Palestine

Offended? If you have been offended by "Palestine", please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.

It has been suggested that this country should be merged with Israel. To find out moar please fire moar rockets at the infidels.

Palestinians love peace, but they prefer this. ( sauce )

Palestine's national anthem

Palestine, AKA 'Fuck-You-I-Was-Here-first Land' is the drama headquarters of the world. No single place in the world has generated this much drama since Nazi Germany. Palestine continually gets pwned by Israel. Palestinians, due to their racial handicap, are prone to spontaneous detonation, causing much annoyance and lulz. The Palestinians have lived in Palestine since last thursday when the Muslim Imperial Caliphate pwnd the Byzantines, Jews have lived there since some kike hitchhiked there from Sumeria over 9000 years ago. According to a 16-year old girl, this makes the Palestinians the indigenous, native people of the land.

Most recently, Palestinians in Gaza generated enormous drama on the world stage. It has been suggested that Palestinians have just as much of a persecution complex as do Jews.

For great justice

Ironically, Palestine is the largest producer of American flags in the world

Palestinian Liberation Army, special unit Delta.

What the lefties want you to believe. Pro tip: no, they are Arabs.

Israelis and Palestinians work together to keep the drama going

Who Are You Talking To?

Know with whom you are conversing.

• If the person says "Palestine", she is a liberal leftard who supports terrorism.
• If the person says "Israel", she is an Jew neoconservative fuck.
• If the person says "I am neutral about this matter", she is a liberal Commie or possibly a hippie.
• If the person says "I don't care", she is not a liberal or conservative and does not care about kikes or sandniggers. In accordance with common knowledge, we can deduce she is a freedom hating fascist.
• If the person says "I think Russia should arm Iran to nuke all of Israel and Palestine" she is a Nazi.
• If the person says "The Middle East", she doesn't know what she is talking about is American and should be ridiculed immediately by a seasoned professional ridiculer.
• If the person says "I am not a she", she is most certainly a she.
• If the person persists that she is not a she, she should be be ridiculed immediately by a seasoned professional ridiculer.
• If she is a he, it's a trap.

Islamic Jihad

Muslims of all variations believe in one thing: That Jews should be killed and Israel should be taken over by Muslims. Therefore, in 1997 the "Jihad" was founded. Jihad (Arabic for clubhouse), is a community center in Ramallah where absolutely no Jews are allowed! Some Jew once attempted to enter Jihad, but they were turned away promptly. Smaller "Jihad" franchises are popping up all over the world. It is estimated that by 2017, all Palestinians will have died due to attempting to operate Slurpee machines using only one arm. Recently, Internet Jihadis have been pwned. See jihadunspun.com.

Trolling Palestinians and Their Western Groupies

• If engaged in a boring conversation about Palestine with a liberal, act confused and ask them to point out the country on a map for you.
• If engaged with said Arab/Liberal ask them to explain why Jordan isn't for Palestinians and then watch them stutter and bullshit and ridicule them as they do so.
• Ask them if the suffering of other, non-Palestinian Islamic citizens (like those of Darfur) is anywhere as important as the suffering of Palestinian people. You might want to read "Wikipedia:Genocide in Darfur" first, because the conflict is heavily shushed in the Arab Media and most of those fucktards haven't even heard of the place.
• Americans have been known to engage in Israeli bulldozer tag but seem unfamiliar with the rules.
• If you are particularly lucky, you'll find an Arab who is dumb enough to bitch about those poor Christian Palestinians whom the evil Jews forced to flee to the United States. Never mind the fact that the Americans are the only real victims of this policy, since they end up being mugged and raped by this scum.
• If talking to a Christian evangelist who supports Israel because Muslims are evil, ask them about Christian Palestinians and how they feel about them. It will not compute at all and their head will divide by zero and subsequently explode. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK ARAB COCKS!

Palestine Remembered

How Palestine should have been divided.

The British Mandate of Palestine was established in 1922 and included today's Israel and Jordan (called Transjordan back in the day). Both Jews and Arabs lived in Palestine long before that happened. First the Arabs got Jordan, then they got the so-called "Palestinian territories" Judea, Samaria and Gaza, and now they want the rest of Israel too.

There is also a palfag organisation called "Palestine Remembered", who remember Palestine as a sort of country which Jews invaded in 1948. Never mind that this never actually happened - what they are doing is similar to how your theRapist helps you "remember" that you were molested as a child. Although it's probably true in your case.

Palestine and Statistics

The Palestinians as a nation owe their existence to a paradox in statistics. Consider this:

• If you say that Arabs lost about 1% of their turf - the part which has absolutely no oil - it doesn't sound like much.
• But if you say that the Palestinians were bestolen half their precious homeland, it suddenly sounds like a lot, even though it's only half of nothing. It's like that time when you found that ex-boyfriend of yours two-timing with that tranny whore.
• Thus, some of the Arabs now call themselves "Palestinians". This makes their claim to the land called "Palestine" fully justified, and international solidarity follows.

The only reason why those camel fuckers call themselves "Palestinians" is so that their claim to the Holy Land of Israel would appear legit to morons. In plain English, Palestinians are towelhead camel-fucking whining poverty-stricken sub-human parasites camped out on the Israelis' front lawn trying to drum up enough of a pity party to hold back the bulldozers from trashing their Occupy Batshit Crazy Religious Landmarks protest.

Palestine is Cancer

The well known Palestinian flag, burning because of the Jews.

Cancer is a group of cells which reproduce uncontrollably until you're dead. The same can be said about Palestinians. Look up the population growth rate on TOW, and figure out how many of them there will be in about 50 years. You could expect that the Palestinian - and especially Gazan - governments figured this out already and are acting proactively to limit the population growth. But alas, they know neither enough math to figure this out nor the concept of acting proactively.

Other stuff Palestinians don't want you to know about

Hamas Swift Justice Task Force executing a snitch. The scene may look grisly to an uninitiated observer, but don't worry, Hamas promised me that this guy was as guilty as a rat and deserved to die. His defense attorney (passenger, the bike in the middle) emphatically agrees to that.

• Palestinians were kicked out of Kuwait for supporting Saddam Hussein, they were kicked out of Jordan for trying to set up state within a state, they were nearly kicked out of Lebanon (for starting a civil war), and are generally disliked in the Arab countries. So it's kinda the same status as Jews enjoyed in Europe circa 1930.
• Between 800,000 to 1,000,000 Jews left the Arab countries and moved to Israel, which is more than the number of Arabs who left Israel. So why do we only ever hear about the "Palestinians"? It's simple, they actually outdid the Jews in bitching about it.
• The Palestinians are actually filthy Greeks who invaded the Levant around 1100 BC, which comes at least 900 years after the appearance of the covetous Hebrews from which lineage we now enjoy our modern oligarchy of investment banking overlords.
• After Israel built a fence to keep the Palestinians out, Egypt had to do the exact some thing on their side because they started suicide bombing them instead of the Jews. This in spite of the fact that Egypt gives them money.

To whom does Palestine belong?

To the Jews, ever since they turned it into Israel.

Videos to troll Palestinians with

Palestinians give kikes a run for their money, when it comes to butthurt.

Discaimer No palestinians were harmed during the making of this commercial. Damn.

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History

Emperor Vespasian took the Jews out of Palestine and gave it to the Muslims in the name of Lulz and Allah

Summary

Canaanites were the first to happily inhabit Palestine, but then Hell summoned the Jews, and lulz ensued: the Israelites raped the Canaanites, the Assyrians raped the Israelites, the Babylonians raped the Assyrians, the Persians raped the Babylonians (and freed the Jews), the Greeks raped the Persians, the Jews raped the Greeks, the Romans raped the Jews (various times), the Byzantines also raped the Jews, the Sunni Arabs raped the Byzantines, the Shia Arabs raped the Sunni Arabs, the Crusaders raped the Arabs, the Mamelucks raped the Crusaders, the Ottomans raped the Mamelucks, the British raped the Ottomans, the British left, the neo-Jews raped the Palestinians, and the Palestinians raped themselfs (see suicide bomber).

TO BE CONTINUED.

Roman period

Jews lived in the land before Islam even existed. When the Romans invaded ancient Israel at least 2,000 years ago, the Jews were afraid. They were petrified, and thought the wops were there to stay. Then they spent so many nights thinking how the Romans did them wrong, and thought that they grew strong and that they knew how to get along. Shortly after killing the Lord and savior of all mankind in cooperation with the Roman state, they tried to kick the Romans out, but of course most of them did not survive and were subsequently punished with 2,000 years of epic fail. In fact the Roman Emperor Vespasian said "ALL YOUR LAND ARE BELONG TO ME!!!!" and sent the legions along with a healthy contingent of Arab mercenaries.

After severely pwning the Jews he took two thirds of the population and scattered them all across Europe for the lulz. To thank the Sandniggers for their help, he let them settle Israel and call it "Palestine". And that’s how Allah gave the holy land to the Muslims. If you say Palestine belongs to Jews, you hate Allah and you disrespect the great Roman emperor. This is why if somebody ever took something from you even though Allah or Emperor Vespasian told you it's yours, you've been Palestined.

This video illustrates the Jewish uprising against Romans. Vespasian is the disco ball.

How to make a HAMAS Hero!

Typical kids' playground on the Gaza Strip. These sliding boards were intended for use by Jewish kids, but the Model Rocketry Club plays here a lot lately.

When the child is ready, the Palestinian parent will send him to learn how to be an hero. Here is what the children will learn at the HAMAS camp:

Or, if you live in England and you are an activist, as well as musical talent you can make a crappy song about how evil Israel is and gain some awards for it, and you can become a hero as well once it becomes good.

If you don't belive it, try this yourself!

(Moar like "believe", you illiterate faggot.) <- How about just fixing the fucking misspelling and STFU, you pedantic cretin? <- Pot? Meet kettle.

Famous Palestinians

Flag of Palestine

• Izzi (Sileas) - A Palestinian internet celebrity, whose blog was raped and removed.
• Carlos Latuff - At least he thinks he is.
• Samia - Only half.
• Liberal community - They wish.
• DAM - Palestinian rap group. Palestine + rap = LMFAO
• [1]- Mickey Mouse from Hamas' kids tv

Kid's TV

This shit is as real as Marilyn Manson is ugly. In this video, the fluffy pink bunny and the cute little girl tell children to go to Denmark and kill a few people. Encyclopedia Dramatica supports this message 100% (that is unless it interferes with the output of Muhammad cartoons). When the DVD is released, you should buy it for your own child, along with a one-way ticket to Copenhagen.

(Confirmation in a CNN article, Norwegian newspaper article)

Mein Summer Kampf

Also known as the Jihad summer camp. Nuff said. Oh, and it's funded by the UN.

The best lulz start around @15:00

Gaza Blockade

Why do the Jews actually bother doing that blockade crap when they could spend their time polishing Jew Gold instead? The thing is, Gaza is ruled by Hamas mudslime, and they insist on playing with Quassam fireworks in the Israel's backyard. This seriously scares the Jew dogs (dogs are really scared of fireworks BTW), and so to stop them, Jews decided to wage a real war, permabanning about 1,000 Hamas supporters. Hamas still insists on playing with their fireworks and they are still planning to permaban all of Israel one day. The latter actually does worry the Jews, because who knows how things will be in 50 or 100 years? They could very well end up back in Holocaust or Gulag.

Nothing short of a final permaban of all Palestinians would stop the fireworks, and even the Jews thought that that would be a little disproportionate. So instead, they decided to shut off Gaza from everything except food, hoping that Hamas would eventually get tired of playing and leave.

In a more recent development, Jews decided to permaban the Hamas fireworks chief Abdullah Aikillal Yehudim. This resulted in a joyous Palestinian mob firing all of their fireworks at once, ensuring that the lulz will continue for decades to come. However, thanks to the sharp eyes, quick reflexes, and keen detective work of the Israeli Defense Force, only 12,000 fireworks have crossed the border into Palestine, which still makes them more effective than the American border patrol and their War on Drugs.

There was also some drama when a bunch of peace-loving Muslim Brotherhood hippies tried to jump the Gaza blockade and replenish Gaza's fireworks supply. Jew commandos managed to stop them, but not before discovering that, like most Palestinians, these "peace-loving" muslims were actually armed with pipes and batons. As the common saying "don't bring a pipe to a gunfight" doesn't translate well into Arabic, Moar lulz ensued.

See also: Freedom Flotilla

The people of Gaza are in a dire situation indeed.

The Catastrophe

The granddaddy of all Palestinians

Guess which one of the following events is called "the catastrophe" by the Palestinians:

• Chernobyl Catastrophe NO
• The Great Irish Famine NO
• Khmer Rouge Cambodian Genocide NO
• Halabja poison gas attack, Anfal Genocide NOPE
• Holocaust LOLOLOLOL
• Triassic–Jurassic mass extinction event NO
• The Palestinians decided to walk about 50 km in 1948. YES!

Yes, the Arab word for catastrophe or calamity is "Al-Naqba", and the Palestinians use it exclusively for that one hike in '48.

Apartheid Wall

Keeping the Palestinians separated from the Jews with a wall is Apartheid, because the Palestinians want to blow up Jews just as much as the Negro of South Africa wanted to vote.

Fun Facts

Fighting the good fight.

• Palestinians are a made-up race, like the Vulcans. In essence, they're just Jordanians gone wrong.

• According to the United Nations and the Boston Globe, the average resident of Gaza requires a half a ton of flour daily to survive. Man, those motherfuckers can eat!

• About 700,000 Arabs were punted out of Israel in 1948. They immediately started fucking like wild animals and now number about four million. It's like leaving a rabbit cage unattended, goddamnit.

• Were they kicked out or were they actually stupid enough to leave voluntarily? The Jews claim that "The faggots left Israel so that their pussy Sandnigger friends could go kill teh j00s" [2]. Be what may, the result is six million subsisting on a GDP roughly equaling the value of Oskar Schindler's watch. With no access to oil or social security checks, Arabs have no way out of poverty.

• The only way for Arab-Jew conflict to end is for the Jews to exterminate roughly 6 million Muslim Arabs using Israel's top-secret nukes.

• Palestinians are known to be the biggest emotional blackmailers on the face of the Earth.

• Palestine is less a state, and more the world's biggest high-security prison for terrorists, with Israeli settlers acting as prison guards.

• The Palestinian Authority have named a street in Ramallah AND a street in Jenin after prolific terrorist Yahya Ayyash, a man who killed 101 Israeli citizens and injured another 338 between 1993 and 1996.

• DO IT YOU FAGGOTS, DO IT!!!

THE TRUTH

The hunk of Mediterranean crap that passes as the holy land (also known as Canaan) has been inhabited by the Lebanese since time immemorial, but was invaded by the covetous Israelite tribes some time in the past, the exact date of which nobody gives a shit about. After a bunch of shit happened, the Arabs (who up to this point had contented themselves with poetry and camels) moved in. They began to call themselves Palestinians at some point in the 20th century in response to attempts by the British to unload their Jewry in the Levant where they wouldn't be able hurt anyone of a righteous Anglo Saxon persuasion (the limeys had absolutely no interest in establishing a convenient base from which to take over the Suez Canal and tap the vast reserves of apple juice in Central Asia). Thus was set the inevitable trend towards the horror of the Near East now called Israel, which must be destroyed at all costs.

The moral to be taken away from this story is that Arabs are just lying Jews strapped with explosives and Nasrallah is a pretty cool guy.

The Great Palestinian Lie

Palestinian lie about Subaru car accident

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It's well known among a narrow group of intellectuals that a lot of Palestinians try to lure liberals into their money-grabbing trap. The technique is quite simple:

1. Provoke Israelis into doing something about their bullshit (like any normal person would do)
2. Shoot it on camera
3. Present it in specific context that plays into your hands
4. Baww, we're the victims here
5. ?????
6. PROFIT!!

TL;DR

The entire conflict explained in a nutshell!

Powerpuff girls= Israel

Mojo Jojo= Palestine

Hippies= Leftards, U.N, E.U, the world

Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Failistinian butthurt ensues
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  Subaru - official anti-terrorist car
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  Typical plaestinians

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Fair justice from a different angle
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  KFC Gaza Strips

See Also

• Islam
• Israel
• Suicide
• Freedom Flotilla
• Rachel Corrie

External Links

• Raid Gaza and show your supreme skillz (non-JG mirror)

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Warning! The warning above was made by a butthurt raghead.