Equivamp
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Equivamp = infected with GOTIS You can help by not giving her any attention.
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Equivamp (Powerword Kila Brija aka Kile Onasi) is a Chris-Chan tier therian furry lolcow in the sense that she spends her free time writing fanfiction of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, uploading MSPaint drawings to DeviantArt, yiffing all the closet furries on ED IRC, and spending seemingly endless hours rollbacking template vandalism on WikiFur. All of this via using a web browser on Wii.
Despite being a WikiFurry, she has managed to become an EDitor in her thus short time with us at Encyclopedia Dramatica. She claims to be asexual, despite posting DeviantArt rants about not putting out enough[1] to satisfy her "mate", whom she maintains an online relationship with.NOPE, She dumped his ass for being a transexual.
It is also a known fact that she suffers from a variety of mental disorders, including but not limited to ADD as well as the spergs. Oh, and did we mention? Her BFF's a babyfur, and she started the babyfur group on dA.
Writings (Read at your own risk: Sue Alert Level: RED!)
AAT Revan's Return 2 by ~Equivamp
A young Jedi, coated in sweat despite how loose her plain beige robes were, came to a stop in her run, her last few steps heavy in her attempt to lose speed as soon as possible. She hid behind the tall, blue-green grass and pulled it apart like a curtain, peering forward. She carried herself almost fugitively, as if fearing detection, though, conversely, she had the confident air of one that had evaded death many times. She was looking at a ship, her ship, a large personal fighter, the Ivory Hawk. It was roughly twice the size of the smuggler she'd used on the Quest for the Star Forge, though it was similarly shaped, and derived its name from it. The Ivory Hawk was barely hidden in the sea of grass surrounding it, but it was kept from view well enough. All appeared clear to Senellast, though she wasn't naïve--she knew the peace could be a trap, so she proceeded with caution, and managed to make it to the ship safely. Inside, she kept her hand on one of her lightsabers, keeping her ears and eyes open for a blaster…or worse. The control room had a monitor, showing the contents of every room, hallway, and crevice on board--an upgrade she'd added herself. None revealed any danger, so she activated the controls, punching in the coordinates that would take her to her daughter. As the ship took off, she shuddered, and attempted to look into someone's--anyone's--eyes, which, of course, was not possible. "I'll never get used to taking off alone," Sen bemoaned in her powerful voice. Everything about Senellast was powerful: her voice, her eyes, the way she carried herself, the way she walked. She was more than a bit intimidating to a man who felt less of one compared to a woman such as herself. Not that she was looking for a man, of course. She wasn't even allowed to--well, that wasn't quite correct. According to the Council, she was allowed to have a lover, but wasn't allowed to get close to them. "And that's what's fraked up about this whole thing," Sen said aloud. "You can spend a couple credits on some passerby, but you can't have what Carth and I--" She broke off, having nearly said "have". She didn't feel as though she deserved to say she had anything with him anymore. For all she knew, he could have done what she'd told him to do when she left half a decade ago: moved on. I wonder if he did…? Sen was filled with the urge to find out , had the need to know. After all, she reasoned, if he doesn't feel the same--that there'll be no one else--I have a right to know who replaced me, to see if she cares as much for Carth as I do. And if she doesn't… Sen smiled grimly. Having resisted acting upon such urges before, she'd never acted on them. But there was something about this feeling, these empowering, euphoric thoughts and memories, that set a fire in her belly. Something was going to come of this, she knew--something had already been set in motion. As she felt the Ivory Hawk land beneath her, she could only guess at what it could be, and what sort of implications it would have on her and the ones she loved.
Quotes
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Zach Braff
—Oddguy has the right idea. | ||
All fangirls have their heroes, and Equivamp is of no exception. Who is this knight in shining armor, you might ask? Why, it is none other than an infamous unfunny Jewish cunt, Zach Braff. After disturbing everyone on EDF2 with her disgusting rampage about how she loved Scrubs, it became apparent that she was more than someone who simply liked a TV show. She wants to have sex with him, and spends what seems to be hours gathering images of him and posting them on the internet. She even stalks him through his unfunny tweets and seems to think of him as being a pwning god. If there's one thing for sure, though, it is that Scrubs has been cancelled for good and maybe she will end-up being a productive member of society instead of just some faggot who faps to ugly Jews TOO LATE, SHE ALREADY EDITS ON WIKIFUR
Trolling Equivamp
Equivamp, although claiming to be a furry troll herself, has been trolled on several occasions. If done right, she will, being that she can't handle the idea of being successfully trolled, accuse you of being a creep or just say that you are not successful. What follows if you keep pushing her will be an epic shitstorm of lulz spewing from her angry keyboard.
- Point out how one can't be a Christain Deist.
- Mention how all furfags should burn slowly.
- Harassment
- Bring up how Star Wars fanfics along with furry ones prove to be the ultimate sign of dying alone.
- Bring up how one can't be asexual and still refer to men as being "sexy".
Furry pariah
Xydexx
—The comment that started it all. | ||
In June of 2011, old Xydexx decided his life was too boring now that Kindrift lost his internet and couldn't play with him any more, so he went back to WikiFur to stir up drama with GreenReaper like the attention whore he is. He started with the Inflation related articles, of course, because it was relevant to his interests.
Much to his delight, he found a furry that had yet to deal with his fuck-nuttery: our dear Equivamp.
Despite supporting Xydexx's initial argument, Equivamp dared to point out that one number is bigger than the other, so Xydexx unleashed the fucking fury in an attempt to seem intellectual and save face. Tempers flared, and names were called. If it wasn't an edit war, one might mistake it for so many a yiffy fapfic. It was during this time that it came out that Equivamp was, in fact, an EDiot, something then-unknown to her furry comarades. Bricks were shat.
During this time, GreenReaper did nothing to stop the two. One theory is that he was watching the lulz ensue, but some argue GreenReaper has no sense of humor and was too busy fapping to Norn cock that he didn't notice. Eventually, however, he decided to take action--by moving the conversation to Xydexx's talk page, and getting involved in it.
After the discussion was moved, Equivamp apologized. She happened to stumble across Xydexx's article, however, and decided to note on the fact that he was not well-liked at WikiFur.
Big fucking mistake, Xydexx obsessively watches that article. Moar WikiFur talk page drama, moar GreenReaper white knighting. Blogs, LiveJournals, and Twitters were used to insult each other. Refusing to believe he was harrassing a teenager, Xydexx used all his powers of Google-Fu to find somewhere that Equivamp's age was not listed as 15. Soon he struck gold: her YouTube account listed her as 34. Of course, he'd already written a blog entry about her age far before he found it, so it doesn't matterHE MUST BE PSYCHIC.
According to Xydexx, she's also a Burned Fur, despite one of her FurAffinity journals talking about her drawing Animal Crossing porn, a big no-no in the Burned Fur community.
After making countless butthurt edits to his article, Equivamp lost interest and moved on to more constructive edits to the wiki. But everyone knows Xydexx never forgets, and he even made a "game" inspired by Equivamp: Equiburp. (link)
Xydexx copy-pastes his rants all over the interwebs, and uses an anonymous email service to tell her about it, spamming her inbox with over 9000 messages. gg, Xydexx.
GreenReaper
A love story turned sour. When Equivamp initially signed up for WikiFur, known pedophile GreenReaper shit his pants with glee at the new furry jailbait at his beck and call that ate up anything he said and sucked his cock more times than any other. However, during the Xydexx melodrama, he decided he didn't like the fact that Equivamp edits ED. His view of her soon turned sour, and he now spends his time making passive-aggressive comments to her. Deeply upset that her furry god has shunned her, there has been a recent and dramatic decline in her edits to WikiFur, while her edits to far superior wiki increased. She also provided his I.P. address, allowing certain information to be dropped on him. Too bad he moved to Texas to work at GameStop.
So how's your sex life Equi?
Born 26 January 1996, when she started editing ED in 14 May 2011 she was 15 years 3 months old. Being an underage furfag on the inernet, there were obviously mounds of horny older males looking to "mate" with Equi. A glance at some of the fine bachelors that lined up for her 7 years ago:
- 2 May 2011 she made a profile for Raliegh "Reyju" Reynolds, affirming awareness he was born 14 July 1994, making him 16 years 9 months old at the time.
- 15 August 2011 (then 5.5 months short of being a 16-year-old-girl) she initiated contact with then-25-year-old Tyciol who reciprocated contact and almost got b& from ED by Junius on August 28 for it. Waiting until 2017 when Equivamp was 21 years old, the decade-crossed admirer responded to her interest in the alt-right and prompted her to score double dubs while expressing her annoyance.
- Beefcake - <&Beefcake> I'll pop your cherry for you Equivamp! (date/diff/source needed)
#ed's take on it
October 2011 conversation:
00:03 < Thayo> no equi has described herself as asexual 00:03 -!- Cunt_Destroyer [[email protected]] has quit [client exited: Leaving] 00:03 < Thayo> but that itself is debtable 00:03 -!- Lucky [[email protected]] has quit [client exited: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 7.0.1/20110928134238]] 00:03 <&Mew> wait 00:03 < ty> I think it's fine as long as it's not defined to be absolute. 00:03 <&Mew> how can you have a furry asexual 00:03 <&Mew> i mean really 00:03 < ty> You can have non-sexual interests in furry art. 00:03 <&Meepsheep> ty, may i ask: do you love her? 00:04 <&Meepsheep> like 00:04 <&Meepsheep> want to hold her 00:04 < ty> WHAT IS LOVE 00:04 < NegiSpringfield> ty: shut the fuck up 00:04 <&Meepsheep> and let your hands flow through her hair 00:04 < NegiSpringfield> don't 00:04 < NegiSpringfield> say 00:04 < ty> I want to hold a lot of people including you meep :) 00:04 < armucat> extreme voyrism 00:04 < Thayo> equi obv does show sexuality 00:04 <&Meepsheep> :/ 00:04 < zed> what do you look at when you masturbate? 00:04 < armucat> that's one way 00:04 < Thayo> she just doesn't show it too much 00:04 < Thayo> well not on the internet 00:04 < ty> well obv. thayo you can just look at the sexual characteristics in the zebra fursona 00:04 <&Meepsheep> Thayo, she talks about masturnation quite often 00:04 < ty> asexuality claims are somewhat of a defense mechanism I think 00:04 <&Mew> ok, did not need that image 00:04 <&Meepsheep> *masturbation 00:04 < ty> sort of like the victorian ideal where women pretend they lack it to avoid being perceived as harlots 00:04 < zed> autism
Equivamp's timeless period piece
It turns out that Equivamp is not only an Asspie Asexual Furry, but also appears to have some system malfunctions in her love-cave-betwixt-the-thighs. She made a journal entry on furafinity.net describing, in all it's horrifying glory, the unusual patterns concerning her bleedy cunt, claiming that it happens too often and is starting to worry her... consequently amusing everyone else.
The cause of this biblical blood flow is currently unknown, but many hypothesize that it was from shoving too many a plastic Simba figurines into her poon, so as to gain some feeble form of sexual gratification, therefore causing a irreversible damage to her vagoo and instigating the strange sexual state she currently finds herself in.
— CinoxFellpyre Slowly understanding the symptoms of GOTIS | ||
Galleries
Edits
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Equivamp is known for her rare brand of unfunny. -
She is also known for her rollback trigger-finger -
See also: Writing yourself into an article
Humans
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<Equivamp> I don't even have freckles anymoreOld facebook pic, lack of freckles can be seen to the left -
Less acne and less hair. Looks just like any other female furnigger out there. -
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This is what editing on furnigger wikis does to you.
Alligator-dragon
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Why does it have chest tumors?
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Put it out of it's misery... -
So...much...autism... -
Pegasus-zebra
Miscellaneous "Art"
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If you fap to this, you deserve to be executed. But you most likely won't, considering the fact that it is a transgender tiger drawn by an ASSpie with no talent. -
Even stupid animals like foxes are smart enough not to drink toxic shit like Monster. -
She's also a pokenigger. -
This makes me want to murder someone.
See also
- Furnigger
- Chris Chan
- Zach Braff - The only thing uglier than Equivamp.
- Dyke - See for yourself.
- Trap
- Otherkin
- Assburgers
- GreenReaper
- Wikifur
External links
deviantART - Equivamp claims to be an anti-zoo, but has furry pr0n in her favorites.
FurAffinity
Twitter
Wikifur
Equivamp
YouTube: "EquivampTheFurry"- Dramapack
- FormSpring
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Equivamp is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Equivamp is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Equivamp is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |
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Equivamp is part of a series on FanFiction | |||||||||||||
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