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Bikerfox
Bikerfox (Powerword: Frank P. DeLarzelere) is a creepy 50 year old white trash lolcow and self promoting douchebag with an extreme case of USI. In recent years this skulleted old man (a shady used car part salesman from Tulsa IRL) has become known OTI purely for very extensive online faggotry. A pathological liar, he's about as desperate as they come, attempting to milk every ounce of e-fame he can from his asinine claims - spamming forums, MySpace, writing his own Wikipedia article, crashing bike expos and annoying pedestrians and drivers alike on the streets of Tulsa, Oklahoma - all in some deluded pursuit to become an e-celebrity. In addition to this, Frank is also known as a loli hunter amongst the citizens of Tulsa as a result of his overt fixation with jailbait. Bikerfox's is one of the primary examples of how to fail hard at the internets, his galleries of faggotry are extensive, and unfortunately many young minds have already been scarred for life by Frank's online antics.
Internets "Fame"
It is important to note that Bikerfox's entire existence as a supposed e-celebrity has always been, and continues to be, solely the product of his own surgical machinations to promote his own name. Bikerfox's irl claim is that he is a "mountainbiking expert" who holds a Guinness Record as the first person ever to do a front-flip off of a mountainbike. It has become sweet irony that the entire platform for the supposed "e-fame" has been revealed to be an outright lie (you will not find the record in the Guinness database). A clear case of a mid-life crisis, he has attempted to promote himself in any way possible. He has consistently sought to portray himself in the manner of a "wacky" rebel, but comes across as creepy, over-the-hill, 5th rate Tony Robbins, spewing plagiarized life philosophies he read off a bumper sticker as if they were his own like some wannabe guru. Frank's social ineptitude, strange behavior around young women, lack of any self-conscious restraint, and extensive history of online faggotry, tend to suggest an appropriate denouement.
Some question whether Frank may in fact be some manner of uber troll - ED assures you that he is in fact one of the most shameless megalomaniacs on the internet. Frank enjoys playing the victim any chance he gets and has continually attempted to play off any criticism he receives from others, both online and IRL, as just some form of friendly teasing in good fun. The term unwarranted self importance truly fails to adequately describe Bikerfox since, for all intents and purposes, Frank's only apparent talent is his ability to spread his lies to the public. Frank is a prime example of how the "I don't care what people think, I'm gonna be who I want to be" life-philosophy tends to be a common mantra of people who rarely consider whether they in fact should.
Who Is Bikerfox?
Bikerfox showing his skillz...or lack thereof (Tonight Show audition tape lol)
Previous Video | Next Video |
Self Promotion Faggotry
Yes...he wrote his own TOW article.
EDiot research revealed that Frank wrote his own TOW article [4] Deleted. Being warned about TOW's auto-biography rules didn't stop him of course as he continued to edit and promote his own article (through a shitload of sockpuppets). He even tried to bribe tow admins (see below) to keep the article from being deleted (note admittance of writing his own article).
Upon its deletion Bikerfox provided even more lulz in his attempts to keep the article by claiming he was about to become a "superstar" and "I'm a multi-millionaire". Unfortunately for Frank, none of it worked (see one of his sockpuppets talk pages for moar). His level of megalomania would almost be impressive if it wasn't so pathetic, seeing as few have ever attempted to promote so much from so little.
UPDATE: His TOW article is up for deletion (again) DELETED!.
Lulzy Attempts to Keep His Article
IRL Pedo
Bikerfox is a very creepy old man. But not only this, he's displayed some disturbing tendencies IRL as well. One visit to any of his websites and something will jump out at you immediately. Frank spends suspicious amounts of time pursuing very uncomfortable looking underage girls and coercing them to take pictures with him every chance he gets. This is to the point that he posts every picture he can get with on his webpage(s) with any girls who happen to have had the misfortune of meeting him, most likely to try and convince people he is popular with the opposite sex. He demonstrates the similar disturbing behavior on his Myspace(s) as well, a large number of the girls on his friends list being underage as well, several being only 14 or 15 years old [5] [6]. It is important to note that this man is nearly 50 years old.
Most disturbingly though, he also enjoys recording underage highschool cheerleaders and putting the footage on his website without permission. This seems to be a common pattern of behavior with Bikerfox and since he remains unv& it would probably be a wise thing to keep your kids away from him. Srsly, can you explain all this Frank?
File:BikerLulz.jpg Another attempt at getting kids to fall in love with him. Pedo? Yessum. Homo? Indeed. What kid is going to know the fucking meaning of 'Cogitate'? It sounds too much like masturbate. Subliminal messaging = WIN; Bikerpedo = FAIL.
Bikerfox Arrested!
Bikerfox was arrested in October, 2007, for "Bike Rage". Apparently, he became quite angry and threw his bike at a motorist who had been trying to do the world a favour by putting Frank out of his misery. Frank is, of course, praying that he will be found guilty since a prison sentence would in fact mean plenty of daily powerbottom buttsecks and the steady diet of protein necessary for him to perform at a consistently high level.
Reality TV?
At the moment, Bikerfox is also trying to get his own Reality TV show launched as well. We shit you not. This makes sense though because, really, who wouldn't want to watch the day to day life of an over-the-hill, balding, mulleted, talentless, 50 year old, poser, cosplay, pedophile...amirite?
Biker Fox also recently became a true shoe on head advocate setting up several webcams in his home/workplace, lol he sells used car parts IRL. (IE only. username: bikerfox, pass: bikerfox).
Dubious Business Practices
As noted, Frank is a used car part salesman IRL under the business names Billions and Trillions', MonopolyParts.com and GTOPartsGuru.com. Recent research has also revealed that Frank is known for extortionate price gouging and unscrupulous business practices. He even tried to rip off a dirt poor soldier in Iraq despite having championed himself as a patriotic right winger in the past - please see proof of his scandals here.
Moar Faggotry
Frank recently appeared on a Swedish TV show called "Hundra Höjdare" wherein Fredrik and Filip, two IRL trolls, who regularly seek strange people to investigate, interviewed Bikerfox at his home. Frank proceeds with his wacky fucktardedness, attempting to impress viewers by dressing up as an old lady (see: Norman Bates), screaming like an aspie for no reason, falling off his bike...essentially the same faggotry as always (apparently Frank doesn't treat his employees very well). The interview starts with the announcer calling him the ADHD Man (Used in Sweden as an insult meaning hyperactive/annoying/obnoxious). Throughout the interview, the interviewers keep making fun of him,talking behind his back and so forth.
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The Bikerfox movie. Reviews are totally NOT FAKE! -
A diagram of Bikerfox's seat -
Interviewer: "What's the difference between Bikerfox and Frank?"
Bikerfox: "Well, Frank's more of a serious business man, and Bikerfox is this kid who likes to play out in the street."
Arrested...Again
Currently Bikerfox is still displaying his man-wares at various underage girls on MySpace. However, recently it seems there was an outbreak of common sense by his local PD. Bikerfox was arrested, yet again, this time for assaulting a police officer. Essentially, Frank was fucking with a Tulsa county officer who promptly pwnd his over-the-hill ass with a swift beating.
"I was beat up choked and hurt by the Tulsa Police Yesterday. The hate of one Tulsa cop could bring down the Whole Police force. The other cops are sitting around laughing. The news reporter from channel 6 was laughing. She thought it was funny the Police assaulted BF, see kids the Police are not your friend. Why? Because most of the other cops support the haters in the Force. The good cops support the hate of the bad cops. Go figure?" - from his whiny blog about the incident
Basically, lulz.
Quotes
—"FoxyPublicist," Bikerfox's publicist, ...soon to be raped by him. | ||
—Bikerfox's website | ||
Gallery
-
Frank P. DeLarzelere wrongly doesn't have body dysmorphia. -
buffoon -
Frank P. DeLarzelere takes advantage of his Bikerfox photo shoots to fart. -
-
hideous -
He should get his brain pierced for his next photo shoot. -
What the fuck is he thinking?!?!? -
...no, not gay at all.
Trivia
- Claims he is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first person ever to do a front-flip-exit off of a mountain bike. An outright lie. You will not find the record anywhere
- Bikerfox
writes his own TOW Article? [7]DELETED!. - Is proud that he changed his name to Bikerfox and trademarked it [8] [9].
- Has recently found out that vandalism is pointless. So has his "publicist."
- Enjoys sockpuppetry on TOW [10][11][12][13][14].
- Since being arrested for "Bike rage" he has had quite a bit of trouble riding his bike for more than a few minutes at a time.
- You will easily find Bikerfox forum threads on various sites where some anonymous faggot is spamming bullshit like "Hey check this guy out he's awesome!" or "Bikerfox, he's destined for big things!" These are invariably made by himself through socks or some extremely sad fanboy who actually admires him.
- Thinks riding a bike all day is good for him, though the amount of cardio he does has been shown to cause a deficiency in Human Growth Hormone and Testosterone. Both of which are needed for an aging man to stay healthy. He is slowly but surely becoming an hero, without knowing it.
- According to his website and some self-serving videos, he is single, never married and never, ever loved... Noone ever will for that matter.
- Uses a company called Geek Rescue for computer tech support. Call 918-369-4335 and tell them that you are Biker Fox and you need an onsite call for some retarded reason. At $100 an hour, who could go wrong.
- His bike is at least 10 years old, which is over 9000 in human years and is totaly crap, was good in the 90's but shit now...
- He clearly know nuffing about bikes, he has bar ends on downhill bars, only a complet fag would do this!!!!
External Links
- The Bikerfox website - Full of fail.
Bikerfox on YouTube - Ripe for trollage.Bikerfox on LiveVideo
Bikerfox's Myspace
- His other Myspace pages:
His Digg account- His galleries of extreme faggotry Your eyes will bleed.
- Other videos of his faggotry
- Bikerfox on RideMonkey.com
Groups on Myspace [15] [16] [17] [18]His biggest fanboy on MyspaceAnother sad fanboy- Except this one works for him.- A good definition of Bikerfox
- Bikerfox compared with Peter Pan. Who's creepier? You decide.
- Nobody wants to sponsor you His claims of having a deal with Norco dispelled.
YTMND's
See Also
—Bikerfox |
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| Featured article August 18, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by Church of Fudge |
Bikerfox | Succeeded by LOLympic Games |