Terrorism

Don't be a filty terrorist! Support T.W.A.T. - The War Against Terror!

Trey Burba made terrorist threats against his school.

An artist's impression of 9/11. Note that everything about this image is most disturbing.

Terrorism: achieving a goal through the use of fear or threats (Think Benjamin Netanyahu}.

Despite popular belief, trolling is not a form of terrorism. Calling some one a fatty on the internets doesn't equal the Jews doing WTC.

That being said, terrorism is also a highly effective way of IRL trolling. In recent years it has become increasingly popular as Muslims are crazy fucks and USA needs moar death, although it is acceptable as it's done for the lulz.

History

The main focus of terrorists is to make people laugh.

Terrorism can be found everywhere in media and culture, as a popular traditional form of wartime recreation/entertainment often making for many of the more impressive and hilarious events during a ruck, it is mentioned in the writings of the notorious H.P. Lovecraft right up to the movies of terrorist-loving Jew film producers of today. Groups of people often pay at least one million dollars to be subjected to terrorism as they instantly receive an eternal 'BAWWWW Pass' if they survive which entitles them to one free Oprah appearance.

Terrorism often features explosions. IRL terrorism is not as fun, because often the explosions occur far away from the people being terrorized and are never seen, or are shot on hand-held cameras instead of film and when shown, are simply repeated constantly. Many people still watch for hours however, as RL heightens the drama, regardless of the fact that most of the time the long-awaited second explosion does not occur. One of the best examples of terrorism is the one-day only CNN movie 9/11 which ironically was shot on September 11th, 2001. Such high levels of drama caused many people to go batshit crazy. This is the mark of a good RL terrorist director.

Many people turn into pussies and/or Republicans when watching a good bit of terrorism. One problem with terrorism is that a good dose can encourage people to cut themselves, or sometimes cut other people, or start a war, or, as we will see, even start a war on terror itself.

War on Terror

Terror alert system fixt

At least 100 years ago, a Saudi Princess named Osama bin Laden had sand in his vagina and was recruited by the government to become a terrorist. He lived in Iraq and wished to find a way to protect himself from getting sand in his vagina, so the CIA taught him how to terrorize people and how to train others to terrorize people. As it is common knowledge that the itch of a sandy vagina can induce cutting, geniuses at the CIA believed that cutting other people may remove sand from a vagina. However, the sand did not decrease, and, unbeknownst to the CIA, the drama of bin Laden's terrorism greatly increased. After a while, Bin Laden disappeared. Later he re-appeared and blew up America. It has been theorized that bin Laden may have a centipede filled vagina or in some cases, even a scorpion filled vagina.

Bin Laden's drama made the CIA very angry, as he had been specifically told not to do that. It also made Americans angry. Most Americans wanted to murder bin Laden. Instead, George Bush, the head ruler of America, decided murdering bin Laden was not enough, and said that fear itself needed to be stopped. So, he declared a war on terror. This is not what he wanted to actually do, of course, because it is fucking stupid. Instead of fighting scariness like he promised conservatives, he just conquered two countries instead. This, he said, was all part of America's battle against scary things for Americans, when really it was all part of the Illuminati's battle against their not having enough power or money. Bush made sure to tell everyone how scary the countries were ahead of time, even though he, like everyone else at the time, didn't really give two shits about them. Eventually, Bush's plan is to conquer the world. See George Bush for more on his plans.

Had AIDS injected up his butt after case of mistaken identity by the Scotch.

Glasgow Bombing

Nowadays many events and instances around the world are misinterpreted as terrorism by police and the world media with a majority of people believing this too. This is mainly attributed to the worldwide Jewish conspiracy, who control all governments and media, and like to use terrorist attacks as an excuse to lock up Arabs and piss off ragheads in Palestine, lol.

One recent “terrorist attack” is an example of this: the bombing of Glasgow International Airport bombing on 30 June 2007. This chain of events was set into motions weeks before however when agents of MI7, two levels above MI5, were on a routine undercover sweep of Scotland and made a terrifying find. This discovery was an airport just outside of Glasgow, a chance for the imprisoned Scotch people to escape their eternal jail where they had been imprisoned for so many centuries. This very thought terrified the top brass of MI7 knowing that surely the Scotch would all travel south to kill the Queen and then destroy the English way of life, it’s what every Scotch person wants.

88 mph!!

As such, weeks later a flaming car was driven into one of the terminals of this airport but due to a leak from MI7 soon the whole world knew of this. The rest of the world, not knowing the true evil of the Scotch people and their jealousy of the continental ways of the English, presumed that ZOMGZZ!!!12! A terrorist attack!!

However, this was obviously not the case. Even though Glasgow is industrial nowadays the rest of the Scotland is a Third World country in most respects, even the Scotch would be the first to admit this. If it doesn't have a Starbucks then Osama doesn't give a shit. The truth was that the Queen had given Doc Emmet Brown and Michael J Fox handjobs in return for them using the flux capacitor to go back in time to Scotland and stopping the airport from ever being built.

Due to a combination of Doc Brown skimping by using Wilkinson's own brand batteries instead of plutonium in his flux capacitor and ol’ Mikey J Fox having the shakes, the car drove straight into the airport instead of past it and the whole thing just got blown the fuck up. Fox even fhailed so bad he didn’t even kill any Scotch in the process. Most experts agree however that Teen Wolf probably wouldn’t have fucked it all to pieces.

Incidentally, the terminal attack was completely pointless as the Muslims, far from actually killing anyone, set fire to themselves and fingered themselves while crying to Allah to "shove his Asian cock up their batty creases."

Westgate Mall

Do you know the name of Mohamed's mother? How about the name of the cave where the Qur'an was first revealed? Do you even know who revealed the Qur'an? If you answered no to any of these questions, chances are you would have had a 7.62x39mm cartridge bursting through the back of your skull if you were in Kenya's Westgate Shopping Center on September 21st, 2013.

18 militants armed to the teeth followed their dreams and turned the happiest place on Earth into a real life reenactment of Team Fortress 2. With over 80 total frags, 200 injured, and countless assailants escaping to freedom, there's only one group of people to blame for this bloodbath: Jews.

Jews did it

Westgate Shopping Mall is owned by the kikes and they were forewarned of the attack months in advance by not only the al-Shabaab but also by intelligence officers who keep tabs on every email and phone call you make anywhere. As is the Jewish style, they ignored these warnings knowing that they could benefit from the ensuing bloodbath. During the attack, Israeli Special Forces could be seen outside the mall patronizing the local popcorn stand.

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Lulzy Terrorism

Terrorism can also be used for great lulz. When two hippies attacked the city of Boston using their hairstyles, sracks were brit. See Boston for more information on their great lulzy martyrdom.

On 9/11/2008 a retard in Syosset told his health teacher he was scared of terrorists coming back. Much lulz ensured as students pointed out that security guards did not carry guns. The retard then never returned to class.

Gallery

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  Osama's successor
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  Allah, mah boi

See Also

• Terrorist
• Islam
• Defense Industries Organization
• Iraq
• Afghanistan
• Hugh Jidette
• Israel
• ISIS
• United States Military

Terrorism is part of a series on Politics.

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