Perfection Girl

No. No, I can't do it. It's simply too soon after the event. It's not appropriate, and we're all still quite busted up about it. Just go away.

The Real Story

What, you're still reading? Really, we know this is ED, but some things just aren't funny. You should know better. Shame on you. Shame on you.

Seriously, go away. If you don't drop it then people are going to get interested, and then people are going to start asking the wrong questions.

Gallery of *choke* oh god

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  Stenographer's sketch
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  In happier times...
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  That poor, poor girl.
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  Drawing attention to the body tag puts us all at risk.

So sad.

What Really Really Happened

The original demotivator.

Perfection Girl was Mary-Ann Rialeb, a Canadian college girl, raised in Minnesota, she worked as a part time model. Last Thursday (read: years ago), Anon posted a motivator in a mindfuck thread on 4chan. What would cause us to shit bricks? "You're fapping to a dead chick," said Anon. Of course this caused the legion to go batshit and went into a flame war that has lasted til this day.

Death?

Some say the green wrist band she is wearing is used by hospitals to ID COMA patients,therefore implying she was in a deep coma when the picture was taken. However both the color and writing matches that of a security wrist tag from Leedsfest, a Britfag rock gig.

Gallery

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  Perfection Girl 2.0
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  Before the tragedy.

Stupid Theories

1. It has been supposed that the real mindfuck was that the perfection was artificial a la the fake drops of water on the flowers to her left; or perhaps the mindfuck is that her necklace has a cross on it.
2. Some say that she posted these herself.
3. Some argue that this site is proof that Michelle is alive. However, this is merely proof that her picture can be submitted by /b/tards to porn sites.

Facts

This is a job for Beakman.

Rosy Cheeks

Dead girls don't have rosy red cheeks, or any skin tone resembling redness, as their blood is not currently flowing to produce such an effect. It's a commonly known fact that once the body dies, the blood flow immediately starts flowing with gravity; in other words, down. Blood would have collected in the back of her head, back and backside of any limbs, and the resulting visible surface area would be a pale yellowish white instead of a rosy tan.

However, there does exist something called "make-up". Using this "make-up", one may cause dead flesh to appear to be living again. It is extremely likely that someone would apply make-up to a dead chick's body for a few minutes just to mess with anonymous and other people on the internet.

Eyes

Her eyes are in different positions in each picture. You can't change the eyeball position in dead bodies. They'll go right back to the same goddamn position over and over again, granted you manage to move it in the first place. This is because the muscles and tendons freeze up over time in death and moving them will only result in them returning to the position they were formerly in. It's 100% impossible to move one eyeball, let alone two, and have them perfectly coordinated. However, it is theorized that if you mix pop-rocks and soda and drip the solution onto a dead bodies eyes with a turkey baster, you can relax the muscles and achieve this. Lots of makeup and turkey basters are key to making a dead body look lifelike. But clearly we cannot see any empty soda bottles, pop-rock packets, or turkey basters, so there is no solid evidence. However, if you were on /b/ that night, you would know the story to be true.

As any experienced mortician will tell you cameras do in fact cause red-eye in dead things.

She Moves!!

There's that thing about dead people not moving. Yet, her lovely long legs are in a different position in each of the three pictures. Up, down on the bed, and then up and crossed. As you may or may not know, soon after death rigor mortis sets in which causes the body to stiffen. So even though she obviously could not move herself if she was dead, this also means that someone else could not have changed the position of her limbs manually, unless of course she drank anti-freeze before her death, which would aid in the breaking down of muscles.

She's Breathing

In two of the three pictures her belly is sunk in, in the third it is expanded. Beyond just having her legs move in different positions. You'd need to move her belly in and out.

The Cross Moves!!

The cross necklace resting on her stomach moves in each photograph. This could mean one of two things; either it was moved by a living Perfection Girl, or the necrophiliac photographer.

She's holding her jaw shut

Corpses have two states - complete muscle relaxation (which is what leads to the whole messy business of voided bowels and all that) and then the aforementioned rigor mortis, stiffening of the muscles to an almost woodlike consistency. The girl is being posed, or posing, therefore she cannot be in a state of rictus. And yet, her jaw is always perfectly closed, despite the gravitational pull on her positioning suggesting more or less blatantly that it should be at least slightly hanging. In other words, (like all good cumdumpsters not sucking cock, including dead ones) she is keeping her mouth closed making her a role model for all of the dead.

Antifreeze

You'd have to drink at least a gallon of antifreeze to suffer death as a side effect, in a short span of time. This girl weighing in at 2 pounds couldn't possibly have consumed 5 pounds of antifreeze without some help from the camera man.

In conclusion...

It's not Lupus.

Copypasta

Variation

Okay, here's the story of the girl, she's was in Canada, and she died from drinking antifreeze.

Her name was Mary-Ann Rialeb, and she was at a party. It was at a college senior's apartment in Vancouver. His little brother had apparently spiked some drinks with antifreeze to try to get all the girls drunk really fast, but didn't realize it was poison and could kill them.

The only one who actually drank any was Mary-Ann, and she had already had some drinks before then. She got really weird drunk and started complaining about not being able to see anything. She the guy (the senior's little bro, not the senior) convinced her to strip down and pose for some pictures. He left to get his camera and then when he came back he asked if it would be alright to snap some pictures. She didn't say anything so he assumed it was okay, and he took one or two pics. He then asked if she would change her position and pose but she still didn't say anything, so he moved her around.

As he took the pictures, he was uploading them on the computer. It wasn't until he had snapped 4 pictures that he realized she wasn't breathing. The fourth picture, he had pulled her bra off. That one is very rare.

But anyway, after that, he found she was dead and panicked and called an ambulance (after doing what he does best,) but the pictures were already up on the internet. When her mom found out, she got scared and was quoted as saying "I'm your dream, mind astray, I'm your eyes while youre away, I'm your pain while you repay. You know its SAD BUT TRUE!!!!"

Beakman's Answer

Complete nonsense, beginning with her drinking a drink contaminated with antifreeze. Sure it's a sweet poison, but there's no way she could consume a small drink with enough antifreeze in it to be toxic without realizing something was wrong. Then the symptoms don't match because it's not as if you drink antifreeze and suddenly begin dying, it has to be absorbed first! Sure, at first it appears to have the same effect as being drunk with slurred speech and dizziness, but that's only in the first few hours. It's not until the next day that serious symptoms occur and there is a possibility of death, so the odds of her ignoring any other symptoms for twelve or so hours while partying with guys she doesn't know is slim at best. Furthermore ethanol is an antidote to antifreeze. She would have been fine.

Even if all of that did happen, someone has to be lying. The girl in the photo has red cheeks, and a healthy complexion that would not be there after death. In order for this to be achieved a massive amount of make-up would have to be applied to the entire body, which would take time. Then there's the issue of her eyes, which are is several different positions in the pictures. True there is a theory about cola, pop rocks, and a turkey baster, but why would someone do that to a body they think is alive? As if all that weren't enough, what about the temperature of the body? Once she died it'd begin to cool, and he'd have to notice that she wasn't alive by that! The entire story has holes in it! Just like a woman's body does, and should!

My opinion on the story of perfection girl is the strange item half hidden under the sheets. It looks like either a panty liner or a diaper, to me at least. And yes, in 1994 a drunk Liza was abused by Lester, twice.

Hey Beakman

That "strange half hidden item" is just the tag on the blanket. Sorry to destroy your diaper conspiracy.

A word from Purpleraccoon

So, what, the photographer is a retard and didn't want to think twice about an unresponsive person who comes off as too lazy to talk or move, and not give thought to the possibility that they're dead? "lol its hard to notice if a person with a thin layer of clothes on is breathing, even as I take off their bra" So uh, he also realizes that she isn't breathing after the 4th picture, goes ahead and posts the pictures online, then comes back and realizes a second time that she's dead and takes action?

It sounds like they claim she died faster than a dog would of small amount of antifreeze.

In Conclusion...

She's probably not dead, but nobody really knows. Either way, she's still pretty hot.

Links

• http://perfectiongirl.ytmnd.com/

Perfection Girl is part of a series on Memes Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article March 4, 2009
Preceded by Tabula Rasa	Perfection Girl	Succeeded by Warren G. Harding

oh she's wearing two pairs of underwear! I get it!