, or thought he was dead. It also appears he may be balding.

Chris decided to tape a video tour of Ruckersville. Here he shows the highlights and favorite places of the town(big surprise, McDonalds and Burger King are a couple of the stops on the tour!)http://blip.tv/notyalproductions/man-child-s-day-out-full-edition-5271317

Chris has stepped up his war against trolls with a new masterpiece.

He advises people to turn them in at their work place and DEMANDS THEY BE FIRED! Or turn them in to the police. He mentions that God will smite the trolls.

As of November 22, it appears Chris has again gotten butthurt at not having friends on FriendFace and has quit the internet forever. Time will tell.

Tomgirlism

Moar info: Chris-chan/Tomgirl Saga.

Autistics Hate Chris-Chan

Yes, this sperg literally made three videos dedicated to Chris-Chan

Previous Video | Next Video

Numerous other autists on YouTube have taken a vociferous dislike towards our beloved manbaby, seeing in him a dark reflection of their own failings and faggotry. Realising that they have frighteningly more in common with Chris-Chan than they'd like to admit and not wanting to feel the big thorny cock of the trolls pressing up against their own virgin lolcow assholes, these spergbuckets fall over one another in their attempts to distance themselves from the esteemed mayor of Cwcville, making shitty rant videos about Chris-chan and how much better than him they are, claiming that he is giving autism a bad name.

Of course, this is something of a logical fallacy which their stunted autistic minds are unable to grasp, as Chris-chan's behaviour in no way affects them and their behaviour, they cannot use Chris as a scapegoat or an excuse for their own faggotry.

Death of a Lumberjack

On September 06, 2011, Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., Chris' father and Internet Lumberjack, died and went to that Great Klan Rally in the Sky.

Chris-chan goes to jail

Chris and his mom have been arrested and might go to prison. He has been charged with assault and trespassing at the GAMe PLACe. On top of that, Barbara attempted to run Michael Snyder over in the parking lot (the second time this has happened), before driving off, landing them with a hit and run charge as well. However, they were soon pulled over. When officers arrested Chris, Barbara attempted to defend her precious child and was subsequently charged with assaulting an officer.

Chris attempted to have charges dropped in court on 7 November. Although he apparently kept his mouth shut and didn't 'sperg out, he still got no mercy from the Prosecuting Attorneys. Not a single charge was dropped. We have no idea if he pled "Nolo Contendre","Guilty", "Not Guilty due to Insanity" or "Shut Up, Judge!!!"

Turns out that that filthy hebrew, Michael Snyder has indeed called for a civil trial against both Christard and Snorlax.

Chris returned to court on 15 December but fuck all happened; apparently he whined to the judge that he'd only just gotten a lawyer and needed moar time to prepare, and got a delay until 5th January. He brought his 3DS with him and anons from /cwc/ attending the hearing were able to obtain his StreetPass Mii. Even that's a fucking tomgirl. On January 5th, he got yet another postponement, so he could finish levelling up some pokeymans in his game instead of going directly to jail. His next hearing is set for April 5th 2012.

Based on their charges, each of them can potentially face a minimum sentence of one year and a maximum sentence of ten years.

The only way his “get-out-of-jail-for-free-card” could work to somewhat to his advantage would be due to this incident reeking of autistic fuck up and the court would find him incapable of functioning as a normal adult and therefore not responsible for his actions and would then commit him to a mental health facility, likely for most of his remaining adult life. As for Barbara, if the court found her guilty it is likely the 70 year wouldn't survive her prison sentence.

Here's Christard's Version, Straight from the Horses Ass

I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with my mother, we had just stopped at the Salvation Army story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the McDonalds there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with burning it down being the alternative).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, perhaps it was another Mike. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my 3DS, activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For the Internet". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

And more shit happened. Mom called 911 on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a cop car. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of $324 Rx lens glasses were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as Daria, then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; took off my shirt due to the heat; pretended to be a genie with light brown hair for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk
to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. Rocky was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my PS3 to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL
ANYONE, PLEASE. Do not ask; Do not tell; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,
Christian W. Chandler

Chris'tard Enabler Unveils the Horror that is Chez Chandler

Chris's Pastoral Councillor Rocky "Bullwinkle" Shoemaker revealed details of the Chandlers living conditions to a suave, British troll named "Doctor Perron" (who turns out to be notorious Fundie Creatard Troll "Chris the Hacker".). Apparently, Not only is the Chandler residence a rubbish heap of hoarded junk...it is also suffering an undefined "infestation problem" and that "bug bites" are part of the reason the Great Lumberjack went off to that sawmill in the sky. He was even under quarantine immediately before his death.
Click here for audio of the phonecall: http://www.mediafire.com/?s1o5yaa51ga7lpc

Update, April 5th 2012

Although the charges for Trespassing and Assault have been dropped, The Court still wants to nail Chris'tard and Snorlax to the wall for the Hit-and-Run and hitting a cop. It's going to the Grand Jury!

That looks a sturdy, unbiased crowd. Justice is sure to come from them.
Also, Snyder v. Chandler is going ahead full steam. The judge in that case wants to play Kick the Autistic.

Moar ChrisChan Prison Adventure Fun

Here's Proof.
Here's Moar Proof.
You Certainly Did, Chris.
Prosecutors are a bunch of dang, dirty trolls.
Not even Snorlax is safe from the Wrath of Snyder.
Great, he'll get sued, and THEN go to jail.
To correctly model him in a RPG Character Builder Program comes close to breaking the program.