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Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher was an infamous troll and oldfag who was born at least 100 years ago. Her many victims included the poor, coal miners, school children, the Soviet Empire, the entire populace of Argentina and various other wastes of space. While many claim she did this because she is an evil libertarian-nazi, it is now known that she did it for the lulz also to keep her senile fucked up Republicunt matey boy Reagan happy - even though most Amerifags referred to her as Hatchet Face when she was on the news.
She was also Jack the Ripper, God, and a pretty cool guy.
The Life and Times of Margaret Thatcher
Her favorite band was Näshulta Thugs
Famous also for pwning the poor within the UK, Thatcher used the British police, renamed the SS to beat the fuck out of the Welsh & illiterate leftards of northern England who had all been tricked into turning commie by Che Guevara T-shirts and international fag superstars The Smiths. As a result of her superhuman efforts, Thatcher was Knighted in 1984 as Iron Lady for life by the queen, and on the same day invaded and eventually pwned Argentina. She is also admired by the English people for kicking the Irish around, which will always boost one's approval ratings.
Close friends with Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Savile and Jim Davidson, Mrs Thatcher is commonly held to be the greatest leader since Hitler, and a thoroughly good chap.
Before becoming the scourge of commies worldwide, Mrs Thatcher was a noted research scientist, inventing the method by which ice cream is preserved, and discovering a substance now known as Thatcherite, lethal to communists and liberals much like AIDS is to homosexuals.
Thatcher was also known as The Milk Snatcher after she stole all the milk and cookies from the school children.
- She also "SOLD THE FAMILY SILVER" - for fuck all, to all her Tory fanbois in the city.
- Telecom (British Telco) sold at like £2 a share, sold later that day for like £6 on the stock market
- The Water Utilities (high bills & poor quality water)
- Electric Companies (Price Hikes are still going on).
- Despised feminists, despite the fact that as a woman, she would never have been given the opportunity to be elected prime minister without them.
- Openly supported apartheid in South Africa and called Nelson Mandela a 'terrorist'.
- The Gas Company (Price Hikes & the closing of the domestic gas leak service for being unprofitable)
- School meals (resulting in a generation of unhealthy children)
She set up numerous QUANGO's (Quasi Autonimous Non-elected Gov. Org's)
How So?
How was Margaret Thatcher so successful? The answer is simple - because she had a fucking huge penis. Her husband, Dennis Thatcher, had a large mangina into which she repeatedly forced herself producing their two children, Mark and Carol. Unfortunately, years of thinking she was the Queen had given her hereditary diseases that infected both her children. Carol was dropped at birth and worked over with an ugly stick. Eventually she crawled back into her Dad's fanny* where she spent most of her youth. Mark turned gay, failed at trolling a handful of niggers in Africa and found himself permabanned from the 'Western territories'.
Like all great fascist dictators, however, she only had one testicle. Still, this was enough for the Argies, wot?
*In the Sate of England, USA, [of which Margaret Thatcher was governor] 'Fanny' means haddock pastie, NOT 'arse'.
—Mr. Parry, MP | ||
Just Die Already
On the 7th of March 2008, Thatcher gave the down trodden nation of Great Britain hope when it was announce she been admitted to hospital with unknown complications. However it was soon short lived, as she was sent home a few hours later [1]. Later that year, her daughter revealed that Thatcher had dementia, which resulted in Thatcher thinking that her dead husband was still alive. [2] This means that the best way to torment her is to constantly state that her husband is dead. This lulzy process can be repeated regularly to identical effect, as a result of her crotchety old Alzheimer's brain forgetting things almost as soon as she hears them. Alzheimer's is, of course, God's invitation to rape the sufferer, given the impossibility of them ever providing coherent evidence, or simply remembering the lulz. Budding rapists would do well to remember that Thatcher's vagoo has dryness of over 9000, so lubricating is advised.
Around this time, people started planning her funeral just to scare the shit out of her. Tory fanbois insisted on giving her state funeral reported to cost the UK taxpayer £3,000,000 (or $6,000,000 lol, exchange rate). This marks the only occasion where people agreed with the Tories as while they wanted to give their glorious leader a fond farewell, the rest of the UK thought £3 million was a small price to make sure the cunt was actually dead. Well, not everyone. Some people believe the £3 million could be put to better use. "For £3 million, you could buy everybody in Scotland a shovel, and we'd dig a hole so deep we'd hand her over to Satan personally." Margaret Thatcher will be buried in a man made lake or at least she will be after all the people have finished pissing on her grave. It will be the first time the 21 gun salute will be aimed at the coffin.
There are some people in the UK who hope that she lives for fucking evar & evar, pushed round in a wheelchair while her capitalist pig fanbois all die and have her sitting there, miserable, in penance for her crimes against the people.
Goodnight Sweet Princess
—Anonymous Britfag on the death of the Iron Lady. | ||
On the eighth of April 2013 Baroness Thatcher died, allegedly after a strike stroke, although some argue that this is just a lie put out by her Tory underlings looking to disguise the fact that somebody found and destroyed all her horcruxes.
Jubilant scenes among the common people of Britain as Thatcher's death is announced.
There was much rejoicing throughout the United Kingdom and ultimately nothing of value was lost, despite much bawwwing from the Daily Fail and other scumfuck right wing tabloids, to who treated Thatcher's death as a great tragedy on the scale of a second Diana, painting the evil bitch as some sort of great British hero.
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These Scousers are having a great time! -
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Some enterprising Britfags have vandalized this cinema's sign.
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Nice shirt. -
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Fireworks in Liverpool. -
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Thatcher was buried in a state funeral that took place on the 17th of April 2013 that cost the British taxpayer £10,000,000 (a bargain in any financial crisis!) and required the presence of 700 armed forces personnel, just in case any of the peasantry tried to spoil it for the rich cunts in attendance. Several brave anons claimed to be planning to try and disrupt the funeral, but in actual fact, the ceremony passed without incident and except for George Osborne bawwwing like a little bitch, nothing really noteworthy happened.
Thatcher and Savile: The truth
—British Prime Minister the Rt Hon Margaret Hilda Thatcher MP | ||
One letter, more than any of several that are preserved in Downing Street's records, demonstrates the ease with which our man penetrated the inner circle of hellbitch Tory Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
In 1981, blatantly grooming the old sow as one of his guardian "Friends in High Places", scheming Savz declared: "Dear Prime Minister, I waited a week before writing to thank you for my lunch invitation because I had such a superb time I didn't want to be too effusive.
—(Signed) "Jimmy Savile OBE xxx." | ||
Please to be noting: The reference to him being called "Sir James" is one of Jambo's characteristic heavy-handed hints. At the time of writing the above love-letter, he hadn't received the Knighthood for which he was so obviously fishing.
But hay, guess what? It fucking worked like a charm!
The demented old hag – who was so mad that she actually invited the presenter to stay with her at Christmas (Christ, how bleak can you get?) – made not one, not two, no, not even three but -- count them! -- four separate fucking attempts to get arse-licking Savile his gong.
It's worth pointing out here that Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson had (for some mysterious reason) rejected calls to award sinister Savvo an MBE in 1970. However, savvy Jim'll was appointed OBE (the greater of the two Imperial decorations) the following year, under the incoming Conservative Prime Minister the Rt Hon Edward Heath. This was probably not a coincidence.
A confirmed bachelor and notable sailor, Mr Health was a close personal friend of Jimjam's and (if you believe Michael Shrimpton) he was also a fellow peed-oh: But even though Heath died years ago and therefore can't sue for libel, the closest the reputable media have got to "outing" Heath is by referring to him as "the subject of unsubstantiated rumours about sex with under-age boys".
Where was I? Oh, yeah - Thatcher.
She first tried to "Fix It" for Jim in 1986.
Private Secretary Nigel Wicks wrote to then-Cabinet Secretary Robert (now Lord) Armstrong: “She wonders how many more times his name is to be pushed aside, especially in view of all the great work he has done for Stoke Mandeville. She would therefore like you to consider further the inclusion of his name in this [year's Honours] list.”
In his very-carefully-worded-indeed reply, Lord Armstrong warned that the case for ennobling the old scumbag was “difficult”.
He wrote: “Mr Savile is a strange and complex man. He deserves high praise for the lead he offers in giving quiet background help to the sick. But he has made no attempt to deny the accounts in the press about his private life two or three years ago.”
This was a reference to reports of Savile boasting that he had slept with numerous women while taking part in charity events (at the time, the Government was carrying out a public information campaign concerning HIV and Aids).
During Mrs T's subsequent attempts to get Saveloy knighted, her staff began to get a bit blunter with the stupid old cow: "Fears have been expressed that Mr Savile might not be able to refrain from exploiting a knighthood in a way which brought the honours system into disrepute.’
Another letter, from her private secretary, added: "We have again considered the name of Mr Jimmy Savile, whom you have of course considered on previous occasions. We have again concluded that he should not be recommended."
La Thatch finally succeeded in getting sex-fiend Savile up before the Queen during 1990, her final year as Prime Minister.
Follow the money
Among J'aimes's other nefarious ulterior motives in grooming the "Iron Lady" was moolah. Dosh. Flipping great wodges of cash.
A Prime Ministerial aide wrote in a Downing Street note to Thatch: "Jimmy Savile asked you about the length of time necessary for charitable covenants to qualify for tax relief. The chancellor has already decided to reduce the time period for seven years to four years in next finance bill. We cannot even hint at this to Jimmy Savile at present."
Fittingly for two of the most evil people ever to walk God's green earth, Thatcher and Savile became bumchums and met quite often. But money was never far from the mind of the wily Son of York.
A 1981 memo says. "Jimmy Savile saw the prime minister this morning with the architect's plans for Stoke Mandeville hospital. He suggested to her that as a goodwill gesture to all the members of the public who had contributed, the prime minister might be prepared to give a 'government grant'." The scrounging old tosspot.
In March 1981, Big Jim had lunch with the Tory she-devil, prompting anxious enquiries from the PM's personal secretary Caroline "I know where the bodies are buried" Stephens, who wrote: "Prime Minister: Can you kindly let me know if you made any promises to Jimmy Savile when he lunched with you yesterday, for instance: (i) Did you offer him any money for Stoke Mandeville? (ii) Did you tell him that you would appear on Jim'll Fix it?"
Against the last question slaggy Maggie scrawled in her trademark dark felt pen simply: 'No' (she had already been on the old smoothy's show while leader of the opposition in 1976). But against the first question, she wrote: "Will tell you in detail. MT"
No 10 private secretary Mike Pattison noted: "The Prime Minister said was he thinking of a million pounds and Mr Savile replied that they would be grateful for any sum."
In a subsequent "smoking gun" memo on the same topic, Thatch wrote: "Promised to get govt contribution. MT."
As a result of J's backdoor establishment-felching she eventually fixed it for him AGAIN, with a behind-the-scenes deal in which HM Government ltd quite improperly spunked away £500,000 on building the wrinkly pelidofile's playground better known as Stoke Mandeville Hospital.
—-- Janet Cope, Savile's former personal assistant | ||
For some unexplained reason, the National Archive declared that sections of the files on the Thatcher/Savile love affair -- including the contents of a letter and a "telephone message" from Savile to Downing Street on 5 February 1980 -- will remain safely locked away for another 10 years, in other words till all the fuss has died down.
However ... certain lines had been deleted from the released prime ministerial paperwork, supposedly because they contained "personal details". But "murder will out" and after a lengthy appeal process under the Freedom of Information Act, the full truth (well, OK, part of it anyway) was eventually dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the darkness.
A line deleted from a crucial letter to Thatch from one of her aides (dated 6 March 1980, and initialled G.V.) was revealed to read: “Even more encouraging, though again confidential at this stage, Jimmy Savile tells me that the Prince of Wales has agreed to be Patron of the Appeal.”
Well, well, well.
Officials at the National Archive blamed the Cabinet Office, under the control of Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood, for the Royalty-related redactions.
Oh yeah, and it turns out that the file was "doctored" anyway just after Jimmy's secret life as a superhero was revealed in October 2012, in order to remove traces of serious Savile-dirt on Thatch.
- A campaign to make 'Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead!' number one in the UK singles chart on the day of Thatcher's funeral is already well underway.
- Some of the parties held to celebrate Thatcher's death had been planned for YEARS!
- Snivelling little Lib Dem turncoat, Nick Clegg, whining about the street parties accompanying Thatcher's death
See also
- Augusto Pinochet - Maggie's BFF
- Corporate Cunts
- Milk
- David Cameron - Maggie's fanboy-in-chief.
Games featuring Thatcher
| Featured article April 11 & 12, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Onision |
Margaret Thatcher | Succeeded by The Big Bang Theory |