Jim Profit

The face of freedom

Jim "Grumpy Piggy" Profit is a lolcow and asspie who garnered infamy throughout the boards of 4chan for verbose, indignant blog posts disguised as threads on several boards punctuated with screencaps from Naruto (his signature). After getting banned for being a whining faggot, Jim declared himself an epic 4chan troll, and was eager to tell everyone about his victory over moot. Unfortunately, the most epin of all 4chan trolls means fuck all anywhere else, so Jimmy tends to embarrass himself quite often by bragging about obscure events and even got banned from the old ED because of related events. Because of these odd, annoying habits, Jim (or 'Grumpy Piggy', as he prefers) routinely ends up mocked and b& from whatever website he declares his new home. After years of such bans, Grumpy Piggy has become paranoid and infuriated, and has made it a personal mission to bring justice to all the websites that have trampled on his human rights.

Fun fact: Grumpy Piggy adopted his name from the lead villain protagonist from a short lived Fox show from the mid-90's. Whether this was a biting piece of social commentary or something he simply thought no one would notice is up in the air.

Political Viewpoints

A true rarity, Jim proclaims himself a Christian Communist, champion of all that is leftist while still worshiping Yaweh. Unsurprising, however, is Jims tendency to change political and philosophical beliefs more often than his shit stained undies, since he was previously famous as a psychotic Ayn Rand fanboy, thus rendering any further investigation into the matter pointless. More interesting, however, is his neurotic tendency to blame capitalism and Christian fundamentalism into every hair that pricks his ass. This leads to many an amusing diatribe, most of which start by him complaining he does not know how to properly make Youtube videos, and because of that he would sincerely like to bring physical harm to YouTube staffers, (which he actually never would, considering the fact he is a fat, cowardly sack of shit) due to his own crippling incompetence in the field of clicking 'upload'.

"Why It Is Illegal to Ban!!!" "The Nature of Evil" "Team Fortress is CAPITALISTIC FASCISM RAGAGAGAGAGAGA" "NIGGER ISN'T TALKING ABOUT RACE! NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER, I'M 100% NIGGER!!!" Previous Video | Next Video

Opinions such as these and many more Jim is happy to share with anyone willing to listen. But while the acoustics in Jims ass make his words sounds as sweet as an angels voice, as fate would have it nobody else wanted to hear some The Amazing Atheist knockoff cry and fap to his bullshit beliefs all day long. Being informed of such sent the piggy into a spiraling shitfit, which would commonly being the attention of site staff, who quickly but courteously inform Jim they would rather he not come back.

Human Rights Outrage

In its full glory.

In true neckbeard fashion, the assorted bans sent Piggy Jim into a rage-filled void from which there seemed to be no escape. He decided to handle matters in the true socialist way; a class action lawsuit!

“   I warned them time and time again. They would not listen. I begin to get impatient when others were even complaining. Saying they got banned for reporting non related to the board threads, just because the spam threads were made by mods. 4chan has gone batshit insane... more then usual... and I really do want to take this shit to the supreme court.   „     —It gets better     “   I warned these guys first to either stop talking about me, or I'd sue them over copyright violation. They just talked more smack... I guess I'll have to show them.   „     —Jim says, not mentioning he himself ripped off the name     “   Encyclopedia Dramatica: $1,037,840 (Lets see how funny they are when they have to write me a check.)   „     — It will still be hilarious     “   Politics Forum: $47,485 (This was a long time ago, but I don't forget shit... EVER... remember that everyone   „     —Don't make me SHOW MAH FANGS     “   So lets just say all these forums owe me a God damn five million. That isn't Donald Trump, but I'll be glad to take it, and it'd be worth all the shit they put me through, that's for sure.   „     —Yep.     “   Danny was right that appearances aren't what they seem. There's more to me then being a communist troll.   „     —Not much, though Previous Quote | Next Quote

YOU BETTER SAY SORRY OR ELSE!

Shockingly, these totally serial threats haven't been taken too seriously, and as such Piggy Profit has become more and more infatuated with the plot to make his enemies pay him five million dollars.

Jim Profit; Epin Troll

"Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't..."

Denied

Being the typical neckbeard, Piggy Profit started to realize his name was getting more and more recognition. On a less flattering note, it just happened it was getting recognition as being a batshit faggot. Quite displeased with how events were unfolding, Jimmy started a wave of self glorification by writing down long winded versions of his exploits in the third person on any website he thought would have it. It would end as well as it did when he tried to turn 4chan into his political blog.

“   The Jim Profit meme started during the peak of Myspace’s popularity. When a poster named Jim Profit would go about topics, with long, verbose commentary, and between several strings of paragraphs, post an image of Shikamaru from Naruto in different context to illustrate the emotion he was trying to convey. This became a meme unto itself, as people began to quickly expect images to come with one of Jim Profit’s posts. Which contained anywhere from nine to twenty paragraphs.   „     —Supposedly, this was supposed to make him look awesome     “   As Jim Profit himself evolved, and went onto 4CHAN, the meme only got stronger.   „         “   Jim Profit was also a temporary member of TvTropes, and actually contributed quite a bit. He brought substance, and was a very valuable member who made contributions, was welcoming to newbies, and helped them write Trope pages better. Of course… Fast Eddie banned him, as Fast Eddie does everyone, because Jim Profit refused to live in accordance to their twisted and sick culture.   „     —Even TVTropes thought he was a loser. let that sink in.     “   Jim Profit has also become a house hold name among Facebook, and to bypass their character limits restrictions on posts, typically posts pictures which Facebook treats as a description.   „     —I doubt the authenticity of this statement     “   Jim Profit has already attained legendary troll status   „     —Nope. Previous Quote | Next Quote

Some argue that Jim believes none of what he whines about, and the entire act is simply a character study or, as he puts it, an epic troll project. While at first glance it would seem plausible that Piggy was making deliberately psychotic ramblings in order to fool the unknowing masses for fun and profit, keep in mind Piggy Piggy's been at this "act" non stop for roughly four years, never once breaking character, egofagging every step of the way on websites that would have no idea who he is or why trolling 4chan should be considered an accomplishment, and making exceedingly incoherent blog posts routinely throughout the project. Indeed, if Jim does believe he's merely acting out a Kaufmanesque plan of large, complex, and elaborate trolling, which he no doubt does, he's gone full-on Legi0naire, debatably a more humiliating fate than just being an insane sperg.

Miscellaneous Hilarity

Due to Jims hilariously retarded compulsion to speak like an anime character at all times, most of his ideas come spewing out like some hilarious, disgusting fountain of shit. Highlights include;

“   P.S.S: You're a pussy. Your girlfriend's going to cheat on you for a real man. Hopefully it'll be me seeing plowing your woman. If you can take the time to be coy with me, you can do it to someone who's actually infringing upon your first amendment. So grow some balls you idiotic house nigger. The same way you can troll me, you can troll moderators. Or are you that servile and pathetic? You like giving people who rape you of your rights a hand job? Pitiful.   „     —In response to somebody pointing out that by agreeing to ToS, you can be banned if you act like huge faggot     “   We really have no standards when it comes to (video games), and yet the supreme court just ruled this an art form. My ****ing dick... My art form of posting on the internet isn't protected, and meanwhile I don't ask for money to do it   „     —My words are art goddammit     “   And they WILL go to jail... it's only a matter of time. They've all done some pretty sleazy stuff. Borderline criminal stuff. I'm sure eventually their sins will accumulate to warrant a full on investigation. And those who read my blogs need to know this straight up about me... especially the moderators of this site. I'm not a bad guy. I have no desire to be aggressive, just because I can be, I'm not some gung ho "rebel without a clue", I'm not some armchair revolutionary. I just have a very simple rule: Don't **** with me.   „     —We are bloggers, don't fuck with us!!!     “   Though I say many brutal things about Richard the rapist Burlew and other moderators. I have no desire to kill them. Killing them would be depriving ME of my justice. I want them to go to jail, there is a big difference.   „     —I mean, come on, it's not like I'm a creepy weirdo or some shit...     “   Let me dumb it down for you strawman 4chan troll: I need an army. And if I get such an army, they can have it all. The money, the bitches, hell, you can even take the credit for destroying the industry and changing the face of the market forever. No one knew who I was before, they don't know who I am now, when the world is a better place... does it really matter if they know me then? Just start giving a ****. If I was that capable, that resourceful, that cunning, rich, and all-powerful where I could do this all by myself... you'd already be dead 4chan troll. I'd point a gun to your head, squeeze the trigger, and get a publoc ovation.   „     —Jim profit realizes the truth. Also contradicts a previous statement where he says killing would just deprive this little piggy of justic. Pff.     “   I have been banned from nearly any forum you can possibly conceive. And it would be too much work for them to construct compelling lies and stories as to why I was banned. They have neither the time, nor the competence, to keep their story straight as to the extent of my words that anything, anyone, anywhere, could say, could be so brutal or destructive, that they would have to eject me out of their forum completely.   „     —You fuckers.     “   I like you PeopleString... but I know better then to trust you. Don't do anything to make me unlike you. Because just like you, I am not Facebook. I have a dislike button in my head, and when I press it, bad things happen.   „     —Don't make me press that button in my head...     “   Supporting The Gamer’s Union, Jim Profit hopes to make his games a reality and fight his biggest, (literally) enemy yet… Gabe Nawell.   „     —Jims weird unrealistic expectations, presented in the third person.     “   How often have I said tvtropes only exists because of my hard work and efforts to make it a good wiki?   „     —Not something most would brag about     “   You are just a pathetic house nigger. You have zero dignity, and are a brainless twit. Kill yourself   „     —BAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW     “   So you're telling me to hide away in a little corner away from the rest of the world, hoping the moderators don't decide to goose step over there too and harass me?..No... if I have to do that, I "WILL" kill you.   „     —Jim, who totally has the means to accomplish that     “   ...yeah, it is my idea, and ya know, I want to be able to survive without having to bust my ass and, ya know, act like a fucking nigger   „     —Said ass busting work he is referencing is the arduous cotton picking slave labor of GASP programming, which he doesn't want to learn, yet wishes to enter into the video game industry     “   No, you're the idiot. As read the other comments. You sound "EXACTLY" like the other house niggers. "You agreed to the terms of service, you agreed to the terms of service, YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE."... We're done here. By posting on my youtube page you agreed to the terms of service. Now I get to put a gun to your head.   „     —NIGGERS. NIGGERS NIGGERS NIGGERS!!! Previous Quote | Next Quote

Off Time

So, what's a Christian Commie to do when he's too weary of battling the bourgeois? Why, derivative, self insert fanfic of course!

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Gallery

See more Piggy Exploits here.

Gallery of Profit About missing Pics

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  Jim Profit in theory.
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  Jim Profit in practice.
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  You know, the legendary Jim Profit meme! ... the fuck do you mean you've never heard of it?
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  Not pathetic at all.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Like a true narcissist, piggy Profit will only fuck someone that looks just like him.
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  "I totally hurted his butt XD"
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  LULZ

External Links

• Template:Youtube2
• Steam Forums profile where he may be found crying
• Personal blog

Jim Profit is part of a series on Aspies.

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Featured article December 4 & December 5, 2011
Preceded by Epic Win	Jim Profit	Succeeded by John Pike