Ickeriss69
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Ickeriss69, aka Michael Patrick Lotz✡ (b. January 21, 1990), is a 34-year-old glorified /b/tardas well as a former YouTube troll who enjoys a little borgfaggin' now and then. Ironically, he began his "trolling" (the term is used loosely) around late '07 He started off not by trolling, but by publicly being trolled by some other random retards. Later, he spent most of his time pursuing Gaydiamond (albeit never making it to the level some others did).
The real attention whoring started with his subsequent facefagging, when he jumped on the Chris Chan bandwagon, gaining notoriety by convincing Chris to send him one of his Sonichu medallions when his friends posed as Blanca Weiss talking to the retard via telephone.
Lesser known, however, is that in the past Icky has left an even bigger trail of faggotry for himself, much of it equal to the butthurt whines of any aspies he claims to troll so hard. Basically, if you're a 20 y/o goth nerd still living with your grandparents in some backwoods suburb in the south, a lot of trite meme-speak and self-aggrandization can work wonders.
—Ickeriss69, working his way up the internet | ||
Humble Beginnings
In 2005 Ickeriss joined the website Haunting Echoes, and quickly began "working his way up the internet". With gay post after epic gay post, he not only worked his way up the internet, but up the admin's asses as well. So much so, that in 2007 Michael won the esteemed Haunting Echoes Drama-Llama Award for epic faggotry. What this meant was that on a website populated with angsty emo goth cutters, Ickeriss made them all feel much better about themselves by just being himself. After all, whenever they were feeling insecure about themselves, they could always fall back on pointing and laughing at him.
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"This award is for the most dramatic member, who regularly creates a scene or overreacts." -
BAWWWWWWWWWWWW!! I HATE THE WORLD!!!! -
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"I haven't been happy since the summer of 2004."
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If you notice in the "Likes" section of his Haunting Echoes profile, you'll see that Icky says he likes "some guys". A closer inspection of the forum revealed just what kind of guys he likes. Like this post from the thread "Your celeberty Crush". Michael reveals that he would very much like to suck the dick of Joel McHale, the host of Talk Soup.
And read some role-play while you're at it.
ITT: Poems of pain, love, or sorrow...
In addition to his posts crying about people picking on him, professing his gay love for the Talk Soup guy, and whining about his puppy biting him, Michael has also authored some excellent self-insert werewolf fanfics.
He's either a werewolf or a vampire, depending on the time of day. Here's another tl;dr vampire story.
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He also posted on Vampireforum.net about his superhuman powerz. Now he's not just a vampire, but a psychic vampire, with some "sanguine habits". -
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PROTIP: Cut deeper. You'll get it right eventually.
Like most emos, Michael also writes awesome poems about how the world has wronged him. His lulzy prose is still viewable here.
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How Do I Summoned Dead?
In addition to being a "psychic vampire" and a werewolf, Ickeriss is apparently a "necromancer" as well. He can be seen on the ghostvillage.com forums asking for advice on how to "wake up spirits". On closer inspection of the thread, you can see that even on a forum full of batshit ghostchasers, Michael was still considered to be a bit off.
Use scrollbar to see the full image
His Defense
When confronted with having his hand in the faggotry jar, Michael came up with an epic defense that even rivaled OJ's "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit". He said, in all seriousness, the following:
—Ickeriss69 | ||
That's right. When Michael was 15 years old he knew that 4 years later he would be in this exact place, and in this exact situation. It was a ruse. He set the whole thing up. Using his real pics, birthdate, locations, the crying about his family and ex's, the werewolf fanfic, wanting to suck Joel McHale's dick, all of it. It was one big troll. It still remains to be seen what he actually stood to gain from said ruse, aside from looking like he's completely full of shit, but yeah, he totally set this all up.
YouTube Shenanigans
Ickeriss tries out for the FCTC
So basically this was Ickeriss' "application" to join a (now defunct) collective of poser "trolls" on YouTube. And yes, he was serious. If you've ever had one of those moments where you actually felt embarrassed for someone else, this is essentially that, and probably something even Icky himself regrets doing, seeing as it was essentially the equivalent of trying out for the Special Olympics.
Ickeriss' 15 Minutes
Icky finds himself in one of the Fox News follow-ups (the one with smugfag crying about "cyber bullies"), blink and you'll miss it. Appropos, they slid him in right before another butthurt aspie.
(1:15 marker)
This Gets Worse, Too
At some point in the latter half of 2008, Ickeriss got the brilliant to don a V-mask and begin an epic campaign of trolling against targets such as furries, emos, attention whores, and the like. Otherwise known as the groups 13-year-olds have had covered since the beginning of the internet. To begin a career under the new identity "NatureofHumanity", he released the following video:
In the video, our hero uses a voice changer to conceal his identity. Fortunately for us, Ickeriss is as dumb as a sack of potatoes and doesn't realize how easy it is to unmask a voice. Now you're asking yourself "how could this get any worse?". The man who has already brought you werewolf erotica, vampire roleplay, and delicious Joel McHale presents this gem for your consideration:
—NatureofHumanity | ||
That's right. Epic oldfag /b/tard king Ickeriss wants to be the little girl.
Moar
To round off his YouTube trolling career, he ends with this sad piece of drivel. Putting the last nail in the coffin of his side project, "The Kings Of The Streets".
EPIN MEDALLION GET!
Moar info: FCTC.
Ickeriss' crowning achievement, the day he came into possession of Chris-chan's Sonichu medallions.
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Less-known, however, is the background on how Icky pulled off this epic ween, and just how much credit FCTC actually took from him. Circa September 2008, originally orchestrated by FCTC member RickyRicardo123, Icky was recruited to text-chat the manchild into demented cybersex to gain his trust. Icky did this about 3 times before getting bored and running off to write some more of his poetry, leaving NurseIckychan to phone chat with Chris long enough to convince him to mail off the treasured toys and hand out pictures of his dick. Icky decided to be the mighty troll to receive the awe-inspiring relics, and did what any ween troll would do; gave the address of a friend, convinced the friend to hand the pack over, and then went to YouTube to break the medallions on camera in an act of epic, brilliant, and unparalleled trolling.
However, right about this time, Icky, Ricky and the good nurse decided that, even though they had unreasonable control of FCTC in the first place and shared the pictures and information with the rest of FCTC every step along the way, they weren't quite happy that they wouldn't get complete credit and would instead have to share e-fame with their group, and so intended to form a new, even better troll troupe alongside what would become the PVCC CWC troll crew, where they would control hordes of newfags as undisputed Kings of Trolling.
Unfortunately, FCTC had already dropped the pictures and claimed communal victory, unaware of the trio's plans for secession. Rage was had, crews were disbanded, and Ickeriss jumped ship to ride the popularity of what would become the only thing resembling an accomplishment he would ever get (despite barely having anything to do with himself); tricking a retard into mailing him toys and breaking them on YouTube.
An epic troll had been born.
Icky's appeal to Girlvinyl
It can be assumed that Michael probably knew he'd be getting an ED page soon, so in November 2009 he decided to suck up to Girlvinyl by offering to give her one of Chris-chan's medallions.
—Icky doing it wrong |
Girlvinyl ended up getting the 'decoy' medallion that Chris-chan made. Once Mike's ED page went online, however, he began openly stating that ED is cancer.
Icky's Unfortunate Incident
Sometime in the midst of all his epic weeeeeeen! internet trolling, Ickeriss managed to wrangle an internet girlfriend he met via trolling. By "met", he (along with some other faggots) was recruited by her off of Vampirefreaks.com for a troll group on a similar site, Dark Starlings. Suffice it to say, other members of said troll group (as well as the creator/admin of Dark Starlings) did not like the idea of having Icky in their group due to his being a whiny, unfunny faggot.
Astonishingly, the relationship went awry. This can be attributed to the fact that Icky
- constantly begged for phone sex;
- showed off his collection of blogs about wanting to cut himself and/or become an hero;
- talked about wanting to marry this girl and get her pregnant (even though he hadn't even known her that long);
- cried a lot;
- talked about how he imagined a T-Rex would have sex;
- was just generally creepy/weird.
Thus, Icky was dumped on Christmas eve (but not before he sent the girl's son a "Baby Cthulhu" toy as a Christmas present). Down, but not out, he sulked back to the internet to mend his broken soul. Until Brittany Holechko (seriously, that Brittany Holechko) managed to contact said ex and obtain this series of hilarious and telling voicemails, along with an impressive dossier of pictures of his pale bare ass that he, as an epic troll, thought would be a sweet idea to send to a woman over the internet. A woman that he met through trolling. And was then amazed when she handed over this embarrassing information, despite the fact that she dropped his shit in retaliation to his wanting to get her son taken away because he was butthurt over being dumped. A stunning lapse in judgment for what had been an amazing career.
Surprisngly, this managed to kill the credibility of his career as an epic expert of Anon (as much expertise that comes with making a YouTube video "trolling" /b/'s flavor of the week, at least), thus began the mass blocking and calling everyone else butthurt over the event.
—It's a hard knock life | ||
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Upon Further Inspection
Fap Video
Among the things that Ickeriss's ex-e-girlfriend gave IHM was a 30 second video of Icky stroking his meat while namedropping said ex in orgasm. Of course, her dropping all of Michael's personal media to his alleged kidnapper wasn't entirely unwarranted. If your ex-lover was threatening to have your kid taken away from you because you dumped them, you'd probably do the same.
Emails
Recently, emails (now missing) between Ickeriss and one of his exes were released. Rather than help Michael's case though, they just give more insight into the workings of his fucked up mind.
Kidnapping
In May 2008, he was involved in an e-relationship with Brittany Holechko (only for trolling though!). At some point during this relationship, a sex-starved Ickeriss decided he was willing to let the whale meet him IRL for some quality time. Later, probably realizing how horribly he had fucked up, Icky developed an ingenious story about how Brittany kidnapped and forced herself upon him.
—Michael Lotz, master storyteller (full text of the story here) | ||
This totally believable story would probably hold up if not for these telling emails he exchanged with Brittany.
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Preparing for the hambeast's arrival. -
The aftermath.
When Icky found out about these embarrassing emails that he had previously insisted were a bluff on Brittany's part (and that he had only talked to her on MSN), he went on to claim that the emails were faked because "the dates were wrong" and that he "didn't have internet at the time". Despite this claim, the dates on the emails match up with the dates mentioned in Icky's tl;dr kidnapping story. Of course, this was all part of an elaborate and complex troll that you are just too lame to understand.
Voicemail-gate 2: Electric Boogaloo
Not long after his downfall at Legi0n, Ickeriss once again suffered from relationship problems. Apparently, during his tenure at legi0n he leaked sensitive information on a girlfriend of his to a group of trolls including Cyanterrorist. Like all of Icky's complex and elaborate plans, this worked out perfectly. Fucking perfectly, I tell ya.Continuing the embarrassing chain started in the previous set of voicemails, Icky decided it would be an excellent idea to call the same girl in the middle of the night to inform him of his plans to dox Cyanterrorist and another troll (The video has gone missing)
Icky Threatens Dox
Continuing the embarrassing chain started in the previous set of voicemails, Icky decided it would be an excellent idea to call the same girl in the middle of the night to inform him of his plans to dox Cyanterrorist and another troll (3:03 in the video).
Activity with Legi0n
Moar info: Legi0n.
Ashamed and down on his luck, Ickeriss has taken a permavacation from YouTube due to being butthurt over his fellow trolls. Recently Ickeriss has been getting on Helldive (anus eal's network), crying about how he is going to get revenge on subseven for stealing his gf and lying about what really happened with Brittany Holechko. Feeling pity, some faggot named KrappleGuy immediately thought he could put Mike's time-tested skills of blocking people and deleting comments he didn't like to work, and gave Ickeriss Admins privileges on his imageboard, Legi0n. Legi0n is where Michael spends most of his days now, since as he has complete control of said board, he can hide from his shameful actions and groom a horde of mouth-breathing Chris-chan enthusiasts who will worship him as a medallion-destroying God among men under the alias Medic. Coincidentally, "Ickeriss' happens to be completely wordfiltered off the boards and most criticism of him is met with an instant permaban. Not because he's butthurt about anything though. It's simple clean up, you see. When one's immersed in the delicate and subtle art of managing a board about fat autists, one must cover the details.
Despite being such an epic troll well worth his accolades and position of power, Ickeriss just can't seem to handle the pressure of running a medium-sized chan, and has several times recruited for subordinates. The very careful selection of who gets to be a mod on Leejun follows a very simple pattern. A "regular" poster on the board catches Ickeriss's eye, said poster is invited to the irc channel by Icky, who then asks the poster if they use skype. The poster is then invited to a skype conference with Ickeriss and his circlejerking friends. Then Ickeriss, in his infinite knowledge, deems the individual to be a pretty cool guy and asks the person if they want mod power on Leejun.
Mike has his hands full on /cwc/, so don't go doing anything rude like posting pictures of his dick and his tearful voicemails to his ex to ruin the faggot little cult of personality he's obtained or anything like that, or he'll just have to break out his troll skillz and call u mad.
Epin moderation in action:
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Not relevant. -
Icky displays his maturity by announcing he was asked not to be a butthurt crybaby and ban everyone in the totally irrelevant thread. He still deleted the thread though.
How Does I Ate Steak?
At January 15, 2010, Ickeriss launched a one-man campaign (with some assistance from his fellow morons at Legi0n) to troll Onision and his fanbase of tree-hugging vegans. This doesn't seem like a difficult task, but when Ickeriss and Legi0n are thrown into the mix it inevitably devolves to the Special Olympics. His master plan: record himself eating a steak. On the original upload, all of two butthurt fans commented. Fucking epic.
Computer mouse plz
At one point, Ickypoo was brought into a skype call with an attention-whoring, fellow otherkin known as 
Shadow Phantom. In this skype call, Ickeriss took it upon himself to put his expert womanizing skills to the test and told Shadow Phantom that he would pay her if she read off her erotic fanfictions. The last straw was when Icky had another epic idea and told his fellow lulzcow to stick a computer mouse up her ass. Ickeriss's antics of course did not go unnoticed as Shadow Phantom ragequit skype and proceeded to bawww on a Sonic the Hedgehog forum.
—Ickeriss trying to be suave | ||
Ickeriss of course decided to keep pursuing Shadow Phantom and followed her onto the forum.
DDoS Drama
Ickeriss's cocky attitude had gotten Leejun DDoS'd on numerous occasions, but the most notable was when his faggotry came to the attention of EZBake. Basically, Icky's then-e-girlfriend had become good friends with an EZBake skiddie known as garrett. This of course infuriated the beautiful archfiend, as he apparently does not want whatever woman he is with to have any male friends. So Icky decided to run his big mouth at garrett in a fit of jealousy. Garrett responded to this childish behavior by not only DDoSing Leejun, but packeting Icky and knocking him offline.
—garrett telling it like it is | ||
While the preceding irc chat was going on, an internet-less Ickeriss called Krapple on the phone, and in a fit of spastic nerd rage, began bawwing about getting packeted and how he wanted to get garrett v&. Once the drama died down, Ickeriss offered (YES, OFFERED) to pay for the DDOS damages from the previous night. When all was said and done, Icky had earned himself a seemingly permanent admin position on the boards due to his generous monetary contribution for a DDoS attack that was his fault in the first place.
"FUCK OFF, DICK!"
In Mid August 2010, Ickeriss's faggotry on Leejun had reached it's boiling point. The last straw was when Mike decided it would be great to personal army the site by posting nudes of his ex and pictures of her child on Leejun's "lolcows" board. When said images were removed, Icky decided to colorfully respond to this lulzkilling.
—Icky handling things like a true professional | ||
Icky then proceeded to repost his personal army/butthurt thread, only to have it deleted again. On August 13, 2010, Ickeriss said that he would start paying for the site, effectively making him the owner (he also told SeanieB and some others about how he wanted to remove Krapple and take over the site). However, Krapple finally had enough of Icky's faggotry and removed his admin powers on Legi0n.
After Exile
After ruining Legi0n and having what was left of his support group more than ready to want him gone, Ickeriss did the smart thing and proceed to gather even more attention to himself. To prove them wrong, of course.
"I hope you get AIDS in your dick"
Not content with merely one display of emotional indignation, Ickeriss again displayed his voicemail proficiency and left his former Legi0n cohorts a seething message, letting them know outright that they were newfags (in his /b/ mask)and homosexuals (while masturbating to The Soup reruns). The video is missing.
Ickeriss apparently did not appreciate his voicemail rantings being posted on Youtube so he did the only logical thing he could do and had the video taken down. Unfortunately, Icky doesn't know that the internet doesn't forget.
"Hey Guys I Intentionally Christian Weston Chandler"
After his controversial, yet simultaneously uneventful stint as Fuhrer and Greatest Liability of Legi0n, Ickeriss decided to lead an insurrection against his former cohorts. Not unlike Satan and his rebellion against God, the Beautiful Archfiend had attempted to gather his minions from /cwc/ and destroy Legi0n from the inside. Too bad for Icky, his boys in Legi0n weren't entirely appreciative of how his douchebaggery led them straight to the attention of Encyclopedia Dramatica, and Michael was forced to avenge his second fall from grace alone. Infuriated and desperate, Ickeriss decided he had only one option left; if he couldn't rule over the CWCfags, he would destroy Chris-chan trolling completely.
Blaming his humiliation on those with considerable sway in the world of autistic stalking, Icky made it clear that during his tenure with Legi0n and involvement with said 'tard baiting that he knew dark and terrifying secrets that, if exposed to those closest to Mr. Chandler (specifically his church counselor), would tear the world of Chris-chan enthusiasts apart irreparably, and made a list of demands in order to keep the terrible secret under wraps; most of which included removing all unflattering videos of him from YouTube and returning the respect he gained from moderating hanging around on /cwc/. Ickeriss had it all planned out. Knowing trolls couldn't possibly bear the loss of a lulz icon, they would have to give into his demands, or else lose the greatest source of comedy gold ever!
Except that he wasn't even entirely sure that it was Legi0n and other assorted CWCfags leaking the embarrassing details in the first place. And that everyone and their dead grandmother has already attempted everything and anything to troll the Chandlers, and that anyone approaching them with "damning information" would be ignored without a second thought. And that, on the off chance they did listen to him, he would then have to explain why there was video of himself online gleefully destroying Christian's stolen property on YouTube. And that historically people that have tried to counter-raid imageboards out of butthurt indignation end up buried by said boards. In addition to his long, long track record of basically just fucking up ever single thing he's ever attempted to pull off fucking ever. Ever.
But yeah, if you're pissed off wondering why there's never anything new going on with Chris-chan lately, Ickeriss wants you to know he was totally responsible for that. Feel free to show your appreciation.
A Desperate, Angry Boy Runs Out of Ideas
In a bizarre episode, Ickeriss recently stooped to contacting former Legi0n cohorts and assaulting their voicemail with songs by My Chemical Romance and Insane Clown Posse, clearly under the impression that this was the most logical way to count the assertion he was a meme spouting crybaby loser. The video is missing.
Icky's Unfortunate Incident (part II)
Sometime in October 2010, Ickeriss' ex (who dumped him on Christmas eve 2008 and dropped his shit to IHM) approached him. She proclaimed that despite being married to Subseven, she still had feelings for Icky. Of course Michael, being the clingy, gullible imbecile that he is, bought into the lie. Well, part of him did. The other part wanted to get revenge and thus decided that he would play along and then tell Subseven that he was being cheated on. Icky however, was unaware that Subseven (as well as a few of Icky's ex-leejun buddies and a more recent ex of his) were in on this trolling scheme. Notably, Icky's more recent ex sent Icky's /b/ mask to his previous ex. It has been alleged that the mask has a rancid stench to it when worn.
A Michael Lotz Christmas
The initial trolling by Icky's ex ended in November 2010 when Icky got fed up with being cockteased. Then on Christmas eve 2010, all that had been gathered on Icky was dropped. Among the things dropped was a large number of pictures ranging from text messages to more n00dz. The faggot who promised to post the nudes was MIA.
MOAR FAPPING
Once again, Icky proved that he just can't keep his pale-as-fuck phallus in his trousers and fapped on cam for his ex. What Ickeriss didn't know was that his fap session was being recorded. So in short, Ickeriss was tricked into fapping on cam, only to have a video of it dropped on the 2 year aniversery of his internet girlfriend dumping him. The video is missing.
"Hey Guys I Intentionally Christian Weston Chandler" (part II)
Not content with all the negative attention he'd already received and butthurt about his famous, epic Sonichu medallion videos getting removed from his Youtube channel, Ickeriss decided to once again make the Chris-chan trolling community the target of his crybaby tantrums. This time around, Icky felt it necessary to threaten a Youtube channel that mirrors Chris-chan's videos with the possibility of DMCA takedowns. Why would an epic troll like Ickeriss do this you might ask? Well, because this Youtube channel dared mirror his precious medallion videos.
—Ickeriss being an internet tough guy | ||
Ickeriss's medallion videos however, can still be viewed here. Catch them now before Ickeriss DMCA's them away.
Theme Song
I wanna be
The very best
Like no troll ever was
To amass a personal army is my quest
To sell them bullshit is my cause
I will travel across the Tubes
Searching far and wide
Each chanfag nerd to not understand
That my accomplishments are lies
Ickeriss!
It's you and me
Grew up with Dei in Germany
Ickeriss!
Oh I have no friends
From the truth I must defend
Ickeriss!
What I told legi0n wasn't true
But my shit, they did not see through
You'll dump me and I'll cry to you
Ickeriss
Gotta troll 'em all!
Every challenge along the way
With a /b/ mask on my face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Kidnap me, the time is right
There's no better team
On my own chan I lost the fight
Gallery of Icky
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They do now... -
Rickyricardo123 stands up for his bro Ickeriss -
...all this and cosplay too. -
Don't be so mean to me! I haz a sick puppy biting me and it hurtz! ;_; -
Icky approves -
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moar fan art -
"I'm gonna go eat me some motherfucking cinnamon rolls. YEE HOOOO." -
Icky in work clothes. -
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Hello Amonamiss! -
EPIC WEEN MEDALLION GET EPIN TROLL'D CWC LOLOLOLOLOL -
We here at Anonamiss hereby declare FUCK YO LOGO
External Links
Goth Forums:
- Ickeriss on Haunting Echoes
- Hades_Ickeriss on Haunting Echoes
- Unwilling_Immortal on Haunting Echoes
- Internet Archive of Unwilling_Immortal on Haunting Echoes
- Ickeriss on DarkStarlings - need an account to view
- Unwiling_Immortal on DarkStarlings - need an account to view
- TheKingInYellow on DarkStarlings - need an account to view
Unwilling_Immortal on Vampirefreaks.com- banned- Gabrial the Beautiful Archfiend on MyGoth.
Supernatural Forums:
- Unwilling_Immortal on VampireForum.net
- UnwillingImmortal on PsychicVampire.org
Unwilling_Immortal on Realms Of Magick- 404'd
YouTube Accounts:
- Ickeriss69 - Hacked by the Legende
- 69deicide
- KrappleFag - Most recent Youtube account
- IckerissChaotic
- CarcosanKnight
- KingsRevisited
- NatureofHumanity - Sock account
- DrAbdulAlhazred
- MichaeL0tz - Parody account
- IckerissShadowOps - Sock account for (quite literally) text trolling
Video Sharing Accounts:
Myspace Accounts:
Miscellaneous Accounts
- LordHadesArchFiend on Gaia
- Gabrial Barton on Bebo
- Trowa Barton on Bebo
Unwilling_Immortal on Xanga- deletedUnwilling_Immortal on NetLog- deleted- Unwilling_Immortal on Photobucket - on lockdown
Unwilling_Immortal on Espin- no longer working
Instant Messenger Accounts:
- AIM: hadesarchfiend
- Yahoo: lord_hades_archfiend
- Other Yahoo: unwilling_immortal
- MSN: [email protected]
- Other MSN: [email protected]
- Skype: Ickeriss
- Other Skype: doctoreden
See also
- Anonymous Borg
- Trying Too Hard
- Troll Shielding
- Teenage Angst
- Werewolf
- Goth
- Wicca
- FCTC
- ~js
- Brittany Holechko
- Legi0n
- Cyanterrorist
- Darksidered992
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