A '''Golliwogg''' (a.k.a. [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]], [[Pokemon|Jynx]] and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]) is a popular children's character and [[doll]] that was created by '''Florence Kate Upton''' in [[At least 100 years ago|1894]] and originally appeared in her book, '''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'''. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. As of [[2018]], having a Golliwogg in the [[UK]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate]] [[crime]].
{{spoiler|ooga booga}}
[[File:Golliwog doll.jpg|thumb|235px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with niggers]]]]
The '''golliwogg''', also spelled '''golliwo''g''''' (a.k.a '''golly''', '''[[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]''', '''[[Pokemon|Jynx]]''' and '''[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]''') is a children's character and [[doll|soft toy]] that was created by ''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]'' in [[at least 100 years ago|1894]], while having it's heyday in the 1970s. Originally appearing in her book, ''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'', the word itself blended from "[[nigger|golly]]" + "[[frog|polliwog]]". The golliwogg is basically a [[black face]] rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by the late [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. The typical golliwogg features [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|dark black skin, luscious red lips, round white eyes]], jazzy afro hair and [[Black Diligent|bow tie suit]]. As of [[2018]], having a golliwogg in the [[UK]] but also in [[Redneck|Southern]] [[US]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate crime]].
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
Secondly, Britain's [[police|police forces]] are infamous for their [[racism]] and [[murder|dislike]] of black person, and so they are [[switch police on|always on the lookout]] for easily-solved [[SNCA|"crimes"]] that have a whiff of [[bullshit|racism.]] The police think it makes good [[Propaganda|PR]] to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.
Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly [[Old people|old-fashioned loudmouths]] who won't [[STFU|shut up]] about [[retro|the good old days,]] and lazy cops who know how to score easy points [[typical|by harassing them.]] Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.
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==Golliwogg martyrs==
It is a fact of life that where there are black person, there will be crime. Naturally, this is also true of golliwogs.
* [https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/councillor-centre-golliwogs-row-says-1250484 '''2018: Elected councillor apologises and resigns after sharing Facebook post to bring back Robertson's jam golliwog mascot'''] (Archived: {{archive|DRNAB|1}} {{wayback|https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/councillor-centre-golliwogs-row-says-1250484|title=2}})
* [https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/golly-doll-removed-liverpool-city-13541743 '''2017: golliwog mascot removed from Liverpool bar after whinging bitch sparks Twitter tsunami'''] (Archived: {{archive|YNYFU|1}} {{wayback|https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/golly-doll-removed-liverpool-city-13541743|title=2}})
* [http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/15274822.Woman_shocked_at_Lake_District_shop_selling___39_racist__39__dolls/ '''2017: Cumbrian woman complains about shop's golliwogs, owner says "fuck off and bother the police, love"'''] (Archived: {{archive|NUodT|1}} {{wayback|http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/15274822.Woman_shocked_at_Lake_District_shop_selling___39_racist__39__dolls/|title=2}})
* [https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/golliwogs-taken-abergele-post-office-11787802 '''2016: Welsh post office apologises for sparking Twitter furore due to selling golliwogs'''] (Archived: {{archive|eN9QR|1}} {{wayback|https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/golliwogs-taken-abergele-post-office-11787802|title=2}})[[File:Robertson's jam mascot "golly" badge - policeman.png|right|140px]]
* [https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/wirral-charity-shop-criticised-displaying-11216878 '''2016: Liverpool thrift store lambasted for putting golliwog in window display'''] (Archived: {{archive|KlcjP|1}} {{wayback|https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/wirral-charity-shop-criticised-displaying-11216878|title=2}})
* [http://www.voice-online.co.uk/article/shopkeeper-refuses-take-down-offensive-dolls '''2013: Uppity negress complains to police that local shop's golliwog display reminds her of lynching'''] (Archived: {{archive|sDIA8|1}} {{wayback|http://www.voice-online.co.uk/article/shopkeeper-refuses-take-down-offensive-dolls|title=2}})
* [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10529940/Councillor-to-have-diversity-training-after-golliwog-remarks.html '''2013: local councillor Dawn Barnett (72) disciplined and forced to undergo "diversity training" after expressing golliwog nostalgia'''] (Archived: {{archive|6nzl1|1}} {{wayback|https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10529940/Councillor-to-have-diversity-training-after-golliwog-remarks.html|title=2}})
* [https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/take-gollies-out-of-window-say-991286 '''2013: Moira Pickering (62) - told to remove golliwogs from toyshop window by police and threatened with prosecution'''] (Archived: {{archive|lYi75|1}} {{wayback|https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/take-gollies-out-of-window-say-991286|title=2}})
* [http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24999917 '''2013: Police investigate primary school wall art dating back to 1936 for depicting golliwog'''] (Archived: {{archive|CGEMh|1}} {{wayback|http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24999917|title=2}})
** [https://www.scotsman.com/news/education/school-golliwog-mural-police-drop-investigation-1-3199454 '''2013: Police decide school's golliwog wall art is not committing a criminal offence'''] (Archived: {{archive|WvdZs|1}} {{wayback|https://www.scotsman.com/news/education/school-golliwog-mural-police-drop-investigation-1-3199454|title=2}})
* [http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/9277470.Councillor___s_fury_over_shop___s_golliwog_dolls/ '''2011: Le 56 local politician mounts one-man crusade against local shops golliwogs'''] (Archived: {{archive|elbvM|1}} {{wayback|http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/9277470.Councillor___s_fury_over_shop___s_golliwog_dolls/|title=2}})
* [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8746049/Neighbours-row-over-golliwog-in-the-window.html '''2011:Jena Mason (65) - charged with racial harassment after displaying golliwog in her window'''] (Archived: {{archive|tuIpR|1}} {{wayback|https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8746049/Neighbours-row-over-golliwog-in-the-window.html|title=2}})
** [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/oct/24/golliwog-race-charges-dropped-jena-mason '''2011: State prosecutors admit in court that they have no evidence against Jena Mason!'''] (Archived: {{archive|lI6ZV|1}} {{wayback|https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/oct/24/golliwog-race-charges-dropped-jena-mason|title=2}})
* [http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/2041180.Store_to_fight__golliwog__critics/ '''2008: "They'll pry my golliwogs from my cold, dead, hands" vows Worcestershire shopkeeper'''] (Archived: {{archive|H0Gah|1}} {{wayback|http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/2041180.Store_to_fight__golliwog__critics/|title=2}})
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20180406154218/https://www.standard.co.uk/news/police-seize-golliwogs-in-racism-probe-7185479.html '''2007: Gavin Alexander (39) - Golliwogs confiscated by police, charges later dropped'''] (Archived: {{archive||1}} {{wayback|https://www.standard.co.uk/news/police-seize-golliwogs-in-racism-probe-7185479.html|title=2}})
* [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1512030/Police-seize-golliwogs-from-shop-after-racism-claim.html '''2006: Donald Reynolds (53) - Golliwogs confiscated by police '''] (Archived: {{archive|8chj0|1}} {{wayback|https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1512030/Police-seize-golliwogs-from-shop-after-racism-claim.html|title=2}})
{{clear}}
==Galleriwoggs==
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<center>
{{frame|<center><gallery perrow=4>
File:Enid blyton book - the golliwog grumbled.png|A more innocent age
File:Enid blyton book - the proud golliwog.png|When things were simpler
File:Enid blyton book - the three golliwogs.jpg|And life was easier
File:Enid blyton - noddy gets robbed by golliwogs.jpg|She was right about this, though
File:Agatha christie golliwogg book jacket - ten little niggers.jpg
File:Golliwogg tea-cosy knitting pattern.jpg
File:Robertson's jam mascot golly - knitting pattern for family sweaters.jpg
File:1960s magazine advert - golliwogg perfume.jpg|"Mmm, darling, you smell like a hideous fake nigger"
File:Robertson's jam mascot golly badge - bike rider.jpg|[[Nigger stole my bike|As expected]]
File:Bin lorry golliwogg mascot sparks outrage.jpg|What's the problem, here?
File:Kkk autist lynches golliwogg.jpg
File:Golliwogg biscuits rebranding - then and now.png|[[ISWYDT|DYSWTDT?]]
;A [[1980s|1983]] ad for Britain's favorite marmalade, [[B&]] now [[Duh|of course.]]
|<youtube>5jJQlEgS850</youtube>
;Tie-in marmalade merchandising (highly-collectable and probably worth a fucking fortune now)
|<youtube>zYLeYZFnYsk</youtube>
;"Raise your voice and shout out 'Bring the Golliwogs Back!'"<br>(Full-length original {{ytlink|UbXq8B-53Xk|here}})
|<youtube>ovOo5mVWznQ</youtube>
;Classical music is racist too
}}|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
</center>
== See Also ==
== See Also ==
[[File:Token black ("Golly").jpg|right|175px]]
* [[Africa]] - for proof that golliwoggs misrepresent black person
* [[Knife Control]]
* [[NO NIGGERS]]
* [[Not racist]]
* [[Political Correctness]]
* [[Knife Control]]
==External links==
* [https://allthingsgolliwog.com.au/ '''"All Things Golliwog"'''] - the planet's one-stop shop for Golly memorabilia and stuff, based in (where else?) [[Australia]]
* [https://www.buygolliwogs.com/ '''"Buy Golliwogs"'''] - it's a competitive market
* [https://community.ebay.com/t5/Member-To-Member-Support/Golliwogs/qaq-p/24626840/highlight/true '''"Ebay B& my golliwogs!"'''']
* <s>[https://www.fabtintoys.com/golliwog/ '''A UK-based golliwog fan site, not yet closed down by The Thought Police''']</s> closed down!
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until a decade or two ago, it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is outrageous that "Golly" has been censored, and insist that there is nothing wrong with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
Secondly, Britain's police forces are infamous for their racism and dislike of black person, and so they are always on the lookout for easily-solved "crimes" that have a whiff of racism. The police think it makes good PR to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.
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