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Alan Turing
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Notorious British nerd partially responsible for inventing the internet. Britain pwned the world by causing him to kill himself.
Short Life
He created the world's most advanced code breaking computer and cracked some Nazi codes including enigma, making him a proto-h4ck3r, and thus helped to win the war and keep Britain out of the Reich. Without him the world might have been saved by Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin.
The British Government thanked him for saving their arses by arresting him for being gay. They forced him to take female hormones because back in those fucktarded wonderful times they thought that any faggot was automatically of the opposite sex.
He wasn't allowed to work with computers anymore even though he was a fucking genius because the spooks who arrested him were batshit crazy homophobes (This is one of many reasons why England fails even more than the Spics). As he wasn't actually transsexual this made him intensely depressed. In the end, he killed himself.
Suicide
Through his death Alan not only proved himself to be an hero but also enormously gay an hero. As he was a huge fan of Snow White and The Seven Dwarves he killed himself by lacing an apple with cyanide. The world is yet to see a gayer death than this and probably never will.
A recent article in The New Yorker has alleged that Turing may not have killed himself, but rather pwned by the British intelligence.[1] After Turing was exposed as a catcher and not a pitcher when it came to getting raped in the ass by his big fatass neighbor Paul, it was no longer possible for him to get buttsecks in the Britain. Thus, he started making frequent trips to Eastern Europe in search of buttsecks with 13-year-old boys. The British intelligence were worried that Turing was trading state secrets with the commies for buttsecks, and may have pwned him as result.
It was rumored that the original rainbow Apple logo was invented to pay homage to Alan and the apple he killed himself with, but as the "fag flag" wasn't invented until two years later, that would be impossible.
Intelligent Internets
Although well known for coining the phrase "hot stuff coming through", Turing also invented the Turing Test in 1950: a method to measure intelligence in computers through a chat-room. If you replace a person with a computer without seeing it happen and can't tell the difference then the computer has intelligence.
Machines haven't yet passed the Turing Test as demonstrated by the current Governor of California in The Terminator.
Most IRC users also fail this test; in fact it has long been predicted that the Turing Test will be passed by a machine as a result of the general human level of sentience failing, rather than that of the machines increasing.
Epic Win
On September 10, 2009, the British Prime Minister apologized for his country being such a dick.
See Also
| Alan Turing is part of a series on serious business |
Serious Concepts
Free Speech • Identity theft • Irony • Internet asshole • Internet Celebrities • Internet disease • Internet drama • Internet humanitarians • Internet Law • Internet lawsuit • Internet lawyer • Internet stalking • Internet tough guy • Internet Vigilante Group • Operation Falcon Punch • Swatting • Vandalism • World Wide Web Consortium People & Organizations
2cash • Alan Turing • Casey Serin • David Hockey • Dear Cis People • Doxbin • Fast Eddie • Grace Saunders • Hallcats Squadron • Jessi Slaughter • Mary Bell • Meek Mill • Kittens • Maja Schmidt • Missy • Niggest Crook Force • Psychopath • Vloggerheads • WEB SHERIFF |
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