Herman Cain

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Herman Cain looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

This man wants to be president.

It's no secret that the GOP doesn't want a nigger in the White House. Seeing the brotha man take control of the Jewnited States of Americunts in January of '08 brought many a tear to the white man, to the point where they took to the streets, waved guns around, and threatened a Civil War if Obama didn't move to the back of the White House and let a real American take over. Naturally, the liberal media painted them for what they are, and soon enough, they were forced to STFU. In fact, they realized that the liberals in the country had such a stranglehold on Obama's image, that every GOP candidate that stepped up to the candidate was painted as a bad choice for America, for various reasons only leftards understand.

So what did the GOP do? The only thing they could do: Find the dumbest, blackest Uncle Tom they could find, and make him the frontrunner for the Republicunt nomination. Oh, and his only experience in leadership is being the fucking CEO of a shitty pizza chain.

999 Plan

OMG Herman Cain's inspiration.

Herman Cain, due to receiving a lifetime of Affirmative Action and hand-outs from Whitey, thought that fixing America's economy was to give everyone the exact same fucking tax rate on everything. Unfortunately, because he's a fucking retard, he didn't realize that forcing everyone to pay a 9% sales tax means raising taxes on everyone. Sound familiar? Naturally, the other GOP candidates jumped on him for this and threatened to hang him from a tree for even considering making people (including, God forbid, rich people) pay taxes, including what would amount to a tax increase for the poor.

It should come as no surprise, then, that such an unrealistically simple plan came from none other than a fucking video game. The Sims, no less. Herman Cain is no stranger to grabbing his campaign propaganda from popular culture, including a "inspirational quote" he pulled from Pokemon.

Herman Cain on The Issues

• Gay Rights: Along with the typical right wing view of the gay, Herman Cain believes that being gay is a choice (because people wake up one day and decide they want it in the ass, and despite invitations to prove this is true, he's too fucking scared of the big mean liberal media to have an actual debate.
• Foreign Policy: He doesn't give a fuck about knowing about foreign countries and is proud of being ignorant, like any typical Republican. What makes him particularly retarded, however, is that he bashed Uzbekistan, which is a country that Americunts rely on to get supplies to their troops, so in essence, he could have ruined an American alliance just because he wanted to prove he's as racist as any cracker in the GOP.

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

Herman Cain is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻

Herman Cain is part of a series on Politics.

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