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Johnathan Franklin Lerner
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Johnathan Franklin "cum churner" Lerner✡ formerly The-Hylian-Metalhead but now known as 
HiruHikari13, is an autistic Jewish christfag that deserves a special award for also being more pathetic than any other TTTE fan on DeviantART. Though we're not really complaining, as it only helps us along in sending him to the gas chambers faster. John "Tard Cum Churner" Lerner is famous for being an autistic manchild on DevianTART that is exceptionally obsessed with the black metal subculture and of all things related to Thomas the Tank Engine with a dash of politics, anime, and Zelda. So obsessed with Zelda in fact, he made an alternative religion based on the in-game's one. Which is also magically atheistic. As if that didn't give you a special kick from the cum shot you just took, he began his political phase and took it srsly, wanting to become a Fascist for no particular reason. So he took an online quiz and got centrist. However this was not kewl enough for him to hang out with the popular kids, so he took it again (and again) until he got Fascism. His only problems from going down that ideological path (besides basing it off an online quiz of course) is that he's a faggot, an ethnic Jew, and currently in a relationship to an ape, LOL, never mind.
He is probably one of the reasons that Hitler killed himself, seeing this future manchild amongst thousands more as future followers of his once active movement.
The Autism Train
Like all typical asspies, John is obsessed with TTTE. Reminding us of England's war crimes next to Toast sandiwich and the United States. In typical fashion, he tends to make rather funny memes about TTTE and another hobby (like politics), mostly of the demotivational poster variety or in outstandingly made photoshop images that shows the same amount of effort he puts into life. The sad thing is that due to the content of his "art"(and we're using this term lightly) and how it takes almost no effort, the fucknugget has the AUDACITY to tell others they have to kiss his ass because he has Assburger's. Even though in South Park, Cartman proves anyone could get it as long as they insert hamburgers in their pants.
Besides this, he also has a grandeur delusion that anything he touches turn to gold like Mida's touch. Even though the entire gist of the story was meant to be a tragedy, luckily the output of his creative passions doesn't stream too far from this. With the creation of the Shapeshifter League, you can count on Johnathan, grievousvsdarkahsoka and mechatrain150 to save the day!
Shapeshifter League
JK!!!1! Lerner has an O.C called Daylight, which is really just his skinnier, less pitiful and cooler self insert. This O.C is made with the finest DA bases it has to offer, alongside mutilated parts from Kisakae for his O.C's hair. Just like Lerner, his O.C doesn't fall too far of being a Frankenstein genetic wise. Now here's the part where his "Daylight" OC comes into play. He wanted to develope a wannabe anime series called "Shape Shifters Leage" (that's "leage" consistently spelled without an "U") made alongside his friend Nechatrain150. This is supposed to be some super badass project apparently, at least that's what we're getting from all the heavy metal that's involved with this. No one really knows the plot, besides the fact that the main character has a fetish for rape. Also, (Un)shockingly Lerner isn't as cute as his O.C IRL. He was stupid enough to take selfies of himself and post them on the interbuttz thinking that we care. Instead all he did was scare millions and millions of potential girlfriends.
Lerner Turns Alt
Last Thursday, Lerner thought to himself, "what if Hitler was right?", and decided to join the National Socialist movement after some srs studying. However in order to show his dedication to the white race, what could he possibly do? Attend events or study theory? March against immigration? Nah, he just decided to take a online political quiz to only receive Centrism. This was not edgy enough for Lerner, so he took the test several more times, each time drifting farther and father to the right. Wonder why.
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First time -
Second time -
And third time...
At this point you may be wondering if he was making up answer on this political test to make him seem more radical then he really was since he sky-rocketed from centrist to far-right pretty fast. You would be correct in that assessment. Lerner went on to admit that he was picking and choosing results he would think would land him a more radical result on the test to seem more edgy then he lets on. The only problem is that the asspie then thought it was his duty now to be the cool edgy fascist on DA.
Now that he was a super cool fascist Lerner made the "National League of North America" his fictional fashy organization which he would now larp as. Once again he fucks it up like all things in his life. The peice of fanfic is one giant text block, there is no coherent plot to it, everything goes well for his kawaii bishie O.C, and the premise sounds like a five year old writing it ending with "lel I killed allthe musfags the end" This natrually ended in some criticisms of the work in question with one review summarizing the work here;
He didn't take this to heart and just went on with his retarded views. The thing is if you expected Lerner to have a higher IQ then a candy necklace then you'd be wrong, and if you expected him to remain consistent you would also be wrong. For one thing despite being fascist Lerner revealed himself to be a kike and is friends with other wannabe fascist kike Missouri Patritiot AKA lord Elthibar. In honor of them being kikes made a special gift for the both of them to honor them being super special.
It should also be noted that by his own admittance that Lerner is a literal faggot or at least bi and he prefers the dick. Though he couldn't do this right since even though he admits he prefers men he instead got something much worse.
Coal Burner
Johnathan realizing he is a pathetic manchild who faps to train engines making even weeaboos with their body pillows laugh at him got really depressed and though about an heroing. Sadly for us this never took place. Instead the fat neck-beard took to DA and started a journal asking if anyone would be his Girlfriend. Now most sane people ignored this watered down craigslist ad, as only the most desperate, fugliest, tardiest, user would ever sign up to such a proposition. Meet NINJAGOCOlE1234.
This fat ass she-man she-boon nigger took up John's offer for being his cum bucket. Looking at her it can clearly be seen why as she did the Olympian task of looking uglier then the autistic OP in question. Like all autists she made a journal telling the world about her boyfriend. The funniest part though maybe be John's own summary of how this came to be.
The National League of America
Jonathan contacted another Fascist larp by the name of the-black-legionary to help create a new Deviantart Fascist ideology, The National League of America. Now since Jonathan's art skills are limited to anime bases he relied on his "friend" for all other things from the flag to so called propaganda posters. Cum tard churner also created a Deviantart group called LGBT-Fascists in an attempt to get more serious Fascists to believe he was #theirguy. Eventually Johnathan's dad decided to tell his son that the holohoax was completely real Goy, which made him become a Libertarian once again and close down his Fashy alt ExtremelyBrutalDeath. Until Lerner became Fascist again a few months later. But Lerner had no clue about what Fascism actually entailed so he ended up making even more of a fool of himself.
See Also:
- A Condom
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Johnathan Franklin Lerner is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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Johnathan Franklin Lerner is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Johnathan Franklin Lerner is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Johnathan Franklin Lerner is part of a series on Dying Alone
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