Iran

The USA, the Eurofags, and the USA's other allies are about to start a highly explosive drama with Iran. ED, the Internet, and old new media may now have a hard time digesting or even ingesting all the pwnage, epic win, and lulz from this Madness

Iran is a backwards Islamic nation in the Middle East which is next in line to receive the gift of freedom from the USA. Iran borders Iraq, which already has freedom.

Iran should change its official flag to this to see the Americans rage!!

Being the holy Islamic nation that it is, Iran has quite lulzey laws and punishments. So no "liberated" women, no alcohol, no secks, no faggotry, and no fapping. Penalties for committing these forbidden acts include such lulzey punishments as chopping people's hands off, mutilation, stoning, crucifixion, public beheading, and firing squads. How exciting! Iran is also known for rightfully hating the Jews and exposing the lies created by them them, including, chief among them, the true story of the 9/11 attacks, as well as being enlightened holocaust deniers.

Iran also has what the Kikes and 'Murikans consider to be a "nuclear weapons development program", despite repeated UN inspections saying that there is no such thing. Like with many other Muslim nations, the Kike-controlled USA must have an excuse to invade the shithole and steal their oil bestow freedom, democracy, and prosperity unto the people of that country. Iran is a totalitarian state, which supports terrorism, persecutes and/or oppresses homosexuals, religious and also ethnic minorities and wants to become the next Nazi Germany.

History

Xerxes, the Persian King, throws a hissyfit when thousands of years after the Battle of Thermopyæ he gets re-pwnt by Sparta in the form of an androgynous gigolo.

Persia was a superpower at least 100 years ago, but in the wake of some severe pwnage at the hands of a faggot army led by a SPARTAAAN!!! After spending what seemed like forever to get their shit back from the Greeks, they were pwned by more faggots, and when it was Persia's turn for some pwnage in return, they got pwned by the Arabs.

To add more to this tragedy, it also hasn't helped matters that Iran is made up of Shiite Muslims, and thus is cursed by their own god, Allah, since everyone knows that all true authority comes from the Caliphate of Abu Bakr and is of course not reckoned by way of the lineage of Fatima, retards.

Most Muslims (especially Arabs) hate the Iranians and pwn them in their own countries when pushed into doing so because the Iranians only gave up their culture, religion, way of life, dignity, and civilization for Islam.

Modern Persian history is short and uninteresting. The Persian Empire fell apart, the Persians told their Shah to GTFO and had a democracy, then Homeyni came along and got the Iranian lifestyle 15 centuries back, especially for the bitches. Then the whole nation consecutively got raped by Britain, France and USA.

Then some time in the 70s, the Iranians got pissed off by Shah being constantly rear-ended by the Americans and British, not to mention all those decadent ideas from the West such as civil rights, feminism, liberalism, pornography, etc were corrupting the youth and had to be stopped. President Jimmy Carter at the time promised to help his butt-buddy the Shah, but was instead fiddling away whilst Iran burned.

After all that shit went down, the Iranians naturally put a Mullah in charge, whilst one might bitch about booze and pornography being dealt away with, one must remember these guys made homosexuality a crime, raised the age of consent (was 9f & 14m but as of 2002 legislation is now 12 for girls and 14 for boys so as long as it's married), and undid all the things feminists have had to whine and bitch so much for. However ever since Iran refused to be on the receiving end of their dubious relationship with West, they've been pretty much openly buying terrorists their gear and shit like a rapist being caught in broad day light.

Iranian policewomen apprehending a woman who flashed her ankles.

The Iranians still not content with their culture, then went on to troll the Americans by raiding the embassy in Tehran, needless to say, nothing of value was lost so the hostages had to wait 444 days to return home as no-one could really give a shit, but hey Great Honourable President Reagan apparently thought they were worth saving and so traded ballistic missiles for the irreplaceable skin-sacks.

About the same time in the 80s, Iran got butthurt with it's increasingly secular neighbour Iraq, and wanted to pwn Saddam Hussein and his "anti-Islamic" ways. Soon both sides went into the equivalent of a shitty cat fight with the Americans and Russians donating whatever crap they could put aside towards the Iraqis. Despite fighting the war essentially alone against Iraq which had been porked up with American and Russian gear, the Iranians managed to avoid losing, though they still failed to do anything like capture the delicious Iraqi oil. Despite this they still claimed they won... So what is Iran up to these days?

The end of the Iran-Iraq war was particularly lulzy. A US destroyer hit a Iranian mine while guarding FREEDOM, and in response the USA blew the fuck out of several oil platforms and frigates. Later, a US cruiser shot down an airliner full of Iranian civilians because they SOMEHOW thought it was an attacking F-14.

Kikes vs Cats, older than Jesus

Ok faggots, long story short Cyrus the not so great brought the wandering Jews to Iran and let them enjoy citizenship. Two centuries later Xerxes let them have an orgy on Iranians because his Jewife told him so. Pics or it didn't happen.

Nukes

Jews have nukes so Persians must too, amirite? Lol yeah!

Iranians appear to have been on the verge of producing nuclear weapons for the past thirty years, and many responsible american patriots argue that time is running out and something must be done soon. The Iranians have always denied these claims, even though their entire foreign policy is sending and arming terrorist against a certain non-Islamic country in the Middle-East and trolling the allies of said non-Islamic country, by making bedfellows with their worst enemies such as the fascist dictator great honorable Hugo Chavez and Hamas.

So there might be two reasons why Iranians don't have the nukes yet. One possible reason is that their scientists are simply not cut for it. They bought the blueprints for this 60 year-old technology from Pakistan long time ago. Not being able to reconstruct the nuke from the blueprints doesn't exactly make you a stupid person, but you shouldn't call yourself a nuclear scientist either.

The other possibility is that those monkeys are actually smarter than they look. If Iran gets nukes it will likely cause a nuclear war with Israel and/or the United States, which Iran can survive for a few minutes at best. They might be able to blow up Tel-Aviv first, but even the Ayatollahs may have decided that it wouldn't make up for everybody in their own country being either dead or dying from the radiation. So they may have decided instead that having a perpetual nuclear weapons program is scary enough.

Anti-Iranian Propaganda In My Free Press?

Free & unabridged speech rules, amirite?

It is often claimed that the West has the greater moral fibre as the current Iranian regime, brainwashes and coerces their populace into believing a false reality. This has become so bad that the Iranians had infiltrated the New York Times and published shoops of the Iranian missile program, so that even abroad the enemies of Iran will tremble in fear.

<sub>Fail + Shoop = win!


I See What You Did There


OH SHI---.</sub>

How to Identify an Iranian

Mona Lisa in Iranian style

No homosex in Iran lol!

• Jew (but have the highest number of nose-job operations in the world - wikipedia verified)
• Unibrow
• Tasteless jewelry
• Rages traumatically if mistaken with an Arab, from whom they are physically indistinguishable.
• Gets all butthurt when your country provides medical care for its abdicated tyrant.
• Holds you hostage for 444 days or 333 days or something and Jimmy Carter is powerless to help you.
• Butthurt about how hollywood turned Xerxes into a black person (because Iranians are Arab not niggers)
• Wants to blow up Israel (incidentally the West too), but also wants to (but won't) fuck up the Arabs afterwards.
• Is busy metaphorically rimjobing the prophet Muhammad who actually hated Persians and had his successor invade their country.
• Masterminds terrorism in Iraq, Lebanon, and Palestine, just as all Muslim nations with disposable income love to do.

Famous Iranians or People of Iranian/Persian Ancestry

• Freddie Mercury Disregard that, he was Indian
• Pierre Omidyar - Founder of eBay
• Omid Kordestani - A Businessman at Google

Mo' like "Democrazy," amirite fellows?

One is an Aryan, the other is a real Jewish-Aryan. A challenger appears!

International tiny toon Mahmoud Ahmadinejad did not like the results of the recent election to determine the HSNIC of the nuclear desert shithole. Rival Hossein Mousavi has told his supporters to ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH and take it the streets! Hossein Mousavi challenged Mahmoud for the Iranian presidency due to the incumbent's lack of beard which is essential to capture oil, the only thing that makes this country worth anyone's shit.

The two parties are stalking the country's cities, hitting each other with lead pipes as the government sends in tanks and riot poe-poes. You can do your part too, faggot, by sending a strong message with a facebook group or some retarded stamp with scrolling text on Deviantart.

• Ahmadinejad confident he will win election and lays out an ingenious military reform act with many charts!

Raidfags and their shenanigans

On 15 June, wired news reports that protesters in the west have begun a massive DDOS attack on Iranian government sites. Which not only pisses off regular Iranian people, but enables the government to redirect the DDOS to the opposition sites, thus proving yet again that protestfags are massive failures.

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/06/activists-launch-hack-attacks-on-tehran-regime/

You can find a list of targets here

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dc4rpwn7_0g7xxc4d3

Rising numbers of Anonymous Iranians!

You knew it was bound to happen. A bunch of 14 year old raidfags with no knowledge or connection to Iran what so ever trying to make themselves useful by setting up an English forum and advertising it on English websites, hoping to compete with the already established Persian protest-forums.

How to troll Iranians

• Call them an Arab.
• Say "Fuck ALLAH!" in the middle of a sound argument about religion.
• Tell them there's no freedom of religion in their country
• Tell them Iranian women become sluts when they move outside Iran and they can't do anything about it.
• Tell them you are an Atheist and beg them for not attacking you.
• Ask them why they stone women to death.
• Tell them they made no contribution to the human history.
• Ask them why they are poorer than Israel despite the support of Allah.
• Ask them to join Christianity.
• Tell them they are terrorists.
• Tell them their country is a threat to the world.
• Tell them how common homosexuality is in their country due to the lack of vaginal intercourse among men and women.

How To Protest An Election In Iran

Somebody over in Iran managed to get some footage of a girl dying in the streets, shot after being involved in a protest. Of course it was uploaded to youtube before some mullah could pull the plug. The comments about the video predictably went from one extreme to the other as everybody raged. Some Aruge that this girl was actually shot by British Intelligent Agency or CIA.

Somehow, or more predictably, because of the rage, Americans decided to use the video as a soapbox so that they could rant and rave about their beliefs, who was a better president, which was to blame, and gun control (WTF?). At the time of this update, there have only been 300 views of the video, but there have been over a thousand comments made. Oh You! I love the internet.

	“	Protestors are buzzards, they make a party when smell dead meat. SOME students (because are not all, im student, too) are just brainwashed elitists, they don't have support from the normal average iranian. I don't like Amademajad aswell, although some of my relatives like him, but older people knows how is Mosavi, that is why some students support him, they are elitists, and they cant remember who is he.	„
	—Thelastzomg, an Afghani, weighs in on the topic...and doesn't have any clue either.

I demand rights for hot Persian lolis!

	“	وای وای ننگ بر جمهوری اسلامی خدا لعنتتون کنه -خدا نابودتون کنه	„
	— Somebody else in the thread, it probably says something like "death to Americans." , It says "Shame on Islamic Republic, God damn you"

	“	Um. Idiot about what? That he wants Iran to have peace and freedom? That he wants to live under a ruler that doesn't give orders to his soldiers to randomly shoot his own people? I'm not sure why you're calling him an idiot, but I'm not seeing a reason for it. And even if he is an idiot, it's his decision to be an idiot. There's no reason to be rude or aggressive over it.	„
	—Idiots calling idiots idiots.

	“	What a hero Obama sent a message that the world is watching-what with popcorn and diet coke-shit if you're a fucking bastard pussy at least pretend to have balls!!	„
	—This lulu chick is just as nuts as Ahmadinejad.

• Growing tired of all the mischievous pranks and green lipgloss, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unleashes the hounds (June 20, 2009).
  
  

Fun Facts

The Iranian Zoo's favorite primate.

There is no age of consent, if you get laid, you'll get stoned to death. Fuck off! it's Nine years old (more like nice years old).

The reason they don't have active homosexuality is they are virgins. You can call that closet capsules.

You can kill a person who has a different religion (i.e Jew) because they are MINORITIES. However you will be having a hangover out with ropes and Ikea chairs at the end.[1]

You can even take the same steps toward minorities in the name of God and not get a ticket.

They buy flags to burn them.

Gallery of Iranian Culture

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  HOW DO I RAISED ROOF
• 
  Iran never approves - mainly of Jews, Israel, happiness, and sodomites.
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  IRANIANS.
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  Iranian national anthem
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• 
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  forced meme is forced
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  Sonichu
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  How to get there
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  Traditional Iranian clothing.
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  Gay teens in iran hanging out.
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• 
  There's an idea.
• 
  WIN!
• 
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  An average Iranian woman
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• 

Additional Links to The Iran vs Amurika and Its Fuck Buddies Drama

• Eurofags and Amurikans butthurt about the fact that Iran is potentially developing nuclear weapons from their "new" nuclear program
• The inbred, Americunt, Christfag politicans are now deciding to wage war against Iran. Much lulz will ensure!

See Also

• Internet Revolution
• Afghanistan
• Defense Industries Organization
• Iraq
• Kazakhstan
• TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL
• Tajikistan
• FOB
• Persian Poet Gal
• Yemen

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Featured article June 16 & 17, 2013
Preceded by Wyatt Mann	Iran	Succeeded by Marjan Siklic

Featured article September 27 & 28, 2012
Preceded by Lyor Cohen	Iran	Succeeded by Vandal/How-to

Vandal/How-to