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Flipnote Hatena: Difference between revisions

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<center>{{morphquote|flipquotes||font-weight: bold;
{{Offended}}
|[[Butthurt|Hope You're Happy RG :)]]|Some [[User:------|nigger]] as they attempted to [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|delete this page.]]
{{an hero}}
|[[Butthurt|WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM RG???]]|...and his [[User:lololol|butthurt ninja force.]]
{{notice|Hilter was a Christian... You mad Christfags?}}
|[[Fact|Hatena is now the confinement place we put the 'artists' so they don't fuck up the internet. If they did what they are doing in 2011 on a real site, real people would be pissed.]]| some [[User:lolwut|ex-hatena guy]] no one cares about.}}</center>
[[File:Hitler_Achievement_Unlocked.jpg|center|frame|]]
[[image:Adolfhitlerportrait.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Der Führer: Da Reel Muthaphukkin' G of His Tyme, Beeeyotch!]]
[[File:Holocauster Tycoon.jpg|thumb|right|He's going for the high score!]]
'''[[Win|Adolf Hitler]]''' ([[420|April 20]], 1889 - April 30, [[WWII|1945]]) was an [[angel]] sent by god to eliminate [[All your base|all your j00z]]. He was also African and [[Irony|Jewish]], and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe, due to their <s>eating too much jewgold in the form of a cock and choking</s> That's fucking retarded. They were Jewish, how much more of a reason would you like? He was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists. Many see him as a [[Chris-Chan|overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic.]] Others see him as humanity's last hope to cleanse the world of [[Jews|the biggest problem on the planet]]. According to das Juden, during his holiday in [[Germany]], Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que), with <s>somewhere around [[over 9,000|six million]]</s> <b>[[Bullshit|EXACTLY SIX MILLION AND NOT ONE LESS!!]]</b> [[Jews]] , called the [[Holocaust|Lolocaust]]. In [[Fact|fact]], he was a [[gay|sensitive]] hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the [[racist]] Germans that he, an [[gay|Austrian]], loved so much. He also helped invent the Volkswagen and still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He broke new strategic ground with his [[Zerg Rush|Blitzkrieg]] tactics, which effectively meant that he was [[I'm in your base, killing your d00ds|in your nation, killing your j00z]].


Flipnote Hatena is a cloned website like [[Deviantart]] and [[Newgrounds]] and a dumbed-down version of Adobe Flash Professional CSx, and all of it is squeezed into an app for the DSi known as Flipnote Studio.
Hitler was also a [[faggot|sensitive man]]. When he was younger, Hitler went to [[art school]], and drew some pretty cool stuff. He was a [[vegetarian]], a [[pussy|non-smoker]], a [[coprophilia|coprophiliac]] and [[serious business|had a mustache]]. On the downside, he dropped out of [[art school]] and his <i>opus magnum</i> was lost on the Titanic, he [[basement dweller|slept until three in the afternoon every day]], and [[BAW|threw temper tantrums]] if you tried to wake him up.  


==Registration==
Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the [[truth|peaceful]] Germans for the [[pedo|promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls]]. He turned out to be [[an hero]] after all. Years later the DNA from Hitler's remains were analyzed. Turns out [[irony|Hitler had African and Jewish ancestry]].  
Registering for Flipnote Hatena is a [[pain]] [[in the ass]]. First, you must register your email, and if you think that is all you have to do, you're wrong! Afterwards, you must send them a fucking letter through the mail that consists of some printout contract and your signature. When you send your postcard or whatever, it usually gets rejected, which means that you waited days for nothing! The [[Bureaucratic Fuck]]s at Flipnote Hatena enjoy rejecting your letters because [[IDIFTL|they do it for teh lulz]].


==The Community==
[[Image:Hitlervacation.jpg|thumb|Hitler on a wonderful vacation with his beloved dog, Blondie; the closest to sex he could get.]]
[[File:FlipnoteFurfags.png|300px|thumb|left|Flipnote is full of [[furfags]].]]
[[Image:Killfurries.gif|thumb|right|Posting this flipnote is the best way to troll furfags and sonicfags.]]
The majority of Flipnote users consist of delusional [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] who believe that [[Lie|they are gifted and talented when it comes to animating and art]]. Some are stickfags who post shitty stick figure fights as flipnotes. The stickfags are the least talented of all the flipnotefags. Many others are [[YouTube Poop]]ers that were kickbanned and exiled from YouTube, and, as a result, they post their sparta remixes, [[pingas]] videos, and other retarded YouTube fads that they brought with them. The rest of the flipnote community consists of [[furfag]]s who post their fucktarded music vids that consist of [[Yiff|animals hugging or cuddling with each other]] or [[yiff|two animals in love]]. It is also well known that many of Hatena's furfags are [[Sonic|Sonicfags]] who post their half-assed Sonic-themed flipnotes.


===Admins===
==Rise to Power==
The admins are little pussies that are afraid about everything on their shitty website. They regularly visit chatrooms and troll people and [[ban|gline]] them when they reply. Even when they look at this page, they will jizz in their pants.
[[File:Hitler nigger.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Hitler's inspiring message to [[Spics|monkeys]] and [[Niggers|apes]] of [[Catholic|all]] [[Jews|kinds]], around the world.]]
[[Image:Hitler_gets_a_gas_bill.gif|thumb|150px|Jews take your money, even from the grave.]]
[[Image:Hitea.jpg|thumb|150px|Since 1945, Hitler has made approx. 900 trillion [[Canadian]] dollars by licensing his looks for use in tasteful merchandise, most of which sells in [[England]].]]
[[Image:TinydickHitler2.jpg|thumb|right| "What We Have, We Hold]]
[[Image:Hitler_Public_Masturbation.jpg|thumb|right| Kill lots of Jews and people will be too distracted to notice that you're a public masturbater.]]
[http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f149/138932d1268706236-blue-waffle-infection-really-gross-bw.jpg Adolf] began his ascent to power in Germany with an [[Batshit Insane|ideologically sound]] framework:
* Anyone who expressed views contrary to those of himself and his party was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries' ideas and opinions.
*If that did not work, he would:
** [[Murder|Kill them;]]
** [[Awesome|Eat their brains;]]
** [[Guro|And skull-fuck their empty head.]]


===Gizmoids and BOSSOMS===
This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.  
Gizmo created a successful flipnote [http://flipnote.hatena.com/56650B50CC783E17@DSi/movie/783E17_096FE67DFD1AB_001] which was the first mistake.
It got over 2.999 Spin-offs, which shows that the community were too [[retarded]] to draw.
American flipnoters are know as the Stickman Pussies, because, as the name implies, 80% of the community use stickmen for their Flipnotes. The rest were doing spin-offs.
Europe is full with untalented faggots and Online-Daters. The good ones take one look at the site and ragequit because it sucks so much, so we're left with the terrible ones. Examples pl0x? Coming soon.
Fuck knows about Japan. Do they, alternatively, think they're from Europe?
[[File:Monster.jpg|200px|thumb|right|What]]


===Trolling===
Adolf blamed the ills of the [[Germany|Fatherland]] on the unclean Jews, amongst others. [[Lie|As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something relatively new to them.]] However, Uncle Adolf was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accommodations in special places like Dachau were they could be [[gay|Jewish]] in safety from the racist fucks in Germany, [[Fact|who are still racist fucks to this day.]]
It's possible to troll the community with several tactics.
* Stealing someone's flip and saying it's yours-lulz will ensue
* False reporting every flip possible
* Scamming them from their stars, [[BAWWW|which is nearly impossible because they moan the fuck out of you when you do so]]
* Comment using swear words (Even crap is considered a swear there)
* Write them a comment that you hate Eevees or other [[furfags]]
* Make them mad on their flips or on chatrooms
* Spam the chatrooms with [[funny|racist or offensive]] insults like "nigger" or "bitch"
* Saying that someones flipnote is stolen
* Join [[Deviantart]] and write a journal on how Hatena sucks
* Saying Inchworm is better than Flipnote Studio
* If you are a citizen, remove the channels from a flipnote and post it to the "[[fail]]" channel
* Say that your penis is bigger than someones elses (for maximum lulz, say this to a female user)
* Join Restoring Hatena
* Spam chatrooms with the fact that [[Electric Boogaloo|Flipnote Hatena 2: Electric Boogaloo]] hasn't come out yet


==Flipnotes==
Adolf and his National Socialist, or [[Nazi]], party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as [[Delete Fucking Everything|Kristallnacht]]. [[Ban Fucking Everyone|Jewish shopkeepers and business owners]] were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dreidels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolph was doubly disappointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of Jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria [[LOL]]'d at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.
[[File:MeatspinPaint1.gif|thumb|right|400px|[[Meatspin|A usual flipnote.]]]]
[[File:NiggerWatermelon.png|200px|thumb|right|Average comments on flipnote]] More like shitnotes, amirite?
Over [[moar|90 percent]] of all flipnotes there consist of the following: [[furry|Furries]], [[cancer|smug bastards of Stick figures with brightly colored backwards hats]], [[original character|RP flip comics]], [[unfunny|overused memes]], and [[shit]], if any of the listed essential elements are [[hahaha no|somehow]] tolerable by [[you]]. Most of these are [[amv|music videos]] of trashy low-quality swaggot music that, if heard by any of the [[13-year-old-boys]] on ED, will cause Chuck Norris to punch a Hispanic baby in the face. They are usually [[shitty]] [[threesome|collaboration]] "animations" with [[drugs|popping lights]] all over the place and eye-bleedingly ugly furries gliding across the screen standing on their hind legs. Others include said [[Tf2|hat]]-wearing Stick Figures dancing and eternally smiling as they lipsync the earraping music, or participating in lame comedy skits with audio from [[Smosh]].
[[File:Rainbow Shitter.gif|200px|thumb|right|Every Flipnote in a nutshell. Seriously. Except they are drawn like shit and have <s>little</s> no colour.]]
[[File:Hatenalovecomics.jpg|200px|thumb|right|An example of the "love stories".]]
A large portion of flipnote contribution in Europe are these "Love Stories". Love stories sometimes contain objectionable content like [[rape|kissing]]. The usual speed of a Love Story is about [[Sonic|7 or 8]]. They are as short as the creators dicks, but they are fucking [[gay|popular]] in Europe.
[[File:Emolol.png|300px|thumb|left|[[Original Character|ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL]]]]


===Chatrooms===
After the Germans went [[batshit insane]] and began behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolf realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy [[basement dwellers]] and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all-expenses-paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live separately.
Nowadays, all Fucknote Hatenaids is used for is a bunch of furfags and [[fags|vampire wannabes]] to go into "chatrooms" and roleplay for hours on end. Seriously, hours. [[File:vsflipchatowner.png|200px|thumb|right|An epic fight between a [[cancer|Finlander]] and [[aids|the chat owner]].]][[File:FlipnoteWastingAway.png|100px|thumb|right|This can be applied to all Flipnoters]][[File:FlipnoteAndFlash.png|100px|thumb|right|*[[facepalm]]]][[File:Flipchatspam.png|200px|thumb|right|[[butthurt|The result of spamming a chatroom]]]]
The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.
Luckily, these niggers get butthurt way too easily. You don't even have to [[troll]] them to get them whining. They're <I>kids</I>.
Apparently, the most effective method is [[trolling|warning them about the]] [[aids|deadly diseases]] they can get from being on these [[shithole|chatrooms]]. There is a group of people trying to [[troll|spread the message about this disease]] to the flipnoters. [[Shit nobody cares about|They call themselves Group Finland, codename FGT.]] They are open to members, and if you want to [[fuck|join]] them on their [[trolling|quest]], then you must post this message to all the chatrooms you can find:
{{quote|ATTENTION!
WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THIS FLIPNOTE IS INFECTED WITH THE DEADLY DISEASE: A1DS!
PLEASE EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!


BEGINNING OPERATION D0N10L NOW.}}
Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as ''The Final Solution.'' It was labeled 'The Final Solution' as the Jews were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The 'Solution' to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.
Unfortunately, the [[admin|Hatena Admins]] have blocked the word [[aids]], as they would rather watch their [[gay|extremely supportive]] [[niggers|users]] suffer from this illness, but us [[trolls|members]] of [[Finland]] can help prevent it. Most of the flipnoters fail to notice this message anyways, so it's important to [[spam|post it as many times as possible]]. If, for some reason, [[admin|an unknown person]] has stopped you from commenting, you should make a new account.
[[Image:BeMeinHitler.jpg|thumb|left|Hitler was romantic too.]]
Good luck, [[Faggots|Finlanders!]]
[[Image:Hitler's_Hoes_2.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Hitler and his hoes.]]
The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage.
Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem.
How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as [[Zyklon-B]]. In another technical first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience.
It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a Jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actual death.
The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism.
After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolph and his mates.
Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.


=== Note worthy 'artists' ===
His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of ''The Final Solution'' and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they [[Jews|fuck everything up]]
FlipnoteShinyEevee
This flipnoter is probably the the ideal shitty 'artist' that we fucking hate. Basically, this assmuncher is the reason that there are so many furries and bronies around making flipnotes. [[woman|She]] started posting flipnotes on hatena [[at least a hundred years ago]], and she is famous by posting shitty 0:35-2:00 animations which mostly consist of awesome face'd furries dancing and lip syncing to shitty music. She acts like she is the [[unrealistic expectations|greatest animator since Walt mother fucking Disney]]. If you say anything less about her, her fanbase/horde consisting of 5-12 year old furries will rape you with replies and messages saying that "UR FUCKING JEALOS TROLL. YOU JUST TROLL BECAUSE U CANT FREAKIN DO ANY BETTER" Even though her shit sucks. If you want to have some serious lulz and trolling, here is her [[youtube]] channel:          http://www.youtube.com/user/FlipnoteShinyEevee
Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolph's directions.


===Stars===
On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, Jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.
[[File:WHYDONTIGETSTARSANYMORE.jpg|200px|thumb|left|When a person don't get stars‎]]
Stars, or [[halp|I-want-to-be-the-popular-like-gizmo-or-the-most-other-popular-guys]] are shitty 8-bit pixels used to show how people like the Flipnotes, much like [[Youtube|Youtube's]] [[Penis|like bar]]. All around, there are 3 billion stars, which the most are given starbeggars or "iwanttoadoptapokemon" Flipnotes. There are colored stars like yellow/green/blue/red and purple. When an artist gets a purple star, [[No life|(possibly from some Internet friend of theirs who has such an extravagant and eventful life)]] by and large they will think they are so fucking cool, and go amok to start trolling kids by making a flipnote about it, causing butthurt and lulz all round.  
[[File:FlipnoteTrolling.jpg|200px|thumb|right|[[butthurt|OMG RANDOM GUI U FUKKEN TROLL GTFO AND DIE!!!!!!!!!!!]]]]


===False reporting===
==[[World War II]]==
Mostly happens to the top 10 of the [[shit|best]] flipnotes.
After the admins remove the flips that were reported, the false reporters get [[Nothing|1 worthless green star]]. The reported user is most likely to bawww and rant to their unlucky fans to catch the reporter and flame them. Which they can't. Instead, they go off to make gay MVs with their OMFG EDGY fursonas chasing down and raping stickmen with stars for facial features.
Though, there are some people on Hatena who admit to reporting people for lulz. One [[troll|user]] known as Cassidy caused a "war" between furfags because of this.
After a flipnote gets removed, the reporter gains a green star to spend it on a flip or collects more for a creator's room backround.
Either that or they're [[trolling|awesome]] and are just trying to make a bunch of kids butthurt. Trust me, false or not, when someone good gets reported, there's chaos, because little kids don't understand the jokes.


==The ''435678467834725683478564365789637546795679623 Rules Of Hatena''==
[[Image:Hitlerfistshake.jpg|thumb|right|150px|And he would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling Russians!]]
# Flipnote Hatena is where stealing art is legal.
# One day, I'll be a great animator. Bitches are just jealous that I know how to use select tool animation.
# SPARTA!1! LOTSA SPAGHETTI!
# Copy, paste, change mouth, copy, paste, change mouth, copy, paste, move arm....
# The more popular people I put on my MV's, the more chance I get to be friends with them.
# Using Edit-Me's is the same as using reference.
# Take one-colored photos of myself and ask how hot, cute, ugly, etc I am.
# Excessive and over-the-top shading is the same as painting skills.
# POP MUSIC MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!
# ANIMU MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!
# Critics are only critical because they are jealous of my stick figures.
# When having a relationship, write your name with a heart in the middle and write your partner's name too. Because bragging about it is so pleasing.
# All Stick Figures O.C's should have a flying partner taken from the Super Mario Universe. NO EXCEPTIONS!
# All character's words speaks louder than actions. (Edit-me comics reference)
# People use the Reporting function for the fuck of it. No really, see how the administrators gives a flying fuck about your false reported Flipnote.
# All creators are looking for something: MORE POPULARITY!
# IT'S GOOD ANIMATION BECAUSE IT MOVES, BITCH!
# Plagiarism is fake. Anyone can be original, as long as I give audio credit.
# Using emoji emoticons means I'm special.
# It's not bad art if I'm popular.
# Comments should be more like "EPIC", "Cool", "OMG AWESOME", "Cute", etc than something that could help me improve on my art skills. DONT GIVE ME CRITIQUES! IM TOO F***ING SENSITIVE!
# People posts a lot of chats and chats everyday because watching porn (or even make a Flipnote) gets old.
# There's nothing wrong with re-posting Flipnotes. I WROTE "CREDIT TO ORIGINAL," IT'S NOT STOLEN.
# If I fave someone, he has to fave me! HE HAS TO BE MY FRIEND! GIZMO AGAGAGAGA LETS BE FRIENDS OR ILL SHIT YOUR DA TILL YOU SAY YES!
# When someone writes me a critique, I should go to him/her and tell him to stop and that it makes me cry and that he/she should die and that her/his flips suck ass.
# When you quit Hatena, come back two months later.
# I have more fans than you. Therefore, I'm better than you.
# Adding stars to myself is a brilliant idea.
# Adding color stars then take them back for teh lulz is a brilliant idea.
# Being friends just because they're popular is a brilliant idea.
# Spam your Flipnotes to every Popular Flipnote's comment section is a brilliant idea.
# Posting a Flipnote how much my life sucks and about that little stealer/hater/ex-boyfriend/girlfiend and that im going to kill myself if I dont have any more recognition is a brilliant idea.
# Write RP Flipcomics because people know its good art if its posted on the internet.
# Love is love. It doesn't matter if you're a boy, girl or both, It's all about how good you roleplay with me and how fast you can make me orgasm with your chatting sex drawing comments. I'M BISEXUAL! DON'T JUDGE ME, YOU PREACHFAGS!
# Giving Flipnote titles like "dB" "XDD fail" and "read desc." shows how intriguing your Flipnote is. Oh, and it makes me look more friendly. BECAUSE YOU NEED FRIENDS!
# Sing on a Flipnote then ask for a rating. When someone gives a low score, bitch about it to them. Because hypocrisy is key.
# If someone stalks two people sexting or a popular Flipnote gets false reported if a couple breaks up, there will be drama. No exceptions.
# Post sexually-explicit Flipnotes and sexually roleplay at chats. If someone reports, YOU HAVE A VALID REASON TO NOT BE REPORTED. B*TCH ABOUT IT TO YOUR FANS AND THE ADMIN.
# If its animu, its good.
# Post random memes every day. That way, you'll get your citizenship faster than ever. Not only that, but your fans can actually know you better and also know how friendly you are instead of talented you are. And when you tag, SAY EVERYONE!
# Only cool people don't comment on other Flipnotes or reply. Only cool chat in their Flipnotes. Only cool people don't chat in their own chats.
# Make funny lists to be popular. Like this one.
# If there's a nose bleeding, REPORT IT!
# I'm a good artist because I have so many talented friend and I draw anime. Desu desu.
# I made another account because of THE PRESSURE OF BEING POPULAR. Even though I wanted it in the first place and work hard to be popular. OH WELL, IM A SELFISH BITCH LIKE THAT.
# When making a spinoff, alter the speed and that makes it legit. BECAUSE CHANGING SPEED IS SO MUCH WORK!
# Memo is going to be cool because it HAS COLOURS!!!1! BUT IT WONT HAVE HATENA! LIKE IF NINTENDO WILL DO A SH*TTY DECISION LIKE THAT!
# If you go into a chat of a famous creator labeled private, you get booted and blocked because that creator obviously has much more authority than you.
# If it has overused Internet memes or Youtube audio, its funny.
# The best way to get popular is to link to as many channels as possible! Animation skills? What are you talking about?
# Make a sprite series, and add cool video game music. And don't move the sprites at all. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
# Who said we have to work to get Popular? Why don't we create comics that have the same pics or goes on a speed in which Sonic the Hedgehog can't beat?
# Chaos aren't furries.
# Report this post, report this post. FUCK YOU! I'M GETTING A GREEN STAR!]


== Flipnote Hatena 2: Electric Boogaloo ==
In 1939, Hitler told the leader of [[Poland]] to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and [[Russia]] joined in, because [[Stalin]] was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the [[vagina]] to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.
[[Dickhead|Nintendo]] promised this in June, but saw how fucked the community was and cancelled it. [[Nerds|Stalkers]] that have no lives tend to stalk the admins news pages to get more infomation about it, even though IT DOESN'T EXIST. When it was announced for 3DS, DSi [[fanboys]] went into rage, and the hyperscream they made caused some massive earthquake that fucked up Japan.


{{quote|[[True|Hatena is a giant pile of chode sucking diarrhea from a honey badger that's had twice it's weight of crack every hour for 2 years. I swear to god, Hatena was amazing back in the day. Then these fuckers came and ruined it.]]|Random Guy}}
After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the god he was, went on to completely take out [[Denmark]], [[Norway]], [[Holland]], and [[Belgium]] [[epic_win|all in a couple of weeks]]. Earlier, in free time and for fun and [[profit]], he decided to liberate [[Austria]] and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned [[France]] as [[typical|the French just rolled over and took it in the ass]]. After France was [[rape|subjugated]], he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was [[Buttsecks|anally raped]], causing Hitler to try to [[flamewar|bomb England to surrender]] and invade Russia [[for the lulz]], but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the [[gay|British Army]] had been [[rape|raped]] by the Germans in France, however Hitler sufferd trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.


==Gallery Of Butthurt==
== Hitler's Final Act of [[An heroism|Heroism]] ==
{{cg|Gallery|flipnotegallery|center|<gallery>
File:FlipnoteRage1.png
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</gallery>|<gallery>
File:FlipnoteRage9.png
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</gallery>}}


== External Links ==
[[Image:hitlercat.jpg|thumb|right|150px|[[Kitler|Hitler reincarnated]]]]
* [[Deviantart]]
 
* [[Newgrounds]]
[[Image:What-would-hitler-do-wwhd.jpg|thumb|150px|Would Hitler fucking [[pwn]] that Jew, [[you]] ask? You bet your [[Asian|two-inch]] dick he would!]]
* [[Flash]]
[[File:Jesus hitler.jpg|thumb|150px|The creationist point of view]]
* [[MS Paint]]
 
* [[SheezyArt]]
In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to [[zerg rush]] on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die [[married]] than die gay, so he [[incest|married his cousin]] (Eva Braun) and then committed [[suicide]] like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, being the [[angst]]-ridden man-child that he was, he killed himself ten days after his birthday because some of his friends didn't show up at his party at the YMCA. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankerin' for a Hitler [[lynching]]. Unfortunately, he turned to [[an hero|an heroism]] before they could get to him.
{{gaming}}
 
{{anime}}
Eventually the monstrous [[Russians]] descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and [[surprise sex|surprised]] every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his [[faggotry]], Stalin made Hitler's skull into a [[jizz|jizz bowl]]. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by [[Jews]] in [[hell]], as everybody knows, [[truth|Jews don't die]].
{{furfaggotry}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article November 4, 2011 & November 5, [[2011]]|[[Flipnote Hatena]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pixyteri]]}}
 
{{timeline|Featured article June 10 & July 11, [[2012]]|[[France]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Mozilla Firefox]]}}
== Successors ==
Hitler-wannabes are as widespread as [[AIDS]]. The most notable ones include:
 
*[[North Korea|Kim Jong II]]
*[[W|Dubya]]
*[[Augusto Pinochet]]
*[[Russia|Vladimir Putin]]
*[[Black Jesus|The Magic Negro]]
*[[Iran|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]
*[[Wikipedia|Jimmy Wales]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Anonymous]]
*[[You]]
 
==Heil Honey, I'm Home!==
 
[[Image:Charlie-Chaplin-Photograph-C12037007.jpeg|thumb|right|150px|<s>Charlie Chaplin</s> Adolf Hitler was also an actor.]]
 
[[Image:Original Hitler.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Original [[50 Hitler post]] pic.]]
 
[[Image:HileFro.jpg|thumb|150px|Hitler was an avid [[Fag|clubber]] and a total [[Nigger|pimp]].]]
 
Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called ''Heil Honey, I'm Home!'', which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations evar as we all know what Hitler did to those [[fail|poor]] fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network [[duh|realized it was about Hitler in a good way]] and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that [[Israel|the world]] was created by [[Cthulhu]] and Hitler was apparently the devil.
 
{{fv|hitlervids4532|background-color: black;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>fbj9otRPdiM</youtube>
|<youtube>gnord5ZSM2M</youtube>
|color=black}}
 
==Hitler and The [[Internets]]==
 
[[Image:Hitler_rapper.jpg|thumb|150px|Back in the day, Hitler was popular among the young German boys, mainly rapping about how he grew up in the rough hoods of [[Bel-Air|Braunau]].]]
 
Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred [[bipolar]] [[forum]]s users turn to [[emo|other subcultures]] to try and [[attention whore|stand out]]. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though [[Satan]] would never bestow such an honor on some [[basement dweller]]. [[Skinhead|Neo-Nazis]] have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn [[angst]]-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys.
 
Hitler is also one of the [[internet celebrity|most talked about people]] on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that [[Godwin's Law|Hitler's name will come up eventually]] in conversation [[OTI]]. It is also customary on the internet to [[50 Hitler Post|post Hitler's likeness repeatedly]] as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internets [[less than three|<3]] Hitler.
 
==[[Irony|Hitler on JewTube]]==
 
 
 
{{fv|hitlervids3333|background-color: black;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>lhVM0HmGado</youtube>
|<youtube>kHmYIo7bcUw</youtube>
|<youtube>rh0sbpJJ4pM</youtube>
|<youtube>kAB7yviXE5g</youtube>
|<youtube>zB5l-MHa0Y4</youtube>
|<youtube>CmVxqN4rg1c</youtube>
|<youtube>WDrgwZsGC9A</youtube>
|<youtube>yJftttaGzpk</youtube>
|<youtube>KfNbJs-lw8o</youtube>
|<youtube>I9HOAkpPnt4</youtube>
|<youtube>hbNo5ijvyfU</youtube>
|<youtube>qtRyUZYIvPM</youtube>
|<youtube>dsCPcOVYlSc</youtube>
|<youtube>u_HJWiOeGhc</youtube>
|<youtube>ouB2h29tlXM</youtube>
|<youtube>yu2NqfISm9k</youtube>
|<youtube>5c-frhpLa-k</youtube>
|<youtube>nEly8nXA6Oo</youtube>
|<youtube>kyCo29uPu7g</youtube>|<youtube>wi4Dx2RoTns</youtube>|color=black}}
 
==FRESH FUHRER OF [[Bel-Air|BEL-AIR]]==                                                     
 
 
 
 
 
 
[[Image:Adolf hipster.jpg|thumb|right|In hipster edition]]
 
[[Image:Hitlernap.jpg|thumb|right|Taking some afternoon nap after killing the [[Jews|Jew]]]]
 
[[Image:Adolfina.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Hitler's only daughter has led a quiet life since the war ended.]]
 
 
 
<center>{{scrolltext|: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED       
: VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
: CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
: AND THINKING OF WAYS TO ANNIHILATE THE JEWS
: WHEN A COUPLE OF KIKES
: WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
: STARTED RAISING LOANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
: I SET UP ONE LITTLE CAMP AND RUSSIA GOT SCARED
: THEY SAID "IF YOU INVADE POLAND CAN WE AT LEAST SHARE?"
 
: I WHISTLED FOR MY CAR AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
: THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FUHRER" AND EVA BRAUN WAS IN THE REAR
: IN GERMANY FUCKING YOUR OWN COUSIN WAS RARE
: BUT I THOUGHT "NAH FORGET IT," YO HOME TO BERLIN!
: I CAUGHT MILLIONS OF JEWS, ABOUT 7 OR 8
: AND I YELLED TO HYMIES "YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER"
: I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
: I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
: Nobody knows where my Adolph has gone
: Eva left the same time
: Why was he holding her hand
: When he's supposed to be mine
 
 
: It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
: Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
: You would cry too if it happened to you
 
 
: Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
: Leave me alone for a while
: 'Till Adolph's dancin' with me
: I've got no reason to smile
 
 
: It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
: Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
: You would cry too if it happened to you
 
 
: Eva and Adolph just walked through the door
: Like a queen with her king
: Oh what a birthday surprise
: Eva's wearin' his ring
|700|100|-A Nigger|}}</center>
 
== Kesha meets the Nazi Party ==
 
 
 
[[Image:Hitlerlulz101.jpg|thumb|right|150px|What you have heard is true....why don't you?]]
 
<center>{{scrolltext|: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer
: Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer
: Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too
: Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a Jew
 
 
: I'm talkin'
: Takin' of all their clothes clothes
: Gassin' them till they choke choke
: Throwin' them in some stoves stoves
 
 
: Goose steppin'
: Right into all of your cities
: Spreadin' the Nazi Party
: Tryin' to take over your countrryyyyy
 
 
: Don't stop, make em drop!
: Nazi's blow your cities up!
: Tonight, they gonna fight
: Till you give into the Reich!
|700|100|-Kesha|}}</center>
 
 
==Adolf Hitler Fun Facts==
 
[[Image:Yoyohit39.jpg|thumb|150px|6 Time World Yo-yo Champion.]]
 
[[Image:ADOLF_HITLER_BITCHES.jpg|thumb|150px|The original.]]
 
* Hitler wasn't even [[German]]. He was <s>[[Australian]]</s> <s>[[Relevant to my interests|Austrian]]</s> <s>[[Mexican]]</s> <s>[[Ethiopian]]</s> [[Troll|A Troll]], just like [[Josef Fritzl|another famous murderer]].
 
* Hitler served in the [[German]] army in WWI, and got [[pwned]] with [[vespene gas|mustard gas]] and spent months in a Waaaambulance.
 
* He was a [[vegetarian]]. Not out of principles but because he had horrible [[diabeetus|IBS]] and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat (though his colon and lower intestine seemed to handle it just fine). He also had [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|terrible breath]] and smelled bad.
 
* Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had [[sex]] with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
 
* His dog was named "Blondi". <s>[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS|Quiz your history teacher on that one]]!</s> If you at any point went to school, surely you would be doing [[Job|something more productive]]?
 
* Hitler counted his Jews using computers supplied by [[IBM]].
 
* He actually [[trying too hard|wanted to become an artist]].
* He had a pee fetish. No, [[srsly]].
* He painted houses before he became [[emo]].
 
* Hitler was an [[asspie]].
 
* He was [[Applemilk1988|addicted to meth and had syphilis]], just like every other [[Hal Turner|white supremacist]].
 
* Hitler was the undisputed World Yo-yo Champion from 1939-1945.
 
* If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have [[over 9,000]] more pageviews than [[Snapesnogger]]. 
 
* Hitler decided to [[W|start a little war just for the lulz]].
 
* Hitler's [[sick fuck|doctor]] gave him medicine made from chopped [[balls|cow balls]] and the [[shit no one cares about|shit of Bulgarian peasants]]-- on a daily basis. (It's been proven by science and the [[internet|internetz]].)
 
* "O Hail Hitler, You are the sun and the moon." - Sam Olsson
 
* Hitler was a secret Nigger, and also a Jew.  He also liked to take it up the ass.  Hitler's asshole was so mangled and distended from the years of aggressive, humiliating, emasculating pounding visited upon it by an endless string of Jigaboo buttpirates that Goebbels would sometimes reach both hands inside it and clap as a party trick.
 
*[[Uwe Boll]] is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
 
* Hitler hated nature. And trees. And babies. And he had one testicle bitten off by a goat. And he was one quarter- no, half Jewish. And he was secretly gay. And a drug addict. And had every sexually transmitted disease ever known! And he kicked puppies. And glued pennies to the sidewalk. And he'd laugh and laugh as old women would walk slowly across the street, refusing to help them.
 
*And he uh..uh..had bad breath! And he....didn't flush! And he...uh...well..[[Homosexuality|anything else that's bad]]!
 
==The Downfall meme==
 
"Downfall" was a 2004 [[Germany|German]]-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during [[World War II]] while the [[Soviet Union|Russians]] were [[ownage|inflicting mass amounts of pwnage]] on their way to [[I_Am_In_Your_Base_Killing_Your_D00ds|capturing Berlin]].
 
Since [[real]] [[nerds|Internet power users]] [[wtf|don't understand]] [[Kraut|German]] [[moonspeak]], the [[orgasm|climactic]] scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and [[Additional pylons|no reserves left]] was naturally ripe for <strike>reinterpretation</strike> more nuanced translations.  Of course most of them are [[crap]] based on sports teams [[baseball|nobody]] [[football|cares]] [[soccer|about]]. [[File:Hitler.gif|25px]]
 
The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering [[Waaaambulance|outraged]] choruses of [[ZOMG]] HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the [[Jews|usual]] [[Democrats|suspects]].
 
On April 21, 2010 [http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/hitler-downfall-parodies-removed-from-youtube-ap Jewtube began removing all such videos], because they can't take the [[Copyright|lulz]]. 
[http://www.urlesque.com/2010/04/20/hitler-downfall-parody-videos-removed-from-youtube/ Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal.]
 
Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument. 88!
<youtube>GVS4Zgjm8HE</youtube>
 
[[Image:Sw07sw3954yu.gif|thumb|150px]]
 
==List of Internet Nazism==
*[[Grammar Nazi]]s
*[[Feminazism]]
*[[Pants nazi]]s
*[[YouTube Street Team]]
*[[Patriotic Nigras]]
 
==Gallery==
{{cg|Galerie von Adolf|hitlergallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Grandma Hitler.jpg|Hitler's not dead, he's a [[transexual]]!
Image:3672054902a4579235228b452128569l.gif|Hitler and Daft Punk.
Image:Hitler-icantbelivedisshit.PNG|Hitler can't believe your shit.
Image:Jewseverywhere2.gif|Jews. Jews everywhere.
File:Hitler-store.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Germany-Poland.png|Yeah, that's about right.
Image:DancingHitler.gif|Der Kommissar's in town
Image:Hitler-Awesome.png|Hitler was pretty [[awesome]].
Image:HitlerMen.jpg|[[Gentlemen|ARYANS]]
Image:Person small hitler speech2.gif|You're pushing me, baby!
Image:Hitlernegro.gif|Hitler was really a nigger
Image:02annefrank1.jpg|Hitler caught red-handed by European Paparazzi.
Image:Emo_hitler_2.jpg|[[Moar]] emo faggotry.
Image:Hitlerbang.jpg|Hitler's arms propaganda.
Image:Desuhit.jpg|Someone say Hitler?
Image:Fuhrerchan.gif|LOL
Image:Nahtzee.gif|Hitler's favorite game.
Image:Isay.jpg|Mein Kampf? More like ''I'm Camp'', [[amirite]]?
Image:Nazis_used_Mudkipz.jpg|Hitler lieks [[Mudkipz]].
Image:YugiohHitler.jpg|[[Faux News|Nazis]] own [[4Kids]] that distribute ''[[Pokemon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]''.
Image:trex_nazi.jpg|Holy shit! A giant Nazi ''T. rex'' thing!!!
Image:Nazimoot.jpg|Even moot loves Hitler.
Image:0e1f39ed.jpg|And you thought he was dead, pfft.
Image:ForLulz.jpg|It was known Hitler committed many atrocities "for the lulz".
Image:856653883 e0b6ce3eef o.jpg|Welcome to the Hitler Cafe!
Image:Hello nazi.jpg
Image:Kfj.jpg|Adolf Hitler's true identity 
Image:holoc.jpg|Damn right Hitler played it.
Image:Pregnanthitler.jpg| [[Maury|Stalin, you are the father.]]
image:Hitler_alive.jpg| He's still alive.
Image:Hitlrmickey.jpg| Hitler was also a connoisseur of the finer things in life.
Image:HitlerCard.bmp.jpg| Black Lotus ain't got nuthin' on this!
Image:HitlerPwntByFDR.jpg| He finally met his match in FDR
Image:JewHitler.jpg| Closet [[Jew]]
Image:HileFro.jpg|Hitler was an avid clubber and total ladies' man
Image:Hitler_Women.png| The Führer In Private
File:Forgil.gif
File:Becumanhurro.jpg|Do what the big man says.
</gallery>
|}}
 
==See Also==
[[Image:hitler34.jpg|thumb|right|150px|(FUCKING FURRIES) [[Rule 34|Hitler 34]]]]
* [[卐]]
* [[50 Hitler post]]
* [[Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler]]
* [[Angry German Kid]]
* [[Colonel Klink]]
* [[David Icke]]
* [[DevianTart Nazis]]
* [[Downfall]]
* [[Godwin's Law]]
* [[Hipster Hitler]]
* [[Hitler: The Babe within]]
* [[Holocaust Porn]]
* [[Kitler]]
* [[Mecha-Hitler]]
* [[Nazi]]
* [[o/]]
* [[Ruining_The_Internet#People_Trying_to_Save_the_Internet|Saving The Internet]]
* [[Tranquility Bay]]
* [[W]]
 
==External Links==
* [http://community.livejournal.com/hitlerslash/ Hitler Slash fanfiction community]
* [http://foxnews.com/ Popular Hitler fanboi site]
* [http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3347309,00.html According to Iran, Hitler was a crypto-Jew and a pawn of the Zionist conspiracy. As if we didn't know already.]
* [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/22/hitlers-mein-kampf-seen-a_n_190064.html Mein Kampf as a self-help guide.]
 
{{lulzhistory}}
{{anheroes}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Trolls}}
{{politics}}
{{Jews}}
{{truth}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2007]]|[[Micha Armstrong]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bodies Under Siege]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Nao April 30, [[2011]]|[[Virginia Tech Massacre]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Royal Family]]}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Revision as of 21:43, 6 October 2012

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Hilter was a Christian... You mad Christfags?
Der Führer: Da Reel Muthaphukkin' G of His Tyme, Beeeyotch!
He's going for the high score!

Adolf Hitler (April 20, 1889 - April 30, 1945) was an angel sent by god to eliminate all your j00z. He was also African and Jewish, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe, due to their eating too much jewgold in the form of a cock and choking That's fucking retarded. They were Jewish, how much more of a reason would you like? He was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists. Many see him as a overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic. Others see him as humanity's last hope to cleanse the world of the biggest problem on the planet. According to das Juden, during his holiday in Germany, Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que), with somewhere around six million EXACTLY SIX MILLION AND NOT ONE LESS!! Jews , called the Lolocaust. In fact, he was a sensitive hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the racist Germans that he, an Austrian, loved so much. He also helped invent the Volkswagen and still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He broke new strategic ground with his Blitzkrieg tactics, which effectively meant that he was in your nation, killing your j00z.

Hitler was also a sensitive man. When he was younger, Hitler went to art school, and drew some pretty cool stuff. He was a vegetarian, a non-smoker, a coprophiliac and had a mustache. On the downside, he dropped out of art school and his opus magnum was lost on the Titanic, he slept until three in the afternoon every day, and threw temper tantrums if you tried to wake him up.

Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the peaceful Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out to be an hero after all. Years later the DNA from Hitler's remains were analyzed. Turns out Hitler had African and Jewish ancestry.

Hitler on a wonderful vacation with his beloved dog, Blondie; the closest to sex he could get.

Rise to Power

Hitler's inspiring message to monkeys and apes of all kinds, around the world.
Jews take your money, even from the grave.
Since 1945, Hitler has made approx. 900 trillion Canadian dollars by licensing his looks for use in tasteful merchandise, most of which sells in England.
"What We Have, We Hold
Kill lots of Jews and people will be too distracted to notice that you're a public masturbater.

Adolf began his ascent to power in Germany with an ideologically sound framework:

  • Anyone who expressed views contrary to those of himself and his party was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries' ideas and opinions.
  • If that did not work, he would:

This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.

Adolf blamed the ills of the Fatherland on the unclean Jews, amongst others. As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something relatively new to them. However, Uncle Adolf was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accommodations in special places like Dachau were they could be Jewish in safety from the racist fucks in Germany, who are still racist fucks to this day.

Adolf and his National Socialist, or Nazi, party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as Kristallnacht. Jewish shopkeepers and business owners were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dreidels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolph was doubly disappointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of Jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria LOL'd at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.

After the Germans went batshit insane and began behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolf realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy basement dwellers and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all-expenses-paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live separately. The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.

Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as The Final Solution. It was labeled 'The Final Solution' as the Jews were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The 'Solution' to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.

Hitler was romantic too.
Hitler and his hoes.

The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage. Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem. How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as Zyklon-B. In another technical first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience. It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a Jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actual death. The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism. After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolph and his mates.

Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.

His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of The Final Solution and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they fuck everything up

Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolph's directions.

On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, Jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.

World War II

And he would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling Russians!

In 1939, Hitler told the leader of Poland to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and Russia joined in, because Stalin was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the vagina to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.

After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the god he was, went on to completely take out Denmark, Norway, Holland, and Belgium all in a couple of weeks. Earlier, in free time and for fun and profit, he decided to liberate Austria and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned France as the French just rolled over and took it in the ass. After France was subjugated, he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was anally raped, causing Hitler to try to bomb England to surrender and invade Russia for the lulz, but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the British Army had been raped by the Germans in France, however Hitler sufferd trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.

Hitler's Final Act of Heroism

Hitler reincarnated
Would Hitler fucking pwn that Jew, you ask? You bet your two-inch dick he would!
The creationist point of view

In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to zerg rush on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die married than die gay, so he married his cousin (Eva Braun) and then committed suicide like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, being the angst-ridden man-child that he was, he killed himself ten days after his birthday because some of his friends didn't show up at his party at the YMCA. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankerin' for a Hitler lynching. Unfortunately, he turned to an heroism before they could get to him.

Eventually the monstrous Russians descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and surprised every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his faggotry, Stalin made Hitler's skull into a jizz bowl. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by Jews in hell, as everybody knows, Jews don't die.


Successors

Hitler-wannabes are as widespread as AIDS. The most notable ones include:

Heil Honey, I'm Home!

Charlie Chaplin Adolf Hitler was also an actor.
Original 50 Hitler post pic.
Hitler was an avid clubber and a total pimp.

Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called Heil Honey, I'm Home!, which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations evar as we all know what Hitler did to those poor fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network realized it was about Hitler in a good way and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that the world was created by Cthulhu and Hitler was apparently the devil.

Hitler and The Internets

Back in the day, Hitler was popular among the young German boys, mainly rapping about how he grew up in the rough hoods of Braunau.

Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred bipolar forums users turn to other subcultures to try and stand out. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though Satan would never bestow such an honor on some basement dweller. Neo-Nazis have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn angst-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys.

Hitler is also one of the most talked about people on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that Hitler's name will come up eventually in conversation OTI. It is also customary on the internet to post Hitler's likeness repeatedly as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internets <3 Hitler.

Hitler on JewTube

FRESH FUHRER OF BEL-AIR

In hipster edition
Taking some afternoon nap after killing the Jew
Hitler's only daughter has led a quiet life since the war ended.


Use scrollbar to see the full text

: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED
VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
AND THINKING OF WAYS TO ANNIHILATE THE JEWS
WHEN A COUPLE OF KIKES
WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
STARTED RAISING LOANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
I SET UP ONE LITTLE CAMP AND RUSSIA GOT SCARED
THEY SAID "IF YOU INVADE POLAND CAN WE AT LEAST SHARE?"
I WHISTLED FOR MY CAR AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FUHRER" AND EVA BRAUN WAS IN THE REAR
IN GERMANY FUCKING YOUR OWN COUSIN WAS RARE
BUT I THOUGHT "NAH FORGET IT," YO HOME TO BERLIN!
I CAUGHT MILLIONS OF JEWS, ABOUT 7 OR 8
AND I YELLED TO HYMIES "YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER"
I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
Nobody knows where my Adolph has gone
Eva left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine


It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you


Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
Leave me alone for a while
'Till Adolph's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile


It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you


Eva and Adolph just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Eva's wearin' his ring
-A Nigger

Kesha meets the Nazi Party

What you have heard is true....why don't you?

Use scrollbar to see the full text

: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer
Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer
Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too
Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a Jew


I'm talkin'
Takin' of all their clothes clothes
Gassin' them till they choke choke
Throwin' them in some stoves stoves


Goose steppin'
Right into all of your cities
Spreadin' the Nazi Party
Tryin' to take over your countrryyyyy


Don't stop, make em drop!
Nazi's blow your cities up!
Tonight, they gonna fight
Till you give into the Reich!
-Kesha


Adolf Hitler Fun Facts

6 Time World Yo-yo Champion.
The original.
  • He was a vegetarian. Not out of principles but because he had horrible IBS and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat (though his colon and lower intestine seemed to handle it just fine). He also had terrible breath and smelled bad.
  • Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had sex with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
  • Hitler counted his Jews using computers supplied by IBM.
  • Hitler was the undisputed World Yo-yo Champion from 1939-1945.
  • If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have over 9,000 more pageviews than Snapesnogger.
  • "O Hail Hitler, You are the sun and the moon." - Sam Olsson
  • Hitler was a secret Nigger, and also a Jew. He also liked to take it up the ass. Hitler's asshole was so mangled and distended from the years of aggressive, humiliating, emasculating pounding visited upon it by an endless string of Jigaboo buttpirates that Goebbels would sometimes reach both hands inside it and clap as a party trick.
  • Uwe Boll is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
  • Hitler hated nature. And trees. And babies. And he had one testicle bitten off by a goat. And he was one quarter- no, half Jewish. And he was secretly gay. And a drug addict. And had every sexually transmitted disease ever known! And he kicked puppies. And glued pennies to the sidewalk. And he'd laugh and laugh as old women would walk slowly across the street, refusing to help them.

The Downfall meme

"Downfall" was a 2004 German-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during World War II while the Russians were inflicting mass amounts of pwnage on their way to capturing Berlin.

Since real Internet power users don't understand German moonspeak, the climactic scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and no reserves left was naturally ripe for reinterpretation more nuanced translations. Of course most of them are crap based on sports teams nobody cares about.

The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering outraged choruses of ZOMG HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the usual suspects.

On April 21, 2010 Jewtube began removing all such videos, because they can't take the lulz. Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal.

Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument. 88!

List of Internet Nazism

Gallery

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See Also

(FUCKING FURRIES) Hitler 34

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