Matt Sanchez

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Matt "Dirty" Sanchez is a rightard blawgger, commentator, independant journalist, and Marine reservist. He is also a faggot ex-manwhore and gay porn star. Liberals laugh at him and his flaming American penis. He is also one ugly motherfucker.

READY TO RAEP

Early Life

Sanchez explains to a colleague the reasons why pulling out of Iraq too early would be a big mistake.

Matt Sanchez, aka Rod Majors, aka Pierre LaBranche was born in 1970. As a young man he appeared in such fine films as Montreal Men, Jawbreaker, Touched by an Anal, and many others. [1] He also worked as a "masseuse", where he provided "excellent top" quality rubdowns for a mere $200, $250 outcall. [2]

Sanchez eventually became disillusioned with the world of faggotry and the spreading of AIDS. He joined the Marines and converted to a born again Republican rightard. After he was discharged from the Marines for having too much AIDS he decided to go to college.

Political Activism and National Recognition

Sanchez discusses with some colleagues the scientific shortcomings of evolution and the superiority of intelligent design theory.

Sanchez and Ann Coulter comparing penis sizes. Ann's was bigger, but only by a centimeter.

One day while he attended classes at Columbia, Sanchez was accosted by by a herd of hippy leftards. They called him stupid and "baby-killer," and made fun of him for being a Mexican (proving indeed that liberals are racist hypocrites). Instead of being a man about it, by raeping their throats until he crushed their larynxes with his massive schlong, he had to be a big gaywad and go file a formal complaint with the University. When he was ignored by the school, he took his complaint to Fox News.

Sanchez' impassioned pleas for tolerance eventually gained him national recognition from such rightard luminaries as Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly , Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Newt Gingrich. He was awarded the first ever America, Fuck Yeah, Super-Patriot!!!! Award.

Then the details of his sordid past became public. Lulz ensued.

Sanchez and Wikipedia

It's only fictional!!!

Matt Sanchez is butthurt, because he can't control what goes into his own Wikipedia page. [3]

	“	Having gay sex for a fictional production is not the same thing as being gay. Do we have a consensus on DADT?(don't ask, don't tell) I still vote for it to be taken on.	„
	—Matt Sanchez on his Wikipedia page.

	“	The sex doesn't look fictional to me. Looks like homosexual sex to me.	„
	—some dude in response

Facercise

[4][5] WTF?

Matt Sanchez has the eerie ability to make his head invisible.

Sanchez in Iraq

Sanchez is currently working as an embedded journalist in Iraq. He was one of the first people to expose on his blawg that Pvt Scott Thomas Beauchamp was full of shit. Some argue that he may have also raeped Pvt Beauchamp, though that has yet to be corroborated.

Matt Sanchez is part of a series on Gay Republicans [NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

Homofags Andrew Shirvell • Ann Coulter • Ben Johnson • Bob Allen • Bubba Copeland • Charlie Check'm • Corrupt.org • Chuck Norris • Cigarskunk • Condoleezza Rice • David Vitter • George Rekers • Ghost • Jack Thompson • Jason Aula • Jeff Gannon • Judge William Adams • Larry Craig • Lindsey Graham • Marco Rubio • Mark Foley • Matt Drudge • Matt Sanchez • Michael Savage • Mike Pence • MONGO • Nickolaus • Nick Fuentes • Norm Coleman • Patrick McHenry • Richard Curtis • Rick Perry • Roy Ashburn • Roy Moore • Rusty Ray • Rick Santorum • Silver Seren • Ted Haggard • Trent Lott • Troy King • UpDownMostly See Also The Daytona Nine • Ex-Gay • Heterosexuality • Homophobia • Homosexuality • No Homo • Not gay