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Pokéclipse
Did you have a childhood? Did you ever watch/play/read stuff about fantasy worlds, with magic, monsters and Sand Ninjas? If so, then you’ve probably (briefly) thought there’s a chance that the fantasy world is a real place you can go to if you just wish hard enough. Then you discover drugs and wonder why you thought that, or anything in life, was hard to do.
Some people just can’t let that dream go. Most of these dedicated fans grow up to be the Weeaboos and furries who rape our childhood memories with fan works. The rest dedicate their time and effort to showing them, SHOWING THEM ALL that their Pokeymanz are real beings who conveniently know how to use cross-dimensional IM.
One day, an anon came across Digiclipse, a collection of Digimon believers who were trying to open black holes in the sky by waving their licensed toys in the air and while shouting any word they could pin 'digi-' to the front of. After sharing the site with /v/, an elaborate plan was formed, and one of the lulziest trolls of the year began...
We all live (Yeeeee-ahhhhh) in a Pokémon World
The idea for the site was spawned on /v/ as a parody response to Digiclipse, and was meant to be built up gradually and revealed on or around April Fool’s Day as a troll site, exposing the e-IDs of as many fuck-mental fgts as possible. The premise was predictably insane: Claim that the Pokémon world is actually a parallel universe that the game’s creators have traveled to, where they decided they could make money by creating a franchise back here based on what they had seen there. Therefore, the ‘believers’ of this theory FACT clever, and crafty ruse would either have to discover their own means of getting there, or raid Nintendo for their secret.
The community origin story fed to the site’s visitors (to explain away the fact that nobody had a join date older than a few days) was that the community had been created by the user ‘Mew2’ back in 2005, but had suffered raids and a database purge at the hands of lulz-seekers. This was apparently their new forum, and they were trying to get back on their feet.
The site quickly became a mix of expert trolls (who ran the show), wannabe trolls who weren’t in on the fun, and some fags who genuinely believed in this shit. The obvious trolls were b& instantly, but not before the string-pullers used the troll remnants as proof that they were a real community that was under attack.
Over the days, the forum became filled with IRL butthurt stories, shooped photographic evidence and speculative questions like “Would you marry your Pokémon?” Some brave ones dropped their AIM names, even, to discuss things with non-believers.
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
Before most of the trolls’ elaborate fanfics and MSPaint edits could be unleashed, a bunch of script kiddies (presumably from Something Awful) raided and hacked the forums of the Digiclipse folks, who were still in orgasm cooldown from their first worldwide ‘Hold a plushie in the air and pretend it’s fucking you’ event.
With their trap target now gone, Pokéclipse was about to give up, but something amazing happened...World of Warcraft's forums and GameFAQs's Current Events board got a hold of Pokeclipse, and had no clue about the board's true nature. Though on many occasions the troll was endangered by retards trying too hard, the admin SmellYouLater played damage control. So they continued on, from Saturday, March 22nd, to the early hours of March 27th, when they were hacked.
Without any proper lines of communication, SmellYouLater was unable to stop Mew2, another admin, from slapping together a shitty "it was a joke" post, followed shortly by a wall of text in which another user laid down the law on the faggots who believed it was real shit, dropping a list of all the faggots who trolled him on AIM, and a mere few of the sites that believed it was real shit. The other trolls in on the joke came out from under the bridges and did some public fist-pounding before parting ways (but not before promising to team up once again in the future).
The fun may have ended early, but vanloads of lulz were still produced. People were unblocked from AIM to let the butthurt flow everywhere.
AIM Transcripts
Trolls trolling trolls. Oh lawd.
From after Pokeclipse was revealed:
- tricksta189 (2:51:15 PM): fatass
- tricksta189 (2:51:18 PM) has signed off.
________________________________________________________
- swimfan2008 (4:42:56 PM): do u belive in pokemon
- Evang1109 (4:43:16 PM): http://z9.invisionfree.com/Pokeclipse/index.php?showtopic=432&st=0#entry289734 yes, this is a document describing all the truth behind our project
- swimfan2008 (4:43:22 PM): realy
- Evang1109 (4:43:27 PM): yes, read it, you'll enjoy
- swimfan2008 (4:43:55 PM): oh i cant read it because i got kicked off the website
- swimfan2008 (4:44:19 PM): POKEMON DONT EXIST U DONT BELIVE IN THEM EITHER I KNOW
- Evang1109 (4:45:18 PM): Well then
- swimfan2008 (4:45:20 PM): pokemon dont exist
- Evang1109 (4:45:22 PM): Let me break it down for you
- swimfan2008 (4:45:25 PM): im sry to tell
- swimfan2008 (4:45:26 PM): u
- Evang1109 (4:45:27 PM): You're a faggot, this was all a joke
- swimfan2008 (4:45:30 PM): i know
- Evang1109 (4:45:35 PM): Read the fucking topic kiddo
- Evang1109 (4:45:41 PM): You're on the Wall of Shame, in fact
- swimfan2008 (4:45:43 PM): jezz chill im only 10
- swimfan2008 signed off at 4:46:06 PM.
'pokethatisslow' did posts of AIM convos he had with lesser trolls and true believers. Can't be bothered to find them.
________________________________________________________
Session Start *: Wed Mar 26 00:53:31 200* crackeatsme: hey
- Krillin33434: hi there
- crackeatsme: hey well
- crackeatsme: i sseen that site u admin
- crackeatsme: pokeclipse
- Krillin33434: ok
- Krillin33434: ...
- crackeatsme: well
- crackeatsme: is it a joke? like really..
- Krillin33434: a joke?
- crackeatsme: i wanted to discuss aobut it
- Krillin33434: Of course not
- crackeatsme: yes.
- crackeatsme: well i mean
- Krillin33434: what would give you that impression?
- crackeatsme: i want to beleivee lolll
- crackeatsme: like i really doo
- crackeatsme: but like...
- crackeatsme: how is it real.
- Krillin33434: I don't understand the question
- Krillin33434: what's real is real
- crackeatsme: how are pokemon life?
- Krillin33434: I still don't quite understand your question.
- Krillin33434: They exist
- Krillin33434: as sentient physical entities
- crackeatsme: how though?
- crackeatsme: they are cartoon
- Krillin33434: The cartoon is a cartoon
- Krillin33434: the real pokemon are real
- crackeatsme: like
- crackeatsme: pichachoo and shit?
- Krillin33434: We're not saying that the cartoons are somehow real
- crackeatsme: so your saying like mew and mew 2 are real and shit?
- Krillin33434: we're saying that there is a real pokemon universe, and that the cartoons and games are based off of it
- Krillin33434: yes
- crackeatsme: oh
- crackeatsme: and where is the universe?
- Krillin33434: you can't really say where, it's another universe
- crackeatsme: so why make a site where u cant get to it?
- Krillin33434: that's the goal of the site: to get to it
- crackeatsme: ok and have u ever Seen a pokemon?
- 9 Krillin33434: yes
- 9 crackeatsme: which
- 9 crackeatsme: ?
- 9 Krillin33434: several bulbasaur, some oddish as well as its evolved forms, and a few flying types I don't quite remember
- Krillin33434: either pidgey's or spearows
- Krillin33434: all at once
- crackeatsme: where u on drugs?
- Krillin33434: no
- Krillin33434: I've never taken any halluciongens
- crackeatsme: ok and why cant i see them?
- Krillin33434: I don't know
- crackeatsme: ...
- Krillin33434: I don't know why I saw the vision in the first place
- crackeatsme: wtf lol..
- crackeatsme: like soo
- crackeatsme: are ppokemon real and the characters like ash/?
- Krillin33434: Well, there's no evidence that satoshi exists. He's probably a fictional character added to the properties as a generic protagonist. The games aren't linked to the reality in any way, it's simply based off of what the creator of the games saw
- crackeatsme: dude
- crackeatsme: there pokemon
- crackeatsme: have u ever captured one?
- Krillin33434: of course not, I've never seen any outside of my initial vision
- crackeatsme: do u see them often?
- Krillin33434: no, just the one vision
- crackeatsme: dude..
- crackeatsme: where udreaming?
- Krillin33434: nope
- Krillin33434: it wasn't a luid dream
- Krillin33434: *lucid
- crackeatsme: ok an so for..
- crackeatsme: how far have u gotton to the pokeclipse
- Krillin33434: well, I think we were pretty close to pinpointing where the dimensional shifts were originating from
- Krillin33434: but all of our data got lost when the old forums went down
- Krillin33434: so we have to start over
- crackeatsme: wherees that
- Krillin33434: If I knew, I wouldn't be here now would I?
- crackeatsme: where do u think it came from?
- Krillin33434: where do I think what came from?
- crackeatsme: pokeclpsE?
- crackeatsme: lmao..
- Krillin33434: you can't use pronouns if you haven't established the noun
- Krillin33434: the pokeclipse forums?
- crackeatsme: ..
- crackeatsme: dude
- Krillin33434: they were established by Shodan
- crackeatsme: this is fake
- crackeatsme: how can i see one?
- Krillin33434: ?
- crackeatsme: like think hard?
- 9 crackeatsme: lol..
- 9 Krillin33434: a vision or a pokemon?
- 9 Krillin33434: stop using pronouns incorrectly
- 9 crackeatsme: poke
- 9 Krillin33434: you'd have to see one during a dimensional shift
- 9 Krillin33434: or have a vision like mine
- 9 crackeatsme: whatsa dimensional shift?
- 9 Krillin33434: it's not really a voluntary phenomenon
- Krillin33434: basically it means that the waves of energy and antimatter from a wormhole between dimensions temporarily shift something through the wormhole
- Krillin33434: then pulls it back
- Krillin33434: physically they stay in the same place, but are transferred very shortly to a parralel universe
- crackeatsme: and when does this happen?
- Krillin33434: at random intervals
- crackeatsme: ...........
- crackeatsme: qwhen in life
- Krillin33434: ?
- Krillin33434: I don't understand the question
- crackeatsme: dude
- crackeatsme: can i do some research
- crackeatsme: nad make theories get made a doctor title?
- crackeatsme: on ur site.
- Krillin33434: what?
- Krillin33434: We're not accredited to hand out doctorates if that's what you're asking...
- crackeatsme: yes
- Krillin33434: I'm having a lot of trouble understanding you
- crackeatsme: but just as a rank on ur site.
- Krillin33434: unfortunately user registration is down right now
- Krillin33434: until the trolls stop registering no accounts will be activated
- crackeatsme: cna u activate mine?
- Krillin33434: sorry, I can't :\
- crackeatsme: Why.
- crackeatsme: dude
- crackeatsme: u need prooof of this
- Krillin33434: I'd have to reacitvate registration approval
- Krillin33434: and I honestly think you don't believe
- crackeatsme: dude!
- *** Auto-response sent to crackeatsme: I am currently away from the computer.
- crackeatsme: omg
- crackeatsme: please come back for 1 min
Session Close *: Wed Mar 26 02:19:46 200*: Thu Mar 27 00:55:14 200* crackeatsme: Hello.
- Krillin33434: hi
- crackeatsme: i beleive
- crackeatsme: i had a vision.
- Krillin33434: site's already down, so there's no point in keeping up the pretense
- Krillin33434: it was all a troll
- Krillin33434: and you fell for it
- crackeatsme: hell no i didn
- crackeatsme: t
- crackeatsme: haha
- crackeatsme: i tlaked to them all
- crackeatsme: lmao
- Krillin33434: yes, you talked to all the trolls
- Krillin33434: from /v/
- crackeatsme: pokemon lol....
- Krillin33434: who made the site
- Krillin33434: no one actually believed it dumbass
- crackeatsme: no shit sherlock
- crackeatsme: lmao
- crackeatsme: we all knew it was fake.
- Krillin33434: sure you did
- crackeatsme: .....
- crackeatsme: LMFAO
- crackeatsme: sre ukiddn?
- crackeatsme: cheeck endscene
- crackeatsme: and gamefaqs
- Krillin33434: which is why you just IMd me saying you had a vision
- crackeatsme: we all knwe it
- crackeatsme: me and kush did it
- crackeatsme: to troll u
- crackeatsme: dumb fucks
- Krillin33434: did what
- crackeatsme: nothin
- crackeatsme: nvm
- Krillin33434: the poorly done "hack" on the site?
- crackeatsme: No
- Krillin33434: good job, you got shodan's account info
- crackeatsme: good job i didnt hack faggot.
- crackeatsme: everyone knew it was fake
- Krillin33434: sure they did
- crackeatsme: cept the dumb ass kids
- Krillin33434: I like how adamant you are about it
- crackeatsme: did ppl on ur site rea;;y thonk it was real?
- Krillin33434: as if you were defending youtself
- crackeatsme: cuz last nite lmao
- crackeatsme: i told u didnt beleieve
- Krillin33434: maybe 1 or 2 members thought it was real on our site
- 9 crackeatsme: and whod that be?
- 9 Krillin33434: fuck if I know
- 9 Krillin33434: Imma go play smash now
- Krillin33434: later, faggot
- crackeatsme: k dick
- *** "crackeatsme" signed off at Thu Mar 27 01:00:09 200*: Thu Mar 27 01:00:11 2008
Youtube Reaction
Worth noting is the Brawl battle that took place between troll Croagunksaiyan and Teestala from the World of Warcraft forums. Shit was SO cash.
Gallery
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Poor Katie, Pokéclipse loves you. -
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SandshrewTrainer just threw down the gauntlet! -
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Successful Troll is Successful! -
It's safe to assume we're doomed.
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They sure got them good!
Links
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Pokéclipse is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
 Pokéclipse is part of a series on Pokémon [Who’s that Pokémon?] | |||||||
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