ChildLine

File:ChildLine-Logo.jpg

ChildLine is a British support line for children who're getting raped or abused. It is also a rip-off of Dateline NBC except not as lulzy. Unless you really like prank phone calls or you keep dialing the wrong number, then you qualify for the 99.99% who actually call up because you're getting your ass kicked by mummy or daddy. Take note of the person on the other end sighing constantly, as it proves what many are thinking, NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was founded before the internet by horse-toothed hellhag Dame Enid Rancid, host of BBC light entertainment spacktacular That's Life!, who nevertheless failed to spot the world's biggest pedo when he was right under her nose the whole time.

Ways to Help ChildLine

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Don't worry, the sagely words of the many people at ChildLine will calm you down.

• Call up saying you're actually Madeleine McCann
• Claim you were raped repeatedly by Bubba
• Phone up saying you know your alphabet, starting with 'A is for Assrape', 'B is for Buttsex' etc.
• Ask if durex is better than Pasante, then say that your Dad agrees
• Describe your 'ordeal' in way which is similar to the Holocaust and ask why your nose is so fucking big
• Email them saying you 'Do Not Forgive, Do Not Forget' and 'Have over 9000 penises'
• Ask why daddy has started using the hammer instead of the belt
• Quote every jail scene from American History X
• Ask why niggers like KFC
• Ask where hitler sent the jews
• Ask the use of sex toys and where you can aquire them
• Go "urh-urh-urh-urh, now then, now then, guys and gals" until the operator cries

And many, many other ways.

Videos

Chris Hansen is not pleased.

The shitty little advert involving a fucked up doll as a metaphor

What happens if you tell anyone.

What you should be doing...

....and what your dad will do if you don't.

The Best And Harshest Reality

YOU'RE GONNA GET BEATEN

See Also

• Sir Jim'll
• Child Abuse
• Chris Hansen
• Goofy Time
• Trolling IRL
• Lulz

External Links

• Their site. You know what to do.
• Their fail of a concert to raise awareness of child abuse.
• Cool charity bro.
• Wikipedia thinks it knows childline.
• ChildLine trying to appeal to a broad audience.