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Plastic crap
FACT ALERT: Your Beanie Babies won't actually pay for your retirement. |
Plastic crap is the collection of anime figurines, Star Wars vehicles, action figures, Simpsons statuettes, Gundams, Lootcrate, "limited edition" J-List items and other made-in-China-by-child-slave-labor trash with which basement-dwelling nerds (often Wapanese) surround themselves. Like mold made of consumerism and loneliness, plastic crap first appears in one area before spreading through the house, covering the walls with cheap shelving and endless rows of products designed for 13-year-old boys.
The amount of plastic crap in a room is inversely proportional to the likelihood that the room will be used for secks; thus, increasing the collection beyond a certain point is a bold declaration of celibacy.
Gallery
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This is where the magic happens.
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MOAR!
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Some of the junk JDR went broke buying.
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Another wall of JDR's fortune.
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More injection-molded unfunny bullshit.
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Who needs sex when you've got tiny, plastic robots?
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Girls can liek plastic crap too.
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Chris-Chan's huge collection of shite.
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failed America's Greatest Otaku contestant
Good thing is, your car becomes a really effective loli bait (or a pussy deflector).
See also
- Amiibo - "They're different because they're interactive!!!"
- Etsy
- Fidget spinner - The sperg version of this.
- Hello Kitty - The female version of this.
- Manchild
- My Little Pony - Only for virgin lolcow bronies.
- Pixelmari - A trap that uses plastic crap to die alone.
- Transformers - "Just so you can have a puzzle!!!"
- Walmart
- Virginity
Known "collectors"
- All Wapanese (in the form of what they call Dollfie's)
- Army generals of the future
- BlueCatRiolu
- Chris-chan
- DrMusic2
- Everyone on /toy/
- Greg Mazujian
- Jennifer Diane Reitz
- Lord Rexington Fear
- Mariotehplumber
- The members of My Little Pony Arena
- Thesugarmonster
- The Unknown Autobot
- You
External links
- The king of all basement-dwellers shows off his treasures. Warning: this page will raep your bandwidth.
- JDR discusses her plan to acquire every computer game ever published, and then preserve them in "museum-like" conditions.
- Warhammer figures - plastic crap priced as gold.
- Trick your local plastic crap collector into opening their drapes every day, telling them sunlight helps preserve glossy plastic (it really speeds its decomposition by a factor of a fucktillion)
Plastic crap is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
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Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |