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Darlie Brewster

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File:Darliebrewster. 04.png
Dave "Darlie" Brewster and his latest cartoonery)
File:Darliebrewster. 02.jpg
Dave "Darlie" Brewster, in happier times
File:Darliebrewster. 01.jpg
Dave "Darlie" Brewster

David "Darlie" Brewster is an expert cartoonist hailing from Canada, but currently living in disguise in Los Angeles. His passion for the art of female impersonation was so strong that in 2005 he decided to make it a lifestyle. Oddly, he had a achieved a certain measure of success in his day job as a cartoonist, working as "chief animator" for "DreamWorks" and other companies that specialize in child subliminal programming. He was even interviewed in the Los Angeles Times about one of his cartoon movies. Indeed, Dave was making hecka money right then, & was on track to making plenty more, when he decided to ditch that stupid day job and follow his dream: A professional career in female impersonation.

Queer quandary

Mind you, Dave was already in his late 40s when he made this decision. Would an "old lady" female impersonator be able to make enough dollars to support his monthly porn bills, let alone have a surprising number of mysterious gentlemen lined up outside the back door, the way he had always dreamed? Dave decided to go for broke. Dave was all alone in the world, and his last girlfriend had left him after he masturbated all over her lingerie, despite being warned for the fifth time never to do such a thing. He had never had sex with a man, and in fact was normally not attracted to men. As a hardcore autogynephiliac, however, the fantasy motif of anonymous sex with a "handsome stranger" played heavy on his mind. Also, debauched and jaded as he was, he felt it would make his impersonation more "valid."

Stunning and brave plan

File:Darliebrewster. 05.png
Dave "Darlie" Brewster never made it to the cover

For you see, Dave had hatched a plan. To be an impersonator of old or even middle-aged ladies did not sound so fine. In addition to getting castrated, having his Canadian penis flayed like a gopher or some other varmint and turned inside-out, creating a fetid festering fuckhole that would never properly heal, Dave was going to pay extra for "facial feminization surgery." This was a few years before Obama made the announcement that all trannies, impersonators, femme mimics and other transdeviants from the USA, Canada or Mexico could have all the unnecessary, dangerous surgery they wanted for free, until they died.

Dave had plenty of money but as a Canadian, he hated to pay normal prices for anything. He was always looking for a deal. A month's supply of estrogen pills was only like $5, but Dave sent away to an illegal pharmacy in the Philippines where he could get three months' worth for that price.

Action

One sunny day a new batch of pills came in the usual Manila envelope. Dave quickly quaffed five, took $100 grand in cash in a series of taxis and buses across the border to Tijuana, where surgery was said to be much cheaper than in the USA. He asked a policeman where to find the best surgeon in town.

And the rest is history. Three weeks later, slinky crooked-faced seductress "Darlie" snuck back across the border at 3 am because he had no ID in his new "female" disguise; and the surgeon made him look like a Mexican chick whose face was messed up. As no-one wanted to be in the proximity of something that looked like an escapee from Dr Mengele's surgical theatre, Dave's career went into decline. Steady and constant employment with Dreamworks became scrabbling for any animation work he could get.

Some things that could be developed in this article, or not

  • from 100 feet away, in the dark, he might actually have "passed," but that was more than 10 years ago
  • He's over 60 now
  • has 20 blogspot sites
  • "trans" became mainstream so there's no money in impersonation
  • spends his days attempting (but failing) to obliterate every last trace of Dave from the internet - as though he had always been a woman. Fails because his own web pages give him away. Tries to get help from Google engineers.
  • Also cartooning about shit nobody cares about

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Darlie Brewster

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