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Blackinese
Not to be confused with the Wapanese, Blackinese (or Chigro) are black-persons with "squinty eyes" like those of a gook. The number of this sub-species in the wild has grown exponentially over the years and as such distinctive variation is beginning to emerge; skin tones from "a light-cocoa" to "as black as your boot" have been documented along with a great many eyes in a cashew or almond shape.
Blackinese: A rich heritage
In the early days of the 1700's Carl Peter Thunberg migrated from his accommodating native homeland to Japan in order to search for inexpensive sex-slaves. Whilst travelling the country he closely studied and eventually adopted local custom taking great pains to document in meticulous detail everything that he saw and experienced within a great series of collected written volumes. This gentleman formed a foundation for the egocentric Japanophile we know today.
Eventually the traveler returned bringing with him a retinue of thirty-seven Japanese referred to as "de små blommorna" ,or "the little flowers" whom he had purchased following prolonged and exhaustive examination of Taiwanese specimens proffered by local merchants; it having been deemed conclusively by all in company that the native comforts were of a "superior quality" resulting in a "fair" price being arranged for their acquisition. After a successful lecture-tour during which the juveniles were presented for viewing and investigative-penetration the obsession with all things Japanese spread as word of mouth, the press and Thunberg's own works brought "the land of the rising sun" into Western consciousness, much to an isolationist Japan's distress.
Some argue that had Thunberg not unleashed this "Yellow Fever" the eventual bridges that were built, and brought a nigger to fuck a Jap, would never have been built.
Although as previously mentioned some variation exists in this mongrel, Blackinese would appear to be scared of everything; including themselves. Extended studies have shown examples of Blackinese becoming so engrossed in their love of flashing lights and brightly-coloured objects that they find they can no longer face reality and so retreat into a world of their own devising, eventually reaching a catatonic state some would equate to a form of brain-death.
Well done C. P. Thunberg, are you happy now?
Transformation
Blackinese will commonly express the sentiment that they "like what they like", however this is a lie, in that genetic predetermination eliminates from them any element of choice. Transformation can commence in juveniles as early as three-months of age, although late onset (in some cases up to seven-years of age) is not uncommon. Documentation of the Blackinese throughout recent history reveals a number of distinctive traits which noticeably occur in infantile chigro subjects, including:
- Slanting.
- DHSS (Deprivation of Hydration in the Skin Syndrome) Commonly known as "ashy skin".
- Widening of the nose; with seemingly enlarged columella and alae.
- A decline of calcium in the teeth.
- Thickening of the lips.
- Inability to vocalize the English language.
As a Blackinese ages they will invariably become more remote and/or socially awkward; a high percentage seek refuge in solitude behind the closed door of their bedroom, or 'lair' if you will, emerging only to resupply their stock of imported snack-products and felt-tipped pens as the need arises.
Habitat & Evolution
Within the blighted hearts of the deepest Western urbanised-ghettos a rarely observed sub-group of the Blackinese; known as nigru japoraptor, would appear to have recently emerged. Anecdotal evidence documents it preying upon its own kind however, serious scientific investigation has been limited owing to the small number currently believed to exist in the wild. Enquiries into the matter are also often hampered by a number of insurmountable factors; the most common being the overwhelming odour of its habitat.
As indicated earlier numbers on the whole are increasing although few appear to be open in relation to their affliction. It is indeed rare for one to find a Blackinese family residing within the provinces of Tokyo, or more specifically Beijing, as China forbids the birth of multiple children by law; this serves to prohibit the procreation of negros who are known to breed at an impossible rate.
Personalities & Likes
Blackinese express adoration for the medium of anime, bizarrely in the case of Miku Hatsune, a Blackinese will feed upon her blue-hair. Musical appreciation encompasses all things oriental; high-pitched or vocoder-treated lyrics in conjunction with off-note electronic noise are consistently the order of the day. Studies have found that 90% of prepubescent chigro males watch the The Boondocks, a show highlighting the bizarre relationship between Man and Weeaboo.
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A typical source of nourishment.
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Blackinese = srs bzns!
Quotations
—The expected screeching and various spouts of phrases can be heard like a thundering boom, echoing off in the distance whilst they commemorate their tribal leaders and spiritual guides. |
Videos
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See Also
- Wapanese
- Jap
- Nigger
- Chink
- Wolfaboos
- kittens
- nyan cat
- Sailor moon
- therealblasian
- reccasenli
- TsukihanaKuro
Blackinese is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |