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Kale
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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—The Kale, In all his glory | ||
Kale (aka Karbraxis) is Encyclopedia Dramaticas beloved straight answer to tfo. He also gives ED more money than he actually makes. If you're female (or possibly a male, in some cases) and live within nine hundred and ten kilometres of Germany, the chances are he wants to meet you.
Storytime With Dr_Kale
The stories of Kale have become legendary as time has gone past, and no week is complete without new hijinks coming to light. Please peruse the following at your leisure in order to gain an insight into the legendary man behind the former IRCop. Warning, mind bleach may be required:
<@Dr_Kale> there is was <@Dr_Kale> in killeen texas <@Dr_Kale> drinking and playing card games <@Dr_Kale> when my friend brings out this dildo <@Dr_Kale> http://www.amazon.com/Rascal-Toys-Black-Balled-11/dp/B001SN7TRA/ref=sr_1_56?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1262720965&sr=1-56 <@Dr_Kale> thats the dildo she brings out <@Dr_Kale> and she brings out some boy butter <@Dr_Kale> she lubes it up <@Dr_Kale> her boyfrind comes over <@Dr_Kale> pulls his pants down <Judo-Kun> :-| <&Dr_Sheneequa> :-| <@Dr_Kale> and shoves that thing up his ass <@Dr_Kale> now <@Dr_Kale> thats not the wird part <&Dr_Sheneequa> did you <&Dr_Sheneequa> wash it <&Dr_Sheneequa> before you tried <@Dr_Kale> hold on <Dr_Rice> No he didn't <@Dr_Kale> so he was ramming this dildo up his ass and his girlfriend was sucking him off <@Dr_Kale> his gf was trying to take my pants off and have me fuck her while this as going on <@Dr_Kale> but <@Dr_Kale> that is a massive dildo <@Dr_Kale> and i dont want it anywhere near my ass [...] <@Dr_Kale> so a few drinks later <@Dr_Kale> i tried sticking it up my ass
[~20:16:11~] <@kale_> ok german hooker story time [~20:16:19~] * kale_ is now known as Dr_Kale [~20:16:31~] <@Dr_Kale> i just pcsed to germany [~20:16:33~] <@Dr_Kale> in 08 [~20:16:47~] <@Dr_Kale> and the first city i went to was nuremberg [~20:16:53~] <@Dr_Kale> now im from the country [~20:16:58~] <@Dr_Kale> and not used to big cites [~20:17:04~] <@Dr_Kale> so i was in awe [~20:17:15~] <@Dr_Kale> so i go to the bar and drink [~20:17:22~] <@Dr_Kale> from 9 pm to like 6 am [~20:17:30~] <@Dr_Kale> and i over hear [~20:17:37~] <@Dr_Kale> my buddy saying he was a virgin [~20:17:45~] <@Dr_Kale> now how do you join the army [~20:17:47~] <@Dr_Kale> and be a virgin [~20:17:50~] <@Dr_Kale> i will never know [~20:17:57~] <@Dr_Kale> so we grab him [~20:18:10~] <@Dr_Kale> and go to the redlight district [~20:18:19~] <@Dr_Kale> so we get to the redlight district [~20:18:22~] <@Dr_Kale> and im in awe [~20:18:28~] <@Dr_Kale> women in the windows [~20:18:34~] <@Dr_Kale> wich are hot as fuck [~20:18:47~] <@Dr_Kale> so we all pitch in [~20:18:51~] <@Dr_Kale> and buy him a hooker [~20:19:05~] <@Dr_Kale> im in the whore house wating for my buddy [~20:19:16~] <@Dr_Kale> when a hooker motions me over [~20:19:23~] <@Dr_Kale> so i go over and she wants to see my tattoos [~20:19:30~] <@Dr_Kale> so i show her [~20:19:37~] <@Dr_Kale> when i show her the one on my back [~20:19:44~] <@Dr_Kale> she throws me on the bed [~20:19:48~] <@Dr_Kale> and im all like fuck yea [~20:19:50~] <@Dr_Kale> free sex [~20:19:56~] <@Dr_Kale> now mind you [~20:19:58~] <@Dr_Kale> shes naked [~20:20:02~] <@Dr_Kale> so she jumps on me' [~20:20:11~] <@Dr_Kale> and im thinking germany is the best country in the world [~20:20:27~] <@Dr_Kale> then she pulls out a fucking knife [~20:20:31~] <@Dr_Kale> from where [~20:20:38~] <@Dr_Kale> i dont know to this day [~20:20:48~] <@Dr_Kale> and she puts it to my throat [~20:20:52~] <@Dr_Kale> and she screams [~20:20:56~] <@Dr_Kale> ARE YOU A FUCKING JEW [~20:20:59~] <@Dr_Kale> im confused [~20:21:05~] <@Dr_Kale> she goes [~20:21:14~] <@Dr_Kale> ARE YOU A FUCKING JEW IM GERMAN AND I HATE JEWS [~20:21:30~] <@Dr_Kale> now i thought this point of germanys history is gone [~20:21:35~] <@Dr_Kale> and they accepted jews [~20:21:45~] <@Dr_Kale> but i guess countries can never change [~20:21:55~] <@Dr_Kale> so i tell her what the fuck are you talking about [~20:22:07~] <@Dr_Kale> she goes YOUR TATTOO THATS THE STAR OF DAVID [~20:22:16~] <@Dr_Kale> im confused some more [~20:22:19~] <@Dr_Kale> then i go [~20:22:21~] <@Dr_Kale> ooooh no [~20:22:26~] <@Dr_Kale> mine has 5 points [~20:22:28~] <@Dr_Kale> not 6 [~20:22:33~] <@Dr_Kale> so its not the star of david [~20:22:38~] <@Dr_Kale> she thinks [~20:22:41~] <@Dr_Kale> btw [~20:22:50~] <@Dr_Kale> the knife has never left my throat [~20:23:02~] <@Dr_Kale> so im trying to calm this crazy bitch down [~20:23:19~] <@Dr_Kale> she calls another hooker [~20:23:20~] <@Dr_Kale> in [~20:23:24~] <@Dr_Kale> they talk in german [~20:23:26~] <@Dr_Kale> and she goes [~20:23:30~] <@Dr_Kale> awww poor baby [~20:23:34~] <@Dr_Kale> she puts the knife away [~20:23:40~] <@Dr_Kale> and we procede to have sex [~20:23:42~] <%LYNX> did you get a freebie? [~20:23:45~] <@Dr_Kale> yes [~20:24:06~] <%EDS1> the tattoo that got you laid. [~20:24:16~] <@Dr_Kale> it almost got me killed to
[01:22] <&Sheneequa> we have 6 stories at the tfo page now [01:22] <&Sheneequa> just one more and we can get the chaos emerald!!! [01:23] <&Sheneequa> anyone have a really gay story [01:23] <@Dr_Kale> OMG [01:23] <@Dr_Kale> I DO [01:23] <@Dr_Kale> alright [01:23] <@Dr_Kale> this is the story [01:24] <@Dr_Kale> of how i had a insane dude blow me in a hospitol [01:24] <&Sheneequa> ur lying [01:24] <@Dr_Kale> nope [01:24] <LYNX> bullshit [01:24] <@Dr_Kale> i swear [01:24] <@Dr_Kale> tru story [01:25] <Anemia> omg [01:25] <@Dr_Kale> So I was at Ft.Gordon at the time having just finished school and i was waiting for my orders [01:25] <@Dr_Kale> When i had to go to the Hospitol with a buddy so he an pick up some meds [01:26] <@Dr_Kale> I was in the waiting room when this nurse came out looked at me and said come with me [01:26] <@Dr_Kale> I was like hell yea she was hot and she wanted me [01:26] <@Dr_Kale> so we came this room and this guy was there she said watch him he cant be back here by himself [01:26] <&Sheneequa> hospital btw [01:27] <@Dr_Kale> i was like fuck.... [01:27] <@Dr_Kale> i was like fuck.... [01:27] <@Dr_Kale> so i asked him why cant you be here by yoursef [01:27] <@Dr_Kale> he said i tried to comit suicide yesturday and i attacked a drill sergant [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> i was stunned [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> he changed the subject [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> and we started talking [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> he was a wreck [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> we told me he was confused about everything [01:28] <@Dr_Kale> he* [01:29] <&Sheneequa> so you put your dick in his mouth? [01:29] <@Dr_Kale> hold on damnit [01:29] <@Dr_Kale> I asked him if he ever tried anything with a guy [01:29] <@Dr_Kale> hes like yea i have [01:29] <@Dr_Kale> and i said wanna go up stairs to the bathroom? [01:30] <@Dr_Kale> so we left and he proceded to give me one of the best blowjobs i hav ever had
[14:35] <Dr_Kale> ok [14:36] <Dr_Kale> so i called some friends of mine up from ft campbell and see if they wanted to go out and get drunk [14:36] <Dr_Kale> while they where driving up i found out my cousin moved down from wisconsis [14:36] <Dr_Kale> wisconsin [14:36] <Dr_Kale> she diddnt know anyone so i invited her along [14:37] <Dr_Kale> i was the only guy in a car full of chicks [14:37] <Dr_Kale> 2 of the chicks where pregnant [14:37] <Dr_Kale> and where drinking mad dog like it was water [14:37] <Dr_Kale> i was drinking vodka with my cousin [14:38] <Dr_Kale> so when we get to louisville we party get obliterated [14:38] <Dr_Kale> when we get back to the hotel [14:38] <Dr_Kale> somehow me an my cousin ended up in the same bed [14:38] <Dr_Kale> and she as horny [14:38] <Dr_Kale> was* [14:39] <Dr_Kale> and me being drunk and having struck out at the club [14:39] <Dr_Kale> could do little to resist [14:39] <&Sheneequa> lol [14:39] <Dr_Kale> so i blacked out with her on top of me [14:39] <&Sheneequa> fetal alcohol syndrome [14:39] <Dr_Kale> when i awoke [14:40] <Dr_Kale> we were intertangled [14:40] <Dr_Kale> like we just got done having sex [14:40] <&Sheneequa> did you? [14:41] <Dr_Kale> thats the thing [14:41] <Dr_Kale> i dont remember [14:41] <Dr_Kale> all the signs are pointing to yes [14:41] <Dr_Kale> i dont think i truly want o know [14:45] <Dr_Kale> im sure it would [14:45] <Dr_Kale> but dude i dont want to think that i fucked my cousin
[17:02] <@Dr_Kale> so i was at the bar [17:02] <wit> good call kale [17:02] <@Dr_Kale> drinking pretty heavily [17:02] * Beefcake ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:02] <@Dr_Kale> when the bartender comes up and wants to introduce me to her friend [17:02] <Beefcake> I kid, I kid [17:02] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> mmhmm [17:02] <@Dr_Kale> i look over ans holy fuck [17:02] <@Dr_Kale> shes a cow [17:02] <@Dr_Kale> like seriously fat doesnt even begin to describe her [17:03] <@Dr_Kale> so i drank some more and said fuck it [17:03] <@Dr_Kale> went over to talk to her [17:03] <wit> ill bbl [17:03] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> lol [17:03] <@SSCash> did you harpoon your first whale kale [17:03] <wit> but ill scroll up and finish reading this [17:03] * pennyfarthing ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:04] <@Dr_Kale> so im drinking still and talking to her [17:04] <@Dr_Kale> and said fuck it [17:04] <@Dr_Kale> and started to make out with her [17:04] <@Dr_Kale> she reaches down starts playing with my cock [17:04] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> :o [17:04] <+NOTHALCYON> ... [17:04] <Beefcake> fat girls are always more eager [17:04] <+NOTHALCYON> looool [17:05] <@Dr_Kale> now before i move on [17:05] <@Dr_Kale> she speaks no english [17:05] <@SSCash> LOL [17:05] <+NOTHALCYON> :D [17:05] <@Dr_Kale> keep this in mind [17:05] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> LOL [17:05] <@SSCash> kale i will continue this story after drinking your beers [17:05] * Sheneequa ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:05] * dramacrat sets mode +ao Sheneequa Sheneequa for #forum [17:05] <@Dr_Kale> so we go to her car [17:05] <@Dr_Kale> and we drive behind a gs station [17:05] * FXS ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout ) [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> and we start making out again [17:06] * Dyz ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:06] * dramacrat sets mode +h Dyz for #forum [17:06] <%Dyz> ? [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> she litteraly [17:06] <+NOTHALCYON> :0 [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> tears off my pants [17:06] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> ? [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> like doesnt [17:06] <+NOTHALCYON> HAHAHAAHAH [17:06] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> ffffffffff [17:06] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> bitch hungry [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> unbutton them [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> rips them off [17:06] <+NOTHALCYON> Wow [17:06] <@Dr_Kale> and procedes to blow me [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> now im sitting here getting blown and pissed off that my pants are destroyed [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> so i start to finger her ass [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> i get like 4 fingers in there [17:07] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> unfnnunfgghh finger your ass im so MAD [17:07] <@SSCash> you had no reservations about the ass? [17:07] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> continue [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> she does something like a scream or moan [17:07] <@SSCash> fat chick and all? [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> i dontknow [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> now did care [17:07] <@Dr_Kale> so i turn her over [17:08] <@Dr_Kale> and procede to ram her in the ass as hard as i could [17:08] <@Dr_Kale> shes saying something in german [17:08] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> LOL [17:08] * FXS ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:08] <@Dr_Kale> diddnt understand i was wasted [17:08] <@Dr_Kale> so u pull out and before i say anything [17:08] <@Dr_Kale> she starts to suck me off til i cum [17:08] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> fffffffffff [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> now im like fuck yea [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> AtM [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> lmfaooo a2m [17:09] <Beefcake> was there shit on your dick? [17:09] <+eppigy> FUCK IT [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> i dont know i was wasted [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> anyway [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> so we finish [17:09] * SharpSpoonful ([email protected]) has joined #forum [17:09] * dramacrat sets mode +h SharpSpoonful for #forum [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> i go back into thebar [17:09] <+NOTHALCYON> kk [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> fuck sharp, your late [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> her friend tells me shes a virgin [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> greatest story ever [17:09] <%SharpSpoonful> WAT [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> omfg [17:09] <%SharpSpoonful> ? [17:09] <@SSCash> LOL [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> dr_kale rammed a fattie in the ass [17:09] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> is all rly [17:09] <@Dr_Kale> and i start to laugh my ass off [17:10] <@Dr_Kale> i go home and pass out [17:10] <+NOTHALCYON> loooool [17:10] <&Sheneequa> did your dick feel like it had corn syrup on it [17:10] <+NOTHALCYON> :0 [17:10] <@Dr_Kale> when i awoke the next morning [17:10] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> ffffff [17:10] <@Dr_Kale> i thought i had my dick cut off [17:10] <%SharpSpoonful> LOLWUT [17:10] <%Hugo_Stiglitz> LOL [17:10] <+NOTHALCYON> WUT [17:10] <@Dr_Kale> there was blood every where [17:10] <+NOTHALCYON> HAHA [17:10] <%SharpSpoonful> WAT [17:10] <%SharpSpoonful> AHAHAHA [17:10] <%Marukomuru> lol [17:10] <%SharpSpoonful> YOU HAVE AIDS [17:10] <@Dr_Kale> like seriously i thought i was a victum of rape
<@kale_> i have had a chick stick her finger in my ass while blowing me <@kale_> i liked it <@tamara_> i won't use my finger bb <@Pory> That image is slightly creepy. * TrainOfThought ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: ([anonymuncle.irc] Local kill by kale_ (I just don't like you.)�) * TrainOfThought ([email protected]) has joined #forum <@kale_> well i have had a 10 inch dildo <%Teckie> you're slightly creepy for looking at it <@kale_> in my ass
[03:23] <~Dr_Kale> ok so i was at a party [03:23] <~Dr_Kale> drinking the fuck out of everclear [03:23] <~Dr_Kale> and my gf at the time had scoliosis [03:23] <~Dr_Kale> and had metal bars in her back [03:23] <~Dr_Kale> and i had a chick i was fucking on the side who was chubby [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> somehow they came to the same party [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> at the same time [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> i was like oh fuck [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> they both came over [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> and started to make out with me [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> i was confused [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> but i was like fuck it [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> and went with it [03:24] <~Dr_Kale> so i was makeing out wit my gf and the fat chick was blowing me [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> i started to fuck my gf whike she ate out the fat chick [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> wich btw [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> was fucking gross as shit [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> my gf was like 90 pounds 5 [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> 6 [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> she was [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> 5'4 [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> almost 200 [03:25] <~Dr_Kale> really fucking gross [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> so anyway [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> i started to fuck my gf in the as [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> and the fat chick was licking my ass [03:26] <@dlb> tongue diving for plums [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> so i came in her ass [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> pulled out [03:26] <~Dr_Kale> and the fat chick starts to make out with my gf [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> right after licking my ass [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> i almosted puked [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> but said fuckit [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> and started to fuck the fat chick in the ass [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> they pushed me off [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> and started to both blow me [03:27] <~Dr_Kale> now [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> my dick has been in 2 asses at this point [03:28] <@Sheneequa> you had more sex after cumming [03:28] <@Sheneequa> is this hentai [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> and they are slobbing all over it [03:28] <@tamara> it's penthouse letters [03:28] <@Sheneequa> this is hentai [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> shen im druink by this point [03:28] <@tamara> DEAR PENTHOUSE [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> i can goo forever drunk [03:28] <@Sheneequa> that should mean your dick goes down faster [03:28] <@tamara> KALE NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM BUT............................. [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> and cum multiple times [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> tam will beable to attest to this in a few weeks [03:28] <~Dr_Kale> any way [03:29] <~Dr_Kale> so they reach up to kiss me [03:29] <~Dr_Kale> i i scream [03:29] <~Dr_Kale> FUCK NO YOU NASTY BITCHES [03:29] <~Dr_Kale> and i procede to leave them and go back to drinking
[02:58] <&Sheneequa> kale_: today's story topic is [02:58] <&Sheneequa> animals [02:59] <@kale_> i have a really awesome story involving me and a horse [02:59] <@kale_> but [02:59] <@kale_> no [02:59] <@kale_> thats one story [02:59] <@kale_> i will not tell [02:59] <@kale_> im really gonna hate my self [02:59] <@kale_> oh god [02:59] <@kale_> fuck... [02:59] * kale_ is now known as Dr_kale [03:00] <@Dr_kale> ..... [03:00] <@Dr_kale> heres goes [03:00] <@Dr_kale> one min i need a beer [03:01] <@Dr_kale> ok [03:01] <@Dr_kale> here goes [03:01] <@Dr_kale> so [03:01] <@Dr_kale> when i was 12 [03:01] <@Dr_kale> i just moved out of the trailor park and into the country [03:01] <@Dr_kale> an [03:02] <@Dr_kale> it was nice not seing naked babies roaming the streets asking for food [03:02] <@Dr_kale> so i was just getting started to be curious about sex [03:02] <@Dr_kale> fapping furiously [03:02] <@Dr_kale> all the time [03:03] <@Dr_kale> so up the hill in the woods there where these horses [03:03] <@Dr_kale> a male and a female [03:03] <@Dr_kale> one night [03:03] <@Dr_kale> no bull shit [03:03] <@Dr_kale> i went into the stall with the female horse [03:04] <@Dr_kale> so while i was in the stall with the female horse [03:05] <@Dr_kale> i got behind it [03:05] <@Dr_kale> and i was rubbing its pussy [03:05] <@Dr_kale> mind you [03:05] <@Dr_kale> first pussy i have ever felt [03:05] <@Dr_kale> i was like this is weird [03:05] <@Dr_kale> and i got a wood stump [03:05] <@Dr_kale> and i started to fuck this horse [03:06] <@Dr_kale> now me being 12 [03:06] <@Dr_kale> i diddnt last long [03:07] <@Dr_kale> so yea [03:07] <@Dr_kale> i fucked a horse when i was 12
01:10:48 <+kale_> how bout the time i got a bj in a gay fetish bar? 01:11:08 <+kale_> ok 01:11:17 <+kale_> so i was wondering around nurnberg drunk off my ass 01:11:28 <+kale_> and i found this bar i never been to 01:11:51 <+kale_> i walk in and notice the tvs are playing harcore gay porn 01:12:02 <+kale_> like dudes fucking pizza dough 01:12:08 <+kale_> people taking shits on eachother 01:12:23 <+kale_> im like woa so i finnally find a german club 01:12:32 <+kale_> so i walk to the bar and order me a drink 01:12:44 <+kale_> and surprisingly the drinks are really good 01:12:59 <+kale_> so i went to the bathroom 01:13:18 <+kale_> and this dude next to me is staring at my dick and beating off 01:13:52 <+kale_> he then out of no were grabs my dick and starts to blow me 01:14:03 <+kale_> i was at first freaked out a dude is blowing me 01:14:06 <+kale_> but i said fuck it 01:14:13 <+kale_> and let him work his magic 01:14:23 <+kale_> then this other guy walks in 01:14:31 <+kale_> and starts to make out with m 01:14:32 <+kale_> e 01:14:43 <+kale_> i was like well i have a dude sucking my dick 01:14:58 <+kale_> no point in stopping this guy 01:15:09 <+kale_> so this went on for like 30 mins 01:15:16 <+kale_> i came all over this dudes face 01:15:21 <+kale_> i went up stares 01:15:26 <+kale_> and continued drinking 01:16:08 * kale_ bows
kale_: you know • Uccellina tackles kale_ kale_: what the problems of conspiracy theories are? Uccellina: i don't know kale_: the more you get involved WarDriver: this sounds interesting kale_: and the more you research them kale_: the more you realise WarDriver: ... WarDriver: . . . goodo: He passed out WarDriver: . . . Uccellina: they got him. oh dear god they captured kale_ WarDriver: or the conspiracy got to him WarDriver: yeah kale_: the more you relaise kale_: realise kale_: that kale_: every thing WarDriver: OMG OMG OMG NOW THEY ARE TYPING FOR HIM kale_: is a lie WarDriver: its a conspiracy goodo: TRAITOR 10:27 PM kale_: you dont know if what your reading kale_: is just misdrictions kale_: by the man kale_: so DDshoeshowz left the room. (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client) kale_: the reson why i stopped reading conspiracies for so long Uccellina: We need to ask him a question that only the real Kale_ would know kale_: is i was losing my mind goodo: Believing it more doesnt make it any more true kale_: and diddnt know what was real Atomic_Joe joined the room. Atomic_Joe was promoted to half-operator by ChanServ. kale_: and diddnt know who i could trust goodo: It could be fake and convincing kale_: like seriously Atomic_Joe: MOTHERFUCKING WOO DEE DOO DOO kale_: the more you delve into it kale_: the more you cant know what the truth is kale_: for it will be all muddled and shady Atomic_Joe: Trust no one Atomic_Joe: Take everyone for what they are worth WarDriver: shit Atomic_Joe: And cast them aside, or they will do it to you first kale_: so what im trying to get at is kale_: im delving back kale_: into it kale_: again kale_: im going back into the brink WarDriver: u gonna go mad Uccellina: we'll back you up kale_. goodo: Life is a conspiracy kale_: well my point is goodo: None of us are real kale_: if i dissapear kale_: or start to act wierd Atomic_Joe: Kale has my mettle behind him 10:30 PM kale_: they got me WarDriver: scary... Atomic_Joe: Every step of the way kale_: i have for a long time suspected kale_: that the government was looking for a reason to bust me kale_: when i was younger kale_: so i joined the army and stopped kale_: to thro them off kale_: but now kale_: i cant take it Atomic_Joe: They want us kale_: the quest for truth must continue Atomic_Joe: I know they do kale_: after what i seen overseas WarDriver: they are enemyz of teh lulz kale_: IT MUST CONTINUE goodo: You go kale kale_: the truth must be brought forward Atomic_Joe: EVERYTHING must be put on the table kale_: im delving back into it with reckless abandon
Kale: The Man With The Power
Kale is one of the many people who are hugely enthusiastic about ED. Of course, enthusiasm is a virtue but like everything, it is what you do with it that counts. Kale chooses to show his love by living on IRC, modding the forums, stealing the hearts of every female member of ED, and handing out righteous op abuse whilst doing so. What makes Kale so special is that he has both the tendency to go mad with power, and actual power. On IRC he is able to, op, de-op, kick, ban and as of recently, k-line and g-line. When he is on the forums, he can fag-tag those whom he chooses worthy. With great power comes great responsibility, and Kale simply does not give a fuck. Faggots, it is dangerous times up in this bitch.
Kale has many roles on ED, not just those named above. He can at any time also be found partaking in the following designated activities:
- ABUSE
- Drinking too much.
- Drinking too much while using IRC.
- Drinking too much while on the forums.
- Drinking too much while using Skype.
- Asking what cum tastes like
- Donating too much to ED.
- Posting awkward stories.
- Kicking and banning
- Hating ED's token shota
- Stealing all of the girls on IRC
Kale's Skillz
Kale joined and made his first edit on January 18th, 2010. His first edit was saving an IRC chat log to his userpage which was then moved to the userspace by Sheneequa. Needless to say, Kale spent more time being drunk and stealing girls on IRC during that time. Then the Truth Portal was birthed and cared for by Novus Ordo Seclorum a few days later. After Kale learned of its existence, he was eager to edit and create pages on conspiracy theories, since Kale is, after all, a conspiracy cunt. Moreover, Kale desires to win an award for his hard efforts on ED. Those awards being the A Plus Newbie Award, the prize given to the best newbie that joined that month, and the grand Vox Dramatica prize, the award given to any user who has showed tireless and well-made effort in their works.
He then began his first project on HAARP utilizing the talk page of his log. However, Kale was drinking that day (not a surprise) and he wasted a good twelve hours. The only thing he has produced in that half-day was a single paragraph. That’s right; a paragraph. Not only that, it was copy and pasted from the Wikipedia article. When Raspberry Rush gave it a thumbs up and moved it to the mainspace, Killhamster came in and gave the article a makeover, earning it a spot on the AON list.
Kale’s next task on ED was sorting out the people category. During that task, Kale has made over one hundred edits in a span of almost two days. Surprisingly, his edits weren’t enough to spam recent changes, therefore Kale wasn’t even touched by MysteryBot. His next project was another article that was on the truth portal’s needed list, and that article was MK ULTRA. Unlike his first article, Kale spent dedicated more time and effort into this article and it surely paid off.
Achievements and Notability
Kale broke his foot in April 2010 and was forced to undergo surgery, he was a very brave boy throughout the whole ordeal and the entire wiki mourned his loss for the 2 days he was out of action. The newest of his three assistants, Zedcat changed the sitenotice in order to instruct the masses that love was required on his talkpage. Literally tens of people obliged.
Come the end of April, as always there were few worthy of being crowned User of The Month. D-Malice, resident forum bitch, was on track for a dose of the VD, while Zedcat was a shoe in for APNA for the same reason Ntg85 did. In a never before seen split vote in the thorough selection process, Kale was found to be as deserving as our hefty Mexican friend and split the coveted Vox Dramatica prize. Finally his sex stories, vast monetary donations and unforgettable self g-lines had been officially recognised, and he could return to his position of drunken IRC pussy magnet with his head held high.
—ED IRC, April 20, 2010. |
Fun Facts and Hijinks
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- Kale is a conspiracy cunt.
- He is a member of Above Top Secret.
- Therefore naturally his favorite portal on ED is the Truth Portal.
- It took Kale 12 hours to write a single paragraph on ED.
- So far, Kale has donated more than $3000 to ED.
- He even paid $100US to ban SSCash from the ED Forums.
- Has every shirt from the Lollershop.
- Kale is not gay.
- Proof being that he loves the incredibly fabulous game, Robot Unicorn Attack.
- The time he sucked off a dude doesn't count.
- Proof being that he loves the incredibly fabulous game, Robot Unicorn Attack.
- Due to his heavy consumption of alcohol, children should stay away from him.
- Although women should get as near to him as is physically possible.
- Kale has made a record on IRC for banning fifty people in one night.
- Kale hails Satan daily.
- Kale had sex in four different countries.
- Kale even dreams about using IRC. Sad, indeed.
- His assistants on ED are Snaisybelle, Thayo and Zedcat.
- He is just that special.
- Kale g-lined himself once while making a scene by fighting with his own sockpuppet.
- Kale is also known for constantly spamming the Hamburger Time video on IRC.
- Kale even pissed off ODB by vandalizing [1] one of his articles.
- ODB got his revenge by locking his userpage.
- Kale has a mad (totally not gay) bromance with drunkenlazybastard's fiance.
Love for Kale
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Phun Phacts about Kale
See also
- Sex Portal - He actually owns this.
- ED Forums
- ED IRC
- K-line - Not just a nickname
- Military
- Tfo
His Writings
External Links
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Kale
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Kale is part of a series on |
Please visit the IRC PORTAL for more
ASCII • Abducted IRC • Alan Sullivan • AnonNet • AnonOps • Anthrochat • Aol.pl • Austnet • Axila • BLACK MAN • Banbot • Bantown • Bonzi_b • BonziWORLD • Bookz • Boten Anna • Botnet • Buttes |
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Kale is part of a series on Chat Logs
[copypasta]
| Logs by Person |
1guy1jar Interview • Alex Wuori • Boxxy • Bravesgirl5 • ChibaQ • Crossmack • Cyndre • DangerDan • DJ Skeptik • Djdlikesxbox • Duke Otterland • EmiNet • James Cordone • Jimbo Wales • John Field • JuggaletteJenny • Kazantzakis • Laurelai • LittleCloud • Mark Foley • Mikevirus • Neo • Skype Con Leaks • Tablecow • Typhon • Werdna |
| Related Topics |
IRC • Bash.org • Get on irc fgt • Gay.pl • Irssi • QuoteBucket.org |
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Kale is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article November 13, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Military Wives |
Kale | Succeeded by tfo |
