Golliwogg

Make your kids afraid to sleep with niggers

The golliwogg, also spelled golliwog (a.k.a golly, Mr. Popo, Jynx and Imperfect Cell) is a children's character and soft toy that was created by Florence Kate Upton in 1894, while having it's heyday in the 1970s. Originally appearing in her book, The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg, the word itself blended from "golly" + "polliwog". The golliwogg is basically a black face rag doll and less smelly version of a nigger with a face that was meticulously drawn by Akira Toriyama, featuring dark black skin, luscious red lips, round white eyes, jazzy afro hair and bow tie suit. As of 2018, having a golliwogg in the UK but also in Southern US can get you arrested and charged with a hate crime.

There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until a decade or two ago, it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is outrageous that "Golly" has been censored, and insist that there is nothing wrong with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.

Secondly, Britain's police forces are infamous for their racism and dislike of black person, and so they are always on the lookout for easily-solved "crimes" that have a whiff of racism. The police think it makes good PR to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.

Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly old-fashioned loudmouths who won't shut up about the good old days, and lazy cops who know how to score easy points by harassing them. Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.

Golliwogg martyrs

It is a fact of life that where there are black person, there will be crime. Naturally, this is also true of golliwogs.

• 2018: Elected councillor apologises and resigns after sharing Facebook post to bring back Robertson's jam golliwog mascot (Archived: 1 2)
• 2017: golliwog mascot removed from Liverpool bar after whinging bitch sparks Twitter tsunami (Archived: 1 2)
• 2017: Cumbrian woman complains about shop's golliwogs, owner says "fuck off and bother the police, love" (Archived: 1 2)
• 2016: Welsh post office apologises for sparking Twitter furore due to selling golliwogs (Archived: 1 2)

  File:Robertson's jam mascot "golly" badge - policeman.png

• 2016: Liverpool thrift store lambasted for putting golliwog in window display (Archived: 1 2)
• 2013: Uppity negress complains to police that local shop's golliwog display reminds her of lynching (Archived: 1 2)
• 2013: local councillor Dawn Barnett (72) disciplined and forced to undergo "diversity training" after expressing golliwog nostalgia (Archived: 1 2)
• 2013: Moira Pickering (62) - told to remove golliwogs from toyshop window by police and threatened with prosecution (Archived: 1 2)
• 2013: Police investigate primary school wall art dating back to 1936 for depicting golliwog (Archived: 1 2)
  • 2013: Police decide school's golliwog wall art is not committing a criminal offence (Archived: 1 2)
• 2011: "My golliwogs represent racial tolerance," claims reviled shopkeeper (Archived: 1 2)
• 2011: Le 56 local politician mounts one-man crusade against local shops golliwogs (Archived: 1 2)
• 2011:Jena Mason (65) - charged with racial harassment after displaying golliwog in her window (Archived: 1 2)
  • 2011: State prosecutors admit in court that they have no evidence against Jena Mason! (Archived: 1 2)
• 2008: "They'll pry my golliwogs from my cold, dead, hands" vows Worcestershire shopkeeper (Archived: 1 2)
• 2007: Gavin Alexander (39) - Golliwogs confiscated by police, charges later dropped (Archived: 1 2)
• 2006: Donald Reynolds (53) - Golliwogs confiscated by police (Archived: 1 2)

Galleriwoggs

A more innocent age A more innocent age When things were simpler When things were simpler And life was easier And life was easier She was right about this, though She was right about this, though File:Agatha christie golliwogg book jacket - ten little niggers.jpg File:Golliwogg tea-cosy knitting pattern.jpg File:Robertson's jam mascot golly - knitting pattern for family sweaters.jpg "Mmm, darling, you smell like a hideous fake nigger" "Mmm, darling, you smell like a hideous fake nigger" As expected As expected What's the problem, here? What's the problem, here? File:Kkk autist lynches golliwogg.jpg DYSWTDT? DYSWTDT?

Gollivision

A 1983 ad for Britain's favorite marmalade, B& now of course. Tie-in marmalade merchandising (highly-collectable and probably worth a fucking fortune now) "Raise your voice and shout out 'Bring the Golliwogs Back!'" (Full-length original here) Classical music is racist too Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

File:Token black ("Golly").jpg

• Africa - for proof that golliwoggs misrepresent black person
• Knife Control
• NO NIGGERS
• Not racist
• Political Correctness

External links

• "All Things Golliwog" - the planet's one-stop shop for Golly memorabilia and stuff, based in (where else?) Australia
• "Buy Golliwogs" - it's a competitive market
• "Ebay B& my golliwogs!"'
• A UK-based golliwog fan site, not yet closed down by The Thought Police closed down!

Golliwog's Cakewalk ringtone

• Harmless amusement guaranteed (Free download; Android and iPhone versions)

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

Golliwogg is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻

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