Wolfaboo

This article needs moar furious wolfaboo stamps.. You can help by adding moar furious wolfaboo stamps..

Totally a better representation of wolves than the Big Bad Wolf.

Your average wolfaboo

Wolfaboos are an odious branch of Animal Rights activists and/or furfags who are to wolves what 13 year old girls are to Twilight. Wolfaboos think that wolves are quite literally gods of the animal kingdom, that are going to go extinct any second now, think Wolf's Rain was a documentary, think Sarah Palin is the worst mass murderer since Yahweh, think having a "wolf spirit" is unique and daring, ignore all facts and just prattle on about OMGWOLVES, and scream at people who disagree or who do not view wolves as the pinnacle of evolution/existence.

Wolves were once one of the most hated animals on the planet, a trend which was reversed by dedicated biologists who spent their whole lives trying to teach the world the truth about wolves. Ironically enough, thanks to wolfaboos and their mindless fanbase, the whitewashing campaign in defence of wolves has failed miserably, with most people now being sick to death of wolves, and seeing wolf hunting as a guaranteed lulz dispenser.

Etymology and definition

Average reaction to crtiticism

Wolf•a•boo [wolf-uh-boo] (n.)

1. A portmanteau of Weeaboo (referring to a person overly obsessed with Japan,) and Wolf (a member of the Canidae family and wet dream of every furfag). A Wolfaboo: "A person overly obsessed with wolves; one who equates a human life to that of a wolf; someone who defends and or glorifies wolves killing humans; insists that the wolf is stronger, braver, more compassionate, more noble, more intelligent, etc. than any other animal even when confronted with evidence of the contrary. Is normally an adolescent who subconsciously feels as though he/she needs to have an identity as a wolf or a wolf lover in order to be unique; more often than not has terrible spelling and grammar skills. Often misspelling the plural of wolf as 'wolfs'; Often, will make up lies and propaganda to defend wolves; most of the lies do not hold true when put to actual research. People who specialise in trolling wolfaboos are referred to as "Wolfer-trolls", a compound word derived from Wolfer (a wolf hunter) and troll" see: Ignorant, Stubborn, Brainwashed, Liar, Foolish, Gay

Synonyms include; Wolf Fanatics, Wolf Worshipers, Wolftards, Wolf Fappers and Wolf Fuckers (the latter term is unpopular, as it implies that these bozos have actually lost their virginity).

Wolfaboos summed up.

Why Wolves?

Why not tigerboos? Why not rhinoboos? Why not pandaboos? It's thought that wolfaboos love wolves for no reason other than they resemble their own pet doggy. That's it. Like most animal rights activists/furfags they only care about pretty animals, not bird-eating spiders big enough to fit over your face. They do not care which species are going extinct, they care because wolves are so awesome and cool and look just like Fido. Dogs as a whole are popular in general because they have inflatable dicks.

But why just wolves? Why not dingoes or jackals? Possibly because wolves were feared and hunted to extinction by humans in many countries, thus wolfaboos often compare them to abused minorities. But like all animal right activists, ultimately, they care more about animals than people.

Examples of hypocrisy and ignorance

Apparently, wolves can beat tigers, lions and cougars in a fight

Persian depiction of a wolf hunt : Proof that the wolfaboo's claim that people only began hating wolves after the publication of Little Red Riding Hood is complete bullshit, as Persia is far older than the culture from which the fairy tale originated

This is the animal that supposedly keeps other species strong and healthy

Wolfaboos fap to this

Wolf dildo from Zeta Toy... guess who the target audience is. (One wonders how somebody actually got a plaster mold of a wolf twanger)

	“	Expecting accurate information on wolves from wolfaboos makes about as much sense as asking North Koreans for impartial data on their "gleat reader" Kim-Il-Sung	„
	—Anoymous

• They claim that wolves are needed to keep elk populations down. However, when presented with evidence that wolves drive said elk to extinction, they then claim that wolves have no effect on them after all.

• Wolfaboos claim that hunters kill more deer than wolves do. Britfag wolfaboos however will claim that Scotland’s deer culling programme is ineffective, and wolves (which supposedly do not affect deer populations) are the solution to the overpopulation problem.

• They cite the supposed "friendliness", "loyalty" and "love" of wolf packs as an example for human families to follow. What they overlook is that the breeding pair always eats first at a kill, even during times of famine, thus causing many pups to starve to death. Strangely enough, canines with much less media attention (such as dholes and African wild dogs, which wolfaboos likely don't even know exist) do the exact opposite, and give the pups priority.

• Wolfaboos often claim that they act in defence of all wolves, though all their fanart focuses solely on fat, fluffy North American wolves. You’ll never find art dedicated to Middle-Eastern or Southern Asian wolves, which are the coarse-furred, long eared, small sized animals which first gave rise to the domestic dog and adopted Mowgli.

• They like to think that Native Americans worshipped wolves. History states otherwise: wolves were not elevated above other animals and several tribes killed wolves, either as rites of passage, to make fursuits, or for food. Among other claims, they state that wolves and Natives hunted alongside one another, while writings from the Lewis and Clarke expidition indicate that wolves only occurred outside tribal territorial boundraries.

• They like to compare Sarah Palin to Hitler because wild dogs > Jews.

• They often claim that their dog is "part wolf" (see Dracoguard's fuck-buddy).

• When it comes to wolf attacks on humans, wolfaboos have a blatant habit of shifting the goalpost. First they will claim that “There is no record of a wolf ever killing a human”. When it turns out that rabid wolves have killed people, they claim “There is no record of a healthy wolf ever killing a human”. When this itself turns out to be bullshit, due to healthy zoo wolves killing their handlers, they go on to say “There is no record of a wild, healthy wolf ever killing a human”. Finally, when the truth comes out that wild, non-rabid wolves have indeed killed people, they state “There is no record of a wild, healthy, non-habituated wolf ever killing a person” etcetera, etcetera!

• On a similair note, wolfaboos like to post videos or pictures of zoo wolves acting friendly with their handlers, and claim that this is proof that they are harmless. Oddly, people like Steve Irwin, Timothy Treadwell, Kevin Richardson and Kim Wolhuter who befriended dangerous animals (crocodiles, bears, lions and hyenas respectively) never used their specimen's good behavior as proof that their respective animals were not dangerous. Ironically, when captive wolves do kill people, the wolfaboos then claim that captive animals are not good examples of wolf behavior after all.

• They call wolves the “sanitarians of nature”, seemingly unaware of the fact that wolves carry over 50 different parasite species, among them are hydatid tapeworms, which severely weaken game populations. So much for wolves keeping the herds strong!

• Although wolfaboos claim that wolves would never attack a person, and that their reputation for killing large, healthy animals is unjustified, they think that wolves can beat far stronger predators such as hyenas, cougars, lions and tigers in a fight. This is odd, as they also claim that mere livestock guardian dogs are a foolproof way of repelling wolves from livestock.

• Being largely urban, pastey skinned teenagers with no experience whatsoever in manual work, wolfaboos naturally like to lecture rural people on how to run their farms, citing a miriad of non-lethal methods of keeping wolves away from their property.

• They genuinely believe that wolves only kill for food. They've obviously never heard of "surplus killing".

• Most wolfaboos (particularly the emo types) pick black colored wolves as their fursonas, as if unaware that black wolves are actually wolf-dog crossbreeds, and are thus the least "wolf-like" color variant.

• They actually believe that Balto (the IRL huskie, not the cartoon) was a wolf-dog hybrid.

Subspecies

Typical DeviantArt Wolfaboo

Like the animal which they masturbate to, wolfaboos come in many different forms, sizes and levels of dumbfuckery:

• DeviantArt wolfaboos: Famous for their efforts at increasing wolf awareness through drawing sparkledogs and yiff, as well as ruining perfectly good fictional characters by re-drawing them as wolves
• Furry Affinity wolfaboos: Known for their unambiguous desire to bukkake wolves
• Iscribble Wolfaboos: Seem to be hybrid populations between the FA and DA wolfaboos
• Yahoo Answer wolfaboos: Suffice to say, they know nothing about wolves
• Youtube wolfaboos: Arguably the stupidest of them all. When they are not typing SAVE TEH WOLFS!!!! or HUNTERZ SUK!1!1! on other people's comment pages, these exceptionally annoying little faggots have the habit of ripping stock footage from Wolf's Rain or Balto, then using them to make "music videos" in which (being the talentless hacks they are) they basically take someone elses song and try to make it apply to wolves.

Wolfaboo Stamps

There are three types of wolfaboo stamps:

• Anti-wolfaboo but pro-wolf ("I love wolves but I'm NOT a wolfaboo!")
• Anti-wolfaboo and anti-wolf ("Fuck wolves! What about the Goliath Bird-eating Spider?!")
• Pro-wolfaboo with no mention of wolves whatsoever ("Wolf H8ers SUUUUUUUCK!!1!").

‎

Wolfaboo role models

Ellis and Mowat discuss the future of wolves

• WolfAdvocate: Classic example of a pseudo-intellectual defender of wolves made even more pathetic by the fact he looks 12 rather than 21 and has Asperger's syndrome. Driven off both youtube and deviantart after gently being told wolves aren't the most important species on the planet. Interestingly he comes from Australia - the land of dingoes, not wolves.

• Hatedwerewolf: No description needed.

• Farley Mowat: The Kent Hovind of wolves. Most famous for his fictional book (marketed as an autobiography) Never Cry Wolf, this self-aggrandising Canadian portrays wolves as fox-loving lemming eaters who only kill caribou in desperation. Wolfaboos lap this up like the wolf cum they dream of having jizzed on their faces, seemingly unaware that their idol is a proven self-aggrandising compulsive liar, known to Canadian natives as “hardly-know-it” and a serial plagiarist of works done by actual wolf biologists.

• Shaun Ellis: A British closet biofur and ex-marine (oddly resembling a chunkier version of Wolfeedarkfang), known as "The Wolfman", who abandoned his family and his regiment in order to fulfil his lifelong dream of living in a zoo eating deer entrails with captive wolves, among other things.

• Misha Defonseka: A catholic Belgian wolfaboo whose real name is Monique De Wael, as well as being the daughter of a Nazi collaborating traitor. She obviously took a shine to Farley Mowat's con-job, and wrote an "autobiography" entitled Surviving with Wolves, in which she describes herself as a Jew escaping from Nazi captivity as a child, and surviving in the wilderness for two seasons with a wolf pack. Naturally, her conscience soon got the better of her, and she later admitted to all her wolfaboo fangirls that the whole story was total bullshit (conveniently after making £10 m from sales).

• Ashley Judd: An ex-ham actress from california and spokesperson of Defenders of Wildlife, who BAWWWs over Sarah Palin's Alaskan wolf management policies. Also I'M A NASTY WOMAN!

• Mike Wagner a.k.a PWI (Posterboy for Wolfaboo Insanity): The sociopathic founder of Heart of the Wolf, who anthropomorphises wolves to the extent of comparing wolf hunting to the holocaust, and calls Shaun Ellis, as well as actual qualified wolf biologists, "wolf murderers". His counterarguments against the responsible management of wolf populations by qualified biologists typically involve ad-hominem attacks and (wait for it) quotes from The X Files. Among other things, he thinks that Disney films and the Chronicles of Narnia are part of a "conspiracy" to demonise wolves

and finally...

The Head of the Pack

With all the works written that detail various aspects of Adolf Hitler's life the nature and extent of his faggotry has not heretofore been treated to adequate critical review. This then is an attempt to correct this glaring oversight to achieve a better understanding of the defects in his character.

Hitler is popularly known to have owned and loved a variety of animals although his feelings towards other "sub-humans" has been less than charitable.

Widely recognized is his failure to gain academic placement in his initially chosen field as artist. Much like the furfags of our day, although possessed with some measure of talent his spergish personality blinded his sense of practicality when it came to choosing a field in which he was proficient enough to make a practical living off of like other skinfags. However, in contrast to his counterparts in our present age Hitler eschewed endlessly drawing dicks on cartoon animals favoring instead the mundane landscapes of Vienna as his principal source of artistic inspiration. As a matter of fact, even though his love of animals is well known there is no evidence that he ever drew or painted animal subjects of any sort although there are other examples of Disney fan-art believed to have been his that are mentioned below.

Recently unearthed photograph published in The London Daily Mail depicting Eva Braun (at left) with friends and unidentified furfag in the Bavarian Alps circa 1935.

This, along with the absence of any conclusive evidence that he ever wore an animal skin at any time is what would disqualify him from being labelled as "furfag" strictly speaking. However, his fixation and personal identification with wolves were sufficiently pronounced and demonstrated to earn his classification as wolfaboo that, along with his aspie-like infatuation with his own ideas no matter how generally insane, wrong or disgusting are of greatest significance and will be the topic of further discussion.

Hitler as Wolfaboo

Hitler's infatuation and self identification with wolves seems to have begun in earnest in 1921 around the same time he assumed leadership of the National Socialist German Worker's Party and began receiving the patronage of one of his earliest political mentors, Dietrich Eckart. Prior to this and following the end of the First World War Hitler had made his reputation in the German Army by acting as a political spy for the German Reichwehr against the Communist revolutionaries. It was in the context of his work as a political spy he began using the pseudonym "Herr Wolf." (The Twisted Cross by Joseph J Carr p. 46) He also began signing articles of his that were published in the Volkischer Beobachter as simply "Wolf." (The Unknown Hitler p. 111) The society matrons and ladies of means whom Eckart had introduced him to during this period also referred to him by this name. (ibid.) Stan Lauryssens' book describes how Hitler would sit at Helene Bechstein's feet while she gently stroked his hair while murmuring 'Mein Wolfchen.' (The Man Who Invented the Third Reich p. 107) During this time he was given speech lessons and introduced to their friends in polite society (Op Cit p. 118) whose members would become the Nazi Party's initial principal financial sponsors. On April 20, 1922, Hitler's next birthday, one of his bodyguards named Christian Weber presented him with a German Shepherd whom Hitler named 'Wolf.' He quickly became the first in a line of Hitler's pets with whom Hitler formed a close bond, taking him on long walks and to party meetings. (Hitler and his God pp. 94-95) Upon acquiring a hardbound copy of Timothy Ryback's important book 'Hitler's Private Library' this author noticed something else quite significant. At the top of the dust jacket is an enlarged reproduction of Hitler's signature.

Graphologists would correctly interpret this handwriting as belonging to someone desperately in need of trolling.

If one were to study Hitler's signatures over time one would see a prepoderance of those in which the rendering of the first name has been summarized into an 'S' shaped 'Sigrune.' Originally said to refer to the Sun this character was later re-interpreted by German occultist and Ariosophist Guido von List as meaning 'Victory.' Aside from the obvious symbology, one might imagine Hitler's usage of this particular style of writing his first name from a purely practical standpoint after he became dictator. However, if one studies the signature printed on the dust jacket of Mr. Ryback's book one will notice a distinctly different stylization. Hitler breaks the cursive 'd' to form the right side of a capital 'W' so that the letters appears to spell the name, 'Wolf Hitler.' Looking online one finds further examples of this signature. One is signed to a document said to date from November of 1923 while another is affixed to a document displayed in the Simon Weisenthal archives and credited as Hitler's first anti-semitic written work dating from 1919. In both of these signatures the stylization of the 'Ad' into a capital 'W' are clearly evident.

Different authors have ascribed to his first name different meaning. According to John Toland, "..Adolf was derived from the Teutonic word meaning 'fortunate wolf'.." (Adolf Hitler by John Toland p. 130) while Joachim Fest asserts Hitler determined that the word 'Wolf', "was the primitive Germanic form of Adolf." (Hitler by Joachim Fest p. 157) Another source explains, "The name 'Adolf' is a modern derivative of the older Germanic name 'Athalwolf' which in turn is made from atah and wolfa. The name 'adolf,' then means 'noble wolf.'" (The Twisted Cross by Joseph J. Carr p. 46)

The Antiquity of Lupine Furfaggotry

Investigating the cultural ancestry of this lupine obsession in Europe one finds references detailed in the Histories of Herodotus dating as far back as 500 BC. (Realm of the Ring Lords by Laurence Gardener, pp. 213-214) The original works of Norse Mythology known collectively as the Volsunga Saga composed in the 13th Century (op cit, p. 39) include tales in which the protagonists donned the skins of wolves and adopted their physical traits. (op cit, p. 215) Whether Hitler was familiar with these tales is unknown but it should be kept in mind that according to his friend August Kubizek he often would see Hitler surrounded by the five volumes of the 'Heldenbücher' or 'The Sagas of the German Heroes' when he was growing up in Linz. (The Young Hitler I Knew by August Kubizek, p. 62) For some Indian tribes, the wolf is the 'Great Teacher.' (Totems by Brad Steiger p. 210) To them, the wolf is said to be wise, cunning, intelligent, strong, gregarious, courageous and mysterious. (Spirits of the Earth by Bobby Lake-Thom p. 98) According to Joachim Fest, the word 'wolf', "..suggested the qualities of strength, aggressiveness and solitariness.." to Hitler. (Hitler by Joachim Fest p. 157) The extent of this identification is suggested by the following anecdote regarding a particularly nice bit of trolling and the Fuhrer's resultant butthurt,

 "Once when the industrialist Otto Harz was visiting the Obersalzberg and Hitler likened himself to a wolf, Harz jokingly remarked, 'But Fuhrer, a wolf is long-legged, skinny, has a long nose and eats meat.'
 
 Hitler reddened and walked away.  A few minutes later Rudolf Schmundt, Hitler's chief armed-forces adjutant, suggested to Harz that he leave.  The industrialist was never again invited to the Berghoff."
 (Hitler's Secret Life by Glenn B. Infield p. 58)

It should come as no surprise then to find at this same time the Nazi state was busy enacting a program of legislation for the protection of the environment and "animal welfare in Nazi Germany" that would include laws making it the first country to protect wolves above other four legged predators even though none existed within the boundaries of the German state by then. (Animals in the Third Reich by Boria Sax, p. 75) According to author Peter Staudenmaier, these measures were viewed by other conservationists as, "among the most progressive in the world at that time" and form the basis of Germany's current animal rights laws as well as contemporary batshit wolf protection legislation in particular.

As mentioned earlier, the roots of Hitler's faggotry seem to go back, as one might expect, to his 'artist' period in Vienna. In the years before the so called 'Great War for Civilization' there was no /b/ so the only venue for aspies like him to exhibit their mock superiority was the internet-less street corner cafes that Hitler frequented where he would hold forth on the matters of the day relating in various measure to the contemporary political situation in Austria when he wasn't complaining about how the Jews fucked him over as an artist by not admitting him to the University of Vienna. This tendancy for running off was said by those who knew him during this period to seriously detract from his ability to complete his commissioned works that provided his only source of revenue once his inheritance and 'orphan pension' ran out.

Furfag Wolfaboo Discovers Walt Disney

	“	One of his favourite tunes came from a Walt Disney movie. Often and absent-mindedly he whistled "Who's Afraid of The big Bad Wolf?" —an animal, it will be recalled, who wanted to eat people up and blow their houses down.	„
	—The Psychopathic God: Adolf Hitler by Robert G.L. Waite, Da Capo Press 1993 —p27

Like most furfags, Hitler too seemed to almost have a genetically pre-ordained affinity for the works of Walt Disney Studios. Goebbels once gave him 18 Mickey Mouse cartoons for his birthday with which Hitler was supposedly "very pleased." Albert Speer's son recalled watching them when he visited Hitler's residence in Obersalzberg as well.

Most recently, evidence has emerged indicating that Hitler further produced his own fan art of Disney characters. William Hakvaag, the director of a war museum claims to have discovered drawings of three out of seven dwarves, Dopey, Bashful and Doc, along with a sketch of Pinocchio hidden behind a painting that he believes to be the work of Hitler.

According to a London Telegraph article:

Seeing as DeviantArt was unavailable during the World War II period Hitler chose instead to conceal his Disney fan art in shame while gassing over 10,000 dwarves in real life.

 "Mr Hakvaag, who said he had performed tests on the paintings which suggested that they dated from 1940, said: 'I am 100 per cent sure that these are drawings by Hitler. If one wanted to make a forgery, one would never hide it in the back of a picture, where it might never be discovered.'"

 "The initials on the sketches, and the signature on the painting, matched other copies of Hitler's handwriting, he claimed."

 "Hitler had a copy of Snow White," he said. "He thought this was one of the best movies ever made." 
 

Unacknowledged by most historians is the so-called "Dwarf Holocaust" perpetrated by Hitler under the T4 extermination program along with others who were classified under the Nazi state's Aryan racial laws as 'seriously malformed.' Among them was Lia Graf who, along with her mother, were dwarves. In 1937 they, along with Lia's father, were both arrested for being "useless persons" and taken by the Gestapo to a concentration camp. Among the charges levelled against Lia were being a dwarf as well as a tool of Wall Street for posing on the lap of financier J.P. Morgan Jr. during a trip to America in June of 1933. In 1944 she was shipped to Auschwitz and gassed. During his euthenasia program Hitler ordered over 10,000 dwarves gassed. (Hitler's Secret Life by Glenn B. Infield p. 235)

Quotes

Wolves are not endangered. Even Wikipedia knows it

So does IUCN

From wolfaboos

“   "In wolves is everything humans prize, but lack... perhaps that is what they fear... perfection without ego... love without greed... we could only wish to be so beautiful. Humans are over-rated"   „     —What... Oh, its only Ancient-Scars' siggie     “   "UP YOUR ASS! Wolves aren't a fad! Idiots like you made their plight a fad and a popularity symbol when they need out help! If you don't like wolves then that's good for you,but don't make it seem like they don't need our help! THEY DO!"   „         “   "I beg god every night to save the wolves. I pray it will happen. Wolves mean everything to me and I won't stop until they are saved."   „         “   "this video is so toatally fack and its iggnorant people like that that make wolves indandered species!!!!!! "   „     —Typical wolfaboo response to video footage of wolves attacking people     “   "WOLVES ARE WAY MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU!!!! ESPECIALLY if you think all that you say. Wolves are a beautiful creature that is wrongly mistreated by humans. Wolves play a huge part in society. If it weren't for wolves humans would have probably died out a long time ago due to illnesses from sickly animals"   „         “   "i did a large report on them [wolves] and there are 1100 in existence and they realy shouldn't have taken them of the endangered species list"   „         “   "Balto, the half dog, half wolf was more of a hero than most people. He saved people and this is the thanks you give him?"   „     —Balto was not a wolf/dog hybrid. He was a normal Alaskan dog who was actually unremarkable as a sled dog and useless as a breeding dog (i.e snip-snip). His team took the credit for the longest distance in the race despite another team having actually beaten that distance. He died as a underfed and useless show dog while the other dogs went on to actually contribute to the sled dog racing line. In other words, cartoons lied to you.     “   "The wolf was revered by the pagans as a gentle, noble creature"   „     —Yeah WolfAdvocate, the viking berserkers and the Native Americans wore wolf pelts into battle precisely because they were so cuddly     “   "RRRRR!!!!! DEATH TO WOLF HATERS!!!"   „     —Allahu akhbar!!!     “   "I would go to Alaska!! So I could kill all the wolf hunters, like they killed my family!!"   „     —Lol wut?     “   "I TOTALLY AGREE!! If I became the leader of this country, I would make the sentence for killing a wolf INSTANT DEATH!! And I DON'T CARE what their excuse is, they are demons from hell!!"   „         “   "Go to hell you F***ING HUNTERS!!! Why the HELL would they do that?! I would die for any wolf that I can save!! *grabs bazooka and shots down plane"   „     —Wolfaboo terrorist. You think this was bad? Wait till you see the next quote     “   "I couldn't agree more. There should be a human holocaust, with only weres and therianthropes remaining."   „     —Somebody please castrate this stupid fuck-head     “   "Save the wolves! Especially cuz im one of'em. DONT KILL THEM! Maybe we should start posting laws to kill mortals if they want to kill wolves! Every mortal that kills a wolf deserves to die. Unless if it was an acident. (which happens,but still.) I love wolves..they are more than just my favourite animal,i AM a wolf."   „         “   "i F***ING HATE HUNTERS, I was pissed enough when i saw the dead wolf pup article. Humans are a frickin virus."   „         “   "*snarls and runs to leap at the helicopter and rips the humans inside to shreads* Evil ****ing humans i hate what this group of peoples does to the wolves and all the other animals..."   „         “   "we all have our hardships and we wolves... we live with humans... while otheres are hunted, while a few survive in nature...... y is it thhat we are so tortured by these people....? y must we wolves suffer?"   „     —You're an emo for a start     “   "Killing wolves does NOT help them grow! Prey, yes, but who cares??"   „     —Yeah, who gives a shit about other animals?     “   "WOLFSKIN????REAL WOLFSKIN???YOU ANIMAL!!!!!!!THAT IS DISGRACEFUL!EVEN IF THE WOLVES WERE ALREADY DEAD,IT'S WRONG TO SKIN THE BODIES!!!!!!!LET NATURE HAVE IT'S WAY!!!!!!!YOU PEOPLE ARE THE REASON THESE BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS ARE BECOMING EXTINCT!!!!YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!"   „         “   "Hey a**hole, That was a lovely letter you sent to the wolf organization I am a member of. You know what, F**K YOU! If you hate wolves so much then you get out of this country and go to a country where wolves are not a native species you redneck faggot! You anti wolf rednecks are nothing more than fascist nazis because you make up only 25% of this nations population and yet you try to dictate to the rest of us! We will fight for wolves until we are put in the ground mother f**ker! Anyway, why don't you anti wolf morons just shut the f**k up and stop tryng to get any excuse to mess with wolves. Don't you people have a life? Don't you rednecks have a clan meeting to go to? It is obvious none of you know how things work. Wolves were reintroduced because the majority of Americans wanted it. Wolves will also remain protected because the majority of Americans want it that way despite that peice of s**t George Bush and our hypocritical government of buerocracy.We will get the delisting overturned! Its not all about a few ignorant and shallow individuals such as yourselves.I also guerantee sometime in this century, trophy hunting will be banned alltogether aswell because thats the way the majority of Americans would prefer it.Besides, trophy hunting is for anyone who is disturbed and sadistic and is probably compensating for a lack of something.Plus, anyone who decorates their homes with dead animal corpses is just a few steps short of being like Jeffery Dahmer in my opinion. The only reason why you people want to kill wolves is because you want to artificially boost deer and elk populations for yourselves and if thats the case, then trophy hunting needs to be outlawed in this country. Also, the right to bear arms and hunting are two total different things. It is the trophy hunters who are depleting the deer and elk population.Wolves hunt to survive. Most humans hunt just to kill and take far more deer and elk than the wolves ever will. Leave the herbavores to the natural predators. Hunting is no longer essential to human survival. Trophy hunting is also animal cruelty and should be banned outright. Besides, if we are going to allow trophy hunting then we might aswell pardon people like Michael Vick, and allow dogfighting. Its causing an animal pain and suffering for fun so its no better than the other. Just because it is not a domestic animal, does not make trophy hunting right. I say ban all trophy hunting along with anything else people do that is inhumane and cruel. The majority of Americans are pro wolf and you people are not going to get your way because we will do everything in our power to stop you.I hate to give all of you a reality check and pull your heads out of your a**es, but thats how it is.By the way, I am getting a college education studying law and politics.Among the causes I will devote my life to after college, will be defending wolves. All the things you people say about wolves is a crock of s**t and the majority of people in this country know it.If you people don't like it, then get out this country and move to a country that doesn't have wolves and where wolves are not a native species. Modern America doesn't wan't you people in it anyway. You can go ahead and get mad and attack all you want but I know what the truth is and I will not apologize for standing up for wolves and wildlife.That is because I know for a fact just how disgusting,corrupt,cruel,and inhumane cowboys and rednecks are over their own personal greed. Horses kill more people than wolves ever have or will. In fact, there are no authentic documented cases of healthy wolves attacking humans in America. So live and let live.I know for a fact that wolves are not what ranchers or you ignorant people try to make them out to be because I had a wolf hybrid as a pet when I was a teenager.I had a great grandfather who rescued a wolf pup from ignorant people such as yourselves, and raised it. That wolf was his favorite animal companion. I have also studied about wolves from every book and article I could find. I have books that go as far back as the 1950s when scientists began studying wolves and people started fighting to protect them, I also volunteer at a wolf rescue and sanctuary to escape where I have to live so you will never brainwash me from what I already know is the truth. I will not quietly let something I love be destroyed over greed. This might strike a nerve with the ranching industry but I am going to say it anyway. As a consumer, I get a choice whether or not tuna is dolphin safe but not whether or not my steak is wolf, bear, or cougar safe? Thats not cool! Anyway, I don't care what some greedy ranchers or morons like you people think! I will fight for wolves and wildlife and any other passion that I have until I am put in the ground. Tell Butch Otter I said for him to shut his f**king mouth and join Senetor Larry Craig in the men's room! To all of you anti wolf morons; F**K YOU!!!"   „     —A sober and well thought out response to a wolf hunter's arguments from Mike Wagner Previous Quote | Next Quote

From wolfer-trolls

“   [The wolf] exhibits no heroism, no sacrifice, no honor, and no skill. It pisses upon rocks and trees to mark its territory; the wolf ingests its own feces for reasons that are beyond me. The wolf has no ingenuity, no alternate way of thinking that could give it an edge against its next (or even current) target. The wolf flees from foes larger than it, and will not stand and hold the line when odds are not in its favor. How anyone can possibly see bravery, strength, and intelligence in this creature is beyond me.   „         “   What the fuck happened to Defenders of Wildlife? It used to be a legit general wildlife conservation group. Now it's just a bunch of uneducated stupid wolfaboos pretending to care about all animals. All they ever crusade for nowadays is wolves. Wolves wolves wolves. That's it. No saving rattlesnakes from the rattlesnake roundup, no protesting live coyote baiting*, it's all about SAVE DA WOOFS   „         “   Stop sucking your wolf dildo and wake up to reality!   „         “   I read an article about the man that killed the first wolf in my state. Wolfaboos were threatening to literally kidnap his children and cover them with stench and leave them out for the wolves to tear them apart. These people are fucking insane.   „         “   "When you have to resort to acting all high and mighty, you've lost the argument. Also, apparently to wolfaboos, facts aren't actually facts if they don't confirm their world-view. I think I will go around proclaiming myself an expert on whales. I saw something about them on TV and read something on the internet about them once. That means even though I don't have some silly PhD or something, I am on the same level as the people who study them for a living and view them in an unbiased manner."   „         “   Nobody owns a wolf or wolfdog unless they're a wolfaboo, desperate to be cool, or have a small penis. Even worse are the YouTube videos of their wolves doing cute and funny things or videos of wolf puppies. Just stop it, you're encouraging people to go out and buy them from skeezy brokers like those batshit breeders in Texas. All while not doing research. And people wonder why their wolves tear their faces off. Here's a hint; THEY'RE WILD FUCKING ANIMALS. When you do things that piss them off, they will strike back. That's how animals work, and wild animals have even LESS restraint than a domesticated one.   „         “   we humans created the next step of canine evolution. seriously, dogs are better than wolves in everything. for example, the German Sheperd is one of the most skillful and intelligent dog races. then they were bred with wolves to make a new race, the 'Italian Wolf dog'...and this new race is completely boneheaded.   „         “   Shaun Ellis has nothing to teach a wolf. He cannot teach them how to hunt, he cannot teach them how to have sex, and he cannot teach them how to seriously fight among themselves. Think about it. Ellis is too slow to chase down a rabbit. More to the point, the wolves do not have near enough room to run down a deer or elk on their own (not that there are any elk in the U.K.). So what does Ellis "teach" the wolves to do instead? He teaches them to ... wait for it ... fish with a few mackeral and trout he steals from the seal exhibit next door. Oh goodie! Talk about Through the Looking Glass.   „         “   "I like wolves as much as the next guy, but it is kind of ridiculous how romanticisized and over hyped they can be. I will join you in dissecting some of these arguments, lol ^^...from the perspective of a biological science major, with a desire to be a veterinarian. Yep, they arent THAT smart. Sure, as far as animals go, wolves are slightly above average...but Dolphins, cephalapods, and cetaceans as a group, pigs (who's intelligence is often overlooked), Elephants, primates, and some birds are, in fact smarter. Pack behavior should not be assumed to be intelligence. A lot of that is imitation and instinct. You're completely right about a wolf's strength. A human who stays alert, and is armed with a large enough stick or blunt object, could probably keep at least two wolves at bay for a bit. Wolves are built for speed and endurance, not strength. Some domestic dogs are much larger and/or physically stronger than woles (Rottwilers, Pitbulls, etc). "Fighting a wolf is like fighting a tiger" ...oh...my...god...that deserves a facepalm. *facepalms repeatedly*. I hate to tell whoever said this...but you're completely wrong. Fighting a TIGER is like fighting a tiger. A wolf is what, about 5-6ft long and maybe 80-110 pounds (I might be being generous with that size too)...and full grown Siberian Tiger is about 10 to 12ft and between 500 and 700 pounds in weight. Its like comparing a middle school kid...to Mike Tyson. Wolves hunt in packs because they arent very strong individually. That is the purpose of most group behavior. Sure, you have exceptions, like a pride of lions...but in general, a group is used to compensate for the lesser strength of its individual parts. "WOLVES ARE WAY SMARTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ...that deserves yet another facepalm. If a wolf is way smarter than you...you have problems. Dont mistake group behavior for intelligence. Lemmings live in groups, but they will follow other members of their group off a cliff without a second thought (YES, lemmings are real animal, people. lol. look it up). As I said earlier, wolves are slightly above average...but not anything to make any big deal about, as far as animals go. Now, cephalapods...there's some intelligence in that group of animals."   „     Previous Quote | Next Quote

How to troll wolfaboos (or "How to be a Wolfer-troll")

The agony of choice...

It really works!

*GROWL*

The result of wolfer trolling.

• State that wolves are overrated
• State that wolves are not endangered, and that wolves hog the limelight of animals more deserving of attention and protection
• State that you support wolf hunting
• State that you support aerial wolf shooting
• State that you do not support aerial wolf shooting, then go on to say that you miss the bygone days when wolves could be poisoned en masse or chased and torn apart with dogs
• State that you support clubbing wolf pups
• State that you collect wolf pelts
• State on a wolf forum that you loved The Chronicles of Narnia, and that your favourite scene was when Peter skewers the wolf
• Same as above, only replace The Chronicles of Narnia with The Day after Tomorrow
• Tell them that having a "spirit wolf" is not unique, daring or special considering that 75% of all selected spirit animals are wolves
• State that Balto and/or Wolf's Rain were crap
• Mention "surplus killing" when they state that wolves only kill for food
• Ask for wolf-meat recipes
• Play as a hunter, rancher or wolfhound in a wolf RP
• If you're into World of Warcraft, then tell them that the worgen are a pointless race with no folkloric basis, made only to market to the wolfaboo's idiotic fanbase, and mention that when playing the game, you habitually skin wolves and sell their pelts
• Say that you support Sarah Palin
• Tell them that poodles are cooler and more majestic
• Tell them that their dog is quite obviously NOT part wolf
• State that people who keep wolves or wolf hybrids as pets are morons
• Quote from this book on trapping and hunting wolves
• Tell them that Golden Eagles ruin wolves, then prove it by showing them this:

• TL;DR, just say ANYTHING negative about wolves

Wolfaboo reactions

A 100% accurate illustration of how wolfaboos react to even the mildest suggestion that wolves may not be beautiful, majestic, merciful god-incarnations. Please note that this manga is not photoshopped. Also, remember to read starting from right to left.

• 
  NO!!! DONT EVEN USE WOLFS AS METAPHORS!!!
• 
  THAT AUTOMATICALLY MEANS YOU HATE WOLFS, DON'T YOU??!!
• 
  WOLVES ARE MUCH MUCH NOBLER (actual text)
• 
  SHUT UP I KNOW MOAR ABOUT WOLFS THAN YOU!!!
• 
  MYTHS ABOUT WOLFS BEING MAN-EATERS ARE WRONG, BUT THOSE OF WOLFS BEING GODS ARE TRUE!!!
• 
  THE ONLY REASON WOLFS WERE SLAUGHTERED IN EUROPE WAS BECAUSE PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY WERE DEMONS!!! IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH WOLFS KILLING SHEEP AND CHILDREN!!!
• 
  WOLFS NEVER PICK FIGHTS, I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Wolfaboo jokes

Q. What did the wolfaboo say to the wolf?

A. Nothing, the wolf bit his head off before he could speak.

Q. Why did the wolf cross the road?

A. Because there were no wolfaboos on the other side

Q. Why didn't the three little pigs have a sequel?

A. They were slaughtered by a mob of wolfaboos.

Q.Why do wolfaboos claim that wolves are endangered, despite the proof in the ESA?

A. They "don't know who ESA is" (see here if you don't get it)

Q. Why did the Balto series end so quickly?

A. Balto was ashamed, so he quit.

Q. What gets automatically tainted forever as soon as the eyes of a wolfaboo lay on it?

A. Any form of entertainment involving wolves

Q. What happened to little red riding hood?

A. She spent the rest of her life hiding..... From the raging wolfaboos

Anonymous was visiting the zoo when he came across the wolf exhibit. He was rather disappointed, as there was only one, rather sickly looking wolf licking its rectum. When he told the keeper this, he was reassured that the wolf was in fact quite ferocious, and in peak condition just an hour ago when some crazed wolf fan had jumped the fence, been torn to shreds and messily devoured. 'If that's so' Anonymous asked, 'why is he just sitting there licking his rear?'... Poor thing can't get the taste out of his mouth.

Wolf Faggotry at its Best

Previous Video | Next Video

Galleries

Wolfaboo "art"

Expandable Gallery, Eh? About missing Pics

• 
  SAVE TEH KITTENS, err, WOLFS!!!
• 
  Best put this poor wolf with deformed legs out of its misery
• 
  THE GOGGLES!!!
• 
  Wolfaboos fail not only in anatomy, but also aircraft design. Looks like something out of Noddy's Toyland Adventures

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  More likely, the "alpha" male would slap you like a bitch, and order you to go back to taking the garbage out
• 
  How to draw a "wolf", wolfaboo style
• 
  Ironic, considering that Jesus used wolves as a metaphor for enemies of God
• 
  Even the Sonic fags can't keep their corrupting mits offa them
• 
  How about no?
• 
  Save the wolves, from the melon which this specimen is obviously choking on
• 
  Apparently, wolves have short, cylindrical bodies, miniscule upper-arms and thighs, plantigrade feet and limbs longer than their bodies
• 
  Fuck, they're dyslexic too
• 
  Save the wolves from the UFOs!!
• 
  It is well known that wolves have three toes, three legs and gigantic hind feet
• 
  Save the wolves, so the moon can be sung to... On another note, their spelling once again raises doubts as to whether or not they actually ever read about wolves
• 
  Someone actually thought this thought about wolves was romantic enough to make into a meme

Wolfaboo pwnage and hate art

Fuck this shit! About missing Pics

• 
  Every wolfaboo's dream...
• 
  ... continued
• 
  The Big Bad Wolf's reaction to this article's wolfaboo "art" section
• 
  Wolves are so ashamed of how wolfaboos portray them, that they're now desperate enough to disguise themselves as Jews

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  A wolfaboo in his natural habitat baaawing about cheetahs being able to kill a wolf
• 
  If you truly think wolves are the most badass animals out there, then you clearly have not heard of the honey badger
• 
• 
  Oh exploitable
• 
  Shaun Ellis returns to his family, after being fired from the Combe Martin Wildlife Park
• 
  This wolfaboo got slammed!!
• 
  The Beast's reaction to this website
• 
  HOW CANZ U NOT LIEK BALTO????
• 
  Sarah Palin's ONE redeeming feature: she is a champion anti-wolfaboo troll
• 
  I came
• 
  Headshot!!!
• 
  Balto vs Sarah Palin ZOMG!!!
• 
  According to wolfaboos, all animals are equal (but wolves are more equal than others)
• 
  Wolfaboos are playing into the wolf illuminati's paws
• 
  The critically endangered aye-aye is sick of the wolf's constant whining
• 
  Redsksin reaction to wolfaboo's bastardisation of his culture
• 
  An absoloutely 100% accurate rendition of pretty much ALL wolfaboo written comics
• 
  "FUCK YOU, I'M A WOLF TOO!" When thinking of wolves, wolfaboos only consider the large, fat, fluffy wolves of North America. The small, long eared Asian wolves can fuck off and die
• 
  Post this as your siggie pic on a wolf forum
• 
  OM NOM NOM
• 
  A wolf died of natural causes??? O NOES!
• 
  Even the hyenatards think the wolfaboos are full of shit
• 
  Everyone acknowledges that captive big cats and bears, however tame, are still dangerous. Not so with wolves, say the wolfaboos!
• 
  Stupid twat, its only a fucking thumbnail
• 
  Facepalm
• 
  Wolfaboo equating wolf hunting to the holocaust getting what he/she deserves
• 
  Wolfaboo reaction to someone asking about the palatability of wolf flesh
• 
  Hitler was a wolfaboo too!
• 
  Don an Irish wolfhound versus a wolf charm to ward them off.
• 
  Plz dont make fun of wolfs thnx
• 
  So majestic!
• 
  I too would have my grammar slip if I was depicted as a dog who shits to defeat her enemies.

Pictures to Troll Wolfaboos

Poor defenseless creatures :'( About missing Pics

• 
• 
  Ready... PULL!!!
• 
  Raptor Jesus is a passionate wolf hunter, as well as being a champion wolfertroll
• 
  Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Quaritch doesnt give a shit

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• Complete mismatch, made all the more hilarious by the fact that the wolfaboos brought it upon themselves
  Complete mismatch, made all the more hilarious by the fact that the wolfaboos brought it upon themselves
• One dead wolf, two dead wolves, three dead wolves ...
  One dead wolf, two dead wolves, three dead wolves ...
• You can still see the look of RAGE on its face.
  You can still see the look of RAGE on its face.
• 
  Even other dogs fucking hate them.
• If they're so tough, how come they can't withstand bullets HUH?!
  If they're so tough, how come they can't withstand bullets HUH?!
• 
  Jesus Christ, even a pint-sized eagle can kill them...
• 
  ... on a regular basis
• 
  This one was killed by an 87 year old woman. With her bare hands [1].
• Judging by the size of his, we're glad this one is dead.
  Judging by the size of his, we're glad this one is dead.
• Guess how many there are here.
  Guess how many there are here.
• Get down from there wolf. You don't belong on a plane, you're a wolf.
  Get down from there wolf. You don't belong on a plane, you're a wolf.
• 
  This wolf was ugly and deserved to die.
• 
  Oddly enough pictures like this don't bother wolfaboos at all.
• 
  "WOLFS R NOT SAVAGE KILLERS!1! THEY KILL THEIR PREY QUICKLY AND PAINLESSLY!1!1!"
• 
  This is how Kyrgystan trolls wolfaboos
• Pah! A wolf could take on a bear and win!
  Pah! A wolf could take on a bear and win!
• ... Nevermind ...
  ... Nevermind ...
• 
  Arabs are actually good for something.

See also

• ALF
• Blackfrost
• Paradisefreedom
• Dracoguard - Well...he might love canines in general, perhaps a little too much
• Doutaini - A haven for delusional wolfaboos.
• Furry
• Otherkin
• Rats
• Sparkledogs
• Teen Werewolf - Surprisingly, has nothing to do with real werewolves.
• Three Wolf Moon, the uniform of wolfaboos
• Wajas Sparkledogs for Wolfaboos
• Werewolves - Yes they do exist, but are not as awesome as you may think.
• Wild Wolf Society
• Wolf
• WOLFABOO: The Movie
• wwwarea

External links

• Balto Source forums, a haven for Balto-loving wolfaboos
• Wolf Haven Spirit of the Past: A website run by rednecks selling crossbred huskies and advertising them as wolves. Among the words of wisdom this gem has to offer is that wolves are felines, and that they can be raised perfectly well in an appartment or in the back of a truck. Visit the guestbook.

Warning: This site does not allow right clicking. If you attempt to right click you will be spammed with a "You are not allowed to right click" message box. This is due to the webmaster being furfag

• MORE wolfaboo faggotry

Wolfaboo is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]

Wolfaboo is part of a series on Psychology