NawlinWiki

ATTENTION! This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion. You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.

NawlinWiki is a Wikipedia administrator of mixed Indian and African American descent, and aside from bots, is probably one of the most active Wikipedians ever on any wiki run by the Wikimedia Foundation. As of November 2008, he stands at a mere #15 in terms of human editors' rankings, but had made 119,916 (or 1.19916 * 10 ^ 5) edits. NawlinWiki started out on Wikipedia in 2004 as a typical IP editor writing a conflict-of-interest article about his great-aunt. He then registered an account in 2005, whilst his hometown was being epically pwnt by Mother Nature.

NawlinWiki was never cool enough to be a jazz musician

If NawlinWiki didn't sit at the computer all day, he might look like this. However, he does, and as a result, he's probably fat.

Lol, epic fail

As could be expected, NawlinWiki did not get much attention at the time of the flooding and as such he found a hugbox in the form of TOW. This is fortunate for him because if he'd (this article will refer to NawlinWiki as male for the sake of not posterity, but clarity) registered an account with the word 'wiki' in it during 2008, a little Hitler like Maxim would apply the block because since the word 'wiki' refers to a "Wikimedia Foundation process or namespace", it'd be blocked at this page just like a typical spam account and they'd have lost one of their biggest slaves for doing their dirty work without even knowing it.

NawlinWiki is the archetypal fake editor; others like Sceptre and LaraLove try but cannot reach the levels of spiritual enlightenment (or 'self-actualization' if you are a fan of Jewish philosophers/psychologists like Abraham Maslow who posited that money was more important than any airy-fairy bullshit) that NawlinWiki has gained by using the criteria for speedy deletion as a meditation technique (why meditation, you ask? More on that later in this article).

A while back, NawlinWiki, being the asspie robot slave that he is, spent almost three hours solid cleaning up the debris left behind by Grawp and his truly massive cock. Not only that, in doing so, he managed to freeze and crash the entire English Wikipedia database several times. This was considered an epic win for us all, and hit the Wikipedos hard. He is the reason why the server crashed in Peter Chimaera-esque story of Alison.

Who is NawlinWiki?

False clues led ED investigators to believe momentarily that this was NawlinWiki facefagged before he became a negro.

Prior to the publication of this article brought to you by Encyclopedia Dramatica, it was a great mystery as to the identity of NawlinWiki. Due to the fact that there is only sparse information on NawlinWiki's userpage, there have been various theories put forward as to who this anonymous pussy is, all of which involve the assumption that NawlinWiki has no life.

• Old and retired, with nothing better to do, going by the "remembers using a rotary dial telephone" userbox.
• Disabled or crippled in a wheelchair, but with the brain still intact and needing stimulation.
• A feat of artificial intelligence, involving understanding of natural language semantics in a way that no computer program has ever done before, which would make Alan Turing shit bricks in his grave.
• The philosopher of sex, Alan Soble, who got all his pornographic literature destroyed during the floods of 2005, and then gave up hope and started on Wikipedia Porn instead.
• A 20 something year old. Based on the age of his grandfather, although they start having babies at ages younger than even Chris Hansen has busted people for in Africa/India. The "rotary telephone" is probably a lie, although in Africa/India, it wouldn't be surprising!

It is known, however, that NawlinWiki is the Chris-chan of Wikipedia. Always trollable, always willing to provide moar lulz - you just need to know how to do it.

The Truth

This is a blood relative of NawlinWiki, no joke. She looks paler than most negro scum, because the recent flooding of Nawlins has washed the dirt off her face

NawlinWiki is a member of Generation X, and is a thirty-something virgin and only child who still lives with his parents. His parents were from an Indian immigrant family who moved to the Louisiana area at least 100 years ago. They have long since realized that the only thing he is good for is for fighting vandalism and spam on Wikipedia, but they let him be, because the Indian (that's Indian Indian, not Native American) work ethic which the family got whilst in contact with Protestant British colonists during the 19th century before they emigrated to the States is deeply ingrained in their culture. This kind of makes him the Chris-chan of Wikipedia, as he probably still lives with his dad Keshav Malik, who doubtless constantly tells him to stop editing that damned wiki, but Indian style, as opposed to Bob Chandler, who does it redneck style.

His great-aunt is the notable Indian classical dance teacher Kapila Vatsyayan. Srsly. Since certain peoples with their origins in certain lands in south-central Asia mix well with other races, it can be assumed that NawlinWiki is of the same genetic stock, rendering Hagger's belief about NawlinWiki correct.

NawlinWiki also claims to be a youth soccer referee.[2]

	“	people who actually have girlfriends don't need to brag about it	„
	—NawlinWiki, momentarily ditching his robotic, emotionless nature by dissing ByAppointmentTo and telling it how it is., [3]

What 13-year-old boys have to say about NawlinWiki

Last Thursday, God decided that this faggot's home town met HIS own "criteria for speedy deletion".

A Wikipedia administrator tries to pick up the pieces of broken wiki to be found in the aftermath of a Grawp raid, something which makes NawlinWiki tremble in his boots.

	“	An idiot, who can't see the benefit of Th'u~nks, and also wants to persecute our fledgeling religion!	„
	—Some other fag.

	“	NawlinWiki IS A FUCKING WHORE.	„
	—Some other other fag.

	“	NawlinWiki is a negro	„
	—Hagger

A Day (Or 30 Minutes, At Least) In The Life Of NawlinWiki

NawlinWiki, when encountering Grawp vandalism

Unlike other residents of Nawlins, NawlinWiki prefers his chikins cooked in a different style of cuisine.

This guy is either NawlinWiki's grandfather or great-uncle, as deduced by Grawp.

NawlinWiki's ancestors, at least 100 years ago hard at work.

NawlinWiki and his relatives looting a store in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Looting was widespread in a city whose population was over two-thirds Negro at the time of divine retribution.

1. 04:36, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Kaytlyn Pratt" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
2. 04:35, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) blocked "Jmarie75 (Talk | contribs)" (account creation blocked) with an expiry time of indefinite ‎ (Vandalism-only account)
3. 04:35, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" ‎ (G3: Vandalism)
4. 04:33, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Cody Dufrene" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
5. 04:32, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Michael B. Younan" ‎ (G11: Blatant advertising)
6. 04:32, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
7. 04:31, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Overthrow Chester Bennington" ‎ (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
8. 04:30, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:Ps4.jpg" ‎ (I5: Image is unused and not free)
9. 04:29, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PlayStation 4" ‎ (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
10. 04:29, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Posie pod" ‎ (G11: Blatant advertising)
11. 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Cody Dufrene" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
12. 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PlayStation 4" ‎ (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
13. 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Zach saia" ‎ (G2: Test page)
14. 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Taem" ‎ (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
15. 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "1.Differentiate dynamic scheduling and dynamic inventory. How would you integrate them to enhance productivity" ‎ (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
16. 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Crossdown crosstown" ‎ (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
17. 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "The Avon Junkies" ‎ (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
18. 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Nike 6.0" ‎ (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: db-nocontext)
19. 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "WikiProject Infoboxes/Simple templates/Example River" ‎ (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: content before blanking was: '{{Make Infobox |ibtitletext={{{river_name}}} |ibtitlebg=#cedeff |ibheadtext={{Make Infobox Head ImgCaption |imgname= )
20. 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Posie pod" ‎ (G11: Blatant advertising)
21. 04:25, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Taylor reustle" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
22. 04:22, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Jack Williams (Musician)" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
23. 04:22, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" ‎ (G3: Vandalism)
24. 04:19, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:EOT Logo.jpg" ‎ (used only for deleted article)
25. 04:18, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:EOTlogo.jpg" ‎ (used only for deleted article)
26. 04:18, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "End Of Time Entertainment" ‎ (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
27. 04:17, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Killa-mo 187" ‎ (G4: Recreation of deleted material: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Killa-mo 187)
28. 04:16, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "KeysoftSolutions" ‎ (G11: Blatant advertising)
29. 04:15, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
30. 04:14, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Farttown" ‎ (G3: Vandalism)
31. 04:12, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PLANTworldwide" ‎ (R1: Redirect to a deleted, nonexistent, or invalid target)
32. 04:12, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PLANTWW" ‎ (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: content before blanking was: '{{Infobox_Company | company_name = PLANTworldwide | company_type = Private | company_slogan = Developing your future| foundation = [[Manhattan, )
33. 04:11, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "D'Mitri Rian (RAYON) Agnes" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
34. 04:10, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) blocked "220.244.161.110 (Talk)" (anon. only, account creation blocked) with an expiry time of 55 hours ‎ (Vandalism)
35. 04:09, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Jim scheall" ‎ (G10: Pure attack page or negative unsourced BLP)
36. 04:07, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Steve Schein" ‎ (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
37. 04:07, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Maybelyn G.Ajero" ‎ (G2: Test page)

The above logs are enough to make any self-respecting Wikipedia Review member facepalm for the sake of NawlinWiki himself. However, inside sources from that particular web forum state that NawlinWiki and Persian Poet Gal are communicating through Wikipedo IRC after being set up by each others' parents in an arranged marriage and will find true WikiLove together and be happy ever after, making babies together so that they raise them for the sole purpose in life of reverting vandalism without Jimbo Wales even noticing, because Jimbo's fighting off his sex drive rather than deleting, protecting and salting HAGGER every second of his waking life like the happy couple do. Also, cocks.

NawlinWiki has also been known to visit Encyclopedia Dramatica, and in particular Talk:Grawp, the page which is being watched by many Wikipedophiles. NawlinWiki clearly hasn't discovered Talk:Hagger yet, the new club for the cool kids of Wikipedia vandalism, but he's not going to go there because Hagger has a predilect for referring to NawlinWiki as 'negro scum' for some strange reason (hell, even Hagger's slave has taken interest in NawlinWiki). The main reason that NawlinWiki reads the Grawp talk page is to try to prevent page move vandalism from happening in the first place, so he will use protection on articles that EDiots have said that they will vandalize, even if they're not going to actually do so.

NawlinWiki has also taken to the practice of deleting as many of Grawp’s edits as he can. This is particularly lulz-worthy, as Grawp can now make him temporarily delete almost any article he wants simply by moving the page. This leads to pwnage of Wikipedia’s servers, for every time NawlinWiki deletes a page with close to or over a thousand revisions, it temporarily slows down and sometimes even freezes Wikipedia’s shitty database. Examples of this censorship can be seen here and here in the pages whose links are blue.

NawlinWiki as a Bureaucratic Fuck

Disregard that and anything else this article says, this is the one and only true image of NawlinWiki known to exist.

File:NawlinWiki lag.PNG

Lol, NawlinWiki causes server lag as usual by deleting revisions made by ByAppointmentTo and Grawp.

Being a lolcow, NawlinWiki edits the abuse filter in his obsession to stop Grawp, resulting in the disabling of edits (including admin edits) and de-autoconfirming of around 200 users in just two minutes.[1] Hilarity ensues.

"nawlinwiki, i give you this medal"

NawlinWiki unmasked! Could it be true? After all, he’s a well known WikiNazi who has found fame across the entire internets! (Also note that the swastika originates in his ancestral homeland).

Actually, disregard that. This is what NawlinWiki really looks like. Not having legs means it's easy to remain on Wikipedia all day for pleasure.

Hagger pwns NawlinWiki with incivility at the administrators' noticeboard.

NawlinWiki sleeping after a hard day’s work at the wiki!

NawlinWiki’s grandfather and a man with Down’s syndrome.

Grawp and his personal army taunt NawlinWiki

NawlinWiki giving some sound advice.

NawlinShrimp

A rare moment where he seems human instead of computer program.

NawlinWiki is one of Wikipedia's biggest lolcows because he really got sucked into trying to fight Grawp, and his mistakes piss off other Wikipedia admins.

Lol, irony.

NawlinWiki, on a good day.

NawlinWiki, demonstrating the 'ripple effect' of Grawp's vandalism. His massive cock creates ripples in the waves of the wiki, which NawlinWiki tries in vain to curb, whilst his non-existent girlfriend calls him back to bed but he replies "No! I'm clearing up vandalism on the wiki! This is more important than you!"

NawlinWiki maintains a list of things that will get speedily deleted in his userspace. Being one of the most active Wikipedia admins in the field of the criteria for speedy deletion (rivalled ONLY, and we really mean ONLY, by DerHexer), everyone else in the Cabal pretty much trusts his judgment and allows him to delete whatever he fucking feels like. This page in his userspace also violates WP:BITE, because it’s telling newcomers that nobody cares about your garage band. Also, articles about sex practices clearly do not meet CSD A7 and do not meet G1 or G3 if they are written coherently, so there is no justification other than Ignore All Rules for NawlinWiki to speedily pwn articles about “the sex practice involving excretory functions that you just made up,” in his own words. They must instead be taken to AFD or PROD, because Wikipedos are obsessed with rules and process.

Unlike many other Wikipedians, NawlinWiki is not strong on communication and spending hours discussing policy changes etcetera. He tends to just get on with the job and take things into his own hands, and never questions his own actions, therefore doesn't feel the need to discuss them with others.

The faggotry and cuntishness of NawlinWiki made it to the blogosphere some time back - here, a blogger talks about NawlinWiki's faggotry back in 2006. She really gave NawlinWiki a good verbal grilling here.

	“	the bunny-deleting-bee-bigot-monster award of the internet. nawlinwiki is not only a monster, he is severely misguided as to what the internet is for. the internet is not about knowledge; the internet is not a library; and the internet is certainly no place for a person like nawlinwiki. no, the internet is a place for: porn, lyrics, stealing music & t-shirt designs, quizzes, fake quizzes, strangers judging strangers (hotornot.com) & the pets of strangers ( ratemykitten.com ; ratemybunny.com ; ratemypuppy.com ...), strangers insulting strangers, my ex-roommate: to locate the carrier of her next VD, drinking games & cheat codes, more porn, loveliness. what Wikipedia does not get is the internet-proper form of knowledge. enchantedlearning.com does it right: coloring books, fun jokes and general nonsensical loveliness. if i knew a good way to protest Wikipedia, i certainly would. Wikipedia is the breeding ground for an army of humorless, dictionary-thumping buttheads. (see: nawlinwiki).	„
	—You go girl! Rub it in his face. She also gave him the shit he deserved here as well.

The comments left after that post tend to reflect the existing body of knowledge that we all have about NawlinWiki. Among these...

	“	You will notice that lots of people are complaining that he's deleted their favorite articles now. My guess? He is a berserk robot. It's a good thing they tried out this technology on Wikipedia first. If they had gone straight to traffic cops, Nawlinwiki would be vaporizing ugly cars.	„
	—See, he is a fucking robot after all.

	“	or he might be the cop that pulled over rhianna last night. we were totally caught ridin' dirty. by that, i mean: he was speeding and Rhianna pulled out in front of him. he was black and pushy and hallucinated her high lights being on.	„
	—He is also a negro as suggested by Hagger.

	“	I hate this bastard. He must die.	„
	—An anonymous editor makes a death threat against NawlinWiki.

Amazingly, that last one is not the first death threat that NawlinWiki has been given - some idiot made a death threat against him Last Thursday for his 'censorship', and it is not known whether this person enjoyed a ride in the party van afterwords. Famous musician Tom Waits has the following to say about Nawlins and NawlinWiki:

	“	Well, I wish I was in New Orleans, I can see it in my dreams, Arm-in-arm down Burgundy, a bottle and my friends and me	„
	—Tom Waits on how he'd like to go to Nawlins and pwn NawlinWiki by getting him drunk for the first time... it's not against Hindus' religion to drink alcohol, you know, unlike with Muslims.

NawlinWiki also receives complaints when he freezes and slows down Wikipedia’s servers by deleting Grawp’s edits from articles. Here are a few examples:

	“	When NawlinWiki was doing all his Grawp deletions the other month, the server was being locked down constantly. Only for a couple minutes at a time, but he was causing it repeatedly. I jump on Wikipedia sporadically, usually, and it seemed like every time I tried to make an edit, I was getting an error message. That's a pain in the ass.	„
	—Wikipedia admin LaraLove, [4]

	“	Hi, everytime you mass delete a server angel loses its wings. Please think of the server angels. It may have not just been you, the servers have been lagging pretty bad all day today. I just am not sure I see the net positive of doing it.	„
	—Wikipedo admin Tiptoety, [5]

	“	Why are you doing this? Reverting it is sufficient, no? Why delete the whole article, then restore it, just to hide simple, childish vandalism? SQLQuery me! 04:07, 19 September 2008 (UTC) I'd also ask that you stop doing this. It really is unnecessary. - Rjd0060 (talk) 04:07, 19 September 2008 (UTC) Regarding your comment on my talkpage regarding this (keeping it here, in one place is fine, by the way, I watch every page I touch), For instance, here there is no link to a malware site, and, wikipedia as you well know, is not censored. What was the point of doing that? SQLQuery me! 04:12, 19 September 2008 (UTC) Looks like the link was cut off the end of that one because the entry was too long. It's usually there. And "not censored" means that appropriately adult topics use adult language and illustrations, not that every page's edit summaries include references to massive etc. NawlinWiki (talk) 04:15, 19 September 2008 (UTC) Fair point, however, it's not feasible to remove every edit with a summary that contains some rough language. I'm still not convinced that there is a good reason to be doing this. SQLQuery me! 04:17, 19 September 2008 (UTC) Personally, I'm in favor of the deletion, simply because the two links he usually provides (see his recent "edit" to Kim Kardashian if you need reminding). The one link is to his entry at E.D., and the other one (nimp) is to a page that will crash your browser. I'm of the opinion that one does not leave a live grenade (i.e., nimp) where the unsuspecting will discover it. Although, if you ask me, better yet would be the ability to somehow redact those links from the edit summary... Tabercil (talk) 04:52, 19 September 2008 (UTC) I'd like to request a cease to the selective deletions also. It's obvious vandalism: Preventing someone from copy-pasting or retyping a link at the cost of doing selective deletions isn't worth lagging the project. Instead of doing this, support and encourage the developers and sysadmins in implementing the newer deletion system. If nothing else, someone'll click on a nimp link only once. Kylu (talk) 06:08, 19 September 2008 (UTC) If I may interject I'm actually quite glad he's doing so in this case. I don't know about you fellows but I'd rather not check an article's history when on my laptop in a public place only to find "HUGE TITS" etc in glaring red on the page for any passerby to notice...--Kung Fu Man (talk) 11:50, 19 September 2008 (UTC) If I may, where is the discussion on the new deletion system ? Cenarium Talk 20:32, 19 September 2008 (UTC)	„
	—[6]

	“	Note: These are all JarlaxleArtemis (he's using a cypher to make it less obvious, although that kind of defeats his purpose as well).	„
	—NawlinWiki fails to recognize the real purpose of vandalism, (sauce)

NawlinWiki's anus

NawlinWiki's anus is the anus of the Wikipedia sysop known as NawlinWiki.

NawlinWiki's anus is regularly stretched and widened by Grawp's massive cock.

NawlinWiki's anus was once narrow, but is now wide, if Grawp is to be believed.

NawlinWiki's anus can be viewed getting stretched in the history of his talk page.

NawlinWiki's anus is Indian.

• 
  NawlinWiki and his tiny penis.
• 
  NawlinWiki appears on porn sites such as this so that he can make money to pay for his internet connection and delete Grawp's vandalism.
• 
  NawlinWiki posing for Wikimedia Commons
• 
  NawlinWiki and his azn friend.
• 
  NawlinWiki enjoying buttsecks.
• 
  NawlinWiki after having had his eyes gouged out by JarlaxleArtemis after he acted on the threats of violence he made.
• 
  What is an Indian soccer referee doing in America anyway?

Links

• User talk. Troll for great justice.
• Talk archives. Mainly featuring barnstars and people getting butthurt about the criteria for speedy deletion.
• His logs (deletions and protections)
• The Title Blacklist, which NawlinWiki regularly edits due to Grawp.
• NawlinWiki mentioned in Slate
• NawlinWiki's gay dating profile

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

NawlinWiki is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻

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Featured article July 26, 2008
Preceded by Japanese Bug Fights	NawlinWiki	Succeeded by Censorship