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Negress

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Princessofamerica at 15:47, 19 February 2012. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Negress DNA is only 49% human. DO NOT APPROACH
Do NOT make eye contact.
lol she's really lying

The Black chick, or Nigerius obnoxius is an extremely dangerous and territorial animal. Black chicks roam in packs, and constantly produce a loud, ear-piercing screech that can cause irreparable damage to the middle-ear. Black chicks can also cause damage to the eyes which will be explained later. Not to be confused with ebony baby chikins, which are considerably more pleasing to the eyes, and which one day end up in black chicks.

Black women basically eat whatever they desire. Depending on the region of America, they eat different things. In the South (Texas, Alabama, Georgia, etc) the diet consists of "Soul Food" which is mainly fried meats (chicken and fish) and vegetables like potatoes and collard greens with a side of peach cobbler. These goods are said to give the Southern girl her MAGNIFICENT shape of juicy breasts, SMALL CONTOURED WAIST LINE and nice round ass. You know, kinda like the ass white women like Kim Kardashian go out and BUY because she is not able to acheive it naturally. All black women do not fit in this category, though. Which is why the ones who are not as fortunate and have to resort to ASS SHOTS aka hydrogel injections (just like Northern black (islander) chick Nicki Minaj who has plenty of injections). File:ImagesCAQBL3UX.jpg Other black women eat just like any other American, from fast food joints to home cooked comfort foods. You don't find too many black vegetarians or Vegans (except Beyonce).

Mixed or multi ethnic black chicks (Black Latinos, Black Asians (mixed), Jamaican Americans,etc) typically eat foods of their countries as cooked by their foreign parents.

There are a considerably large amount of overweight black women, just as there are other races, but there is a difference. Black chicks do not want to kill themselves because they are fat, nor do they want to damage their esophaguses by vomitting all their meals like psychotic white women do. They often embrace this fatness, which is a shame. You will often see the ghetto class black female (mostly in Walmart) with skimpy clothing to show off those posterior breasts on her back. Shame shame shame. This type of black female is often accompanied by a extra dark black man who only weighs 120 pounds and nappy, short cornrows.

Anatomy and physiology

All negressess have envious plump rears, perfect breasts and range from light skinned to dark sknned. They also have big curly or kinky hair and piercing brown or green eyes. Beautiful!

On the Internets

Many black chicks have learned how to operate computers, and some even figured out how to create MySpace pages for themselves. Do not, under any circumstances, view a black chick's MySpace, as they often post skimpy pictures of themselves which, along with the bad selection of music that autoplays, can cause permanent sensory damage to the eyes and ears.

Some of them also run ED.

Combat

Black chicks are ferocious fighters. They will leap at their victims, pulling hair, and thrashing with their sharp talons. They can kill a weak paper thin white woman with a single glance. Do not attempt to fight them.

Socialization

A typical black girl, photographed in the wild in her natural habitat

Although in some rare cases it is possible to find a black chick who is nearly fluent in English, they by and large prefer to communicate in their native language. Black chicks are very social and often play games with each other such as:

  • "Oh No You Di'int" in which players attempt to speak louder than the competitors. Loudest voice wins the argument.
  • "Who My Baby Daddy" in which the pregnant black chick and her friends analyze factors such as income, stability, and gullibility to choose which of several men she slept with in the past 2 months will be paying her child support.
  • "Step Off Mah Man Ho" a physical sport where two or more contestants attempt to pull hair, nails clothing and jewelry. The one who keeps most of her accessories "wins" the man, although he continues to sleep with them all anyway.

Relations with men of other races

White men and Azn men show little interest in the colored ape known as the black girl. This is likey due to the fact that both races of men prefer their women to be attractive, petite, literate, not addicted to drugs, and free of HIV, none of which the black girl can legitimately claim to be. White men, however, have for hundred's of years made a sporting hobby out of impregnating poor, ignorant (and often enslaved) black women, creating half breeds just for the lulz. This is evidenced by the occasional beautiful black woman, as well as the anomalous intelligent nigger who wears a suit, speaks english, and possesses basic cognitive skills- traits that normally would be impossible for a black to possess without white or AZN genes. (See Barack Obama)


Latino men, in their never ending pursuit to be better at being a nigger than actual niggers, love black women. This is not so unusual, however, as latin women have much in common with niggeresses that would explain the common gardener's attraction to them. Being overweight, unemployed, frequently pregnant, toothless, drunk, heavily scarred, loud, rude, uneducated, promiscuous, diseased, ugly, lazy, stinky, and having fat asses with which to take disgusting dumps are traits that both breed of woman share.

Arabs, as they are with all women, are repulsed by black girls, because they are Hella gay bro.

Similarity to Hippos

The Venus Nigra Trap, digesting its last victim

Black women are noted for being nearly identical to the hippo, which is also obese, black, toothless, angry and dumb. Together, the negress and the hippo comprise the two biggest dangers one faces in Africa: being eaten by a hippo or catching AIDS from a nigger girl.

Some of the noted similarities between the black chick and the hippo:

  • Rude
  • Work as receptionists
  • Stink even after being in water all day
  • Treated as game by white men
  • DO NOT WANT
  • Have problems with locomotion over land.
  • Tusks
  • God is ashamed to have created them
  • Black men will fuck it if there are no white wiminz to rape
  • Beat their children
  • Take ENORMOUS dumps all over the place
  • Tip over kayaks
  • Look hilarious when wearing human clothes and makeup
  • Appear in rap videos
  • Both are the two least feminine creatures on Earth
  • Bad genes
  • Breath stinks
  • ????
  • NO PROFIT!

Opposing Views

Hawt black women.

Because every group of people deserve a little blurb of positivity. So despite what was previously described here (and what many bitter disgruntled men of the black race will tell you (see lie)) black females receive higher education than black males, who are more likely to end up in jail than college. Black women date inter-racially in less numbers than their male counterparts often either due to racial loyalty or the stigma of slavery rape. The times you do see a black woman accompanied by a white male they are often attractive, physically fit and educated. On the other hand, overweight white women are more likely to be the kind of women you will see accompanied by black men, who often have a look on their face as if they hit the jack pot with a white wimmen (often referred to as 'pawgs' phat ass white girls) on their arms. However, there are double standard among Black women dating White men for Black males.

Noteworthy White Males Who Have Dated or Married Black Women

  • Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein
  • Prince Albert of Monaco
  • George Lucas
  • Roger Ebert
  • Robert De Niro
  • George Clooney
  • Brad Pitt
  • Gerard Butler
  • Johnny Depp
  • Eric Clapton
  • David Bowie
  • Bob Dylan
  • Iggy Pop
  • Mick Jagger
  • Roland Betts
  • Peter Norton
  • Wolfgang Puck
  • Robin Thicke

Non Noteworthy White Males Who Have Mingled With Black Women

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Also See

  • Sittin On Tha Toilet-->One of the most famous and "lulzy" musician/rapper black female on the Internet and especially Youtube.
  • Slut-->Most of which are actually not black chicks, surprisingly.

Pimp My Black Teen

Afro Romance

The Official Black Females Thread

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
Negress is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Places

AfricaAntigua and BarbudaAtlantaChicagoDead Nigger StorageDetroitE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelHoustonKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMontenegroMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRwandaSierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSudanTanzaniaWashington, D.C.Zimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTATransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

2Pac345rv5Aaron AlexisAbner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro-chanAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAl SharptonAlison FloydAlvin GreeneAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86AnimatedJamesAntoine DodsonAxel Muganwa RudakubanaBags of MoneyBANGSBarack Hussein ObamaBarry BondsBernie MacBeyoncé KnowlesBill ClintonBill CosbyBlack DiligentBLACK_MANBlack PantherBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlackwashingBlue-SixBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsBreonna TaylorBryce WilliamsBubbaC-NOTECandyJunkieCanibusCardi BCarltonCasey BrezikCaster SemenyaCharles RamseyCharlie Check'mCheyenne CherryChina GuyChris BrownChris DornerClay ClaymoreCobanermani456Colin FergusonComedyShortsGamerCondoleezza RiceCosmo SetepenraCRoadwarriorCulexorCynthia McKinneyCyntoia BrownDaBabyDangermanDarrell BrooksDave ChappelleDavid Wu-KapauwDcigsDead nigger babyDeborrah CooperDecarlos BrownDemcadDeWayne CraddockDJBPlaythroughsDr. Laura SchlessniggerDramasetterEDP445EtikaFat Larry's BandFCU777Frank JamesFresh PrinceFreddie GrayFuture the rapperG-ZayGary ColemanGazi KodzoGeneral Butt NakedGeorge FloydH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsaac HayesIShowSpeedIsmaaiyl BrinsleyJadaJaden SmithJames WatsonJay BundyJena SixJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJinuSenpaiJkidJordan NeelyJoseph KonyJussie SmollettKamala HarrisKamala Harris (prostitute)Kanye WestKerney ThomasKingMasterReviewKobe BryantKorryn GainesKSILatarian MiltonLee RigbyLiam MangoLil BLinda CartyLoud NigraLowti3rgodM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMalik ObamaMarcellus WilliamsMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Martin SsempaMarvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMaxine WatersMC RideMeek MillMegan Thee StallionMicah DawsonMicah JohnsonMichael AregaMichael JacksonMike TysonMikese MorseMintahMiss LandmineMonica FosterMr.A.T.AndreiThomasMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNautica MaloneNawlinWikiNelson MandelaNicki MinajNigger PigNocturnus LibertusNtokozo QwabeRick RossOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOliver HartOmarosaOprah WinfreyOrlando HarrisP DiddyProfessor KuhtoonsPurple AkiQueen KongR. KellyRachel DolezalRaven WilliamsReverend XRick JamesRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRosa ParksRoyce da 5'9"RucasRudy EugeneSandro L JeanSapphyDracasesSenator Barack Hussein ObamaShamsud-Din Bahar JabbarShane Devon TamuraShaun KingSheneequaSilentóSolomon HendersonSonicfoxSonicStrifeSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSteve StephensSubToDavidlandSweet BrownT-PainTacgnolTarisai VusheTariq NasheedTawana BrawleyTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThatKidDouglasThe Black SentinelThe Booty WarriorThe Central Park FiveThe CrackheadThe Online GamerThe TrashmanTheAdviseShowTherese Patricia OkoumouTheSuperRobotSoujaOGTiger WoodsTommy SotomayorTony EvereadyTony48219Tookie WilliamsTrayvon MartinTrevor NoahTwomadTyler LumarTyra BanksTyra PattersonUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDVerbal AseViperWaluigis-girlWill SmithWilliam UnekWrong Location NiggerXiao-Feng-FuryXXXTentacionYasukeZwarte Piet

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBrraa pap pap papBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWHOOYou'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUGrand Theft Auto: San AndreasHypebeastJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPolice AbolitionPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatStreet takeoverSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWill Smith slaps Chris RockWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSRwandan GenocideSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)Vintage Black Americana

Present

ADOSAIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaISWAPKwanzaaNAACPP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznBuck BreakersCopsChimpmaniaDon ImusDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManGraykatIlluminatiJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerKu Klux KlanMoonmanPayton GendronPopobawaPermit PattyRacismRay TensingRyan PalmeterShiloh HendrixShitskin PlantationSpicsStormfrontThe BLM KillerTotal Nigger DeathWWhite people