IRC CASE STUDY: Andres
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IRC CASE STUDY: ``Andres'': __ __ /..\ /| |'-. OH WOW .\_O/ || | | _ / `._ \|_|_.-' AN IRC CLIENT WITH HUNDREDS OF USELESS UNNECESSARY | / \__.`=._) (_ FULLY-CUSTOMIZABLE SETTINGS THAT MAKE INSIGNIFICANT |/ ._/ |"""""""""| CHANGES TO FULLY ENHANCE MY PRECIOUS IRC EXPERIENCE? |'. `\ | | ;"""/ / | | LET ME IN ) /_/| |.-------.| ON THIS ' `-`' " " Andres ..::// Index \\::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: : : : (1) The following prose contains adult content and may not be : :.... suitable for some children. Viewer discretion is advised. : : This is the story of Andres. : : : : (2) The paradigmatic structure of Andres' personality. : ::: (3) Prologue: "Shots Fired! Shots Fired!" : : (4) Chapter 1: A Cry for Help. : (5) Chapter 2: The Return of Diego Grez. : (?) What others have to say about him. : (?) In conclusion. : (?) Diagnosis. : : Last updated: 20130106 22:48:34 GMT .:: ..................................................................:::: /****************************************************************************** * This is the story of Andres. * ******************************************************************************/ /****************************************************************************** * The paradigmatic structure of Andres' personality. * ******************************************************************************/ The following is a depiction of how Andres sees himself: , __ _.-"` `'-. YES HELLO I AM ANDRES YOUR BELOVED AND BENEVOLENT IRC DICTATOR. /||\'._ __{}_( LADIES! DECIDE AMONGST YOURSELVES WHO THE HONOR OF REMOVING THE |||| |'--.__\ SHIRT CLINGING TO MY BODY, SO YOU ALL MAY HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO | L.( ^_\^ WORSHIP THE TEMPLE KNOWN AS MY BODY, WHICH HATH BEEN CRAFTED BY \ .-' | _ | HEPHAESTUS HIMSELF. WHILE YOU DECIDE THIS AMONGST YOURSELVES, I | | )\___/ SHALL BE IN MY PRIVATE JET DECIDING WHICH IRC SETTINGS TO TWEAK | \-'`:._] TODAY, SO THAT I MAY PERSONALLY CRAFT FOR YOU THE AWARD-WINNING \__/; '-. CHATTING EXPERIENCE THAT YOU HAVE COME TO RELY ON ME TO NURTURE YOUR VERY SOUL USING. I WILL SIGN AUTOGRAPHS FOR THE NEXT HOUR. The following is a depiction of how others see Andres: , _ OH BOY! IS IT TIME TO CHANGE ANOTHER TINY SETTING IN IRSSI )\ __`9) AGAIN ALREADY? I WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO SPEND THE _,/^`^(G)-' < REST OF MY LIFE READING MIND-NUMBING DOCUMENTATION UNTIL I \(\a a ) / ) EXPIRE OF STARVATION OR MY HEART GIVES OUT FROM ALL OF THE `(v__/` ,_ (_, ) EXCITEMENT! MAYBE I COULD CHANGE A FONT OR COLOR THIS TIME `U) _,) )-(_/ (_/ (_/ BY THE WAY I SHIT ON YOUR RUG! SORRY! I GOT EXCITED AGAIN! The following is a depiction of Andres demanding operator status: (n.b.: Andres' grasp of the English language is prone to slipping when upset.) _.. .' `", Please trust me, this time I will really not ; \ get you down. Please. I pray to you. I swear .---._; ^, ; to you. You are my God. I love you. .-' ;{ : \ /; .--"" \*' o/ o/ Oh my god, what more can I do. I need to fix / , / : _`"; the problems with this IRC by changing a few ; \; `. ''"+' settings. Trust me. Please I beg of you. | } / _.'T"'-"\ : / .'.--""-,_ \ ; I read the documentation. I know what to do. \ / /_ `,\ ; I really need to comeback, tweaking ircds is : / / `-.,_ \`. : the best thing I've ever found on the net, I |; { .' `- ; `, \ need a space to show everybody my knowledge. : \ `; { `-,__..-' \ `}+=, : \ ; `. `, `-,\" ! |\ `; \}?\|} Why you don't say something about this? Your .-' | \ ; making omiss case of this. Answer this. Pls. .'}/ i.' \ `, ``''-' / \ Please think me well I'm really trying to be /J|/{/ changed. Please give me the last of chances. `' ` I just want to fix my IRC. Help me. (crying) /****************************************************************************** * PROLOGUE - IN WHICH THE ACTION(S) OF INTEREST ARE SET INTO MOTION. * * (N.B.: THE ACTIONS OF THE PREVIOUS NIGHT ARE LIKELY BEST SUMMARIZED BY THE * * FOLLOWING VISUAL WORK OF ART FOUND AT <http://youtu.be/eeW5CzUnPEg> * ******************************************************************************/ 12:01:24 <@Edenkips> soli: I demand o-lines for cutepin & me 12:01:39 <@Edenkips> WE WILL NOT _ABUSE_ SERVICES 12:05:06 <@flun> kill services on first day of haing ops 12:05:14 <@Edenkips> SOUNDS GREAT 12:05:18 <@LiteralKa> protip: /msg operserv shutdown 12:05:29 <<< emoquit/#dongforce([email protected])(shutting down) 12:05:34 <@LiteralKa> like that :) 12:05:45 <@Andres> why the fuck 12:05:47 <@Andres> is he asking 12:05:49 <@Andres> for olines 12:05:50 <@Andres> to the one 12:05:53 <@Andres> that has nothing to do 12:05:55 <@Andres> with maractus 12:05:57 <@Andres> fucking faggot 12:05:59 <@Andres> kill yourself 12:06:00 <@Andres> seriously 12:06:07 <<< emoquit/#dongforce([email protected])(Killed (Andres (<No reason given>))) 12:06:43 >>> join/#dongforce ([email protected]) 12:07:28 <@Edenkips> Imo LiteralKa and Andres should have a dong fence match _ _.,----, YES HELLO I'M ANDRES "PROF. IRC" RODRIGUEZ. __ _.-._ / '-. - ,._ \) YOU MIGHT ALSO KNOW ME AS *THE* IRC WIZARD. | `-)_ '-. \ / < _ )/" } /___ '-. \ '-, ___(c-(@)=(@) YOU MAY BE FAMILIAR WITH THE IMPROVEMENTS I , '. -._ '. _,' >\ " ) MADE TO THIS VERY IRC SERVER. IF NOT I WILL :;;,,'-._ '---' ( ( "/`. -='/ CEASELESSLY BLOG ABOUT THEM INTO THE WINDOW ;:;;:;;, \._ .`-.)Y'- '--' OF YOUR IRC CLIENT UNTIL THE END OF TIME! ;';:;;;;;'-._ /'._| |// _/' \ '''"._ F | _/ _.'._ `\ I AM THE SOLE RULER OF YOUR IRC EXPERIENCE. L \ \/ '._ \ EVERY TWEAK I MAKE TO THE IRC SERVER IS BUT .-,-,_ | `. `'---, \_ _| ANOTHER LAW ADDED TO MY COMMAND OF IRC. // '| / \, ("--',=`)7 | `._ : _, \ /'`-._\,_'-._ BUT I AM ALSO A MAN. '--' '-.\__/ _L .`' '.// IF YOU PRICK ME DO I NOT BLEED? [ ( / ) `{ \__) /****************************************************************************** * PART 1 - IN WHICH THE DRAMATIC SCENARIO IS MADE APPARENT * * AND IN WHICH ANDRES' FATHER SEEKS TO HELP EASE HIS SON'S PAIN * ******************************************************************************/ 12:07:28 <@Edenkips> Imo LiteralKa and Andres should have a dong fence match 12:07:52 <@Andres> no because LiteralKa is a pipe dancer 12:08:40 <@LiteralKa> thats just frotting, lol 12:09:56 <@Edenkips> http://gayteens.about.com/od/questions/f/Losing-Virginity-From-Frotting.htm 12:09:57 <@wiseau> Title: Does Frotting Count as Sex - Can You Lose Virginity if You Frot? @ gayteens.about.com 12:10:01 <@Andres> lol 12:10:14 <+Dr_Rice> i would say yes 12:10:19 <@LiteralKa> lol 12:10:20 <@Andres> gayteens.about.com 12:10:21 <@Andres> gayteens.about.com 12:10:22 <@Andres> gayteens.about.com 12:10:22 <@Andres> gayteens.about.com 12:10:34 <@LiteralKa> andres 12:10:37 <@LiteralKa> is that a cry for help 12:10:41 <@Andres> lolno 12:10:53 <@Andres> you are the one that does not want to fuck kitties irl 12:11:45 <@LiteralKa> Andres: do you want to fuck kitties irl 12:11:53 <@Andres> no comment 12:12:09 <@LiteralKa> Andres: do u have a crush on kitties 12:12:11 <@LiteralKa> its okay, i wont tell ;] 12:12:15 <@LiteralKa> scouts honor 12:12:19 <@Andres> no comment 12:12:27 <@flun> loool 12:12:40 <@LiteralKa> damn son 12:12:52 <@LiteralKa> thats rough ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, ANDRES, THIS MAN IS YOUR FATHER )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// <-- DAD WANTS TO HELP YOU IN ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ YOUR TIME OF NEED / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" WE CARE ABOUT YOU ANDRES ( < _' DON'T LET THIS DESTROY YOU MAN | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ /____\__\ /****************************************************************************** * PART 2 - IN WHICH OUR HERO PROVES THAT THE HUMAN SPIRIT IS THE ONLY THING * * REQUIRED TO BE A TRUE PSYCHIATRIST. * * - NOT ONLY IN WHICH THE RESPECTIVE SIDEPLOT IS THE GOOD DOCTOR'S * * (OUR HERO'S) IGNORING THE FACT THAT EDENKIPS WISHES HE HAD BEEN * * MOLESTED... * * - BUT ALSO IN WHICH OUR DEAR FRIEND ANDRES CHANNELS THE NOTORIOUS * * WIKIPEDIA EDITOR, FELLOW CHILEAN HISTORY ENTHUSIAST, AND RUINED * * SHELL OF A MAN DIEGO GREZ. * ****************************************************************************** * THIS RESULTS IN A SÉANCE IN WHICH OUR FRIEND CHANNELS DIEGO GREZ' * * KNOWLEDGE OF THE BOY SCOUTS, ARISING FROM HIS HAVING WRITTEN * * THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE ON THE BOY SCOUTS. * * * * '-. * * '-. _____ * * __ | '. * * /@@\ | : EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT BOY SCOUTS * * \_0/ | .-' I LEARNED FROM THE HISTORY CHANNEL * * / \ .')--( * * / \ .-'_/____\___ * * .-' : : * ******************************************************************************/ 12:13:56 <@Edenkips> LiteralKa: Were you in the boys scout? 12:15:08 <@LiteralKa> Edenkips: until my father died yeah 12:15:25 <@Andres> in 9/11 12:16:19 <@LiteralKa> Andres: yes thx for spelling it out 12:16:42 <@Edenkips> I was a little bastard 12:16:48 <@Edenkips> Fooled around a lot 12:16:59 <@Andres> im a scout 12:17:18 <@Andres> but scouts in the rest of the world aren't like the american tards one 12:17:29 <@Edenkips> I wished I was molested 12:17:29 <@Andres> BOY SCOOT TROOP ETC LOL COLLECT THEM ALL SHITS 12:17:32 <@Andres> fuck you. seriously. fuck your country. you actually give the scouts a bad image 12:17:49 <@Edenkips> Chile is shitty. Fuck you and your country. 12:17:57 <@Andres> chile was the second country on having b.p's boy scouts after england 12:18:14 <@Edenkips> To become a second world country or even third 12:18:15 <@flun> both england and chile are shit 12:18:20 <@Andres> lol america is shit 12:18:30 <@LiteralKa> how would u know. u live in the 3rd world, son 12:18:31 <@flun> ya, but better than chile 12:18:41 <@Andres> LiteralKa, i travel 12:18:49 <@LiteralKa> Andres: but have you lived there? 12:18:49 <@flun> Andres, where in usa have you been 12:18:58 <@Andres> flun, FL 12:19:04 <@flun> fl is shit 12:19:06 <+Dr_Rice> Florida doesn't count 12:19:08 <@LiteralKa> Andres, where in usa have you lived 12:19:13 <@Andres> not lived 12:19:26 <@LiteralKa> america is awesome if ur white 12:19:32 <@Andres> like, i still have my us visa for 10 years 12:19:40 <@Andres> agreed 12:19:42 <@Andres> im white 12:19:44 <@Andres> I HAVE A VISA AND YOU DON'T BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN'T AMERICAN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A VISA 12:19:46 <@LiteralKa> not white enough 12:20:00 <@Andres> BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE FUCKED UO 12:20:08 <@Andres> BUT I HAVE ONE FOR TEN YEARS 12:20:10 <@LiteralKa> Andres: are u mad about kitties 12:20:11 <@Andres> TEN MORE YEARS 12:20:15 <@Andres> no comment 12:20:21 <@LiteralKa> you sure man? 12:20:22 <@Andres> no comment 12:20:25 <@Andres> no comment 12:20:26 <@LiteralKa> i can understand if u are 12:20:27 <@Andres> no comment 12:20:28 <@Andres> no comment 12:20:29 <@Andres> no comment 12:21:02 <@LiteralKa> Andres: i'd be mad too bro 12:22:04 <@flun> Andres, can a brother couch surf in your mexican hellhole 12:22:35 <@flun> i will show you how to talk to girls 12:22:43 <@Andres> i do talk with them 12:22:46 <@Andres> im not beefcake /****************************************************************************** * What others have to say about him. * ******************************************************************************/ PROMPT: 18:25:44 <LiteralKa> what is ur opinion of andres 18:25:48 <LiteralKa> like, if u could say one thing about him what would it be 18:28:37 <[REDACTED]> ocd. he is sooooo ocd 18:29:50 <[REDACTED]> rude but caring 18:30:14 <[REDACTED]> hes also very condescending /****************************************************************************** * In conclusion: * ******************************************************************************/ /****************************************************************************** * Diagnosis: * ******************************************************************************/ .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Attached inline are some recent chat logs from the past several months | | as further evidence of Andres' unstable mental condition. | '----------------------------------------------------------------------------' Evidence behind [sexual compulsion and sick fetishes]: 14:00:05 <@Andres> LiteralKa, 14:00:09 <@LiteralKa> what 14:00:10 <@Andres> what features should i include 14:00:13 <@Andres> in wiseau 14:00:24 <@Andres> im out of ideas 14:00:26 <@LiteralKa> a feature that disables the titlebot feature 14:00:33 <@LiteralKa> what about an etymology checker 14:00:38 <@LiteralKa> for etymonline.com 14:00:39 <@Andres> lol 14:00:48 <@Andres> ok 14:00:49 <@Andres> more 14:00:51 <@LiteralKa> thats something i use all the time 14:01:15 <@Andres> more 14:02:13 <@Andres> LiteralKa, 14:02:17 <@Andres> more suggestions 14:02:20 <@LiteralKa> lol 14:02:25 <@LiteralKa> are you getting off on this 14:02:28 <@LiteralKa> or something 14:02:38 <@Andres> lol 14:02:40 <@Andres> why 14:02:41 <@LiteralKa> srsly 14:02:47 <@LiteralKa> you're going 14:02:47 <@LiteralKa> MORE 14:02:47 <@Andres> i just want to include more features 14:02:48 <@LiteralKa> MORE 14:02:49 <@LiteralKa> MORE LEON 14:02:50 <@LiteralKa> YES MORE 14:02:51 <@LiteralKa> MORE 14:02:52 <@LiteralKa> MORE 14:03:02 <@LiteralKa> kid just rub it out already Evidence behind OCD diagnosis: 14:29:00 [Maractus] !dongcentral.maract.us *** Notice -- ERROR :from wos.maract.us -- Closing Link: 127.0.0.1 (Invalid credentials.) 14:43:51 <@LiteralKa> Andres: ru tweaking 14:43:58 <@Andres> yes
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