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Iran
IraN is backward Central Asian hairy nation, it is composed of a mixture of low life species such as (Poorseans -Ajams-, Azeri Turks, Baluch, Turkmen), they are bordering IraQ on the east, and is famous for being free of homosexuals, rape, and other problems caused by rotten Poorsean nationalist ideologies. It is also known that the Iranians distinguish themselves from human beings by having ugly faces, being smelly, uni-browed, hooknosed, hairier than Bigfoot (BTW their girls have mustaches), eat smelly Mehyaveh and onion, and pronounce WaaaW as VaaaV. They are called "onion eaters, Poorseans, Caucasian Goats, Bakers," and "wannabe Arabs." As with many other Muslim nations, America appears to be the cause of all of their problems, but the Americans however claim it is because of their lack of freedom and it is rumored that America will steal their oil liberate them at some point. Also to note the Iranians appear to have been on the verge of producing nuclear weapons for the past thirty years, and many Republicans argue that time is running out and something must be done soon. The Iranians have always denied these claims, even though their entire foreign policy is sending and arming diplomats, to a certain non-Islamic country in the Middle-East and trolling the allies of said non-Islamic country, by making bedfellows with their worst enemies such as the fascist dictator great honorable Hugo Chavez.
History
Persia was a superpower at least 100 years ago, but in the wake of some severe pwnage at the hands of a Greek army led by a SPARTAAAN!!! After spending what seemed like forever to get their shit back from the Greeks, they were pwned by the Romans, and when it was Persia's turn for some pwnage in return, they got pwned by the Arabs. However when the Greeks and Romans came, they came for rape and gold, but when the Arabs came, they came for rape (but apparently they didn't like the hairy yellow dried shit covered asses).
To add more to this tragedy, it also hasn't helped matters that Iran is made up of Shiite Muslims, and thus is cursed by their own god, Allah, since everyone knows that all true authority comes from the Caliphate of Abu Bakr and is of course not reckoned by way of the lineage of Fatima, retards. Still don't get it? Most Muslims (especially Arabs) hate the Iranians and pwn them in their own countries when pushed into doing so. That shows Arab gratitude doesn't it: the Iranians only gave up their culture, religion, way of life, dignity, and civilisation for Islam, amirite?
Modern Persian history is short and uninteresting. The Persian Empire fell apart, the Persians told their Shah, to GTFO and had a democracy. Then there was this craze called WW2, but the Persians being noobs didn't get involved so when the Americans, the British, and the Russians found out the Persians had oil, Allied "peacekeepers" were sent in to restore order and the rightful ruler the Shah. It was during this enlightened dynasty that Hitler advised the Persians to change the name of the country to Iran ("Land of the Aryans"), so Hitler could get some street cred for his scientifically valid beliefs. The Iranians didn't actually notice, as far as they were concerned, they were always "Aryan;" "Persian" was just some faggotry label given to them by the Greeks, kind of like black person or gook.
Then some time in the 70s, the Iranians got pissed off by Shah being constantly rear-ended by the Americans and British, not to mention all those decadent ideas from the West such as civil rights, feminism, liberalism, pornography, etc were corrupting the youth and had to be stopped. President Jimmy Carter at the time promised to help his butt-buddy the Shah, but was instead fiddling away whilst Iran burned.
After all that shit went down, the Iranians naturally put a Mullah in charge, whilst one might bitch about booze and pornography being dealt away with, one must remember these guys made homosexuality a crime, raised the age of consent (was 9f & 14m but as of 2002 legislation is now 12 for girls and 14 for boys so as long as it's married), and undid all the things feminists have had to whine and bitch so much for. However ever since Iran refused to be on the receiving end of their dubious relationship with West, they've been pretty much openly buying terrorists their gear and shit like a rapist being caught in broad day light.
The Iranians still not content with their faggotry, then went on to troll the Americans by raiding the embassy in Tehran, needless to say, nothing of value was lost so the hostages had to wait 444 days to return home as no-one could really give a shit, but hey Great Honourable President Reagan apparently thought they were worth saving and so traded ballistic missiles for the irreplaceable skin-sacks.
About the same time in the 80s, Iran got butthurt with it's increasingly secular neighbour Iraq, and wanted to pwn Saddam Hussein and his "anti-Islamic" ways. Soon both sides went into the equivalent of a shitty cat fight with the Americans and Russians donating whatever crap they could put aside towards the Iraqis. Despite fighting the war essentially alone against Iraq which had been porked up with American and Russian gear, the Iranians managed to avoid losing, though they still failed to do anything like capture the delicious Iraqi oil. Despite this they still claimed they won...
So what is Iran up to these days?
Anti-Iranian Propaganda In My Free Press?
It is often claimed that the West has the greater moral fibre as the current Iranian regime, brainwashes and coerces their populace into believing a false reality. This has become so bad that the Iranians had infiltrated the New York Times and published shoops of the Iranian missile program, so that even abroad the enemies of Iran will tremble in fear.
Fail + Shoop = win!
I See What You Did There
OH SHI---.
How to Identify an Iranian
- Jew (but have the highest number of nose-job operations in the world - wikipedia verified)
- Smells of shit
- Unibrow
- Tasteless jewelry
- Hideously ugly
- Rages traumatically if mistaken with an Arab, from whom they are physically indistinguishable.
- Gets all butthurt when your country provides medical care for its abdicated tyrant.
- Holds you hostage for 444 days or 333 days or something and Jimmy Carter is powerless to help you.
- Hairier than Bigfoot
- Proud Persian Empire got pwned by Russia in the Russo-Persian wars.
- Butthurt about how hollywood turned Xerxes into a black person (because Iranians are Arab not niggers)
- Wants to blow up Israel (incidentally the West too), but also wants to (but won't) fuck up the Arabs afterwards.
- Is busy metaphorically rimjobing the prophet Muhammad who actually hated Persians and had his successor invade their country.
- Masterminds terrorism in Iraq, Lebanon, and Palestine, just as all Muslim nations with disposable income love to do.
Famous Iranians or People of Iranian/Persian Ancestry
Freddy Mercury (really makes you think, huh?)nevermind he was Indianhe was officially Iranian
International tiny toon Mahmoud Ahmadinejad did not like the results of the recent election to determine the HSNIC of the nuclear desert shithole. Rival Hossein Mousavi has told his supporters to ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH and take it the streets! Hossein Mousavi challenged Mahmoud for the Iranian presidency due to the incumbent's lack of beard which is essential to capture oil, the only thing that makes this country worth anyone's shit.
The two parties are stalking the country's cities, hitting each other with lead pipes as the government sends in tanks and riot poe-poes. You can do your part too, faggot, by sending a strong message with a facebook group or some retarded stamp with scrolling text on Deviantart.
- Ahmadinejad confident he will win election and lays out an ingenious military reform act with many charts!
On 15 June, wired news reports that protesters in the west have begun a massive DDOS attack on Iranian government sites. Which not only pisses off regular Iranian people, but enables the government to redirect the DDOS to the opposition sites, thus proving yet again that protestfags are massive failures.
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/06/activists-launch-hack-attacks-on-tehran-regime/
You can find a list of targets here
http://docs.google.com/View?id=dc4rpwn7_0g7xxc4d3
You knew it was bound to happen. A bunch of 14 year old raidfags with no knowledge or connection to Iran what so ever trying to make themselves useful by setting up an English forum and advertising it on English websites, hoping to compete with the already established Persian protest-forums.
How To Protest An Election In Iran
Somebody over in Iran managed to get some footage of a girl dying in the streets, shot after being involved in a protest. Of course it was uploaded to youtube before some mullah could pull the plug. The comments about the video predictably went from one extreme to the other as everybody raged. Some Aruge that this girl was actually shot by British Intelligent Agency or CIA.
Somehow, or more predictably, because of the rage, Americans decided to use the video as a soapbox so that they could rant and rave about their beliefs, who was a better president, which was to blame, and gun control (WTF?). At the time of this update, there have only been 300 views of the video, but there have been over a thousand comments made. Oh You! I love the internet.
—Thelastzomg, an Afghani, weighs in on the topic...and doesn't have any clue either. | ||
—Somebody else in the thread, it probably says something like "death to americans." | ||
—Idiots calling idiots idiots. | ||
—This lulu chick is just as nuts as Ahmadinejad. | ||
- Growing tired of all the mischievous pranks and green lipgloss, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unleashes the hounds (June 20, 2009).
Fun Facts
There is no age of consent, if you get laid, you'll get stoned to death.
If you are a Arab and by any chance you saw Jenna Jameson, you will never lose your virginity unless you open your way to Texas or Norway.
If you are a Arab You'll either lose your virginity to those guys who never seen pr0n, or you'll lose it to cucumber.
You can kill a person who has a different religion (i.e Jew) and pay a price for what you've done and be free on the streets again. If you don't have that amount of money you can do the killing part and pretend it was Allah's request.
Active duty soldiers earning something about 24U$. so if you thought eastern Europe was poor! well think again.
Gallery of Iranian Culture
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Iran never approves - mainly of Jews, Israel, happiness, and sodomites. -
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Iranian national anthem -
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forced meme is forced -
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How to get there -
Traditional Iranian clothing. -
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Gay teens in iran hanging out. -
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For Lulz. Note shit-eating grins.
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There's an idea.
See Also
- Afghanistan
- Defense Industries Organization
- Iraq
- Kazakhstan
- TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL
- Tajikistan
- FOB
- Persian Poet Gal
