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Dustin Michaels
Dustin Michaels (real name Andrew Grande) was an homosexual porn star and an hero as of December 12, 2009. Unlike many other an heroes before him, however, he didn't do it for the lulz, he died due to sheer retardation. His life consisted of marijuana, fellatio, buttsecks, and did I mention faggotry? Perhaps Michaels' greatest contribution to humanity were the lulz produced through his death.
Dustin Michaels in Porn
Mr. Michaels was a porn star of the gay variety. Though he vehemently denied taking it in the ass, we all know otherwise since homosexuals love objects being inserted in their anuses. He had done porn work for many well-known companies, and his mother was very proud of him for making something of himself.
Dustin Michaels' Lifestyle
He was stoned 24/7, probably even in his porn scenes. Hailing from Alabama, Michaels was intellectually inhibited, which caused him to date a part-black person affirmative action poster child. However, he fucked other guys in porn, and the negroid boyfriend didn't mind since he had already given Michaels HIV. He had a criminal record for assault-related charges, likely due to his connections to the nigga community. He sometimes even dressed and behaved like a coon, likely due to penis envy.
Michaels' Death
On December 12, 2009, at approximately 2 AM, police responded to a disturbance call. When they arrived, Michaels knew he would end up getting fucked in the ass for a long time in prison if they caught him with weed due to his prior convictions. Thus, he boldly decided to swallow a bag of weed. Police came in and he was choking on the floor, with a bag of weed caught in his esophagus. After failed attempts to perform the Heimlich maneuver (which likely could have crushed the faggot's frame), Michaels died due to asphyxiation from a bag of weed he swallowed. Next time a liberal tries to argue with you saying marijuana is the only drug that doesn't cause death, show them this story. WEED KILLS!
Supposedly a TV crew was filming a police reality show that was at the scene. Was it really suicide, or an Illuminati murder committed due to teh evil homophobia? We will wait and see.
What Can Be Learned From This
- Weed kills.
- Weed kills faster than AIDS.
- ...and nothing of value was lost.
Dustin's Internet Activity
Before his death, he maintained a MySpace profile (screenshot on the right). He was also a very active Twitter user. He used these sites and likely gay.com to have cyber sex with his gay friends, including but not limited to Erik Rhodes, Brandon Hilton, Mrfetch, Gaygod, and Faggot Bruce.
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He liked transsexuals and Broke Straight Boys (see chest). -
Michaels and his boyfriend. -
He was bound to choke on something at some point.
External Links
- News story
- More info from the fags
- Leftard fag blames the cops Michaels is dead. Get over it crybaby, there are thousands of other naked queers on the internet to fap to. LINK HAS VIDEO!
- Moar news
- The porn community mourns
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Dustin Michaels is part of a series on GAY PORN! [Fap fap fap] |
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Dustin Michaels is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |