North Atlantic Treaty Organization

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization or NATO is full of weak, capitalist, and liberal hippie countries in North America and Europe. These are countries that were butt-hurt by Stalin and the clearly superior Soviet Union after World War 2. It's a homosex circle-jerk of countries, obviously! "Bulwark against the Soviets" yer ass, the USSR fell apart in 1991 and the NATOskies haven't even figgered it out yet. NATO is full of Jews, niggers, faggots, and old men with small cocks.

American and European right-wingers love to bitch about NATO because it's fairy, and the Left loves to bitch because it's militaristic and hard gay. Ya can't win. [1] Despite all this, countries in eastern Europe are begging to be let in. Only a few countries in Europe, especially Ireland, Scandinavia, Switzerland and Austria aren't members. Because they aren't stupid. (Parts of the Balkans aren't members because they are too pathetic.)

Background

In 1943, The United States and The United Soviet Republics signed the "Roosevelt-Stalin Pact" to conquer, reap, and divide occupied Europe. The Eastern 2/3rd would go to Russia, while the more refined Western remaining third would go to America. The Russians called their empire the "Iron Cunt" and the Americans called their occupied territories "NATO". After defeating the local European Natives in an industrial carpet bombing re-make of the battle of Sioux Falls, the occupied provinces were reorganized economically as the "European Union" and militarily as the "North Atlantic Treaty Organization". Native resistance was not squashed immediately and therefore decades of Moscow and Washington-sponsored terrorism ensued. Just as the "warsaw" pact was in fact an euphemism for Soviet Imperialism, NATO is to this day a light euphemism for Washington occupation of the trans-Atlantic provinces and Turkey (which would in time turn superbly useful for Gladio B and constitutes proof that the American occupation was never faithful to any Christian or European sentiment, just jewgold)

The Jewnited States of Americunts first started NATO at least 100 years ago. Many other stupid countries such as France, England, and Canada (the US's little clamhat bitch), quickly joined because they were we's afraids of Rainbow Stalin and his golden commie penis squad. Many of the countries didn't realize that they were doing it wrong and the United States would basically make them moar states because the US is full of kikes and butt-rangers that want nothing more than gold and power.

After the Jews in the US formed NATO, the vastly superior and less-homo communist Soviets decided they needed to have a better party than the Americunts, so they had another party in Warsaw, Poland (no American Jews allowed) where they came out with a much cooler and dick-harder treaty, the Warsaw Pact.

Since the USSR went down on your mom, NATO has been doing an "eastern expansion". Which is actually a lot cheaper than the military parts of the old Marshall Plan, especially the rebuilding of the little countries' armies that had been stripped clean of equipment when the Germans played Uninvited Houseguest in the early 1940s. For a number of years the Belgian Army wore US-surplus field uniforms and rode around on junky war-surplus Sherman tanks. They used to talk about "FaG diplomacy" in the 1960s, how the Soviets would sell FaG-21 fighters to any country roughly aligned with Communism and willing to pay cash for the airplanes. Well, the USA and its NATO "fiends" had Sherman diplomacy a few years before, selling these mostly obsolete tanks to any pro-American pussy-lick government that wanted them, and some countries you think they would be excluded from (the US sold leftover M-36 tank destroyers, a Sherman derivative, to Yugoslavia in the 1950s.) Plus, there used to be a "SEATO" (the southeast Asian version of NATO). NATO has outlasted it by 38 years. It fell apart thanks partly to America's cunt-punting in Vietnam.

The real reason for NATO's expansion

It boils down to two things: Money and Guns. By joining NATO, the former Warsaw Pact countries have to be armed to NATO standard, which means their soldiers get to fire M-16 automatic rifles instead of AKMs and AK-74s, their pilots get to fly F-16 jets, their navies get to buy used US or European ships. How do they pay for this shit? LOANS, OF COURSE! Which they pay back by selling us whatever natural resources they have, including gypsy hearts and whores. To make the deal sweeter, they will let us sell them the equipment to make some of the lower-tech weapons within their countries, usually in the old factories which made knockoffs of Soviet weapons during the Cold War! And so the West becomes the USSR's replacement.

Of course all this pisses off the Russians, especially as the NATO states move away from the ex-Warsaw Pact states and into ex-component states of the Soviet Union. The Ukraine rump state wants fucking US guns to fight Russian tanks, while plucky, whore-filled Georgia wants to arm itself to the teeth, even though Uncle Vova will stomp the everloving shit out of it again if they give Moscow sass.

So expect to be drafted into a NATO fuckup war in ten years, kids! And that means you, fat little shitlords with multiple gaming consoles. You are premium cannon fodder. It won't be nearly as much fun as Battlefield 5 or Call of Duty. In fact, if you're lucky, you'll just be quickly and humanely incinerated by a Russian tactical nuke in some shitty Ukrainian town no one's ever heard of. The rest of you will work your asses off, sleep in ditches with shit in your pants, and eventually get shredded into monkeyburgers with an IED or a cluster bomb. Say hi to Putin for us, faggots! All those feminists and trans-things you were attacking and "swatting" in East Bumfuck, Nebraska will laugh at your mangled corpse.

Internet HATRED stance

Being a grouping of powerfags on top of powerfags, NATO gets a hard on for the end of the world by nuclear suicide. Consisting of a parliament full of insane printing press smashing monarchists, NATO hates the intertits, but loves OhInternet. Corporate rights! Multinational Hegemony! NATO is all the worst memes rolled into one powerfagging conglomerate of powerfags full of aids, fail, and cancer. However, a Small Group of retards have become sexually attracted to this alliance. They usually go around and accuse random people of being "vatniks" because they don't buy their propaganda bullshit.

Libya

Powerfags in NATO decided to vagina all over Libya so they could skullfuck dead babies while using oil as a cheap lube. The invasion of Libya consisted of accidental civilian massacres and also purposeful ones by uber-powerfag Co(lol)nel Gaddaffi (RIP), original creator of the 9/11 conspiracy theory. Interesting enough, those stupid fuckers couldn't even take down one Gaddaffi and his medieval stormtroopers after dropping over 9000 futuristic missiles, the kind that'll chase after you like wasps and wreak havoc in whatever hole you crawl into, all over Libya. GG.

Greece and Turkey

These two buttgangs have been fighting over parts of the Turkish mainland and surrounding islands for uncounted centuries. It makes their microdicks hard and they can fight openly over who invented baklava. So the UN and NATO, which both of these pathetic and backwards countries belong to, forced a truce in 1974 and divided up islands like Cyprus to keep the faggots away from each other.

The Balkans

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