- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Chris Forcand: Difference between revisions
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
imported>VX markup |
imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{天|'''According to the [[Internet Vigilante Group]] "Chris Forcand's recent arrest was on the news. They showed several "brb church" shoops and his page on EncyclopediaDramatica. | {{天|'''According to the [[Internet Vigilante Group]] "Chris Forcand's recent arrest was on the news. They showed several "brb church" shoops and his page on EncyclopediaDramatica. He's in jail now" |Brbjail.jpg|120px|#E8E8E8|100%}} | ||
{{rainbowtiny|brb, jail}} | {{rainbowtiny|brb, jail}} | ||
<br> | <br /> | ||
[[Image: forcandmugshot.jpg|thumb|Toronto PD Official Mugshot.]] | [[Image: forcandmugshot.jpg|thumb|Toronto PD Official Mugshot.]] | ||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
[[Image:CruciChris.jpg|thumb|O RLY?]] | [[Image:CruciChris.jpg|thumb|O RLY?]] | ||
When Chris is not busy studying the [[Bible]], he likes to chat to young girls on [[MSN]]. It was therefore one of Chris' most perfect moments when he met [[16-year-old girl|13-year old]] "Jessica" on | When Chris is not busy studying the [[Bible]], he likes to chat to young girls on [[MSN]]. It was therefore one of Chris' most perfect moments when he met [[16-year-old girl|13-year old]] "Jessica" on December 14, 2007. Unfortunately, perfect is the enemy of good. Chris did not have the common sense to realize there are [[No_girls_on_the_internet|no girls on the internets]]. This, combined with a remarkable interest in [[CP|females of breeding age]], made him vulnerable to epic [[fail]]. | ||
When offered the virtual delicious loli, it did not take long for Chris to expose to the world his deepest desires and dreams. After seeing some pictures, he took an immediate interest in the little Jessica's [[Tits or GTFO|mammaries]] and [[Cunt|vagina]], inviting her to send her soiled panties to him, and as the kind Christian he is, offering her a place to stay. | When offered the virtual delicious loli, it did not take long for Chris to expose to the world his deepest desires and dreams. After seeing some pictures, he took an immediate interest in the little Jessica's [[Tits or GTFO|mammaries]] and [[Cunt|vagina]], inviting her to send her soiled panties to him, and as the kind Christian he is, offering her a place to stay. | ||
| Line 17: | Line 17: | ||
Propositions like this would not be credible without some [[Webcam|camwork]]. After Chris had counted the seconds waiting for his church session to end, he was happy to find Jessica on MSN again and proceeded to [[Camwhore|whore it up]], at full force with his man-bits (''bits'' would be appropriate here, [[amirite]]?), mouth, and ass. | Propositions like this would not be credible without some [[Webcam|camwork]]. After Chris had counted the seconds waiting for his church session to end, he was happy to find Jessica on MSN again and proceeded to [[Camwhore|whore it up]], at full force with his man-bits (''bits'' would be appropriate here, [[amirite]]?), mouth, and ass. | ||
As expected, it turned out that Jessica's real name was [[Anonymous]]. Using the [[Pedo Baiting|subtle technique]] as popularized by [[Chris Hansen|people with seats]], the fine folks from [[ebaumsworld|ebaumsworld]] successfully trolled him. | As expected, it turned out that Jessica's real name was [[Anonymous]]. Using the [[Pedo Baiting|subtle technique]] as popularized by [[Chris Hansen|people with seats]], the fine folks from [[ebaumsworld|ebaumsworld]] successfully trolled him. They easily uncovered his [[docs|dox]] from the detailed information he provided, and proceeded to spam his praize.com blog and e-mail his church. | ||
On '''Wednesday December 5th, 2007''' he was [[Party Horse]]d after the heroes at the [[Internet Vigilante Group]] sent out a [[Cyber Posse]] to help the [[bestiality|Royal Canadian Mounted Police]] round up this [[pedobear|menace to society]]. | On '''Wednesday December 5th, 2007''' he was [[Party Horse]]d after the heroes at the [[Internet Vigilante Group]] sent out a [[Cyber Posse]] to help the [[bestiality|Royal Canadian Mounted Police]] round up this [[pedobear|menace to society]]. | ||
| Line 29: | Line 29: | ||
*Jesus is [[X is not your personal army|not your personal army]]. | *Jesus is [[X is not your personal army|not your personal army]]. | ||
*Chris was low on [[world of warcraft|mana]] | *Chris was low on [[world of warcraft|mana]] | ||
*Jesus was [[ | *Jesus was [[pwned]] by Romans and Jew [[at least 100]] years ago. | ||
Experts agree that Chris should have [[buy a dog|bought a dog]] instead, however, [[a cat is fine too]]. | Experts agree that Chris should have [[buy a dog|bought a dog]] instead, however, [[a cat is fine too]]. | ||
| Line 36: | Line 36: | ||
==BRB CHURCH== | ==BRB CHURCH== | ||
[[Image:BRB CHURCH.jpg|thumb|I'll show you later]] After these events "BRB, going to church" quickly became a meme. | [[Image:BRB CHURCH.jpg|thumb|I'll show you later]] After these events "BRB, going to church" quickly became a meme. This holds particular significance in a time when many struggle to combine the pursuit of heaven with the dangers of real life and the Internet. | ||
==BRB JAIL== | ==BRB JAIL== | ||
<i>For main article see [[Internet Vigilante Group]]</i><br><br> | <i>For main article see [[Internet Vigilante Group]]</i><br /><br /> | ||
On [http://www.torontosun.com/News/TorontoAndGTA/2007/12/07/4712438-sun.html December 5th, 2007], Chris Forcand was arrested by the Toronto [[party Horse|Sex Crimes Unit]] and is facing multiple [[hookers and blow|sexual and weapons]] [http://www.thestar.com/article/283256 related charges]. | On [http://www.torontosun.com/News/TorontoAndGTA/2007/12/07/4712438-sun.html December 5th, 2007], Chris Forcand was arrested by the Toronto [[party Horse|Sex Crimes Unit]] and is facing multiple [[hookers and blow|sexual and weapons]] [http://www.thestar.com/article/283256 related charges]. | ||
Forcand's days were numbered already but after a [[Cyber Posse]] from Anon's [[Internet Vigilante Group]] showed Canadian authorities a severed foot from a cleverly lain [[troll|bear trap]] that had been baited with [[loli|delicious loli]], the jig was up. DNA tests on the foot matched that of Forcand and, with that, it was to be [[brb, jail]] instead of [[brb, church]] for the [[hypocrite|devout Christian]] [[pedobear|predatory pederast]]. | Forcand's days were numbered already but after a [[Cyber Posse]] from Anon's [[Internet Vigilante Group]] showed Canadian authorities a severed foot from a cleverly lain [[troll|bear trap]] that had been baited with [[loli|delicious loli]], the jig was up. DNA tests on the foot matched that of Forcand and, with that, it was to be [[brb, jail]] instead of [[brb, church]] for the [[hypocrite|devout Christian]] [[pedobear|predatory pederast]]. | ||
| Line 52: | Line 52: | ||
[[Image:Church_brb.jpg|thumb|The Church is a big motivator for Chris.]] | [[Image:Church_brb.jpg|thumb|The Church is a big motivator for Chris.]] | ||
< | <center> | ||
{{morphquote|quotename|| | {{morphquote|quotename|| | ||
|i want to show you my cock but my son is here right now and we are going out to church. [[USB Cable|can i show you later]] when he is back home?|Chris Forcand: on Churches | |i want to show you my cock but my son is here right now and we are going out to church. [[USB Cable|can i show you later]] when he is back home?|Chris Forcand: on Churches | ||
| Line 72: | Line 72: | ||
|can i be your first cock you sucked|Chris Forcand: on Firsts | |can i be your first cock you sucked|Chris Forcand: on Firsts | ||
|I think this whole catastrophe has been a crime against humanity, not done by the hurricane but by the bureaucracy of the United States. Those responsible should be tried in the World Court for crimes against humanity and punished as deemed appropriate by the World Court.|Chris Forcand: on Jews did Katrina | |I think this whole catastrophe has been a crime against humanity, not done by the hurricane but by the bureaucracy of the United States. Those responsible should be tried in the World Court for crimes against humanity and punished as deemed appropriate by the World Court.|Chris Forcand: on Jews did [[Katrina]] | ||
|Hey thanks for creating a website on me. It will be easy for my friends to find me. I just have to explain to them that I was play-acting the fools all along. Such fools. Come play with me some more. I attend BRB Church isnt that obvious dumbos.|Chris Forcand: on [http://www.itsoverninethousand.com/brb-church/#comments this article] and the defense he plans to use in [[e-court]]}} | |Hey thanks for creating a website on me. It will be easy for my friends to find me. I just have to explain to them that I was play-acting the fools all along. Such fools. Come play with me some more. I attend BRB Church isnt that obvious dumbos.|Chris Forcand: on [http://web.archive.org/web/200810/http://www.itsoverninethousand.com/brb-church/#comments this article] and the defense he plans to use in [[e-court]]}} | ||
</ | </center> | ||
==Conversations== | ==Conversations== | ||
| Line 101: | Line 101: | ||
[[Image:Pdeopeeingincup.JPG|thumb|wanna see me pee in a cup?]] | [[Image:Pdeopeeingincup.JPG|thumb|wanna see me pee in a cup?]] | ||
* [[Chris Forcand/log1|First Log]] | * [[Chris Forcand/log1|First Log]] | ||
* [[Chris Forcand/log2|Recently, Chris spoke to a 15 year old girl named Annie | * [[Chris Forcand/log2|Recently, Chris spoke to a 15 year old girl named Annie]]. | ||
* [[Chris Forcand/log3|He likes Jesus | * [[Chris Forcand/log3|He likes Jesus]]. | ||
* [[Chris Forcand/log4|Miscellaneous Conversations]] | * [[Chris Forcand/log4|Miscellaneous Conversations]]. | ||
* [[Chris Forcand/log5|Solid Snake tries something new]] | * [[Chris Forcand/log5|Solid Snake tries something new]]. | ||
* [[Fctc#The_FCTC_milks_Chris_Forcand_like_the_lolcow_he_is|My webcam is hosted by on.nimp.org]] | * [[Fctc#The_FCTC_milks_Chris_Forcand_like_the_lolcow_he_is|My webcam is hosted by on.nimp.org]] | ||
| Line 138: | Line 138: | ||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
[[Image:pedo_tool.gif|thumb|200px|lol wut.]] | [[Image:pedo_tool.gif|thumb|200px|lol wut.]] | ||
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20071226214826 | * [http://web.archive.org/web/20071226214826/itsoverninethousand.com/archive/chris/ Backup of profiles and misc info] (Zorpia profile is IE only due to an MHT archive being the only available backup) | ||
* [http://rapidshare.com/files/184491107/chris_forcand.rar Rapidshare of the entire original thread] ([http:// | * <s>[http://rapidshare.com/files/184491107/chris_forcand.rar Rapidshare of the entire original thread]</s> ([http://web.archive.org/web/200802/itsoverninethousand.com/archive/chris/barchive.php HTTP version]) | ||
* [http://www.meetingland.com/profile.php?id=15168 Chris' Meetingland profile] ([http:// | * [http://www.meetingland.com/profile.php?id=15168 Chris' Meetingland profile] ([http://web.archive.org/web/200802/itsoverninethousand.com/archive/chris/meetingland.php Backup]) | ||
* [https:// | * [https://archive.today/jCN8 Chris' Facebook profile] | ||
* [http://web.archive.org/web/ | * [http://web.archive.org/web/20071022/itsoverninethousand.com/archive/chris/praizecomments.php Chris' Praize profile], suddenly containing many lulzy comments | ||
* [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=0000 Chris' MySpace profile] (deleted) (some fag inserted their MySpace for moar hits) | * [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=0000 Chris' MySpace profile] (deleted) (some fag inserted their MySpace for moar hits) | ||
* [http://findaperson.canada-411.ca/search/Replay?search_id=40151431046075566279&lower=1&more_i%20%20nfo=1 Canada 411] | * [http://findaperson.canada-411.ca/search/Replay?search_id=40151431046075566279&lower=1&more_i%20%20nfo=1 Canada 411] | ||
* [http:// | * [http://web.archive.org/web/2010/yorku.ca/ycom/profiles/past/mar01/current/dept/alumni/301notes.html York Alumni] | ||
* [http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/04/katrina.emails/index.html?iref=newssearch Chris talks about Hurricane Katrina] | * [http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/04/katrina.emails/index.html?iref=newssearch Chris talks about Hurricane Katrina] | ||
* [http://personals.youloveme.com/free-personals/member-15119.htm Chris' YouLoveMe.com Profile] ([http:// | * [http://web.archive.org/web/201007/personals.youloveme.com/free-personals/member-15119.htm Chris' YouLoveMe.com Profile] ([http://web.archive.org/web/200803/itsoverninethousand.com/archive/chris/youloveme.php backup]) | ||
* [http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=4162881536 Chris' bebo.com Profile] | * <s>[http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=4162881536 Chris' bebo.com Profile]</s> | ||
* [http://chicago.indymedia.org/newswire/display/67289/ Chris' mom is brainwashed by the government] | * [http://chicago.indymedia.org/newswire/display/67289/ Chris' mom is brainwashed by the government] | ||
* [http:// | * [http://web.archive.org/web/1/obituariestoday.com/BOC/BookList.cfm?Obituary_ID=41676 Chris' dad is dead] | ||
* [http://web.archive.org/web/ | * [http://web.archive.org/web/200712/twoones.com/profile.aspx?u=2D410CF6-A3DB-11DB-AC70-627AF81A9834 TwoOnes Profile] | ||
* [http://web.archive.org/web/ | * [http://web.archive.org/web/20080122/itsoverninethousand.com/brb-church/ Credit info on the way?] - Updated: Even Google says hes a pedophile | ||
Also, ED's Pwnage of Chris FOURCHAN'D is mentioned on | Also, ED's Pwnage of Chris FOURCHAN'D is mentioned on [http://www.cracked.com/article_17170_p2.html Cracked] Props to cracked. | ||
{{Pedoseries}} | {{Pedoseries}} | ||
Revision as of 05:27, 25 March 2015
|
According to the Internet Vigilante Group "Chris Forcand's recent arrest was on the news. They showed several "brb church" shoops and his page on EncyclopediaDramatica. He's in jail now" |
brb, jail
brb, jail
brb, jail
brb, jail
brb, jail
brb, jail
brb, jail
Chris Forcand is an upstanding Canadian citizen and devout Christian who resembles Don Rickles (More like Ron Dickles, AMIRITE?!). The most important things in Life according to Chris are "God, and meeting a nice girl", and his ideal partner is "younger than myself" [1].
When Chris is not busy studying the Bible, he likes to chat to young girls on MSN. It was therefore one of Chris' most perfect moments when he met 13-year old "Jessica" on December 14, 2007. Unfortunately, perfect is the enemy of good. Chris did not have the common sense to realize there are no girls on the internets. This, combined with a remarkable interest in females of breeding age, made him vulnerable to epic fail.
When offered the virtual delicious loli, it did not take long for Chris to expose to the world his deepest desires and dreams. After seeing some pictures, he took an immediate interest in the little Jessica's mammaries and vagina, inviting her to send her soiled panties to him, and as the kind Christian he is, offering her a place to stay.
Propositions like this would not be credible without some camwork. After Chris had counted the seconds waiting for his church session to end, he was happy to find Jessica on MSN again and proceeded to whore it up, at full force with his man-bits (bits would be appropriate here, amirite?), mouth, and ass.
As expected, it turned out that Jessica's real name was Anonymous. Using the subtle technique as popularized by people with seats, the fine folks from ebaumsworld successfully trolled him. They easily uncovered his dox from the detailed information he provided, and proceeded to spam his praize.com blog and e-mail his church.
On Wednesday December 5th, 2007 he was Party Horsed after the heroes at the Internet Vigilante Group sent out a Cyber Posse to help the Royal Canadian Mounted Police round up this menace to society.
His So-Called Magical Powers
After being trolled yet again, some fag alerted Chris to the existence of /b/ and of his current status as a lolcow. Whether Chris knew of the scheduled IRL raid on the 26th of October remains unknown. Anyway, Chris finally snapped to and attempted to use his magic powers to summon Jesus to his aid against Anon, but this sadly did not work and only resulted in butthurt to Chris and moar epic lulz. Experts have discerned many reasons why Chris failed:
- He was dealing with an Internet Hate Machine which is immune to the powers of Jesus.
- Jesus is Anonymous.
- Jesus doesn't give a shit about pedophiles.
- Jesus is not your personal army.
- Chris was low on mana
- Jesus was pwned by Romans and Jew at least 100 years ago.
Experts agree that Chris should have bought a dog instead, however, a cat is fine too.
BRB CHURCH
After these events "BRB, going to church" quickly became a meme. This holds particular significance in a time when many struggle to combine the pursuit of heaven with the dangers of real life and the Internet.
BRB JAIL
For main article see Internet Vigilante Group
On December 5th, 2007, Chris Forcand was arrested by the Toronto Sex Crimes Unit and is facing multiple sexual and weapons related charges.
Forcand's days were numbered already but after a Cyber Posse from Anon's Internet Vigilante Group showed Canadian authorities a severed foot from a cleverly lain bear trap that had been baited with delicious loli, the jig was up. DNA tests on the foot matched that of Forcand and, with that, it was to be brb, jail instead of brb, church for the devout Christian predatory pederast.
Notice the Encyclopedia Dramatica Screenshot at 0:50
Memorable Quotes
—Chris Forcand: on Churches | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Conversations
It is widely believed that the following exchange is the greatest thing in history:
[email protected] says: i adopt you
serious says: Mmm then we could play everday
[email protected] says: for sure
[email protected] says: andsleep together every night
serious says: if we sleep that is ;)
[email protected] says: true
[email protected] says: cause we would have sex every night
... but honorable men may differ. Complete transcripts follow.
Logs
- First Log
- Recently, Chris spoke to a 15 year old girl named Annie.
- He likes Jesus.
- Miscellaneous Conversations.
- Solid Snake tries something new.
- My webcam is hosted by on.nimp.org
Byebye Telephone
Chris' phones had been disconnected shortly after being v&. His home phone now belongs to Jordan from On Track Safety. Calls to his phone to advise he holds a number tainted by a pedophile is okay.
Gallery
-
-
Cross on cock. -
-
-
Chris Cock - Smaller & Whiter -
-
-
Fact: Chris Forcand is the only man in the world who can be both flaccid and erect at the same time. -
Jesus anyone? -
Ever the humanitarian.. -
You know what to do... -
Wooh!
See Also
External Links
- Backup of profiles and misc info (Zorpia profile is IE only due to an MHT archive being the only available backup)
Rapidshare of the entire original thread(HTTP version)- Chris' Meetingland profile (Backup)
- Chris' Facebook profile
- Chris' Praize profile, suddenly containing many lulzy comments
- Chris' MySpace profile (deleted) (some fag inserted their MySpace for moar hits)
- Canada 411
- York Alumni
- Chris talks about Hurricane Katrina
- Chris' YouLoveMe.com Profile (backup)
Chris' bebo.com Profile- Chris' mom is brainwashed by the government
- Chris' dad is dead
- TwoOnes Profile
- Credit info on the way? - Updated: Even Google says hes a pedophile
Also, ED's Pwnage of Chris FOURCHAN'D is mentioned on Cracked Props to cracked.
|
Chris Forcand is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Chris Forcand is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Chris Forcand is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article October 24, 2007 | ||
| Preceded by Irish282 |
Chris Forcand | Succeeded by Swirlface |