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DaddyOFive

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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LOL, child protective services are after DaddyOFive and the media fucking hates him now!
This person is a fierce alcoholic

You can help by sending them pamphlets and donating your liver.

This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.



DaddyOFive
Nationality Americunt  
Born December 17, 1982
Residence Maryland
JewTube Template:Ytchannel (active)
Twitter  MikeMartin1982 (active)


DaddyOFive (Michael Christopher Martin) is a proud example as to why you wear condoms, or at least learn to smack the shit out of your ungrateful kids, something they don't teach you in parenting classes. He is your typical unfunny prank YouTuber inspired by the lard cameraman behind the Angry Grandpa show, KidBehindACamera. Upon further inspection, it's pretty obvious that DaddyOFive makes videos of pranking/bullying/abusing his kids, in revenge of being the 34 year old man child that he is. At some point way before he made his YouTube channel, he went to Marineland, where he met a whale and it was love at first site for the two. So he kidnapped the whale, married her and made 5 stupid and spoiled children with her, two of them he stole from his sister and are the only gingerheads in the family. Thus, eventually creating the channel we all know and love today. All he wanted was that sweet sweet ad revenue that every "popular" YouTuber wants, so why not film your entire family fucking each other up in exchange for getting large amounts of free money, being scolded by strangers on the Internet for abusing your children, and not having to work a entire day in your life?

The cast

 
His "loving" family.
 
This is his little sport Cody! Isn't he having a great time?
 
Jake smirking in pleasure as Cody gets knocked the fuck out.
  • DaddyOFive: The main character. He is an immature asshole who's spent THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of Jew gold on video games, and that's only mentioning his games, all his kids have gaming systems of their own since they are too young for the glorious PC master race. His favorite child is Jake and his least favorite is Cody.
  • MommyOFive: Born Heather Lynn Withrow, on August 14, 1983, and has had a prior husband by the name of Rickie Zopp. The only thing she does better then looking like a whale is literally acting like a whale. This obese redneck of a woman justifies pulling a knife on her man child husband over being sprayed by a Nerf water gun. Will probably end up in a mental hospital someday. It is later on revealed that Cody and Emma are not her kids meaning at some point in between Ryan and Alex being born her and DaddyOFive sepereted. (Don't tell me that surprises you.)
  • Jake: Apparently the creator of DaddyOFive. Is known for being the clear and very obvious favorite of Daddy and MommyOFive until of course, he comes out as gay which everyone knows he will grow up to be with his soft voice then they'll kick him out at 18. Loves picking on his younger siblings cause chances are. He'll never pick on somebody his own age cause he'd cry like a little bitch.
  • Ryan: MommyOFive's favorite child hence why he's such a porker. He's mostly known for stealing candy from his parents cause he's a fat fucking cunt.
  • Emma: You know that kid is stupid when even your mother says that you're dumb. If you watch some of his cringeworthy videos. You may understand why. You may think she's a bad child but chances are they've seen nothing... They might want to run when she starts getting her period like WhaleOFive does seemingly everyday. She was also the last kid to get her first gaming system as before that, she was doing the women duties in the house like a good woman does along with MommyOFive. and of course cause girls suck at video games.
  • Cody: CopperCab back when he was a child. He's the center of attention in possibly a 3rd of DaddyOFive's videos and pranks. He's your typical screaming, immature and somewhat mentally unstable xbox live player. His favorite things to do are playing with his shit and smearing it all over the walls and floors,stealing for the hell of it and fucking around with his siblings shampoo. Daddy and MommyOFive hate this little shit so much that they literally left him at grandma's house while the rest of the family went to Disney World (mostly for stealing, despite all the kids except for Emma having been caught stealing as well). It wouldn't be a surprise to see him on the news in 10 years time about him having shot up a school or something. Then DaddyOFive will become DaddyOFour.
  • Alex: Mini Cody. Just as annoying but more loved by his parents due to not reacting to pranks as hard and not being born a ginger. Clearly hates Cody for whatever reason as he got him in trouble resulting in Cody's 3ds getting smashed by his dad. (And for the record, he didn't by him a new one.) Stupid kid thought it would be a good idea to tell his grandma about what he did which backfired on him entirely. MommyOFive shows her favoritism by preventing the dad from destroying his 3ds and still allowing him to go to Disney World. He's mostly known for stealing one of KidBehindACamera's wrestler dolls despite the fat fucker having thousands left. Arguably the dumbest kid out of the five along with Emma.

Gallery

 
Basically DaddyOFive when he has his camera everyday.
How To Properly Treat Your Children About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Dad Pulls A Gun On His Own Child

You read that sub-section title correct. While it's the less active channel, MommyOFive still has her videos up and not trying to hide her ass from anyone, and this video makes the point of this article even more clear, proving that they are indeed some sick individuals that need to seek some family therapy. Pointing your gun at one of your sons that's pretending to be a intruder as a part of some innovative "prank" and ringing the annoying alarm throughout your house in order to scare somebody into firing the trigger is one of the stupidest fucking things you can do as a parent, the situation being worsened even more when you take in consideration that they were fully aware of this event occurring prior to filming.


Child Abuse Allegations

 
Baby Mama with her crocodile tears when she got caught forging child support papers from Cody/Emma's REAL MOTHER. Make sure you get this on camera!
 
#Jakeisgayandhighconfirmed
 
Martin begging for his fans to come and save his family. Noo my sweet ad money!
 
Fucker hid all the evidence.


It's supposed that they have a child abuse ring disguised as a YouTube channel, which couldn't be closer to the truth than it already is. The parents and older kids laughing in the younger kids' face every time at the end of a video when a prank has been done, we are glad that this has stopped, despite it happening for months at a time. It's safe to say that they are raising future school shooters, since some school shooters generally have a large history of being emotionally, physically, and verbally abused by their immediate family. Michael, knowing that people were coming to logical conclusions and was really finding out what was going on behind the scenes, decided to either DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING on his channel or make every video private except one newer video in particular where he makes a statement, apologizing the whole time, being dumbed down to a bitch in front of his fat ass of a wife, and says that the videos were faked in an attempt to cover himself, even though we already know what's going on by now. He also says in the description that we are the ones that are putting him and his family in real danger, when we weren't the ones that were beating the shit out of our children. To top it all off, the title of the apology video is "Family Destroyed Over False Aquisations". Making a very long story short: if you're going to be serious for once in your life, at least make good use of your spell checker on the browser, since it doesn't even look like you tried to cover your tracks.

 
Luckily some tartlet managed to save every single one of DaddyOFive's videos on archive and is willing to share shit if anybody needs it.   YourselfSuit

Philip DeFranco

 
Phillip's recent videos, damn he's making more money than Daddy here.

One of the first people who ever made Jewtube videos upon the situation was by a show host named Philip DeFranco who is probably working for the Wall Street Journal as we speak. His channel is mainly about discussing important news that are related into today's pop culture and memes 24/7. He's also a father and is the perfect rolemodel for DaddyOFive and Keemstar. In his videos he stopped his show entirely to discuss about the child abuse of the children and how the parents are the fuckers at fault. It soon blew up on Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter, taking social media by storm as real newsreporters scramble in to get their cut of the fame and fortune. Michael Martin blames him for exposing them and their "family", aswell as blaming him for all the "hate" the channel's been getting lately. Phil reacted immediately by creating yet ANOTHER video, lashing at them back. (And trying his best to not get easily TRIGGERED by the father's retarded words.)

 
Martin blaming DeFranco on Twitter

Killer Keemstar Interview

Provided ID could not be validated.
 
He's so thirsty to try and clear his family's name.

Out of all of the Jewtubers who are roaming around on the site for drama, what better than to send our own gnome and savior killer Keemstar to check out the situation eh? Keemstar did an interview with Martin and Heather and discussing with them whether or not the prank videos are fake or real. (Most of the video is just bullshit lies from the parents mixed with Keemy being "neutral" to the situation. And the family took that to their advantage on Twitter by saying "SEE?? IT IS FAKE! JUST ASK KEEMSTAR!") At first the gnome actually believes that most of DaddyOFive's videos were faked or acted/planned out after that interview, until he watched the "DISGUSTING! Deleted Video Exposes HUGE Problem In DO5 YouTube Scandal" by DeFranco featured above. Everything was going fine and dandy, checking the vid out to add more fuel to the fire when he starts to whiteknight the family, when all of a sudden his mind snapped back into reality as he saw Emma getting slapped in the face by one of Martin's chubby sons. And after getting a vietnam flashback and feeling empathy for the bitch because he has a daughter himself, he made another video trying to EXPOSE the family and making America Great Again.

Family Exposed by News Channels and Outlets

The situation has gotten so out of hand that even news outlets and television channels are currently reporting on the parent's behavior toward their children. Sooner or later they'll end up being on Dr.Phil or on the Maury show, being worldwide actors and stars.

 
Being Internet famous is a blast!

DaddyOFive Exposed by Jewtubers

 
"IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO! CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE YOU BUTTHOLE?1!!
 
Jewtubers on Twitter unite in an angry mob. #savecodeh

 
How's it going bros, my name is DaaaddyOFive!

Youtube Poops

Thanks to these Youtube Poops and Dank Memes made be fellow Jewtubers, not only is this family a laughing stock by now ever since February, but they also helped spread the word and drama all over the Internet aswell, hence why DeFranco found this story in the first place. So please enjoy and have some lulz as these videos capture all of the clips of this family very accurately.

The Underage Fanbase/Whiteknights

Here we can see that most of DaddyOFive's 700,000 suscribers on Jewtube are only just immature 12 year olds who never won a fight in elementary school. (So they watch other kids do the fighting for them) When you encounter a DO5tard, you might notice the following things:

They are mostly living on Twitter and Youtube


They will try to make excuses saying that all of Daddy's videos are fake because he said so in his "apology"

They will use caps in their sentences to get your attention

They have terrible grammar

They are mostly between the ages of 12-17 who don't know shit about parenthood (Judging by their avatars and lies)

"I'm just a kid"

They will try to group themselves into making hashtags, videos, and GoFundMe pages

They are retarded

They will never show evidence to support their claims

They will try to pick a fight with anyone who disagrees with DO5

They will deny any evidence and try to go around it

Gingers and Rednecks have souls


Underage Debating Cancer About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
{{{5}}}



External Links

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DaddyOFive is part of a series on Psychology
  Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaCognitive dissonanceDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberalismLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyPyromaniaRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTerminological percipience disorderTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMElan SchoolEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning

DaddyOFive is part of a series on
 
UnV& Pedophiles [-+]

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