Dave Warwak
Once, but no longer, the internet’s most infamous vegan terrorist. It is not an exaggeration to say that Warwak hates and is hated by absolutely everybody – including other extreme animal right activists such as PETA. Warwak was even banned from the Vegan Freak forum for being too extreme, which is saying a lot considering members of this forum force vegan diets on their pets.
What makes Warwak so very, very interesting is that you do not have to insult him in order to incur his wrath - you don't even have to disagree with him or even contact him. No, all you need is to do in order to feel this love of justice is to merely exist.
While Dave has been the cancer on the asshole of the internet for some time now, his increasingly retarded and fundamentalist views are becoming more and more public following the Peep-Show incident.
Career
Sadly for the American education system Dave used to be a teacher at Fox River Grove Middle school in Chicago, Illinois. Luckily he did not do much damage as he only taught art instead of a real subject like science.
Peep Show
Dave Warwak shows his love and compassion for animals by brainwashing children into seeing how they are abused, tortured and eaten.
Like a young Jeffrey Dahmer he distributed marshmallow peeps (candies shaped like small animals) to young children and asked them to look after their peeps for three days instead of eating them. When they were returned to Dave he did what any man with a loving, compassionate care for animals would do to prove his point:
- Mounted their heads on walls
- Peeling off their skins and put them on a Barbie doll
- Locked in cages
- Crushed as roadkill
- Locked inside miniature cages
- Put into pots
- Stuck between slices of bread
It is suspected the only reason he did not do the same to the school hamster is because he had secreted it in a special place in order to release it later. Naturally on September 24th 2007 this sick fuck was fired.
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Images such as these as usually found is psychology textbooks -
Actually quite tasty. -
If you listen carefully you can ehar them screaming. -
The teacher who fired Warwak. As you can tell this photo was edited by Dave himself.
Screwing up the Kids
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Hanging himself on a crucifix, Dave himself has put the list of charges on his own website. Click HERE to read the report. |
This however was not the end of Warwak’s shitty one-man campaign with Fox River Grove. He filed a lolsuit against the school, demanding they take down posters which encourage them to drink milk, claiming that doing so actually causes cancer. The real source of the cancer, however, was quite obvious, and he was swiftly booted off the school grounds.
In yet another remarkably creepy act, for the festive season Dave dresses up as Santa Claus. This in itself is not terribly odd, as most people don't find it inappropriate to allow small children to sit on the lap of a stranger in disguise, but instead of asking the children what they want for Christmas, Warwak begins to lecture them on how the turkey they will be having for dinner was brutally slaughtered and electrocuted. He also gives them pictures of animals being skinned alive to add to the holiday cheer.
This is not a joke, Dave genuinely does this shit.
Quotes
Here are a collection of unedited quotes to give you some idea into what happens to your brain when you eat nothing but tofu and lack vitamin B12:
—Not so. Vegans are also known by other names. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Note on Language:
Words like corpse-muncher and necrovore are frequently thrown about among vegan terrorists. As you may have noticed, these all suggest those with normal diets eat dead things. Do not take this as an insult, it is a compliment – because what sick bastard eats their food while it’s still alive?
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His TL;DR signature, describing himself better than anyone else ever could. -
Because she ate meat, Warwak mocks even his own dead mother. -
School shootings - it turns out hamburgers were the real culprits. -
Oddly enough, A cannibal is fine too.
Fights With Other Animal Rights Activists
PETA
It’s hard to image somebody so self-righteous and deluded that even PETA thinks he is a huge faggot, but it’s true. Ironically, they believed his aggressive behaviour was giving them a bad name.
Before Peta-Forums shut down, Dave Warwak was one of the oldest and most active members, preaching about the cancerous evils of milkshakes. So despite the fact they claimed to dislike him, these spineless faggots never banned the fucker.
Camille Marino
Another equally fanatical yet far more boring PETA-fag known as Camille Marino was once Warwak’s one and only (almost) human friend. Her blog NegotiationIsOver ranted about the evils of eating meat, gave tips on how to indoctrinate children into becoming vegans (making sure the parents never know) and explained why peaceful vegans are sycophantic ass-kissers, despite the fact peaceful vegans don’t exist.
Evidently this blog was not hardcore enough for Dave and on 2nd September 2009 he deleted many of the articles. At first it was not clear why he did so – Camille’s posse believed he had turned traitor and was now a non-violent vegan. Others believed he was no longer an animal rights activist at all. It later transpired that Warwak turned on Camille because she spent too much time attacking other vegans and not enough time pissing on normal people.
Obama
Dave Warwak has an obsession with Barack Obama far unhealthier than any hormone-infested cheeseburger, seemingly blind to the fact that the most powerful man black person in the world couldn’t give a mouse-sized shit about the opinion of one neckbearded asshole. Sadly for Warwak, this thought doesn’t seem to have occurred to him.
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You should be proud to be one of "them" and not one of "us". -
Yes he really is this deluded. -
Coincidence? Probably.
Video
NOTE: Lulz and common knowledge are in the rejected comments.
Failed Attention Whore
Warwak has been on Encyclopedia Dramatica's batshit crazy list for quite a while, but until recently warranted no more than a special mention. After having this article published however, Dave creamed his pants in joy that he was now e-famous. As with all vegans Dave is a huge fucking hypocrite. He has disowned Camille because her attention whoring is not helping the kittens, then splats his new ED page all over his blog.
Sadly for Dave however his new-found fame was not to last. His title as 'Most Retarded Vegan' has been usurped by his creation Camille Marino. As such nobody gives a flying fuck about Dave anymore.
External Links
- His Wikipedia Article written by ex-BFF Camille Marino
- His book Peepshow For Children Only. Bonus points for calling him a pedo.
- Veganschool101
- Warwak (a.k.a. Inslide) on MySpace
- The letter he wrote to student Waaaaaaaay TL;DR
- User:Warwak His ED userpage. Surprisingly dull.
See Also
