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Jose Reyes

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This page contains an hero.
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up.
Jose Reyes is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore.

WARNING:

With Spics,
Do not mix!


Jose Horacio Reyes was a 12-year-old Columbine wannabe kid with Asperger's Syndrome that shot up his middle school in Reno, Nevada.

Jose Reyes
Born July 2, 2001
Died October 21, 2013 (aged 12)
Nationality: Amerimutt  
Highscore 1 kill, 2 injured
Top 50? Not even close
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes


Background

Jose was born on July 2, 2001 in somewhere in Nevada. He had two younger sisters he frequently babysat. Reyes lived with his parents in Arizona for some time when his dad found some construction job, until they eventually moved back to Nevada. During his elementary school years, Jose started to develop symptoms Assburgers. He also started having behavioral issues such as anger when a teacher asked if he needed any help with the subjects or storm out of the classroom going apeshit!, crying about shit like changing situations, being socially awkward af, or being too quiet. (Are these last 2 problems reminding anybody of someone?) Because of these occurrences, Jose's school decided he was eligible for an IEP. Around 5th grade, a friend of Jose died in a "Gun related incident". This greatly devastated Jose, and probably fucked him up too. Before Jose would begin his 6th grade year at Sparks Middle School, there was an IEP meeting held for him, to discuss how to handle the transition from elementary school to middle school. Eventually, they came up with the decision that a Special ED person would walk him to each class. While attending Sparks Middle School, Jose would get bullied by some gangsta wannabe kids. One kid made fun of him for how Jose always stuttered. Another kid tripped him in the hallway, while others would not pay him back after he would loan them some money, even moar bullying; one kid called him a "Retarded Michael Jackson". Also during his time his behavioral problems worsened, he started getting pissed off with students and talked and laughed with himself pretending he was an army general commanding his soldiers. While attending Sparks Jose would work at his fathers' restaurant where he would cook, however, because he was so autistic, he would sometimes fuck up at his job, which resulted in his dad yelling him over every mistake. When he wasn't being a schizo arround he would sometimes use the money he earned to buy toys from stores like Wal-Mart for his little sisters.
One day in 2012 after coming home from their shifts, Jose asked his dad about a video game he wanted. This apparently made Jose's dad so angry that Jose's dad decided to punch him 3 fucking times in the head and in one of his eyes! His dad, got V& for that and was charged with child abuse and spent a night in jail, with Bubba. On October 18th 2013 Jose saw a psychologist where he was determined to have symptoms of Autism but for some random reason was not diagnosed with it. So Jose was given 10 MG's of the drug Prozac to take daily, along with some other unnamed medication. Jose also talked to the psychologist about how he was being bullied, and that there was an incident when one kid spilled some of his water on his pants in gym class where everyone began to laugh at him. Jose's dad reportedly saw no changes in his behavior once he started taking the drugs. That's because he was planning a high score attempt

Shooting

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Ruger SR9C
  • 9mm gun used on the shooting.
    Does 33-42 damage.
  • Perk: Asperger
  • X2 moving speed
    X2 shooting speed
  • Perk 2: Kid
  • Increases speed and hyperactivity between 45% and 75%. Reduces aiming a 20%. Increases undetectability between 35% and 50%.

Amoklauf

On October 21 2013, at the ripe age of 12, our hero Jose grabbed a gangsta gun and 2 magazines, which he stole from his crazed father, who was slapping his mom like an irish wife. His mom then helped her demonic son to get dressed even if he had 12 and doesn't know how to dress. Once he arrives at schule, his mom notices a tactical assault BB rifle coming out of his backpack. Jose tries to lie to her saying his teacher needs it for a "Science project", but his mom made him leave it. It's assumed he planned to use it, even if is a BB rifle, that does less than 5 damage. Jose makes his way down to the basketball courts while classes hasn't started yet and he walks to talk with a group of students. However, Jose finds himself in a shit situation once more, and gets bullied by his last time by the group of spic gangstas for his speech problems. So like many autistic students would do, he pulls out the handgun and begins his attempt to get to the high score. Jose, shoots one of the bullies in the shoulder. He fires more shots at people but can't aim for moar points. He then walked around until he came across teacher Michael Landsberry. Landsberry, who was a war veteran, tried to get Jose to drop the weapon, in which Jose told him "No!" and to back away from him, but then this little crazy columbiner shoots him straight in the abdomen, magically killing him instantly (don't ask how he killed instantly, cuz there is no clear answer). A friend of Jose's comes and tries to help Landsberry, but Jose then aims the banhammer at him. Jose's friend then begged for Jose not to shoot him, but, Jose wants to get moar high score and he then shoots his own friend in the stomach, wounding him. He then keeps walking around until he comes across a group of 5 students cowering in fear. Jose yells about how he is going to kill them, but doesn't even do it. So Jose, again, walks around, just firing at random shit. He is even seen on CCTV footage trying to enter the school but the door was locked. Eventually his first magazine runs out of ammo so he reloads his gun, and has trouble cocking the gun slide. Once he cocks it, this absolute fail decides to just end this awful ragequit, by shooting himself in the head. He is noted as the youngest school shooter to commit suicide RECORD BROKEN! The youngest school shooter to an hero, and the youngest of them all, is the Colegio Cervantes Shooter, who also pwned a teacher, but managed to aim to moar points

Aftermath

It turns out, the ragequit ended before the pigs even arrived, probably saving Jose from serving juvie time with Bubba Jr. Upon searching his backpack, police found an Angry Birds notebook which Jose left 2 suicide notes. They also found his cellphone in which they found photos of Columbine high school pranksters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, TJ Lane, and Kip Kinkel, suggesting Jose took some inspiration. And based on internet search history from his phone and the family laptop, it seems Jose did indeed research school shootings, along with other topics like "top 10 evil children" "revenge" "bullying" "frontier middle school shooting" "what if nazis won ww2" and Super Columbine Massacre RPG. The pigs also found 69 video games owned by Jose across the PS2, Dreamcast, and Xbox 360 consoles, more than 40 of them were violent. Some of the games were from series like Call Of Duty, Battlefield, Grand Theft Auto, and Hitman. Obviously those video games didn't help him for his ragequit, and ended up getting worse high score than the real hero, the couch cuck. They also found strategy games which probably brainwashed to talk like he was fucking Erwin Rommel.

After the shooting it was a dwarf coverage of media coverage for a few days and eventually was forgotten in the annals of history, most likely due do the fact that school shootings in america are a part of life. Though it was bought up a short time later during Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign on the topic of gun control. But after that, the shooting was pretty much forgotten.

Photo Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Suicide Notes

"Dear teachers and students today is the day when I kill you bastards for the embarrassment that you did. You say mean things in school. That i'm gay, that i'm lazy, stupid, idiot and also say that I pee my pants and also stealing my money. Well that all ends. Today I will get revenge on the students and teachers for ruining my life. Today I will bring a god damn pistol and rifle to shoot you and see how you like it when someone making fun of you. Once I kill you, your life will be nothing but nightmare and bad dreams. I don't care if I have a'lots of bullets to shoot all of you cause i'm gonna die tring on my last stand.And right now this school will now come to an end and your death will be rising when I shoot you. Have a great death at school."




Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 1/20 2 injured
Accuracy: 4/20 Even a kid 1 year older than you had a better aim
Style: 6/20 Dressed in a school uniform of the school he was shooting up, nothing like school spirit!
Butthurt: 13/20 Managed to get to the news quickly
Bonus: 10/20 12 year old ragequit
Total Score: 36/100 (F+)
Those hours playing video games didn't help at all
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Mall Cop


See Also

Jose Reyes
is part of a series on
An Heroes

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Died Alone

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAaron BushnellAaron HowardAaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAkbarzhon DzhalilovAlan TuringAlexis PilkingtonAmanda ToddAn HaloAndrea PignaniAndrew KehoeAndrew KoenigAnthony WarnerAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonAugust AmesBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CleggBrandon CrispBrandon HoleBrenda WilliamsBrigit GonzalezBroadt LedetBruce PardoBubba CopelandBudd DwyerCandyjunkieArcan CetinCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChloe SagalChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiClay DukeCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDerrick BirdDevin KelleyDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldElliot RodgerEmma JonesEric HarrisEtikaEuler GrandolphoGeorge HennardGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonIsrael KeyesJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJewWarioJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJohn HouserJonathan Kendrick LewisJosé BettsJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseLowtaxMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMia JaninMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNathaniel BerhowNghtmrchld26Nikita LytkinNikki CatsourasOldDirtyBtardOtoya YamaguchiPanya KhamrabPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRina PalenkovaRobert CardRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterSadie DavilaSalman AbediSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephanie Michelle BrownStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStephen PaddockStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerWilliam Atchison

Failures

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Jose Reyes is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
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Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

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Civilization and Great Prophets

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Banned From Scoring

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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Jose Reyes is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

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[All jocks stand up!NBK]
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