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{{corner|br|[[Image:Frick4.png|125px|link=]]}}
 
{{cleaning}}
<div style="pointer-events:none">{{watch|[[File:SCSF head exploitable.png|80px]]}}</div>
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{{center|<youtube>H5d42w4ZcY4</youtube>}}
 
{{Infobox person
|image = Flapping fricks.gif
|nationality = [[American]]
|gender = Male
|birthday = Oct 31, 1998
|occupation = [[YouTuber]]
|years active = 2013-present
|powerword = Ethan Samuel Thomas
|website = [https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSammyClassicSonicFanArchive/featured JewTube (archive)]<br>[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYyPMVDljrHbUEAjrxNJKPA JewTube (new channel)]}}
[[Image:SCSFmay2014.jpg|thumb|150px|Sammy, as of May 2014]]
[[Image:SCSFmay2014.jpg|thumb|150px|Sammy, as of May 2014]]
[[Image:Sammytrap.jpg|thumb|150px|What Sammy will [[Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome|be]] in a few years]]
[[Image:Make_sonic_great_again.PNG|thumb|150px|What [[The Donald|really]] happened]]
[[Image:Proof that SammyClassicSonicFan is not 15.png|thumb|150px|Proof that he's not 15: Dangerously underweight, arms looking like toothpricks with no muscles to be found, torso painfully thin with no body fat or visible ribs...]]
[[Image:Proof that SammyClassicSonicFan is not 15.png|thumb|150px|Proof that he's not 15: Dangerously underweight, arms looking like toothpricks with no muscles to be found, torso painfully thin with no body fat or visible ribs...]]
{{quote|He's a young [[Lie|teenage]] [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|legend]] and the world's [[Basement dweller|most dedicated Nintendo geek]]!|SammyClassicSonicFan|[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|describing himself]].}}
{{quote|He's a young [[Lie|teenage]] [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|legend]] and the world's [[Basement dweller|most dedicated Nintendo geek]]!|SammyClassicSonicFan|[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|describing himself]].}}
[[image:scsf kornheiser.jpg|thumb|150px|[[why.jpg|frick]]]]
[[image:scsf kornheiser.jpg|thumb|150px|[[fail|frick]]]]
'''SammyClassicSonicFan''' ('''[[Powerword|Ethan Samuel Thomas]]'''), also known as ''SammyTanookiGamer'', ''[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN3N6_fDQQUPtAtIv6Stq8Q?feature=watch SnoopyFlyingAce64]'' and ''[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdv0U6ZWLX2PdBAm8petp0g/featured SammyPaperMarioFan]'', sets as a good prime example of why little kids should not be allowed to have an internet connection. He's the 10-year-old boy full of [[Aspergers]], bad parenting, Sonic and USI. He is one of the angriest children on [[YouTube]] and is an underrated [[lolcow]]. He is a hardcore [[Sonic]] fanboy (duh), he believes that platformers are the best [[video game]] genre, and his favorite franchise of all time is Mario, [[retarded|contrary to what his name would suggest]]. He thinks that just because one of his retarded expressions he invented [https://plus.google.com/+SCSFProductions/posts/QjFGSPGXCFJ is on Urban Dictionary], [[USI|he think he is hotshit and deserve the outmost respect imaginable.]]
 
 
Somehow he acquired a camera, and like every [[kid]] who [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|thinks his opinions matter]], he has to share them with all the other people in the world, who are only watching his videos for their own amusement. He claims being 15 years old despite looking and sounding like a 10-year old. However, [[:File:Sammy_isn't_lying.png|he may not be lying]], holy fucking shit.
 
He spends all his days, weeks and months playing video games. He has so much free time on his hands because he’s [[Special Education|online schooled]], which makes him [[USI|"smarter than any other kids his age"]]. This explains how he has next to zero social skills, and when a kid talks about [[Call of Duty|Cowadooty]] he will just cry and run away, and come back with his sword he made himself out of sticks he found in the backyard and duct tape <s>and beat the shit out of the kid with it</s> (Oh no he won’t, even [[Chris-chan]] could easily beat him).


Sammy has slowly become less relevant, while still keeping a YouTube channel where he [[Doing it right|doesn't shout and cry over other people's stupid opinions]]. Some people still follow him, hoping that he'll rage in his videos again like the good old times.
'''SammyClassicSonicFan''' (also known as '''SammyTanookiGamer''', '''<span class="plainlinks">[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN3N6_fDQQUPtAtIv6Stq8Q?feature=watch SnoopyFlyingAce64]</span>''', and '''<span class="plainlinks">[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdv0U6ZWLX2PdBAm8petp0g/featured SammyPaperMarioFan]</span>''') is a severely autistic {{age|1998|10|31}}-year old (he used to be a [[retarded]] kid back then) from [[Indiana]] who makes JewTube videos ranting about the most retarded shit ever, and is severely infected with high amounts of [[assburgers]], [[USI]] and shows a tremendous amount of bad parenting through his spergy behavior on JewTube. Sammy sets a perfect example as to why little kids should not be allowed Internet access. Somehow, he acquired a camera, and like every little [[kid]] who thinks his opinions matter, he feels the need to share his stupid opinions about [[Sonic]], or some other gay [[shit that nobody cares about]] to everyone on JewTube. Sammy also claims that he is 15 years old, despite his voice sounding as squeaky as wet shoes on a wooden floor, and looks like he's 9 years old. He thinks his opinions matter to the rest of the Interwebz, when in reality nobody gives a shit about him or his opinions.  


== In a nutshell ==
== In a nutshell ==


He pretends to be 15, but acts, sounds and looks like a spoiled <s>10 year old</s> 8 year old. His egotism is very comparable to [[BLACKB0ND]]: He thinks his opinions and ideas are the absolute best, but he doesn't care about others’ opinions like all SonicFags. Again, like [[Chris-chan]], he doesn’t even know what a troll really is (to him, a troll is simply someone who disagrees and is mean to him). He seriously believe he has ‘’friends’’ on the Internet but we all know that they pretend to like him so we can get more of his delicious tears and rage. Speaking of friends, [[Forever Alone|the only IRL friends he has is his family]]. He spends all his days playing with his video games and toys. He dreams to become the next [[Mario|Shigeru Miyamoto]], but knows jack shit about video game development (so far the only ‘’game’’ he ever made is a [[FlappyBird]] clone he made using a shitty generator). He writes shitty Sonic [[fanfictions]] while inserting a [[Mary-Sue|godlike version of himself and his personal problems]] in it ([[Sonichu|sounds familiar?]]).
He pretends to be 15, but acts, sounds and looks like a spoiled 9 year old. His egotism is very comparable to [[BLACKB0ND]]: He thinks his opinions and ideas are the absolute best, but he doesn't care about others’ opinions like all SonicFags. He also expects [[Unrealistic expectations|every single person on this singular planet]] to be [[hugbox|nice]] to him and TO STOP FRICKIN' CRITICIZING HIM! Again, like [[Chris-chan]], he doesn’t even know what a troll really is (to him, a troll is simply someone who disagrees and is mean to him). He seriously believe he has ‘’friends’’ on the Internet but we all know that they pretend to like him so we can get more of his delicious tears and rage. Speaking of friends, [[Forever Alone|the only IRL friends he has is his family]]. He spends all his days playing with his video games and toys. He dreams to become the next [[Mario|Shigeru Miyamoto]], but knows jack shit about video game development (so far the only ‘’game’’ he ever made is a [[FlappyBird]] clone he made using a shitty generator). He writes shitty Sonic [[fanfictions]] while inserting a [[Mary-Sue|godlike version of himself and his personal problems]] in it ([[Sonichu|sounds familiar?]]).


He is also an expert on [[damage control]] and [http://www.reddit.com/r/encyclopediadramatica/comments/2eoaxo/the_next_sammyclassicsonicfan_have_fun/ trollshielding], because just like [[Chris-chan|Mr. C]], he thinks that when trolls are presented a new target, [[No|everyone will leave him alone and troll that person.]]
He is also an expert on [[damage control]] and [http://www.reddit.com/r/encyclopediadramatica/comments/2eoaxo/the_next_sammyclassicsonicfan_have_fun/ trollshielding], because just like [[Chris-chan|Mr. C]], he thinks that when trolls are presented a new target, [[No|everyone will leave him alone and troll that person.]]


=== Is he really 15? ===
WARNING!!! This assburger has one of the most contagious forms of [[AIDS|Autistic Intellectual Disability Syndrome]] known to mankind. Enjoy the lulz of watching this assburger at your own risk.


[[File:Sammy_isn't_lying.png|thumb|Fuck, man, that's some delayed puberty right there...]]
==His real age==
[[File:Sammy_isn't_lying.png|thumb|Delayed puberty right there.]]


He claims to be 15 years old, and if anyone says otherwise he [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlmYnJ-2L_I becomes violently butthurt to the point where his anus is swollen shut]. Even though he's obviously around 10 years old... right? ......[[OH GOD NO|right?]]
Sammy's age has been debated for quite some time now. In his videos, he claims that he's 15 years old, when in reality, the bulk of the people who watch his videos would beg to differ. Sammy looks like he's maybe 8? 9? or even 10? but he's certainly not 15. He even made a video about the matter:
<center><youtube>OlmYnJ-2L_I</youtube></center>
<center><b>He isn't really 15.</b></center>


Well, in the video below, he claims to be learning stuff in school about [[Shit nobody cares about|slope-intercept forms and point-slope and fuckin' shit like that]], shit a 10 year old would typically know nothing about.
==His shitty JewTube videos==


<youtube>OlmYnJ-2L_I</youtube>
His videos begin with a 30 second-long intro, it consists only of random Sonic gameplay clips, [[Michael Bay|a lot of explosions]], and awful Sonic drawings. In these video, he usually screams about shit nobody cares about. Mostly about why platforming games are underrated and why [[FPS|Frick-Person-Shooter]] games are the cancer that is killing video games. In the background are songs of old platformers playing for which he doesn't have permission to use, but when the music plays it sounds like someone put it there to ridicule Sammy. Eventually he will go [[Dragonball Z|Super Sayain]] to make his point abundantly clear, [[False|that he is always right]]. Occasionally he doesn't know what he's talking about anymore and will pretend to leave, and then he puts a trailer of a Mario/Sonic game in his video. He doesn't even do it for the ad money, '''he literally just puts them there,''' most likely [[Copyright|without Nintendo's permission]]. Then he completely freaks out and the credits roll, which will contain a [[CAD|huge wall of text]] in a terrible font you are supposed to read.
<center><youtube>Osps_poMaW8</youtube></center>


But the really horrifying evidence is ''[[:File:Sammy_isn't_lying.png|Sammy isn't lying.png]]'', a screencap whose implications are so dreadful that they rival the [[pain series]] in shock value. It shows a post by someone named Danielle about his 14-year-old son who is attending an online school and lives in a place called Fisher. [[OH SHIT|Sounding familiar]]?
Occasionally, he will make crossover videos with other [[youtube nobodies]] like his cousin {{yt|u|HaleyTheHedgehog}}, or his [[ginger|carrot-top]] friend, {{yt|u|BowserMan101}} and [[Arguing on the internet|debate]] about [[vidya]] games that nobody even plays anymore. These videos are not too different from his solo videos. Massive sperging, rage, excessive use of the word "frick", etc, making noises that sound like [[screamo]] and [[deathcore]] music (especially in his "Rant Against the Sonic Fanbase" video.


The post was made in January 2013, around 10 months before his rage video above claiming to be 15 came out, so the provided age of 14 in the post [[Phoenix Wright|does not contradict the evidence]] provided by Sammy as his birthday could well have fallen in the 10 month span. In that case, as of 2015, he would now be at or approaching 16.
==Reaction to this article==
Knowing Sammy, whenever he doesn't like something, or is [[rage|completely butthurt]] about something that doesn't even affect him directly, he will often go into his room, turn on his Fisher Price camera, and start screaming "FRICKEN" the whole entire time while jabbering on in his asspie language.  


All of this means that Sammy was, as of the last we heard of him, a 15-year-old [[manchild]] with balls that refuse to [[Puberty|drop]] out of fear that that would cause Sammy to slice them off in one of his fits of rage. That... is genuinely terrifying. <s>Someone write a [[creepypasta]] about it!</s> [[No]]
'''PROTIP''': [[Trigger Warning|Don't watch the video]] if you are sensitive to [[TheDOSFag|massive sperging]].
 
<center><youtube>K2-exT8o7j8</youtube></center>
== Sammy's Videos ==
<center>'''Like frick! They have nothing positive to say.'''</center>
[[Image:flapping_fricks.gif|thumb|150px|[[Asperger's Syndrome|IF YOU'RE AUTISTIC AND YOU KNOW IT FLAP YOUR HANDS]]]]
 
His videos begin with a 30 second-long intro, it consists only of random Sonic gameplay clips, [[Michael Bay|a lot of explosions]], and awful Sonic drawings.
In these video, he usually screams about shit nobody cares about. Mostly about why platforming games are underrated and why [[FPS|Frick-Person-Shooter]] games are the cancer that is killing video games. In the background are songs of old platformers playing for which he doesn't have permission to use, but when the music plays it sounds like someone put it there to ridicule Sammy.
 
He will then proceed to show off his [[Plastic crap|huge Sonic/Mario toy collection]], which he will eventually throw around. [[Mariotehplumber|He will say "frick" about a thousand times per video]] and smack his libs every 4 seconds, most of the time when he doesn't know what to say he just says "fricken" until he gets an idea.
 
Eventually he will go [[Dragonball Z|Super Sayain]] to make his point abundantly clear, [[False|that he is always right]]. Occasionally he doesn't know what he's talking about anymore and will pretend to leave, and then he puts a trailer of a Mario/Sonic game in his video. He doesn't even do it for the ad money, '''he literally just puts them there,''' most likely [[Copyright|without Nintendo's permission]]. Then he completely freaks out and the credits roll, which will contain a [[CAD|huge wall of text]] in a terrible font you are supposed to read.
 
{{center|'''LIKE SONIC'''}}
{{center|<youtube>qQhjJ0BLxT0</youtube>}}
 
{{quote|[[RAGE|"LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR]]|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''showing off his anger management skills.''}}
 
[[image:scsf_irony.gif|thumb|150px|But you've never played any [[FPS]] games!]]
Occasionally he will make crossover videos with other [[youtube nobodies]] like his cousin ({{ytuser|HaleyTheHedgehog}}), or his [[ginger]] friend ({{ytuser|BowserMan101}}) and [[Arguing on the internet|debate]] about [[Vidya]]. Mostly those videos consist of Sammy's cousin making fun of him and the ginger friend being irrelevant while Sammy yells "frick" and is being immature overall.
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Excellent social skills'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>Osps_poMaW8</youtube></center>
<br>
{{quote|"All it is is fighting elves. If you want fighting elves, go to the North Pole and be with [[Santa]]|'''HaleyTheHedgehog11''' - ''Summarizing [[Legend of Zelda|The Legend Of Zelda]]''}}
|}


==His rise to "fame"==
{{quote|Wow, another FPS! When will people learn that all FPS games are frickin' garbage? The game is too dark, the game is like [[Minecraft]], the game is uncontrollable, and the urban setting is for frickin' fricks and has [[Goth]] punks. Deus Ex just gets a negative 30,000 out of 10, okay?}}


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
When someone spergs out so badly like that, they will get noticed. Eventually [[v/|/v/]] found out about his [[Deus Ex|Doos Ex]] rant, and many laughed, cringed, or wondered: "Is this guy genuine?" "Where are his parents?" "What are his neighbors thinking?" "Will he be the next Chris-chan?" or "STOP VIRALING ON /v/ SAMMY"
|<center><big>'''What he thinks of ED'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>K2-exT8o7j8</youtube></center>
<br>
{{quote|"How is Encyclopedia Dramatica not banned from the internet?|'''SammyClassicSonicFan''' - ''Deciding to keep his head up his ass''}}
|}
 
== Sammy's Rise To Fame ==
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''DOOS EX FRICKING SUCKS'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>KZeZxQ9umWM</youtube></center>
<br>{{quote|"Wow, another FPS! When will people learn that all FPS games are frickin' garbage? The game is too dark, the game is like [[Minecraft]], the game is uncontrollable, and the urban setting is for frickin' fricks and has [[Goth]] punks. Deus Ex just gets a negative 30,000 out of 10, okay?"|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''showing off his objective reviewing skills''}}
[[Image:scsf_truth.png|thumb|150px|left|How true.]]
When someone spergs out so badly like that, they will get noticed. Eventually [[/v/]] found out about his [[Deus Ex|Doos Ex]] rant, and many laughed, cringed, or wondered: "Is this guy genuine?" "Where are his parents?" "What are his neighbors thinking?" "Will he be the next Chris-chan?" or "STOP VIRALING ON /v/ SAMMY"
Nobody knew whether he really had autism or ADD, but many knew he was going to be a huge [[lolcow]], so many subscribed, pretended to like him, and eventually he became known on [[Tumblr]]. However a huge frickin' frick will eventually get fricking trolled, and he disabled the comments. Although everyone knew this was gonna happen eventually. The videos where he rages the most are the ones with the most views, showing why people watch Sammy's videos (and to this day, he still doesn't understand '''why''').
Nobody knew whether he really had autism or ADD, but many knew he was going to be a huge [[lolcow]], so many subscribed, pretended to like him, and eventually he became known on [[Tumblr]]. However a huge frickin' frick will eventually get fricking trolled, and he disabled the comments. Although everyone knew this was gonna happen eventually. The videos where he rages the most are the ones with the most views, showing why people watch Sammy's videos (and to this day, he still doesn't understand '''why''').
Also [https://sites.google.com/site/officialscsfnetwork/ his newspage] confirms that he was diagnosed with high-functioning autism when he was 3 years old, removing any other possible mental human defect from the equation.
Also [https://sites.google.com/site/officialscsfnetwork/ his newspage] confirms that he was diagnosed with high-functioning autism when he was 3 years old, removing any other possible mental human defect from the equation.


== {{ytuser|SammyClassicSanicFan}} ==
==SammyClassicSanicFan==
[[Image:get fricked.png|thumb|150px|left|"Why won't you fricking [[trolls]] leave me alone?"]]
 
Someone saw all this [[lulz]] and decided it had to be documented for future generations. Among them were gameplay videos of Sonic 4 and Sonic Adventure, in which SammyClassicSonicFan [[Lies|claimed to be a huge expert in Sonic games]], yet fails numerous times in them, and rages louder than your average [[13 year old boy|CoD babby]]. He uses the free version of FRAPS, which results in him making a shitty transition every 30 seconds. On top of that his framerate is too bad for recording gameplay. But you are not allowed to make fun of his gameplay videos, because they are not fricking speedruns!!! Okay?!
Someone saw all this [[lulz]] and decided it had to be documented for future generations. Among them were gameplay videos of Sonic 4 and Sonic Adventure, in which SammyClassicSonicFan [[Lies|claimed to be a huge expert in Sonic games]], yet fails numerous times in them, and rages louder than your average [[13 year old boy|CoD babby]]. He uses the free version of FRAPS, which results in him making a shitty transition every 30 seconds. On top of that his framerate is too bad for recording gameplay. But you are not allowed to make fun of his gameplay videos, because they are not fricken speedruns!!! SammyClassicSanicFan uploaded videos he made himself playing the same stages the real Sammy played, except he does it a hundred times better, while calmly explaining that Sammy should chill the fuck out. Then the real Sammy responded by saying the reason he sucked is because "he had to slow down the clips so that the clips looked like they would lead into eachother" which completely explains why he sucks in Sonic games.
SammyClassicSanicFan uploaded videos he made himself playing the same stages the real Sammy played, except he does it a hundred times better, while calmly explaining that Sammy should chill the fuck out. Then the real Sammy responded by saying the reason he sucked is because "he had to slow down the clips so that the clips looked like they would lead into eachother" which completely explains why he sucks in Sonic games.
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''How a fucking retard plays Sanic'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>NbNoWIaCo9c</youtube></center>
<br>
{{quote|[[Jimmies|There is no need to be upset.]]|'''Everyone''' - '' telling Sammy to [[Impossible|fricking calm down]]''}}
|}


== The Legend Conludes ==
==The legend concludes==
[[image:Scsf_conclusion.png‎ |frame|center|Many tears were had.]]
[[image:Scsf_conclusion.png‎ |frame|center|Many tears were had.]]


[[image:scsf_homosexuality.gif|thumb|150px|He surely won't be [[gay]] when he grows up]]
The trolling somehow got the attention of his [[parents]], who, in actions typical of the over-protective parents of retard children, forced Sammy to stop making videos. Not because he is acting like a huge [[retard]] on [[crack]], but because people are making fun of him in the comments section. A bigger shock to everyone was not that Sammy would stop making videos, but that he actually has parents. Nonetheless Sammy made his videos private to reduce troll activity and get his parents off his back. (You can still watch his videos if you are subscribed to him and go to his profile to the Classic Videos playlist where he will update. Or you can just watch them on {{yt|u|SammyClassicSanicFan}}'s channel. [[Image:Baynanah.jpg|thumb|Sammy's Parents]]
The trolling somehow got the attention of his [[parents]], who, in actions typical of the over-protective parents of retard children, forced Sammy to stop making videos. Not because he is acting like a huge [[retard]] on [[crack]], but because people are making fun of him in the comments section. A bigger shock to everyone was not that Sammy would stop making videos, but that he actually has parents. Nonetheless Sammy made his videos private to reduce troll activity and get his parents off his back. (You can still watch his videos if you are subscribed to him and go to his profile to the Classic Videos playlist where he will update. Or you can just watch them on {{ytuser|SammyClassicSanicFan}}'s channel. [[Image:Baynanah.jpg|thumb|Sammy's Parents]]


=== Didn't his parents forbid him from making videos? ===
After a while, /v/ fed Sammy's ego so much he decided like every Youtube nobody, he needed a second channel to scream in. You can find it {{yt|u|MultiMariosonic|here}}. New videos include him screaming about the already-overstated lack of innovation in the new [[Call of Duty]], [[stupid|awesome]] ideas for the [[Shit no one cares about|Sonic/Mario franchises]], and one of his favourite videos included a [[My Little Pony]] [[Youtube Poop]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4recsqKbYLc it's now confirmed that he's a brony], in a video where [[Wat|he thinks of himself as Pinkie Pie]] and showing us at the end his l33t skillz in Sonic Adventure (why he put that in a pony video is beyond [[autistic|unknown]] ).
[[image:exorcism.gif|thumb|150px|left|He surely isn't possessed by [[Satan|demons]]]]
After a while, /v/ fed Sammy's ego so much he decided like every Youtube nobody, he needed a second channel to scream in. You can find it {{ytuser|MultiMariosonic|here}}. New videos include him screaming about the already-overstated lack of innovation in the new [[Call of Duty]], [[stupid|awesome]] ideas for the [[Shit no one cares about|Sonic/Mario franchises]], and one of his favourite videos included a [[My Little Pony]] [[Youtube Poop]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4recsqKbYLc it's now confirmed that he's a brony], in a video where [[Wat|he thinks of himself as Pinkie Pie]] and showing us at the end his l33t skillz in Sonic Adventure (why he put that in a pony video is beyond unknown).


== Many deaths, many comebacks ==
==Many deaths, many comebacks==
[[Image:Sammys_Parents_threaten_to_call_the_CyberPolice.png|thumb|150px|Bad people leaked our address, but our special snowflake never did anything wrong so we will let him go back on the Internet.]]
[[Image:Sammys_Parents_threaten_to_call_the_CyberPolice.png|thumb|150px|Bad people leaked our address, but our special snowflake never did anything wrong so we will let him go back on the Internet.]]
In December 2013, a group of trolls found out and leaked Sammy's dox [[for the lulz]]. Everyone expected him to make a video of him going apeshit, but surprisingly he didn't. Probably the only smart decision he ever made during his Internet career.
In December 2013, a group of trolls found out and leaked Sammy's dox [[for the lulz]]. Everyone expected him to make a video of him going apeshit, but surprisingly he didn't. Probably the only smart decision he ever made during his Internet career.


Eventually, his parents found out about this and decided to cut down his Internet. Some people got sad, but most didn't care because the Sammy fad was gone long ago.
Eventually, his parents found out about this and decided to [[Chris-chan/SexScandal3|cut down his Internet]]. Some people got sad, but most didn't care because the Sammy fad was gone long ago.


A few weeks later, he was already back on Youtube and uploaded a generic Sonic 2 video, but he deleted it 2 days later because dem fricking trolls already found him.
A few weeks later, he was already back on Youtube and uploaded a generic Sonic 2 video, but he deleted it 2 days later because dem fricking trolls already found him.
Line 116: Line 83:
'''During his Internet career, he created a total of 7 Youtube channels.'''
'''During his Internet career, he created a total of 7 Youtube channels.'''


== The Subreddit ==
== The subreddit ==
[[Image:Scsf subreddit.png|thumb|150px|Not only they follow Sammy's '''every''' move 24/7, they also have some weird [[Sonic|Big the Cat]] sexual deviants.]]
[[Image:Scsf subreddit.png|thumb|150px|Not only they follow Sammy's '''every''' move 24/7, they also have some weird [[Sonic|Big the Cat]] sexual deviants.]]
Because every Internet faggot deserve a place/forum entirely dedicated about him, a [http://www.reddit.com/r/SammyClassicSonicFan/ Subreddit] about Sammy was eventually created. Here, his fans, <s>trolls</s> (trolling is not allowed) and white knights talks about him and his latest videos all while sharing some fanworks too.
Sounds nice, right? But no.


You can't talk negatively about Sammy in any form, or else everyone will enter in moralfag mode and say ''Give him a chance, he's autistic, and he's improving himself these months'' or the admins will ban you. And your posts must be 100% related to Sammy, or else it will get deleted in less than a minute.
You can't talk negatively about Sammy in any form, or else everyone will enter in moralfag mode and say ''Give him a chance, he's autistic, and he's improving himself these months'' or the admins will ban you. And your posts must be 100% related to Sammy, or else it will get deleted in less than a minute.


'''Avoid this Subreddit like these guys avoid to do anything productive in their life like Sammy.'''
'''Avoid this Subreddit like these guys avoid to do anything productive in their life like Sammy.'''


== Sammy as of now ==
== Sammy as of now ==
[[File: Immature Sammy.jpg|thumb|left| [[No|Yes, surely he's matured]].]]
[[File: Immature Sammy.jpg|thumb|left| [[No|Yes, surely he's matured]].]]
As of 2014, Sammy is still making videos on [https://www.youtube.com/user/SCSFProductions a new channel], <s>plus [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSdwjTeuBpcuGt2AMaD8_Kw a gaming channel] where he plays his favorite SANIC and MEHRRIO games.</s> Whoops!! It looks like someone had the [[common sense]] to [[Manly_Tears|delete]] their [[Shit|amazing]] gaming channel. '''He has learned absolutely nothing from being doxed and absolutely nothing from the people who cared begging him to leave YouTube for his own good'''. He also talks about [[Shit no one cares about|an online book series that he created called Skylar Space-Time]]. He always brags about how much he's "improved", but in reality, he's just as bad now as he was before, if not worse. At least his older videos were somewhat exciting. Nowadays, instead of screaming, Sammy cries about Sonic (he literally cried over Sonic Lost World not being a "[[oxymoron|3D-classic-Sonic]] game").


Now his videos just consist of boring, trivial shit relating to the gaming industry that no one gives a shit about. Also, he made [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q42JY6vSXJg a sequel] to the monstrosity SammyClassicSonicFan's Adventure and is planning to make a third installment <strike>for attention</strike> for his [[Trolls|fans]]. He has also for some odd reason started to suck the dick of [[Mariotehplumber]]. Mariotehplumber is basically an [[manchild|the SammyClassicSonicFan prototype]], complaining about the most [[Shit nobody cares about|trivial shit]] towards [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog]], while destroying almost every object he sees when he's butthurt, including his own [[Basement dweller|home]]. [[Mariotehplumber]] is also known for his [[racism]], [[sexism]], xenophobia, and his [[Butthurt|massive butthurt]] when trolled. [[Some argue|For some reason]], Sammy looks at him as a [[pretty cool guy]]. The reason for this is beyond the knowledge of any scientists. However, Mariotehplumber has been [[baw|pissing and whining]] on [[Youtube|Jewtube]] [[Last Thursday|since 2010]]. It's pretty safe to assume that Sammy is Mariotehplumber's lost son or brother. Coincidence? I think not. Both could also be distant cousins of [[Chris-chan]] too.
As of 2014, Sammy is still making videos on [https://www.youtube.com/user/SCSFProductions a new channel]. He has learned absolutely nothing from being doxed and absolutely nothing from the people who cared begging him to leave YouTube for his own good. He also talks about [[Shit no one cares about|an online book series that he created called Skylar Space-Time]]. He always brags about how much he's "improved", but in reality, he's just as autistic now as he was before, if not worse. At least his older videos were somewhat exciting. Nowadays, instead of screaming, Sammy cries about Sonic (he literally cried over Sonic Lost World not being a "[[oxymoron|3D-classic-Sonic]] game").
 
Now his videos just consist of boring, trivial shit relating to the gaming industry that no one gives a shit about. Also, he made [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q42JY6vSXJg a sequel] to the monstrosity SammyClassicSonicFan's Adventure and is planning to make a third installment for his fans. He has also for some odd reason started to suck the dick of [[Mariotehplumber]]. Mariotehplumber is basically a SammyClassicSonicFan prototype, complaining about the most [[Shit nobody cares about|trivial shit]] towards [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog]], while destroying almost every object he sees when he's butthurt, including his own [[Basement dweller|home]]. Mariotehplumber is also known for his [[racism]], [[sexism]], xenophobia, and his [[Butthurt|massive butthurt]] when trolled. [[Some argue|For some reason]], Sammy looks at him as a [[pretty cool guy]]. The reason for this is beyond the knowledge of any scientists. However, Mariotehplumber has been [[baw|pissing and whining]] on [[Youtube|Jewtube]] [[Last Thursday|since 2010]]. It's pretty safe to assume that Sammy is Mariotehplumber's lost son or brother. Coincidence? I think not.  
 
Sammy also seems to have realised his 'connection' to [[Chris-chan]], and occasionally makes vaguely humorous self-referential comments about them.


{{center|<youtube>0o5i17aWzy8</youtube>}}
{{quote|[[Bullshit|I sort of figured you were acting]]. [[Lie|I did the same thing with this identity]], last year. My videos now are actually legitimate, though. Everyone thought my older videos were legitimate, but [[Lie|I actually just formed the SammyClassicSonicFan persona to entertain others]] while discussing what I love: gaming. Unfortunately, in addition to that came consequences. [[LOL|I had an Encyclopedia Dramatica page posted about me, my dox was posted online]], I sparked controversy amongst the Internet... in summary, I can relate.|'''Sammy, showing his l33t [[USI|self-victimizing]] and damage control skills to his boyfriend, [[Mariotehplumber]].''}}
{{quote|[[Bullshit|I sort of figured you were acting]]. [[Lie|I did the same thing with this identity]], last year. My videos now are actually legitimate, though. Everyone thought my older videos were legitimate, but [[Lie|I actually just formed the SammyClassicSonicFan persona to entertain others]] while discussing what I love: gaming. Unfortunately, in addition to that came consequences. [[LOL|I had an Encyclopedia Dramatica page posted about me, my dox was posted online]], I sparked controversy amongst the Internet... in summary, I can relate.|'''Sammy, showing his l33t [[USI|self-victimizing]] and damage control skills to his boyfriend, [[Mariotehplumber]].''}}


== Public School ==
== Public school ==
{{quote|It's actually not that bad. [[Lie|I haven't encountered any bullies yet]] ([[Unrealistic Expectations|and I hope it stays that way]]), [[Lie|I have plenty of friends]] (such as BowserMan101, and others whose names I shall not mention to protect their privacy), not to mention I have acquainted with quite a few people. |''Sammy, obviously lying trough his fangs.''}}
{{quote|It's actually not that bad. [[Lie|I haven't encountered any bullies yet]] ([[Unrealistic Expectations|and I hope it stays that way]]), [[Lie|I have plenty of friends]] (such as BowserMan101, and others whose names I shall not mention to protect their privacy), not to mention I have acquainted with quite a few people. |''Sammy, obviously lying trough his fangs.''}}


In August 2014, [http://sammytanookiblogger.blogspot.ca/2014/08/high-school-so-far.html Sammy announced that he now goes to public school]. Perhaps the first time he ever interacted with the oustide world in his life.
In August 2014, [http://sammytanookiblogger.blogspot.ca/2014/08/high-school-so-far.html Sammy announced that he now goes to public school]. Perhaps the first time he ever interacted with the oustide world in his life.


He claims that so far people hasn't played Kick the Autistic with him yet and that [[Bullshit|he made lots of friends]]. Considering that he knows jackshit on how society actualy works, still has zero culture and knows nothing about anything that is not video games, make of that what you will.
He claims that so far people haven't played Kick the Autistic with him yet and that [[Bullshit|he made lots of friends]]. Considering that he knows jackshit on how society actualy works, still has zero culture and knows nothing about anything that is not video games, make of that what you will.


==Supporters of Sammy==
==Supporters of Sammy==
During his many years of shitting out terrible videos, Sammy somehow managed to gain himself a lot of fans and supporters. Sammy's "supporters" encourage him to keep acting like an annoying dipshit for the rest of his life and often deny that he is doing anything wrong at all but don't let them fool you. Sammy's so called supporters watch him for the same reasons we all do, to count how many minutes this rabid ten year old can waste foaming at the mouth over Sonic before hyperventilating but since their morals are much higher than the average viewer's (they are big fucking pussies) they feel guilty about disagreeing with his maddening ways because the poor kid has autism and thus everything he does is okay. They spend their time crying crocodile tears over some shrieking kid they've never met in their life because they are too spineless to admit autism has nothing to do with Sammy being an unlikable little brat who likes to throw tantrums over people having opinions. Basically anyone claiming to support him are hypocrite faggots who probably point and laugh at people like Chris Chan but act all sympathetic towards Sammy because he is slightly less grotesque and younger than Chris Chan is.  
During his many years of shitting out terrible videos, Sammy somehow managed to gain himself a lot of fans and supporters. Sammy's "supporters" encourage him to keep acting like an annoying autistic dipshit for the rest of his life and often deny that he is doing anything wrong at all but don't let them fool you. Sammy's so called supporters watch him for the same reasons we all do, to count how many minutes this rabid ten year old can waste foaming at the mouth over Sonic before hyperventilating but since their morals are much higher than the average viewer's (they are big fucking pussies) they feel guilty about disagreeing with his maddening ways because the poor kid has autism and thus everything he does is okay. They spend their time crying crocodile tears over some shrieking kid they've never met in their life because they are too spineless to admit autism has nothing to do with Sammy being an unlikable little brat who likes to throw tantrums over people having opinions. Basically anyone claiming to support him are hypocrite faggots who probably point and laugh at people like Chris Chan but act all sympathetic towards Sammy because he is slightly less grotesque and younger than Chris Chan is.  


The average supporter of Sammy can be found spazzing out in the comments of anything Sammy related giving stubborn and obnoxious rants with autism as their only fuel for an argument similar to how Sammy defends the Sonic franchise with "SONIC IS GOOD GAME. FRICK YOU IF YOU DISAGREE". If you try to take the argument away from Sammy's autism they will squeal about cyber bullying for a few moments before bringing the topic back to Sammy's autism. Avoid talking to them at all costs since they are just channeling their inner SammyClassicSonicFan on you. They know deep down that they are equally autistic and shitty as Sammy is so they give him pity hoping one day someone might give pity to them when their favorite game franchise is made fun of and they finally snap into a fit of uncontrollable rage brought on by their aspergers or autism or whatever the fuck their doctor decided to call them to finally make their parents shut the fuck up. May they all continue to heil the miniature Hitler of autistic video games.
The average supporter of Sammy can be found spazzing out in the comments of anything Sammy related giving stubborn and obnoxious rants with autism as their only fuel for an argument similar to how Sammy defends the Sonic franchise with "SONIC IS GOOD GAME. FRICK YOU IF YOU DISAGREE". If you try to take the argument away from Sammy's autism they will squeal about cyber bullying for a few moments before bringing the topic back to Sammy's autism. Avoid talking to them at all costs since they are just channeling their inner SammyClassicSonicFan on you. They know deep down that they are equally autistic and shitty as Sammy is so they give him pity hoping one day someone might give pity to them when their favorite game franchise is made fun of and they finally snap into a fit of uncontrollable rage brought on by their aspergers or autism or whatever the fuck their doctor decided to call them to finally make their parents shut the fuck up. May they all continue to heil the miniature Hitler of autistic video games.


== How to piss him off ==
Prehaps the biggest SCSF fan on YouTube is an equally bipolar manchild named [[ExoParadigmGamer]]. He promotes Sammy in some of his videos.
 
==How to piss Sammy off==


*Simply disagree with his opinions  
*Disagree with his opinions.
*Praise the video game franchises he hates (I.E. Everything that is not Mario, Sonic or a platforming game)
*Praise the video game franchises he hates.
*Put his biased logic in question  
*Put his biased logic in question.
*Ask him how many IRL friends he has  
*Ask him how many IRL friends he has.
*Point out resemblances between him and [[Chris-chan]] and make fun of him overall and you'll become his enemy for life.  
*Point out resemblances between him and [[Chris-chan]] and make fun of him overall and you'll become his enemy for life.  
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlmYnJ-2L_I Say he's not actually 15].
*Tell him he's 9 years old.


 
==Sammy's batshit-insane videos==
 
<center><big><big><big><b>GOTTA GO FAST</b></big></big></big></center>
 
{|style="margin:0 auto"
 
|{{videoframe|sammyvids3|background:none;|font-weight:bold
<span style="font-size:7em;font-weight:bold;color:#zz0000;">Yes, it's that simple.</span>
|<youtube>A-t4_-SbRhg</youtube>
 
|<youtube>17cFnIpDiXc</youtube>
== More of Sammy's Batshit Insane Videos ==
|<youtube>LpHvZTuoOAA</youtube>}}
{{center|{{warning|These videos contain [[Dubstep|ear rape]], [[Some argue|bad opinions]], and massive [[assburgers]]}}}}
|}
<center>'''[[GOTTA GO FAST]]'''</center>
{{Videoframe|vf1|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:white;border:.5em solid blue;margin:0 auto 1em auto;text-align:center;|font-weight:bold;
|<youtube>UzkN1L1sQ6Q</youtube>{{quote|Legendary Fire Mario backpack?<br>[[what|What is this I don't even]]|'''Everyone'''}}
|<youtube>NbNoWIaCo9c</youtube>{{quote|"FRIIIIIIIIIIICK"|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''playing games like usual''}}
|<youtube>BKgrc0Apgjo</youtube>{{quote|"My body is not ready."|'''[[Reggie Fils-Aime]], '''''upon watching this video''}}
|<youtube>sYjIYzxbzuw</youtube>{{quote|"STOP CRITICIZING THE WII U!|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''on [[constructive criticism]].''}}
|<youtube>v1wOEU-pFhE</youtube>{{quote|"Is he wearing fucking Sonic slippers?"|'''Various People'''}}
|<youtube>Ef3rm9PXdCI</youtube>{{quote|"Stop hating on Sonic 2"}}
|<youtube>A-t4_-SbRhg</youtube>{{quote|"Tut, tut, tut"|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''smacking his libs every second''}}
|<youtube>17cFnIpDiXc</youtube>{{quote|"Biggest video game glitch evar"}}
|<youtube>LpHvZTuoOAA</youtube>{{quote|"This is just not fricking fair that I have to get treated this way on the internet, why does it have to be me specificly?"|'''SammyClassicSonicFan, '''''realizing that no one likes him, but still failing to understand}}
|<youtube>YTscAsltTzo</youtube>{{quote|"What Sammy does when he's not playing video games"}}
|<youtube>Z9Af-gmlnx8</youtube>{{quote|"Only Sammy can make a 30 sec. video with an 40 sec. intro and 15 sec. outro"'''Anonymous'''}}
}}


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
Line 191: Line 144:
File:Even bronys are ashamed.png|I think this answers the question.
File:Even bronys are ashamed.png|I think this answers the question.
File:HNNNNNNGGGGG_Original.jpg|Sammy at age 25.
File:HNNNNNNGGGGG_Original.jpg|Sammy at age 25.
File:Arrows of lies.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


== YouTube Parodies ==
== YouTube parodies ==
<center>{{quote|Because every idiot on YouTube will get parodied|'''[[Fact|FactCat]]'''}}</center><br>
{{factCat|Every idiot on JewTube will get parodied.}}
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
 
<youtube>YPQufrCfNUY</youtube>
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|starvids|background:none;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>H2CiLEt1wuA</youtube>
|<youtube>H2CiLEt1wuA</youtube>
|<youtube>qtFU6qsuY8E</youtube>
|<youtube>qtFU6qsuY8E</youtube>
Line 202: Line 157:
|<youtube>zlN8XaMI2RQ</youtube>
|<youtube>zlN8XaMI2RQ</youtube>
|<youtube>zo1UXtHp_rI</youtube>
|<youtube>zo1UXtHp_rI</youtube>
|<youtube>OW0IP49Tuic</youtube>
|<youtube>HFhs7fB3GcI</youtube>}}
|}


|<youtube>MtJlIzk10CE</youtube>
== See also ==
|<youtube>HFhs7fB3GcI</youtube>
|<youtube>PHAlGaDUIqY</youtube>
|<youtube>d-Ifclkz2U4</youtube>
|<youtube>IYbNensmZdU</youtube>}}
</center>
 
== See Also ==
*[[Retro Video Game Kids]]
*[[Retro Video Game Kids]]
*[[Ulrichthehedgehog]]
*[[Ulrichthehedgehog]]
Line 217: Line 166:
*[[Sonic]]
*[[Sonic]]
*[[Rage]]
*[[Rage]]
*[[ExoParadigmGamer]]
*[[Chris-chan]]
*[[Chris-chan]]
*[[ADD]]
*[[ADD]]
Line 223: Line 173:
*[[Mariotehplumber]]
*[[Mariotehplumber]]


== External Links ==
== External links ==
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTqWqxI-XCjXUdyeQ-YoANg?feature=watch Latest Youtube channel hopefully it won't die on us for a while]
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/user/sammypapermariofan/1 His Daliy motion account]  
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/user/sammypapermariofan/1 His Daliy motion account]  
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdv0U6ZWLX2PdBAm8petp0g His 7th and most recent Youtube channel]</s> - Deleted.
*<s>{{yt|u|SammyClassicSanicFan}} </S> B&
*<s>[http://sammyclassicwikifan.wikia.com/wiki/SammyClassicWikiFan_Wiki SammyClassicWikiFan] - The wiki has pulled itself from the churning abyss.</s> Admin Banned for "vandalism and hate speech" Wiki is ded again.
*{{twitter|SCSFProductions}}
*<s>{{ytuser|SammyClassicSonicFan}}</s>BALEETED<br />
*[https://www.instagram.com/the_sensational_sammy_zenith/ His Instagram]
*{{ytuser|SammyClassicSanicFan}}<br /> - Mirror Channel
*<s>{{ytuser|SamsungGalaxieSZ}}<br /> - Still operational, but assumed abandoned.</s>BALEETED<br
*<s>{{ytuser|Sammy the Classic Sonic Fan}}
*{{ytuser|SCSFProductions}}<br /> - His newest account.
*<s>{{kym|sammyclassicsonicfan}} </s>BALETED<br />
*<s>[https://sites.google.com/site/sammytanookikingdom/stgwiki His own USI-infested wiki]</s> DED
*<s>{{fbid|174393199427050|His official Facebook page}}</s> - Deleted.
*{{fbid|485201671564192|Unofficial SCSF Fanpage}}
*{{fbid|485201671564192|Unofficial SCSF Fanpage}}
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ8ykMGA4mUDIYqEM2iq7TA another YouTube]</s> - Deleted.
*{{fbid|100004530648111|His Facebook}}
*<s>[https://plus.google.com/u/0/+SammyClassicSonicFan/posts His Google+ page]</s> GONE
*[http://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/TrueBlue042/ His XBL gamertag]
*<s>[http://instagram.com/sammytanookigamer His Instagram page]</s> DELETED
*[http://psnprofiles.com/SupasamiStar14 His PSN account]
*<s>[http://sammyclassicsonicfan.wikia.com/wiki/SammyClassicSonicFan 100% Official wiki]</s> Abandoned.
 
*<s>[https://sites.google.com/site/officialscsfnetwork/ Sammy's Official Newspage]</s> Taken down.
;Other:
*<s>[https://sites.google.com/site/sammytanookikingdom/ Sammy's NEW Official Newspage]</s> DEAD
*{{facebook|morgan.thomas.9634|His sister}}
*[http://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/TrueBlue042/ XBL Gamertag: TrueBlue042 (note the high amount of games with low Gamerscore)]
*{{facebook|wayne.thomas.1840070|His dad}}
*[http://psnprofiles.com/SupasamiStar14 PSN Account: SupasamiStar14 (note the high amount of unearned trophies and lack of completed games.)]
 
*[https://www.facebook.com/morgan.thomas.9634 His sister]
*[https://www.facebook.com/wayne.thomas.1840070 His dad]


{{SonicFags}}
{{SonicFags}}
{{aspies}}
{{aspies}}
{{ytseries}}
{{ytseries}}
{{trolls}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 15, [[2014]]|[[Pindos]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[FlappyBird]]}}


{{Timeline|Featured article February 15, [[2014]]|[[Pindos]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[FlappyBird]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2013]]
[[Category:2013]]
[[Category:Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:YouTube]]

Latest revision as of 07:39, 1 May 2024

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

LEARNED TO PLAY NICE

SammyClassicSonicFan may have learned to play nice with others on the internet.

     Watch this page to find out if they revert to their natural state of being an asshole   (_Y_)


SammyClassicSonicFan
Powerword: Ethan Samuel Thomas
Nationality: American
Gender: Male
Occupation: YouTuber
Years active: 2013-present
Website: JewTube (archive)
JewTube (new channel)
Sammy, as of May 2014
What Sammy will be in a few years
What really happened
Proof that he's not 15: Dangerously underweight, arms looking like toothpricks with no muscles to be found, torso painfully thin with no body fat or visible ribs...
   
“ 		 
He's a young teenage legend and the world's most dedicated Nintendo geek!
  		„
  		 

—SammyClassicSonicFan, describing himself.

frick

SammyClassicSonicFan (also known as SammyTanookiGamer, SnoopyFlyingAce64, and SammyPaperMarioFan) is a severely autistic 26-year old (he used to be a retarded kid back then) from Indiana who makes JewTube videos ranting about the most retarded shit ever, and is severely infected with high amounts of assburgers, USI and shows a tremendous amount of bad parenting through his spergy behavior on JewTube. Sammy sets a perfect example as to why little kids should not be allowed Internet access. Somehow, he acquired a camera, and like every little kid who thinks his opinions matter, he feels the need to share his stupid opinions about Sonic, or some other gay shit that nobody cares about to everyone on JewTube. Sammy also claims that he is 15 years old, despite his voice sounding as squeaky as wet shoes on a wooden floor, and looks like he's 9 years old. He thinks his opinions matter to the rest of the Interwebz, when in reality nobody gives a shit about him or his opinions.

In a nutshell

He pretends to be 15, but acts, sounds and looks like a spoiled 9 year old. His egotism is very comparable to BLACKB0ND: He thinks his opinions and ideas are the absolute best, but he doesn't care about others’ opinions like all SonicFags. He also expects every single person on this singular planet to be nice to him and TO STOP FRICKIN' CRITICIZING HIM! Again, like Chris-chan, he doesn’t even know what a troll really is (to him, a troll is simply someone who disagrees and is mean to him). He seriously believe he has ‘’friends’’ on the Internet but we all know that they pretend to like him so we can get more of his delicious tears and rage. Speaking of friends, the only IRL friends he has is his family. He spends all his days playing with his video games and toys. He dreams to become the next Shigeru Miyamoto, but knows jack shit about video game development (so far the only ‘’game’’ he ever made is a FlappyBird clone he made using a shitty generator). He writes shitty Sonic fanfictions while inserting a godlike version of himself and his personal problems in it (sounds familiar?).

He is also an expert on damage control and trollshielding, because just like Mr. C, he thinks that when trolls are presented a new target, everyone will leave him alone and troll that person.

WARNING!!! This assburger has one of the most contagious forms of Autistic Intellectual Disability Syndrome known to mankind. Enjoy the lulz of watching this assburger at your own risk.

His real age

Delayed puberty right there.

Sammy's age has been debated for quite some time now. In his videos, he claims that he's 15 years old, when in reality, the bulk of the people who watch his videos would beg to differ. Sammy looks like he's maybe 8? 9? or even 10? but he's certainly not 15. He even made a video about the matter:

He isn't really 15.

His shitty JewTube videos

His videos begin with a 30 second-long intro, it consists only of random Sonic gameplay clips, a lot of explosions, and awful Sonic drawings. In these video, he usually screams about shit nobody cares about. Mostly about why platforming games are underrated and why Frick-Person-Shooter games are the cancer that is killing video games. In the background are songs of old platformers playing for which he doesn't have permission to use, but when the music plays it sounds like someone put it there to ridicule Sammy. Eventually he will go Super Sayain to make his point abundantly clear, that he is always right. Occasionally he doesn't know what he's talking about anymore and will pretend to leave, and then he puts a trailer of a Mario/Sonic game in his video. He doesn't even do it for the ad money, he literally just puts them there, most likely without Nintendo's permission. Then he completely freaks out and the credits roll, which will contain a huge wall of text in a terrible font you are supposed to read.

Occasionally, he will make crossover videos with other youtube nobodies like his cousin HaleyTheHedgehog, or his carrot-top friend, BowserMan101 and debate about vidya games that nobody even plays anymore. These videos are not too different from his solo videos. Massive sperging, rage, excessive use of the word "frick", etc, making noises that sound like screamo and deathcore music (especially in his "Rant Against the Sonic Fanbase" video.

Reaction to this article

Knowing Sammy, whenever he doesn't like something, or is completely butthurt about something that doesn't even affect him directly, he will often go into his room, turn on his Fisher Price camera, and start screaming "FRICKEN" the whole entire time while jabbering on in his asspie language.

PROTIP: Don't watch the video if you are sensitive to massive sperging.

Like frick! They have nothing positive to say.

His rise to "fame"

   
“ 		 
Wow, another FPS! When will people learn that all FPS games are frickin' garbage? The game is too dark, the game is like Minecraft, the game is uncontrollable, and the urban setting is for frickin' fricks and has Goth punks. Deus Ex just gets a negative 30,000 out of 10, okay?
  		„
  		 

When someone spergs out so badly like that, they will get noticed. Eventually /v/ found out about his Doos Ex rant, and many laughed, cringed, or wondered: "Is this guy genuine?" "Where are his parents?" "What are his neighbors thinking?" "Will he be the next Chris-chan?" or "STOP VIRALING ON /v/ SAMMY" Nobody knew whether he really had autism or ADD, but many knew he was going to be a huge lolcow, so many subscribed, pretended to like him, and eventually he became known on Tumblr. However a huge frickin' frick will eventually get fricking trolled, and he disabled the comments. Although everyone knew this was gonna happen eventually. The videos where he rages the most are the ones with the most views, showing why people watch Sammy's videos (and to this day, he still doesn't understand why). Also his newspage confirms that he was diagnosed with high-functioning autism when he was 3 years old, removing any other possible mental human defect from the equation.

SammyClassicSanicFan

Someone saw all this lulz and decided it had to be documented for future generations. Among them were gameplay videos of Sonic 4 and Sonic Adventure, in which SammyClassicSonicFan claimed to be a huge expert in Sonic games, yet fails numerous times in them, and rages louder than your average CoD babby. He uses the free version of FRAPS, which results in him making a shitty transition every 30 seconds. On top of that his framerate is too bad for recording gameplay. But you are not allowed to make fun of his gameplay videos, because they are not fricken speedruns!!! SammyClassicSanicFan uploaded videos he made himself playing the same stages the real Sammy played, except he does it a hundred times better, while calmly explaining that Sammy should chill the fuck out. Then the real Sammy responded by saying the reason he sucked is because "he had to slow down the clips so that the clips looked like they would lead into eachother" which completely explains why he sucks in Sonic games.

The legend concludes

Many tears were had.

The trolling somehow got the attention of his parents, who, in actions typical of the over-protective parents of retard children, forced Sammy to stop making videos. Not because he is acting like a huge retard on crack, but because people are making fun of him in the comments section. A bigger shock to everyone was not that Sammy would stop making videos, but that he actually has parents. Nonetheless Sammy made his videos private to reduce troll activity and get his parents off his back. (You can still watch his videos if you are subscribed to him and go to his profile to the Classic Videos playlist where he will update. Or you can just watch them on SammyClassicSanicFan's channel.

Sammy's Parents

After a while, /v/ fed Sammy's ego so much he decided like every Youtube nobody, he needed a second channel to scream in. You can find it here. New videos include him screaming about the already-overstated lack of innovation in the new Call of Duty, awesome ideas for the Sonic/Mario franchises, and one of his favourite videos included a My Little Pony Youtube Poop, it's now confirmed that he's a brony, in a video where he thinks of himself as Pinkie Pie and showing us at the end his l33t skillz in Sonic Adventure (why he put that in a pony video is beyond unknown ).

Many deaths, many comebacks

Bad people leaked our address, but our special snowflake never did anything wrong so we will let him go back on the Internet.

In December 2013, a group of trolls found out and leaked Sammy's dox for the lulz. Everyone expected him to make a video of him going apeshit, but surprisingly he didn't. Probably the only smart decision he ever made during his Internet career.

Eventually, his parents found out about this and decided to cut down his Internet. Some people got sad, but most didn't care because the Sammy fad was gone long ago.

A few weeks later, he was already back on Youtube and uploaded a generic Sonic 2 video, but he deleted it 2 days later because dem fricking trolls already found him.

So he decided to shelter himself, he made a private channel that only his closest and most loyal White Knights could access to (about 2 or 3 people). Videos on this said channel were nothing but generic Sonic 3D Blast videos, generic rant videos and a cringy as fuck culinary critic of Golden Oreo cookies. It didn't took long for those videos to get leaked. Sammy got buttmad and closed his private channel.

But Sammy, just like every lolcow suffering from USI, is always hungry for attention (either positive or negative), so in February 2014 he created a new public channel. Mostly to promote his shitty novels and Sonic fanfictions that nobody cares about.


During his Internet career, he created a total of 7 Youtube channels.

The subreddit

Not only they follow Sammy's every move 24/7, they also have some weird Big the Cat sexual deviants.

You can't talk negatively about Sammy in any form, or else everyone will enter in moralfag mode and say Give him a chance, he's autistic, and he's improving himself these months or the admins will ban you. And your posts must be 100% related to Sammy, or else it will get deleted in less than a minute.

Avoid this Subreddit like these guys avoid to do anything productive in their life like Sammy.

Sammy as of now

Yes, surely he's matured.

As of 2014, Sammy is still making videos on a new channel. He has learned absolutely nothing from being doxed and absolutely nothing from the people who cared begging him to leave YouTube for his own good. He also talks about an online book series that he created called Skylar Space-Time. He always brags about how much he's "improved", but in reality, he's just as autistic now as he was before, if not worse. At least his older videos were somewhat exciting. Nowadays, instead of screaming, Sammy cries about Sonic (he literally cried over Sonic Lost World not being a "3D-classic-Sonic game").

Now his videos just consist of boring, trivial shit relating to the gaming industry that no one gives a shit about. Also, he made a sequel to the monstrosity SammyClassicSonicFan's Adventure and is planning to make a third installment for his fans. He has also for some odd reason started to suck the dick of Mariotehplumber. Mariotehplumber is basically a SammyClassicSonicFan prototype, complaining about the most trivial shit towards Sonic the Hedgehog, while destroying almost every object he sees when he's butthurt, including his own home. Mariotehplumber is also known for his racism, sexism, xenophobia, and his massive butthurt when trolled. For some reason, Sammy looks at him as a pretty cool guy. The reason for this is beyond the knowledge of any scientists. However, Mariotehplumber has been pissing and whining on Jewtube since 2010. It's pretty safe to assume that Sammy is Mariotehplumber's lost son or brother. Coincidence? I think not.

Sammy also seems to have realised his 'connection' to Chris-chan, and occasionally makes vaguely humorous self-referential comments about them.

   
“ 		 
I sort of figured you were acting. I did the same thing with this identity, last year. My videos now are actually legitimate, though. Everyone thought my older videos were legitimate, but I actually just formed the SammyClassicSonicFan persona to entertain others while discussing what I love: gaming. Unfortunately, in addition to that came consequences. I had an Encyclopedia Dramatica page posted about me, my dox was posted online, I sparked controversy amongst the Internet... in summary, I can relate.
  		„
  		 

—'Sammy, showing his l33t self-victimizing and damage control skills to his boyfriend, Mariotehplumber.

Public school

   
“ 		 
It's actually not that bad. I haven't encountered any bullies yet (and I hope it stays that way), I have plenty of friends (such as BowserMan101, and others whose names I shall not mention to protect their privacy), not to mention I have acquainted with quite a few people.
  		„
  		 

—Sammy, obviously lying trough his fangs.

In August 2014, Sammy announced that he now goes to public school. Perhaps the first time he ever interacted with the oustide world in his life.

He claims that so far people haven't played Kick the Autistic with him yet and that he made lots of friends. Considering that he knows jackshit on how society actualy works, still has zero culture and knows nothing about anything that is not video games, make of that what you will.

Supporters of Sammy

During his many years of shitting out terrible videos, Sammy somehow managed to gain himself a lot of fans and supporters. Sammy's "supporters" encourage him to keep acting like an annoying autistic dipshit for the rest of his life and often deny that he is doing anything wrong at all but don't let them fool you. Sammy's so called supporters watch him for the same reasons we all do, to count how many minutes this rabid ten year old can waste foaming at the mouth over Sonic before hyperventilating but since their morals are much higher than the average viewer's (they are big fucking pussies) they feel guilty about disagreeing with his maddening ways because the poor kid has autism and thus everything he does is okay. They spend their time crying crocodile tears over some shrieking kid they've never met in their life because they are too spineless to admit autism has nothing to do with Sammy being an unlikable little brat who likes to throw tantrums over people having opinions. Basically anyone claiming to support him are hypocrite faggots who probably point and laugh at people like Chris Chan but act all sympathetic towards Sammy because he is slightly less grotesque and younger than Chris Chan is.

The average supporter of Sammy can be found spazzing out in the comments of anything Sammy related giving stubborn and obnoxious rants with autism as their only fuel for an argument similar to how Sammy defends the Sonic franchise with "SONIC IS GOOD GAME. FRICK YOU IF YOU DISAGREE". If you try to take the argument away from Sammy's autism they will squeal about cyber bullying for a few moments before bringing the topic back to Sammy's autism. Avoid talking to them at all costs since they are just channeling their inner SammyClassicSonicFan on you. They know deep down that they are equally autistic and shitty as Sammy is so they give him pity hoping one day someone might give pity to them when their favorite game franchise is made fun of and they finally snap into a fit of uncontrollable rage brought on by their aspergers or autism or whatever the fuck their doctor decided to call them to finally make their parents shut the fuck up. May they all continue to heil the miniature Hitler of autistic video games.

Prehaps the biggest SCSF fan on YouTube is an equally bipolar manchild named ExoParadigmGamer. He promotes Sammy in some of his videos.

How to piss Sammy off

  • Disagree with his opinions.
  • Praise the video game franchises he hates.
  • Put his biased logic in question.
  • Ask him how many IRL friends he has.
  • Point out resemblances between him and Chris-chan and make fun of him overall and you'll become his enemy for life.
  • Tell him he's 9 years old.

Sammy's batshit-insane videos

GOTTA GO FAST

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Gallery

Gallery Of Austism About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Sammy dealing with bronies like an expert
    Sammy dealing with bronies like an expert
  • Answer the question.
    Answer the question.
  • I think this answers the question.
    I think this answers the question.
  • Sammy at age 25.
    Sammy at age 25.

YouTube parodies

Fact Cat says:
Every idiot on JewTube will get parodied.


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See also

External links

Other


[WAY PAST COOL!GOTTA GO FAST!]


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