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Atlanta: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Atlunta.jpg|thumb|Atlanta (THE ATL) - Home of [[Gothic]]s, and [[Buttsex]]]] | [[Image:Atlunta.jpg|thumb|Atlanta (THE ATL) - Home of [[Gothic]]s, and [[Buttsex]]]] | ||
Atlanta or Asslanta, is the capital and most populous city of [[Georgia]], as well as home of the [[EFN]] and scene for many episodes of [[LiveJournal]] [[drama]]. My mom says there's a lot of [[black people]] in Atlanta, so nothing of value will be lost once the Union reaches it. | Atlanta or Asslanta, is the capital and most populous city of the fake "[[Georgia]]," as well as home of the [[EFN]] and scene for many episodes of [[LiveJournal]] [[drama]]. My mom says there's a lot of [[black people]] in Atlanta, so nothing of value will be lost once the Union reaches it. | ||
During the [[The War of Northern Aggression|Civil War]], [[William Tecumseh Sherman|Asslanta was burned to the ground]]. It rose from the ashes 100 years later to provide the world with a haven for chinless douchebag refugees from cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, while also boasting the world's most godawful soul-sucking airport. After visiting Atlanta for more than a week, usually due to a layover at Hartsfield, most non-residents attempt to burn the city to the ground again. | During the [[The War of Northern Aggression|Civil War]], [[William Tecumseh Sherman|Asslanta was burned to the ground]]. It rose from the ashes 100 years later to provide the world with a haven for chinless douchebag refugees from cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, while also boasting the world's most godawful soul-sucking airport. After visiting Atlanta for more than a week, usually due to a layover at Hartsfield, most non-residents attempt to burn the city to the ground again. | ||
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==Atlanta and Drugs== | ==Atlanta and Drugs== | ||
The streets of Atlanta, all of Georgia really, are riddled with junkies and dealers. The most notorious neighborhood for crime, and [[shock|drugs]] is the Bluffs. Upon entering this cancer of society you'll have [[heroin|boy]] screamed at you from all directions. Because it's Atlanta any black person you meet on the street is either going to rob you, or sell you fake [[drugs]]. [[Meth]] is also a favorite among [[randi harper|locals]], due to it being made there. For some reason [[date rape|GHB]] has become a recent favorite, which makes that awkward step of finding the right time to slip it into your date's drink a thing of the past. | The streets of Atlanta, all of the fake Georgia really, are riddled with junkies and dealers. The most notorious neighborhood for crime, and [[shock|drugs]] is the Bluffs. Upon entering this cancer of society you'll have [[heroin|boy]] screamed at you from all directions. Because it's Atlanta any black person you meet on the street is either going to rob you, or sell you fake [[drugs]]. [[Meth]] is also a favorite among [[randi harper|locals]], due to it being made there. For some reason [[date rape|GHB]] has become a recent favorite, which makes that awkward step of finding the right time to slip it into your date's drink a thing of the past. | ||
==Failed bullshit attempts to entertain the masses== | ==Failed bullshit attempts to entertain the masses== | ||
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*Call the blacks [[Nigger|"nigger".]] | *Call the blacks [[Nigger|"nigger".]] | ||
*Tell the [[Mexico|Mexican]] [[Spics|spics]] [[Texas]] is better. | *Tell the [[Mexico|Mexican]] [[Spics|spics]] [[Texas]] is better. | ||
*Suggest [[truth|building denser housing in the existing cities is a better idea than destroying the environment by committing deforestation for moar suburban sprawl]] | |||
*Jaywalk in front of Kevin Leonpacher, then shout "rape!!" as he beats you to death. | *Jaywalk in front of Kevin Leonpacher, then shout "rape!!" as he beats you to death. | ||
*Say the [[Fact|real Georgia (the country) is better than the fake "Georgia" (a subnational division]]). | *Say the [[Fact|real Georgia (the country) is better than the fake "Georgia" (a subnational division]]). |
Latest revision as of 10:51, 23 December 2024
Atlanta or Asslanta, is the capital and most populous city of the fake "Georgia," as well as home of the EFN and scene for many episodes of LiveJournal drama. My mom says there's a lot of black people in Atlanta, so nothing of value will be lost once the Union reaches it.
During the Civil War, Asslanta was burned to the ground. It rose from the ashes 100 years later to provide the world with a haven for chinless douchebag refugees from cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, while also boasting the world's most godawful soul-sucking airport. After visiting Atlanta for more than a week, usually due to a layover at Hartsfield, most non-residents attempt to burn the city to the ground again.
Atlanta Neighborhoods
- Midtown - Where the queers live.
- 1247 Holly - Homeless shelter for EFN members.
- Little Five Points - A place for hipsters, hippies, junkies, hobos, street musicians, and artsy fartsy people. A place to find overpriced "one of a kind" clothing, drink coffee, and get harassed by train kids as you walk anywhere in or near the square.
- Buckhead - Location of "Disco Kroger". Apparently in the 80's a disco club opened up next door to the Kroger Grocery Store, and every night around one in the morning when the club closed down, mass amounts of niggers tripping balls would shuffle into the store in search of gourmet fried chickenz, and watermelonz. Buckhead is also where the Conservatives live. There are also lots of h4wt AZN girls there.
- The Concorde - Home of onefiftytwo, Ludacris, and lots of IRL drama.
- Decatur - Half of Decatur is inhabited by nigras. The other half is made up of middle class suburban families, and lesbians. Thefrizzlefry and Hooper_X live here.
- Downtown - The homeless, and malibran. Avoid at all costs, especially the Waffle House at Underground Atlanta after 10pm.
- Duluth - Basically "Little Korea*. Was once overly suburban, but starting to become polluted by mexicans
- East Cobb/Marietta - One of the richest areas in the state, there are no nigras here
- Roswell - Extremely white suburban city. Great place to meet lolis that want to piss off mommy and daddy.
- South Atlanta, which encompasses anything below I-20 (Also known as Collie Parrrr, Eastpoint and MLK Dr.) - Nothing but black person, stay away, especially after DARK!
- North of 285 - Anything north of 285 is a fucking Mexican, chink, inhabited shithole.
- Norcross - the biggest heap of spics in all of Atlanta with more then 9000 percent of its population being Hispanic.
- Smyrna - not that far behind Norcross as far as spic percentage goes. Sightseeing includes a black person store in the shape of a chicken. Locals think it's the best fucking thing ever.
- Johns Creek - Composed only of snobby, rich white people from New England and Korea. People in Johns creek rarely leave their gated neighborhoods, in fear that they might be attacked by negroes. Main attraction - Super H Mart, a Korean supermarket full of dead fish and Hentai.
- Alpharetta - Full of rich white people.
- Milton - Mostly rich white people, with some rich niggers, spics, and azns thrown in. They want to get away from all the poor black people and spics in Atlanta by forming a new county with all the other rich, mostly white cities.
- South of 285 - Nobody was sure what the fuck was south of the perimeter but some believe that it was a vast, arid wasteland of buttes, streams, rocks, Dungeons & dragons monsters and country ass white people. Some have even speculated that perhaps there was a gate that leads to an outside world of some kind with massive jungles, while others still believe that it leads to another piece of dreary, rain soaked shit called Florida. Come to find out all it was just another ghetto mother land called Clayton County. It appears that when the city of Atlanta tore down all the crack houses in College Park all the cockroaches ran south. Its helpful to take an Ebonics translation book with you if you need to go to pick up some wetbacks to do some yard work. If you ever do find yourself south of 285, attempt to reach Peachtree City. PTC is the last bastion of white power, under siege from the black person. Be sure to bring fried chicken if you want to break through their lines.
- Woodstock - The only place in Georgia with no mud-people.
- Dekalb County - Bloated government run by Monkeys. Every three miles there is a library.
Fun Things to do in Atlanta
Take a ride on the city's metro transit system MARTA, which is actually an acronym for Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta.
Jaywalk (which is a victimless "crime" that only exists in pedestrian-hating North America), and then see how quickly Kevin Leonpacher beats you to death.
Get your ass thrown in the Gwinnett County jail and then see how quickly the guards brutally execute you when you politely ask them to tone down the anger.
Say anything about the real Georgia (the country), and no one will know what the fuck you're talking about because Americunts lack passports!
The Masquerade, a concert venue, makes every thursday night a freak show by hosting 80's night. The crowd is made up of faggots, goths. ravers that didn't have any money (80's night requires a password, not money), and some very irritated looking staff. It's always the same people, 90% of them have slept together, which leads to some great irl drama.
The Clermont Lounge is home to some of the most do not want cumdumpsters in the entire state. Part strip club, part hotel (GG Allin stayed so long that they named a room after him), and one of the must visit landmarks of the city. Blondie being the main attraction of the club, she obviously sets the bar high for the rest of the girls.
Adult Swim is based out of Atlanta, and is located next to Little 5 Points. This would probably be somewhat fun to visit, but the staff and security won't let you inside.
Walking around most neighborhoods at night will basically ensure you getting raped, shot, stabbed, or mugged. The cops will be on the scene to help asap though, except the evil Kevin Leonpacher.
Atlanta and Drugs
The streets of Atlanta, all of the fake Georgia really, are riddled with junkies and dealers. The most notorious neighborhood for crime, and drugs is the Bluffs. Upon entering this cancer of society you'll have boy screamed at you from all directions. Because it's Atlanta any black person you meet on the street is either going to rob you, or sell you fake drugs. Meth is also a favorite among locals, due to it being made there. For some reason GHB has become a recent favorite, which makes that awkward step of finding the right time to slip it into your date's drink a thing of the past.
Failed bullshit attempts to entertain the masses
- Freaknik - A large gathering of African American youths to celebrate rap music, shiny car rims and "fuck some bitches while they at it" Some one finally got smart and flushed that toilet. Also known as "Nigga's Gawn Ghetto".
- ATL film it was actually based on a Black Guy's whole life story and how the school system is based on them Anti-420 plus the Southern hood up the hidden Bong! sometimes shown in VH1 or MTV2 just because they felt like it!
- Light up Atlanta - Since inbred hicks are easily mesmerized, they brought them in, let them sweat, let them drink shitty skunk beer, and turned on the office building lights at dusk. Millions died in the aftermath of Mary Joe Sue PorkFat Panties Creamer whipping out her massive, stretch marked tits in broad daylight. One person lost an eye due to Redneck Rhodes "Shootin' off some purty fireworks" opening day.
- Steve Harvey made a Tv Show and now hosts "Family Feud" like a Professional Blackie he only invites White people into this show mainly to cover his bullshit Afternoon Lunch that he get free food no pay EBT card that he did in Illinois and California
- Georgia Games - Actually were pretty okay, with games like "Yankee tossing", "Lasting longer than three seconds in missionary position" (still an impossible feat for most southern men in general), and the all-time favorite "Get that Skoal can out of my lubed-up ass"
- Pride Festival - The pride festival is a gathering of thousands of half dressed fags from Midtown trying to grab your cock spread the gay's and give you AIDS so steer clear of this celebration.
- The 1996 Summer Olympics - Nothing but a wall to wall ghetto bazaar, and finger pointing fiasco.
- Trying to the second "Hollywood" This is super Bullshit because of walking Peach Zombies and the fact why studios are moving their asses away from Chocolatnta! This is because The amount of Black people are sufficient to represent the amount of burrito makers compare to mexicunts!
- They are not the second California, In fact these SOBS of Shotgun penis people will kick your ass if you a Proud LGBT member outside the Peachtree City, you will get shot like a mother fucker! Also, Cali has batshit earthquakes! Atlanta in the other hand, has these things next to Texas Tornados. But it's a whirlwind of bat shit at rare occasions!
- Warning: the Darkie DeKalb County cops will send a Redneck White man after your ass if you mention this and tase your ass!! Troll these wannabe thugs off by saying that Jimmy Carter blvd is now lived by Taco people and that houses are worthless there now! Also, it leads to Tucker high School which used to be a white man School!
- Arseniy Avery or Tekkidd is a fucking god in Atlanta, Which is why no nigger's Computer is safe from his timid USB Skills of WaiFoo Book! his Russian Soviet Big dick book in English! Also, Horizons School of Niggas and Gypsys but run by White demons love him! He also a Suspected Pedo Weeaboo and a total Faggot!
- Why every Black guy you see in Gas station Acts like a dick in a QT, There are no more 7-11's due to the Harry's Market and Hindu Rioting in 2002! So, Yeah QTs are everywhere Thanks Shitheads! proof of why no farmers market can fuck with Whole foods! the Harry's closed and also, The actual Reason was an old riot but it was on AJC because the Owner was a Brother of an Afghan Allah Akhbar bastard!
Other Residents
- Citrus
- amyzon2313
- neuroxin
- vomitgirl
- old_age
- Fried Chicken, Purple Drink, and Menthol Cigarettes
- RickyFLDMS
- xtex
- mikenatlga
- Mexicans
- Black People
- Kevin Leonpacher
- Cop City
- Koreans
- LARPers
- 050294
- Clay Claymore
- Lol Dæd EFG
- More Black People
How to piss someone from Atlanta off
- Tell them Jew York City and Los Angeles is better.
- Call the blacks "nigger".
- Tell the Mexican spics Texas is better.
- Suggest building denser housing in the existing cities is a better idea than destroying the environment by committing deforestation for moar suburban sprawl
- Jaywalk in front of Kevin Leonpacher, then shout "rape!!" as he beats you to death.
- Say the real Georgia (the country) is better than the fake "Georgia" (a subnational division).
- Say Grady Judd (though he's also a retarded Nazi) is a better law enforcer than Kevin Leonpacher.
- Let your kids walk or cycle to school alone.
- Support extending the MARTA subway.
- Tell the residents of Gwinnett County that they're cowards whose fear of crime is irrational.
- Say NWA is better than Outkast.
- Support building Cop City.
- Call them "rednecks". They get buttmangled over shit like that.