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Mr. Hands: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 16:56, 7 May 2013
In 2005, a video popped up on the internet called "mrhands.mpg". The video, made in Enumclaw, Washington, outside of Seattle, is of a man being fucked in the ass by a horse.
The unknown person then reportedly began experiencing mysterious pains coming from within, but did not want to go to the hospital. In spite of this his friends opted to take him to the hospital three hours later. Sadly, Mr. Hands died en route from internal bleeding. It was later disclosed that his name was Kenneth Pinyan, and he refused to go to the hospital because he was a high profile engineer for Boeing and didn't want his reputation ruined in the same way his organs were.
The lesson in all of this is that bestiality was not illegal in the state of Washington for some reason. The only thing they could get him for was trespassing. In Washington people regularly had sex with horses without legal recourse. In the wake of the event however, bestiality was made illegal. Of special note is a line in the law making the filming of bestiality illegal as well. The cameraman, Michael Tait, was fined 300 dollars for his role in the event.
Was Mr. Hands a Furry?
Technically, no. There are a few important differences:
- Furries claim not to have sex with animals.
- Mr. Hands does not wear a fursuit. Neither did his "partner".
- As much as we wish they did, the majority of furries don't die after being fucked stupid.
- Judging by the amount of horse cock in his ass and the orgasmic groans of ecstasy, Mr. Hands is clearly a faggot (Even though all furries are faggots, not all faggots are furries. There are so many different perversions to choose from.).
Note: Mr. Hands doesn't qualify as animal abuse, because the horse quite clearly seems to be enjoying it. If anything, the "hyoomans" suffered the most. By hyoomans, we are not referring to Mr. Hands himself, but rather the many viewers who have been permanently scarred by watching him fatally take a gigantic animal schlong up the ass.
Mr. Hands' Balls
Kenneth's testicles resemble the shape of spines or thorns. Some argue that he had some kind of piercing or implantation procedure done. However, others argue that frequent anal penetration by a FUCKING HUGE HORSE COCK can't be that healthy for the reproduction organs, so it's no wonder that his balls look like they've been through over 9000 kinds of issues, illnesses and crap like this.
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
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Mr. Horse = ಠ_ಠ -
The head of diagnostic medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro finds his diagnosis -
Lisa from the Simpsons trying to pull it off
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WTF?
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Having felt left out of the bestiality business, Mr Ed decided to get in on the action. -
Many a furry has had wet dreams about this. -
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Mr. Handsmen being owned. -
The horse liked it -
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...WELP
See Also
- Ed Poor
- Bestiality
- Darkhorseman
- Giant dildo of death Mr. Hands would have enjoyed this . . .
- I Hate Horses
- Jasha Lottin
- Horsecock
- Shock videos
- swap.avi
- Your resistance only makes my penis harder!
- Zetaforum
- ZOO: The Movie: They made a movie about him
External Links
The Video
- 2Guys1Horse.com - stream - The sound makes it significantly worse than Goatse could ever be.
Other Links
- Wikipedia Article
- Story about the brothel/stable.
- Cameraman fined $300 for horse-fucking death
- Trailer for Zoo (AKA Mr. Hands - The Motion Picture) at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB)
- Guide written by a close friend of Mr. Hands that teaches one how to take such things anally.
- From the same men who brought you Mr. Hands...
- The entire story
- Horse dick revolution
 Mr. Hands is part of a series on My Little Pony [FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC]
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Mr. Hands is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
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Mr. Hands is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Mr. Hands is part of a series on My Little Pony [FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC]
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