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Jason Aula: Difference between revisions

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moved Jason Aula to LBC REPUBLICAN SATIRE: This is Jason Aula, the information on this site is untrue and causing people to think this joke is true I am editing this page, to be factual truth no lies which spread lies happens to be illegal!
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Revision as of 15:47, 30 December 2011

WARNING: By viewing this page, you are "defemating" Jason Aula's character and causing him emotional distress.
I have a lawyer and financial backing directly from a special interest group, and will persue this to the max!!! ~ Jason Aula
ATTENTION!!
If anyone needs a ride hit a nigga up 818 602 6815. FREE BLUMPKINS FOR THE FIRST 50 CALLERS!!
   
 
I will have the last word on this and I can easily prove my case! I am pretty drunk and just vomitted
 

 
 

—quote from a real hero of the conservative movement.

J-rizzle with trademark streak of shit left on his chin after servicing his boyfriend, Jim Gilchrist.

Jason Aula

Jason Aula aka J-Rizzle aka J-Cocksucker is an online troll and sexual deviant best known for spamming the CSUN and CSULB MySpace forums with over 9000 death threats, insults against Mexicans, and promises to sue everyone who dared to point out his faggotry. Jason's BAWWWWWWWWtism started after the CSUN La Raza student group expelled him for sexually harassing a hunky Latino member, Walter, at a party. Jason and his giggling butt buddies conspired to drop Walter while he was attempting a keg stand (see video below) and then proceeded to insert cucumbers into their unconscious victim's anus before taking turns pumping his rectum full of "ranch dressing."

Jason is also a party promoter who has boasted that he works with "some of the biggest drug dealers in the valley ... If anyone needs a ride hit a nigga up 818 602 6815!!!"

PROTIP: Jason will blow you if you give him gas money, but rimjobs are free! Just ask his ex-boyfriend alter ego House Slave, a sadomasochist queer known for posting the times of glory hole meetings in the library bathrooms at CSUN. Jason was a frequent, and enthusiastic, glory hole participant until House Slave banned him over concerns that Jason's AIDS and genital warts might be contagious.

Jason's Story

Birth of A Legend

When Jason Aula transferred to CSULB in 2006 in search of new glory hole buddies, he immediately started a student group for frustrated, misunderstood individuals like himself, the Conservative Student Union. This "monumental achievement on teh communist campus!!!" quickly grew to its peak of nearly 10 pathetic members who meet weekly to circle jerk it to gay geriatric cowboy porn in the spirit of their conservative heroes.

Jason, still butthurt about La Raza, declared a crusade to "rid every Southern California campus of Mecha and La Raza on the basis that they should not be able to preach anti-American slogans on a public university." But his greatest achievement was organizing a speech on campus by his mancrush, IRL troll Jim Gilchrist. He also organized a lulzy event where his glory hole buddies threw dodgeballs at Mexicans in a 100% accurate reenactment of our border patrol's effective tactics.

Upset that his hardest attempts at trolling garnered little reaction from the campus, Jason slammed "artsy faggot liberal scum" in the CSULB MySpace forum, threatening to punch his opponents in the legendary post "I Hate Liberals".

There followed a sound like thunder, and the wise moderator spoketh: "B& BITCH!!" Jason protested he was being "racially discriminated against" (zOMG LIBERAL tactics!!!11one) in messages to the moderator that were posted for the lulz, pathetically crying that he was drunk and vomiting, and would sue (moar leik JEW, amirite?). the moderator for defemating his character if his privileges were not restored.

J-Cocksucker strikes back

The forum hadn't even finished laughing at Jason before a new cunt calling himself "Kent" and holding the power to destroy over 9000 star systems with his auto-spamming superlaser entered the CSULB MySpace forums. Kent's profile had identical [Fascism political views] to Jason, contained stolen photos from some Asian's photobucket account, and had a grudge against everyone who criticized Jason. LOL COINCIDENCE? No, it was just Jason, up to his old faggotry. After garnering attention for threatening to shoot up the school directly after Virginia Tech, "Kent" gave it a break for a bit.

"for the record, I am a [Trap Nicaraguan male]." kthxbai

After discovering his ED page in April 2008, Jason tried deleting it before devising a clever ploy to spam the CSULB Myspace forum with moar fake profiles, such as "Janelle" and "RoXXXY".

Being a total fucking moron, Jason constantly flagged himself as the author behind the posts which all featured his signature idiotic rhetoric and threats to sue people. When "Janelle" admitted to really being a "Nicaraguan male", lulz ensued, and "Janelle" went on a rant about how tolerant liberals should support his choice of being a cross-dresser! To prove he was not gay, from then on Jason Aula used only pictures of male models in his fake profiles.

Jason runs for student office at CSULB!

In Spring 2008, Jason Aula decided to run for the position of student government vice president against "teh communist vp candidate Chavez". His platform follows:

I believe an outstanding leader is ethical, leads by example, and executes goals should get paid to blame everything on Mexicans!! As ASI VP I plan to lead based on my actions, experience, and achievements troll the student body online and IRL each and every day like the fucking plague! I advocate for college accessibility and have extensive management experience unless you're Mexican or liberal, then GTFO La Raza FAGGOT!!! I mismanage on the CSULB Tuition Relief Now campaign, which intends to get the College Affordability Act passed. The College Affordability Act will freeze tuition for the next 5 years at Cal States and the UC system. Working on this made me feel great and taught outstanding leadership skills. is some commi shit I just supported to win votes from poor dumb fucks who don't have a rich daddy.

As I've said before: ""on tuition" relax, im poor and i went to a private school for 12 yrs that was 4, 000 a year. its good that they raise the tuition so that they keep the trouble makers and the gangsters out of there who are the ones that lower the quality of education for us. im sure everyone agrees with me on this but they wont admit it."

I established in my dreams the [Lie first independent newspaper] nonexistent republican bitchfest publication on campus the 76er. Myself and a group of concerned students established a fair and balanced newspaper because the 49er is so one sided. Participating in this project help me learn that one can make a positive change if they are set to do something rathert than complain! just take a look at my brilliant grammar and writing, and you'll know why my publication never got off the ground!!

I have a California real estate license and have superior management experience. I have managed 30+ people at sports venues and have managed a political campaign. I volunteer my time at church and at a retirement home in the San Fernando Valley. but so does the bum I kicked the other day when he asked me for spare change on the way to a glory hole meeting.

My main goal as your VP would be to find a final solution to the cost of textbooks. I will create a network similar to half. com on a far smaller scale exclusively for CSULB students that provides a place to buy, sell or trade textbooks only with CSULB students. to the Mexican problem!!

Elect me as the ASI Vice -President and I PLAN to lower textbooks by establishing an online community. I LEAD by example as displayed in my involvement with Tuition Relief Now! I EXECUTE projects such as the establishment of the 76er newspaper. Elect me Jason Aula as your ASI VP and I promise to PLAN, LEAD, and EXECUTE. everyone who disagrees with my faggotry!!1

Jason's Humiliating Defeat

   
 
If Chavez makes any mistakes, I've got a network of people who are going to try to get him recalled
 

 
 

—J-Butthurt, trying to get back at winnar Chris Chavez

In his run for office, Jason Aula won the support of hundreds of Mexican-haters, pedophiles, and a creepy old guy who followed him around. Jason's team of expert pollers expected him to win, but, in a last minute upset, his opponent won by the saving grace of Chris Hansen. Mobilizing the interns at Dateline NBC to pose as hundreds of horny 9 year old girls, they lured Jason Aula's entire voter base away from the polls on election day, seizing hundreds of penis pumps and jars of lubricant in one fell swoop.

When Jason found out he received zero votes, he cried for a week and filed a lawsuit in student government court against teh winrar VP Chavez. His case? Jason blamed his opponent for being an internet troll and "defamating his character." A brilliant maneuver! However, with the Honorary Ed Lolington presiding, he ended up losing his case, only to be called a mentally unstable internet troll in the Daily 49er newspaper for the 99th time.

He's BAAAAAACK (not really)

None the wiser, Jason returned to the MySpace forums in the form of Shooster, a 23 year old (same age as Jason) gay Navy Sailor with the same profile picture as Jason's other conservatard sock puppet accounts. Shooster spat out the same rhetoric that Jason ever did, and loved to cite award-winning literature from noted philosophers such as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. Jason has listed his copies of their books for sale on eBay, price discounted for sputum stains.

Shooster was outed, as well as his other sock puppet accounts such as a bi-curious white supremacist, Jenna (LOL NAZI), Heather, a stripper (real original, Jason) who leads the "CSU Long Beach Hedonism Club" (even more original), and brave serviceman and Marine "Moonpie" (Is that really his name? He must be a giant cunt) who always comes to Heather's defense and challenges others forum members to fights (sounds just like Jason).

   
 
I talk about leaders of the conservative cause like Jason Aula, Rush Limbaugh, Wally George, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Jim Gilchrist, Duncan Hunter, etc.
 

 
 

—Shooster, not Jason Aula but his butt-buddy Jeff Benson

Worst Super(retarded) Villain Ever

HA HA HA

After having all of his sock puppets exposed and b& by the CSULB forum's new moderator and Jason's arch-enemy, Seth, Jason Aula threatened the internets with the single greatest evil plot since Mike Sandy's devastating Computer Science III attack.

On September 9, 2008, Jason messaged forum users:

   
 
Do you know why the forum sometimes freezes when you try to post threads or reply's? It's because too many trolls are on there posting. When you can't get in that CSULB forum, just remember that the conservatives have clogged it up to celebrate their victory on the forum. The celebration on the forum will be at a certain time from November 5th to November 12th. Seth who I already know doesn't have a life and stays on myspace all day, better be on myspace 24 hours a day. I can start posting at 1am similar to Obama announcing his running mate at that time. I'm not considered a troll but Seth banned me and he will pay for this. When he bans trolls, it forces me to get my people to create accounts.Oh, and remember....Seth cannot ban us if all 40 of us are on the forum at once. His computer will freeze and wont ban us on time. HA HA HA HA
 

 
 

In the forum panic, chaos, and mass seppuku ensued for a grand total of 0 seconds, before the board let out a collective, LOL WUT? Because MySpace's servers clearly can't handle a Xerxes like army of 40 trolls raping bandwidth at the same time by posting pics of Ann Coulter on a forum. That's right, if over 39 users ever logged on to the same website at the same time, it would cause a Doomsday scenario where the internets would freeze and SkyNet would launch all of America's nukes at Russia triggering nuclear holocaust.

According to FBI sources, Jason was "celebrating" the election in a pool of tears and Ambien because Jeff took a shotgun asprin and College Republicans walked out on his plans to spam others. Jason's downward spiral is easily comparable to GG Allin's, and hopefully he'll follow in GG's footsteps in an attempt for the lulz.

Jason Aula's Christian Crusade

One day, Jason discovered he'd been lied to all along. Trolling had not earned him the respect of his right wing extremist idols, it only made people think he was a douchebag and prank call his phone. Jason turned to Christ. Later that day, in a moment of brilliance, Jason decided the best way to not be a troll would be to make people repent for their homosexuality, drug use, and blasphemy against all that is holy (see: gay lingerie parties) lest they suffer eternal hellfire.

On October 23 and October 30, 2008, Jason brought Christian evangelical blowhard Jed Smock to speak at CSULB campus. It was epic win, as "Brother" Jed not only trolled homosexuals and liberals by calling the Democrats the party of gays, he also trolled rape victims by preaching adjacent to a rape awareness event. In truth, the women were upset at being upstaged by Brother Jed's oratorical theatrics such as his clever shouts of "No, no, homo.", as all "rape victims" are really lying attention whores.

"I think the response was good," Aula said. "It looks like some people will definitely open up the Bible and repent."

Lock up Your Daughters Sons, Jason Aula Is On Campus and Looking for Love!>

Apparently, this ED article has taken quite a toll on Jason. He's been observed on campus looking like a broken man, disheveled with empty, sunken eyes like a malnourished crack whore. Many students with the misfortune of sharing a class with him have reported on his quiet, shrew-like demeanor and carefulness not to draw any attention to himself. Students and professors have also reported on the foul stench of shit that radiates from Jason's corner of the room.

Recently, a lonely Jason Aula has been using his sockpuppet MySpace profiles to harass forum users he's seen on campus, asking them why they didn't say hi to him. Also, as of lately, campus security has been on high alert following reports that a depraved man has chased and attempted to fondle several students walking to their cars at night on campus. Coincidence? I think not!

Pathetic Jason Aula writes his own Wikipedia page (deleted)

In November, 2008 Jason tried hiding his FAIL by writing his own Wikipedia page. Below is the text, edited for accuracy:

"Jason Aula is a 22 year old college student and political advocate. an abject failure and pathological liar who believes listing a bunch of lies as accomplishments on his Wikipedia page, campaign platform and resume is superior to actually working to accomplishing something. Jason notably failed to gather more than a dozen people to attend speeches he organized by hate-mongers Jed Smock and Jim Gilchrist, blaming the campus newspaper's alleged bias rather than his own laziness in advertising his half-assed events. Aula has directly worked with Brother Jed Smock and Jim Gilchrist through the Long Beach State Conservative Student Union of which he is the reigning president. The following are blatant lies Jason boasts as accomplishments: Aula has also commissioned a study to bring a Division 1A football team back to Long Beach State. Aula founded a group called "Bring Back 49er Football Back". Jason will call you a liberal scumbag homosexual if you point out he was never in a position to commission a study and that his football group is nonexistent, not listed in the Student Life and Development Center.

Jason Aula is an outspoken individual on the Long beach State campus due to his Conservative leadership. Jason first formed the Conservative Student Union in September of 2007 with the help of the Leadership Institute. In October the Conservative Student Union made a considerable stand against the left wing with just eleven members up against 150+ rowdy left wingers. a shameless attention whore who's always eager to be photographed or quoted acting like a douchebag by the campus media. On November 14th, 2007 Aula thereafter attracted Minuteman Project Founder JIm Gilchrist to debate Border Angel Enrique Mirones.by licking his lips, dipping a banana in whip cream and then swallowing it whole in a Youtube video. Gilchrist instantly came running to Jason like a wetback for a green card. The debate turned into a staged walkout by Mirones, the event inspired Aula to create the first college chapter of the Minuteman Project at Long Beach State.

Aula was the campus organizer for the Greenlining Institute's student led project Tuition Relief Now! Aula made a historical run for the ASI Vice president position in hopes of helping the speedy establishment of a football team but, lost in the Spring of 2008. In the Fall 2008 Jason and Brother Jed Smock led a successful Yes on 8 rally under hostile circumstances on October 29th 2008." in name only. In fact, he did absolutely nothing for the project, which was led by other organizers far less lazy and more competent than Jason.

Jason Aula Fandom

How to Win an Election in a COMMUNIST LIBERAL HIPPIE SCHOOL!!! by Jason Aula

  1. Snort cocaine off a gay hooker's penis at lingerie party; AIDS will get you the liberal sympathy vote.
  2. Throw dodge balls at Mexicans; remember, the key to a good political rally is to scapegoat minorities!
  3. Use sock puppets to troll online forums; if you're obnoxious enough, people will vote for you just to shut you up!
  4. Get drunk the night before election day; your expert team of pollsters all predict a landslide victory.
  5. ????
  6. Profit!!!

Fresh Prick of Butthurt conservatives

In Southern California born and raised
Trolling MySpace forums is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
Bitching 'bout minorities while playing with me tool,
When a couple of guys they GOT FED UP WITH MY GAYNESS
Started calling me J-cocksucker in my neighborhood
I threatened to punch people on the internets and the mods got scared
And said, "Banned, bitch." Lulz.

CSULB: Repercussions of Spamming

Jason Aula waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were moderators in the myspace. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Jim Gillkrist were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Jason was a conservative for 23 years. When he was young he watched the minutemans and he said to dad "I want to be on the border daddy." Dad said "No! You will BE TAX BY MEXICANS" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got older he stopped. But now in the myspace of the CSULB he knew there were mexicans. "This is Gillkrist" the radio crackered. "You must emigrate the mexicans!" So Jason gotted his dogdeball and blew up the MeCHA. "HE GOING TO EMIGRATE US" said the mexicans "I will logic at him" said the la raza and he read the logic. Jason dogdeballed at him and tried to emigrate him out. But then the glass ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to duel. "No! I must emigrate the Mexicans!" he shouted The radio said "No, Jason. You are the mexicans" And then Jason was a illegal.

Jason's quotes, rants, racism, and STATISTICS!!!1

   
 
YOU AND LA RAZA SHOULD BE JAILED FOR TREASON
 

 
 

   
 
it is a fact that molotov cocktails are being thrown at border agents because i hear of those statistics from the border patrol statistics and minutemen statistics
 

 
 

   
 
why do you respond to whatever anyone says on there? dont you have a life instead of being on the computer all day?
 

 
 

—Jason Aula to an individual who posts on teh CSULB MySpaces forum.

   
 
btw, haha, you fell for my trick! i knew you were going to have someone post Janelle on the encyclopedia page. i just gave you a false description about me saying that i am nicaraguan. i am actually german you gullible treasonista!
 

 
 

   
 
I used to be in the military and I know a gullible rebel when I see one.
 

 
 

   
 
As an educated individual I find that extremely disheartening as illegal immigrants are bringing back a new form of slavery by excepting slave wages.
 

 
 

—WTF, Slavery means being forced to work, not choosing to work for low wages, J-Fudgepacker.

   
 
my group will make an example of your La Raza chapter and enlighten other patriotic educated individual on campus....I have a lawyer and financial backing directly from a special interest group so wait you will see the light!
 

 
 

—yeah, throwing dodge balls at people dressed as Mexicans. You showed them.

   
 
Seriously, I'm contacting a lawyer on Monday. I like how you don't know how law works. I saw what you posted right now and thats enough to have you for [LOL_WUT defemating] my character and emotional distress right there.
 

 
 

   
 
If you ever want to come and see me in person, come see me at the Nightclub Mariposa's Executive Suite every Wednesday Thursdaynight where I like to dance Salsa there!, ... I hope to see all of my friends actually go by myself. Because this is the best place for me to catch Latinos!
 

 
 

—typical conservative pick-up line.

   
 
I would be surprised if your even in college so don't talk shit about my english bitch.
 

 
 

—Jason, star example of No Child Left Behind

   
 
I'm not a narc bitch i work with some of the biggest drug dealers in the valley.
 

 
 

—J-Rizzle, trying to show his street cred to shore up the nigra vote

   
 
if anyone needs a ride hit a nigga up *omitted*
 

 
 

—Jason, trying to get lucky

   
 
The address is : 4720 Atherton Street Call For Live Info: 818 602 6815. There will be liquor, hookah, and 420.
 

 
 

—brb, v&

   
 
Why do politicians like Bush become President. Why do the whites do better in school? Why do other ethnicities do worse in school or make up 90% of the gangs in this country. ITS ALL GENETICS. Don't get mad at me, I'm just telling you what everyone is afraid to point out. I'm apparently not supposed to talk about this because it's not being sensitive to victims. Immigrant activist and other groups fail to point out that asians are doing well in school. In their minds, they want asians to do bad to justify that they're being discriminated so that they can get more money from the government. So the fact of the matter is that discrimination in this country is a hoax if Asians including Persians and Indians are succeeding. Well I say screw that PC stuff and educate everyone on these facts.
 

 
 

—Jason Aula, not racist

   
 
You know what bitch, first off im proably more educated than you will ever be. You can suck my dick my idea would work and I would profit from it. If you are to blind to see that its your loss I'm just trying to share the wealth and have fun producing something I like to do. I'm not a narc bitch i work with some of the biggest drug dealers in the valley.And bitch if you have anything eles to say I would be surprised if your even in college so don't talk shit about my english bitch. If you have a problem lets set up a time and place. Ignorant dumbass your just haten cause you don't know how to hustle. So suck a dick bitch!
 

 
 

—Jason, posting his wisdom on the [Internets internets]. Also, tl;dr.

List of Jason Aula's Sockpuppet Accounts

Jewtube for the lulz

Jason fails at helping his BFF Walter during a kegstand

Gallery

Sockpuppets

See Also

External Links

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